The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Life
January 27, 2016267 Comments
The following is an excerpt from my new book Beautiful Uncertainty.
1) The First Love. Also commonly known as “The High School Sweetheart.” This boy is the Kevin to your Winnie. The Cory to your Topanga. The Dawson to your Joey. Sweet, innocent, idealistic…this is the stuff coming-of-age movies are made of. The First Love is probably the first boy you’ll ever kiss. (Or at least the first one you’ll kiss and feel the earth move.) He probably plays a sport and wears a letterman jacket. He’ll give you his class ring (which is too big, so you’ll proudly wrap yarn around it and wear it as badge of honor.) Some people go on to marry their first love, and the list ends here for them. Most, however…wave goodbye to him one bittersweet day as life and circumstance pulls you in two different directions and growing up comes much too soon. He’ll teach you to drive, to kiss, to LOVE, to open your heart and trust and take chances, paving the way for all the other loves still to come…and then he’ll move on.
2) The One That Could Have Been (But the Timing Was Always Off). Maybe you met him while one of you was already in a relationship. Maybe every time you started to get close, life or work or something else completely unexpected came between you. Maybe it was simply God watching out for you, because He knows the two of you burned too brightly together to ever sustain a lasting spark. The One that Could Have Been is also often known as “The Big Love.” The love that seemed so meant to be that it wasn’t. The one that you were sure you’d never recover from until you did. This person is likely a soulmate, but the kind of soulmate that Liz Gilbert describes in Eat Pray Love:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.”
Perhaps in another lifetime you were perfect together…but not this one.
3) The Bad Boy. This one will probably steal your heart in your early 20’s, in those years when you’re trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be, and discovering your wings seems to come with a side of rebellion. You’ll think you can change him, but you can’t. (And secretly, you won’t want to, because if you did, he’d no longer be the boy who stole your heart). He’ll make you cry as much or more as he makes you laugh. Underneath it all, you suspect he has a heart of gold…and he probably does…but it will take years and many women after you to uncover it. Here’s the thing about bad boys: In the end, they always walk away. But they don’t leave you empty-handed. In their wake will be a girl who now knows what she wants out of love and what she won’t ever again stand for. And she’s finally learned how to say “Thanks, but no thanks” to anyone who doesn’t meet that standard.
4) The One That Got Away. This boy will seem perfect…and secretly, you suspect he is. He’ll say all the right things, do all the right things, be the very picture of everything you ever imagined you wanted…except now that you have it, you question if you’re ready for that kind of perfection. And chances are, you’re not. Life knows when you’re ready. GOD knows when you’re ready. So even though The One That Got Away offers you everything you thought you wanted, he offers nothing you KNOW you need. And what you need is more time. Time to date other boys you’ll like but won’t love. Time to not date at all and just figure out who YOU are. Time to become the woman you’re meant to be and that you’re closer than ever to coming face to face with, thanks to the lessons brought to you by four “almost-loves.” And you’re almost ready for him…but not quite…so you’ll open your hand and set him free…feeling the beautiful double-edged sword of releasing what’s good and holding out for what’s good for YOU…while secretly wondering for the next few years if in letting go of “The One That Got Away,” you really let go of “The One.”
Except you didn’t.
5) The One. I haven’t met this one yet. I like to think he’s a mix of the four loves that came before him. I like to think he’s sweet and steadfast like The First Love, and passionate and challenging like The One That Could Have Been, and a little wild and rough around the edges like The Bad Boy, with the heart for commitment and building a life together like The One That Got Away. I like to think he’s all of them and none of them, all at the same time. I like to think he personifies this list and also erases it…using the scattered pieces of my heart he gently reclaims from each of them as the eraser. I like to think he will make me forget about anyone I ever loved or thought I loved before he came into my life. But I suspect he won’t. I suspect he will outshine them without setting fire to their memory all together. I suspect he will help me see the need for the other loves while also revealing to me in walking, talking form why it never worked out with any of them. He was always my destination. But they were my preparation.
And I am silently thankful for every step it took to get me here.
Beautiful Uncertainty will be released on Feb. 2nd. Preorder now & download the first two chapters + my Guide to Letting Go & Moving On FREE.
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Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Thank you! Thank you ! Thank you.
You wrote exactly what i needed to read and having been recently separated and currently in the middle of a divorce, I feel even more certain that God had somebody and something great in store for me too!
I could only shake my head. So real…100% I’ve been following your Tweets for 3 years now… just love it.
I think this was really good. But everytime I read through this I thought of someone. I think if in the future we will move on, and find ” the one ” and well it was like you said as well ” the one that could’ve been” I just don’t know I’m so confused. Besides the fact that I’ve never even had a boyfriend. So I wouldn’t know really know. I just like this though. It’s nice you know. I have no other words actually lol.
I am 20 years old, I moved in with my boyfriend and we were living together for a year, until I moved out of the house. It was a pretty messy ending we fought like animals. After 3 weeks of breaking up he started a new relationship, and after few weeks after he married her and now they are expecting their first baby. I felt so bad for a long time. But thanks to you and my friends one day I realized that he wasn’t the one for me. I realized that i needed that relationship to prepare me for better things. And that there are better things ahead.
I like this article, I have experienced all of them. For the past two days, God told me to be happy with my current boyfriend. I just cannot believe that even though I dated him once before for only two months, and when I started to mature, he came back to me like a boomerang. I just do not know if this is normal and I have no idea who my ideal one is, for a long time I thought it was one of my previous boyfriends, but that guy ripped my heart out twice, and kept making up excuses. I just don’t know who is my one?
My number #1 is my #5 🙂
I couldn’t have said it better myself! I love your writing, blog and books!! I def can relate!
I loved it
Beautifully said <3 It made me cry 🙂
true linda
The sad irony that i ended up here because of a linda.
I have loved each one but still waiting for “The One.” You are so accurate in the description of each….perfect. It made me stop and think about each one for a moment… With a smile on my face……
look u sound pretty and ur true love will come just keep waiting
Yeah, I agree. I had to really think about it, but yeah. Spot on. Happy New Year, Mandy!
Had a chance to win any one of them. I chose the bad boy. After 28yrs. he left me, for a bad girl. I steeled myself to NEVER be hurt like that again. I don’t know if there was ever anyone else for me, I never looked. I’m 63 now and feel it’s probably too late. I don’t even know if I want anyone.
Keep looking. My neighbors have been married for 2 years and they are both in their early seventies.
Patti, the one thing i know, that it’s never too late. Anything is possible as long as you want it. In The Netherlands we have a saying: If there’s a will, there’s a way. Anyway, it sounds absolutely horrible. And I wish you all the best. Being single is not a bad thing!
Kind regards, Wieske
Patti, 60 is the new 40. I’m saying that as I’m 43 and 40 is the new 30! LOL You are NOT too old but don’t go look for someone just to have someone. Discovering yourself and who you are and what you want in life is an amazing adventure. If you find someone to compliment that, great and if not. You are enough!
It is never too late to find “the one!!”
It is never to late for love!
Mandy!! It’s good to read about experiences that may be similar to ours!!! Admire your job, your capability to express and share what hurt some of us so badly, and still have hope!! Wish I could be more like you!!
Patti…just keep your heart open…not just for love to come your way, but, there might be someone out there now who needs to be loved…by you. xx
Patti, I, like you, vowed never to love again, therefore never being hurt. And I built that wall around my heart tall and sturdy! And it held a good 25 years, as that’s how long I have been single after my divorce. Until July ’13, when, at a class reunion at a friends house, I met up with a classmate who had been all the way through school with me from 3rd grade…50 years ago. We talked, he called, we fell in love via phone and internet as he was living on the other side of the state from me. Long story short, we have committed to each other, the rest of our lives, and have acknowledged that we are the loves of each other’s lives…so worth waiting for!! I am now 58 and he is 59…so DON’T GIVE UP….just let it happen 🙂
My great aunt got married in her 80s 😉 & they are so adorable and perfect! Don’t give up <3 I'm stuck on my bad boy, hoping our child will soften the roug edges and open him up a bit.
Patti…. My Mum remarried last year at the age of 67 and has never been happier… love comes when you least expect it and at ALL ages. Keep your chin up… x
The one is the one who has been there the whole time. He has been there when you’ve dated your first love, when you’ve dated the one that could’ve been, the bad boy and the one that for away. He was there to listen to you patiently and sympathetically when you cried, he was the shoulder that you laid on, he was there even if you weren’t, and if he wasn’t – he’s there now. Stop looking so far and look around. Who is there pretending that he isn’t?
So true. Still waiting for the one .
and keep waiting he will come
I love your posts, and this one really speaks to my heart. I’m 49yrs old, been married & divorced 3 times and still hoping that God is preparing me and my “one” for a future together….. I rarely get lonely even tho I’m alone, but lately I’ve been feeling it. A friend once told me “Whoever you’re with at midnight New Years Eve is the one you’ll be with all year”….. He was the “almost, but not quite” one that got away, and I missed my moment with him that midnight…..
Beautifully written! It was exactly the message I needed to hear today. Thank you. You have renewed my hope.
Absolutely Anazing !!!! Love it !!!
Thanks for an interesting perspective. I always believed there were three great loves of your life , your first love ,your true love and your soulmate. Happy New Year Mandy. Thank you for blessing me in 2013 and I look forward to more in 2014.
This list is so right on! Even though I don’t have the “one” yet I am so glad God is preparing me for the day I finally meet him- sometimes through heartbreaks and pain – other times by merely helping me learn to lean on Him and trust His faithfulness to provide when that time is right. I hope yours will come soon. That sure will be a wonderful testimony for us all! 😉 Be blessed Mandy!
And…….YOUR DADDY!!!! Love this list:) Especially love the quote about finding your soulmate in the mirror:) Love you, and your blogs!
Wow! This was spot on .. i am sooo going to share this with my friends on facebook .. love it … god knows when that person who is meant for us is ready and when we are ready and in his precious timing it will be time to meet 🙂 blessing mandy 🙂
I love this! It’s so on point and I feel this way exactly 🙂
I was never much of a “dater”. So I rolled #1, 2, and 4 all into 1 man and then wondered why I took so long to get over him! When your first love comes at 30 and you think it’s your last, it’s, well, devestating. I’ll skip the bad boy I think and wait for #5 🙂 God bless you in this new year and may He bring you all your hearts desire.
Perfect words, l love it!
OMG! OMG! OMG!! I’m only 25 and I feel like I have met all four guys. I know “The One” is so far away from me and that’s good. I’m still in the process of figuring what I want and who I want to be. And I know Baby Jesus will cross my path with “him” when we are both ready. Mandy I absolutely love your book and Thank You for sharing your story but most importantly Thank You for showing people that being single is a great thing!
This post has brought back many, many, many memories. As I read each “type” I could immediately associate it with a guy from my past. Each guy God brought into my life was done so for a reason. They were all “blessons” – a blessing and a lesson. There comes a point where you need to enjoy life and all that you’ve been blessed with. God is perfecting each of our love stories; however, this need to be done on God’s terms- not ours.
Thank you Mandy for having such a wonderful blog! Happy 2014!
So very true. We must learn to be happy with ourselves and trust In God he knows what and who is best for us and if we r meant to be our own we r never alone as long as we believe and have faith.
The road leading to the one can be long and rigorous as only one who has been on the path can bear witness. I found the one after going through all the others but lost him to death. Does that mean i will not find another? Do i deserve to have two “ones” in my life when some have not even found one?
Yes. Yes you do. Death is an unfortunate part of some of our stories, but it doesn’t mean our book of love is done. Blessings to you this New Year, dear one. <3
a good read 🙂
Yup. Awesome! Happy New year!
I love this… When i read it,it made me realize that he is out there waiting for
Im hopelessly waiting for him
Im tired of games
Great list. I would add “The Friend” — as in the one (or ones) who see you as only a friend, but who you know would be great for you. Hmmm, sounds like a Taylor Swift song. Thank you for your website!
Oh it is so true!! I felt the same way about describing The One! 🙂
I like your name
i found this to be really sweet, as a guy i feel the same way.
I’m in the middle of ‘the one that could have been’ at the moment. It’s totally gut-wrenching, but so great to see it written so succinctly here. Thank you.
I love it…..so true
Great post!! And so true! I never dated a bad boy but the rest…yes! Still searching high and low…damn it where is he…for Mr. Right!
KK @ Preppy Pink Crocodile
spot on 😀
A perfect start to a very new year.
thnq
this is so true.and I think I have found the one.hes just different from all the fours.
Take a break and don’t fret, someone is around the corner. My mom and her boyfriend are enjoying life, she’s 83, he’s 85.
Thank you for just reinforcing to me when talking about the One , that the man I am with now …is all the things you described that I couldnt put my finger on. He is all those things.
This article really was great and made me cry. I thought about all four of the lives I have been through and how they all made me grow in.some way or another. But im.still hoping I find the one soon
The only person worth meeting is “The One”, skip all the rest
My 1,2, and 3 was the same person. Came into my life in my early 20’s. Never had a 4 and still waiting on 5. This was great. Im in my mid 30’s now but Im keeping hope alive.
Guess I’ve already met my number 1 and 2. Felt like you had me in mind when you were writing bout 1 and 2. Super spot-on 🙂
Wonderful words – Thank you!
A very good read! I got teary eyes while reading this. I’d somehow remember a guy on each item… very accurate. Still waiting for ‘the one’ too! I am just too scared now to make another wrong choice in love. I think I can’t bear another heartache. Cheers though! Keep writing and inspiring many people! 🙂
Nice! So true!
This made me tear up as I can place a few guys in my life to the 5 but not sure where my recent guy fits. Our relationship ended 4 months ago at his hand and I thought he was the one. I’ve never loved another the way I love him but I don’t know the man he has become. I now hope that “the one ” shows up in 2014. I enjoy your posts.
Hi! A very romantic post. 😀 And quite insightful. I just wanna share something I wrote before, http://cjdesilva.com/the-3-kinds-of-guys-you-will-meet-in-your-life/ — something a little close to your topic but I think I was a little more cynical. 😛
I met the “love of my life” at work quite unexpectedly. I was in my late twenties. He persisted til I went out with him. I remember being very difficult to convince since I didn’t think dating a fellow employee was the best idea. Gradually, the chemistry between us grew and we fell in love. After dating for a couple of years, I became marriage-minded. Due to cultural differences (his family would never accept me), the love returned to friendship which it started out being. He’s presently married to woman that was culturally acceptable with the same name as mine (irony?) I don’t regret giving in. While it lasted it was wonderful and he’ll always have a part of my heart. He came into my life for a reason and left for a reason. Only God has the answer.
Unfortunately I’m a guy in a very similar situation as you were in. She was a family friend and it just came out of nowhere. But I don’t meet what her cultured family expects in a husband for her, so that pretty much sealed our fates together. Now we’re just trying to accept that.
Wow…. This was very nicely said. As I reflected on my experiences with these “types” I am able to see how blessed I have been to know love in several different forms. So thanks again for helping to positively alter my perspective.
For me it was always the one I wish I had that was always dating someone else prettier and more popular than me. I was one of those plain-looking, shy girls who never dated much. I always used to think—those guys date those beautiful, shallow, materialistic girls so they have a trophy on their arm. I was very naive and married the first guy who asked. Turned out to be my worst nightmare. He lied to me from day 1. Used and abused me, etc, etc. Been divorced 10 years and never had the desire to date again. He had ruined the idea of marriage for me. Destroyed my ability to ever trust again. But….when I least expected it, the most wonderful man entered my life about 3 years ago and broke down the walls. Not all of them, but most of them. I still have that little bit of mistrust. I think it’s a protection thing. Like I should never totally trust anyone ever again. It may come down in time, or it may not. I’m just thankful for the wonderful man in my life.
What about the rare loved, lost, love again man? It happens. I didn’t expect it to happen to me. I lost him for. 3 years after being married for 20. We are talking again and it’s like coming home.
me too!
As i read the first one, i was taken aback. You describe your first love as someone who is supposed to show you how it is or how it should be in a relationship. Unfortunately for me, I think i’ve combined the bad boy and my first love. This is a mistake with massive consequences. I now have no clue what a relationship should be like. I feel like it’s a big part of why i’m single now (31 years old). The others I recognize as well. And i like the way you phrase what “The One’ should be like. I have a hard time believing it will ever be true for me though. I am dating though, to see what’s out there, and what i would like 🙂 Thanks for sharing your views. I have yet a lot to learn 😉
This is perfect. Everything in here is what I am going through at this time of my life. I think I am only in my number 2 guy, though I hope that it will end there. (I still have my number 1 though) But fingers-crossed, I hope everything will end great. Thanyou so much for this. It’s a great help. Thankyou 🙂
Right on! I’m grateful to be married to “The One” and that my dating days are over!
I think i had the first four. I will enthusiastically and optimistically wait for mr. number 5. I just met this year my number 4. it sure helped me realize so many things about myself. it sounds so cliche but its the truth. It was a roller coaster 2013. but now that i am looking forward to 2014, i just am thankful that i met them… that i met him… that i got hurt but will soon heal. it is quite a process. lol.
Oh my gosh. This is perfect for me right now. It made me cry. 🙁
Thank you so much. Thank you. So. Much. <3
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I got married early, so I’m married to #1. In reality, he is more of “the Friend” – he is great, we are good together, I love and care for him so much but why will I meet #2 and #4 while we are still married? That is when I realized that he is not #5.
Trixie, take it from someone who has felt what you’re feeling and went down the road you seem to be contemplating going down–it is NOT worth it! Turn #1 into #5 and yes, it CAN be done!
Michelle,
I know it can be done. I’ve been married with my first love for 10 yrs. He asked for a divorce 7 yrs ago when I told him that I met the guy who could have been. I was emotionally involved with #2 but cut it off before it get physical and as a wife, I have to tell him the truth . He made me believe that I’m at fault so I worked extra hard on pleasing him, losing my self respect. Last year, I found out that he has been unfaithful to me over these years (he had sexual relations with two different women) and when confronted he still brings that I’ve fallen for someone before. Whether I stay or get out of this marriage, I’m always seen as the bad person.
well i guess im on the 4th stage. The One that Got Away. I had my first love when i was in high school. I was so inlove with him and he taught me everything. The The One That Could Have Been and the Bad boy, i met him a year ago. I experienced everything with him. I’m the happiest person when i’m with him and at the same time, because he’s a bad boy, I cried a lot. We broken up. Few Months ago, there’s this guy “The One that Got Away” that is really willing to wait for me. He does everything for me. He makes sure that i’ll be happy. He’s a good boy and everything that’s “good”, he got it. But im not really sure about my feelings. It’s like, im really sure that he’ll take good care of me even if we’re married. But, my feelings are not sure if i truly love him.. I guess im still looking for that “the one” and hoping someday that i’ll be happy…..
this is so true. I can relate OMG! Seriously, I enjoyed reading your post. Speechless here 🙂
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beautifully put as always.
Have to say, you nailed The One That Could Have Been. I currently have a boyfriend now, but whenever I think of that guy from before, I kept on asking myself ‘what could’ve happened if the timing was right’ to be honest, I still kinda can’t get over it. I don’t know, it seemed perfect you know, the timing’s just off.
Well, actually, there is also the believe that there’s not only one person for every one of us. But if “The One” actually exists, he’s nothing you think he is. He’s just a guy, someone who catches you off guard and makes you trip into love for him. He will probably outshine everyone you’ve loved before without even trying. Or he won’t. But, either way, he will help you grow and you will love him. And that’s all that matters.
I was married to #3 and #4 for 17 years before realizing we were both miserable. its been 1.5 years since I moved out and we are divorced now. He can’t get over the fact that I left and have moved on to who I think might be #5. Sigh. Whew. living through these numbers is tough work. 😀
aw. like you’ve read my mind.
My almost 3 year crush sent me this link for me to read. What to feel? 🙁 🙂
Very interesting! You should ask him which one he thinks he is to you! 😉
True 🙂
I just had let go of my ‘The One That Got Away’. I wonder when ‘The One’ will show off really.
They forgot to add the guy that’s a great fit for you, but you overlook him.
See “The One.” He is, in my opinion, the one that’s a great fit. I haven’t met mine yet, but I believe he’s out there. 🙂
The perfect description to the journey of singlehood! This is the longest I’ve been and I see all the stages except for 5… It is not an easy ride for some of us but we will get there! Hopeful! Happy new year girls!
wow i just turned 18 seems everything you just said is so trueee.
Nice article written their with the cute design which makes it so attractive to readers. 🙂
This brought a smile to my face. I was able to immediately identify my 1, 2, and 3. Will probably never be ready for number 4 and can only hope that number 5’s exist out there for everyone.
I’m still getting over my number 2 :'(
It took me 3 yrs to get over my #2. I still think of him from time to time, wandering how he is, but no longer hopeful that there’ll be a chance that we can be together in this lifetime .
Thanks so much for sharing this!!! Dealing with walking away from a combo of 2&3 and wondering when it will stop hurting and when “the one” will show up.
You and me both Sister, you and me both.
I believe that “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” So all the guys we/ve met I’ve met back then, all the past relationships whether good or bad has molded me in certain ways or have just left me with memories I’ll be cherishing for the rest of life. MIstakes, broken heart, happy times – they we’re my teachers in life.. And this article , the kind of guys mentioned here really made me smile coz I can really relate since I’ve encountered them… Well, some of them, except number 5 , still is a mystery .. have I met him already or maybe not yet? Oh well, only life can reveal who and where he is 🙂
Wow. So very true. In the wake of a divorce I can identify with having now met #1-#4. Maybe #5 is out there somewhere, we can only hope. I do know this- if I earnestly look for him I will never find him. I’ll enjoy being single and maybe when i’m not looking #5 will find me 🙂
1. Regan
2. Kevin
3. Sasha
4. Aaron
5. Joshua
I am 51. Married the love of my life at 25, he died 4 years later right after the birth of our only child, a son.. I remarried 5 years after (DEA agent bad boy cop). That lasted 1.5 years – I divorced him because he was a control freak & abusive. 7 years later started dating my 1st husband’s close friend. 6 months later he talked me into a whirlwind Justice of the Peace marriage but I quickly realized I made a mistake (he never wanted to accept my son) and got divorced 4 mos. later as I could not put my son thru the blended family torment. We dated on and off after that for 9 years – kept our kids out of it. I tried internet dating and that was a disaster. I’m leaving it up to fate. I’ve had the love of my life, the bad boy … #3 was just a narcisstic ass… hoping I get another chance one day for love with a decent guy – if not, I will live happily single!
This is just so great! I’m on my moving on process with number 3. I’m not sure whether he’s also my number 2 but he often told me that i was his soulmate. But doesn’t matter anymore, I just need to have faith again that true love exist after this failed relationship. Though I hope I’ll skip number 4 because hurting and moving on process are not very easy. I don’t want to get through the same experience again. Thank you for sharing this article! Really helpful. Gives hope and insight to what women are going through! Gonna read your other articles. 🙂
[…] Here’s the article: The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Lives » The Single Woman – Single is the New Fabulous! Here’s the link: https://mandyhale.com/2013/12/31/the-five-guys-most-girls-will-love-at-some-point-in-their-lives… […]
Done with 1-2-3-4 and I’m happy to share that those 1-2-3-4 prepared me for my number 5. And true enough, when you meet the one, you just know that it’s time for your forever happiness and start from there. What a great article!
[…] https://mandyhale.com/2013/12/31/the-five-guys-most-girls-will-love-at-some-point-in-their-lives… […]
Every number I read reminds me of someone and was teary eyed on the one that got away.
Maybe, really at some point in our lives we have met these persons and learn in one way or another.
Perfect. True for both genders.
Hi! Is your book also for sale in bookstores? 🙂 i love your blog!! ❤
Yes, at all major bookstores! Or order it here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Single-Woman-Life-Love/dp/1400322316 🙂
I married #1 when I was young. We were married for 21 years and then I had an affair with #3 that ended my marriage. That relationship quickly turned abusive and I quickly got out. I have since dated several #2’s and #4’s but now I KNOW that #1 is #5. We are friends again and that’s a start…God is a God of restoration!
What if 1-4 is just 1 guy. Married the one i thought was the one but turned out to b a 3. *sigh* life!
Does that mean my 1-4 is also my 5? Too old to date…. Too late at that, im already married and trying to work it out…
I enjoyed reading the different types of guys girls go through. I too, have been there. In my middle years, do I dare to dream of another meant to be? I can only wait and see.
thank you very much for these i really feel there is hope for both of us 🙂
Super nice.. Relate :)))
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The Cory to my Tapanga. The Dawson to my Joey. Love it. Sometimes I believe there is no “The One” . It seems like all the guys I’m interested in are out of my league. I wish I could have things together better or was as pretty as the girls they hang out with. They just walk past me and look the other way. Just like in high school and college. I don’t know what to do.
Please wait for ‘The One’ forever. Cos eventually any other ones who come, you’ll find some reason to categorise him to the first 4. You forgot you are the other half of the relationship and that with the right mindset you also control how well it goes. No matter how perfect he is, if you insist in finding some reason to deny, then you can never find ‘The One’. So good luck to you waiting forever. And stop watching so much movies.
Edward, I couldn’t agree more. Everyone can be categorized in 1-4 if you don’t have the right mindset. Hollywood has convinced us that everyone will eventually meet Mr. or Ms. Perfect. The real world doesn’t seem to line up.
I passed through the first and it lasted 7 years. Then i went through the second for 3 years. The third messed me up so bad I had to uproot from where i was and move back home to lick my wounds and the 4th one broke my heart when he left without even so much as a goodbye and yet i still miss him at times. Now its been like 3 years since I’ve been involved with anyone. Let’s just hope No. 5 comes by soon cause i’m tired of the games and heartache and the waiting and after the last 4 i don’t even know if i’ll be able to allow myself to be that vulnerable all over again. As Christina Perri sings….”i’m Only Human”
Adeline, I completely know what you’re talking about. Keep your heart open & ready to give it to “The One” – after all, if anyone deserves it, it’s him – right?! Sending you luck in finding your love. xo
i wonder what are the 5 girls that boys will love…
Thank you and thank you… the description of The One person fits in all kinds… thank you and thank you… 🙂
It’s a very cute read. 🙂 It makes you look back and remember all those people who left and you have left. It makes you think who was whom. And it makes you smile in the end.
Im 16! This post totally made me look forward to my future relationships and prep me for them! Thanks for thia lovely post that made me feel all fuzzywoozy to start sparks in my love life! ♡
I don’t think that it will necessarily be in that order; I think that my ex boyfriend (who is also the only one I’ve ever dated) was the one that got away. Still, more than a year after our break-up, I wonder if he was really the one. But I did need time when we were together. I didn’t feel ready for the commitment he seemed to want. I was scared to be honest. So THANK YOU, this helped me a lot. Thank you thank you thank you. I have been afraid of never finding someone like him – or someone better.
Thank you, that was much needed for a 23 year old young lady who obviously has a lot more living and learning to do as well as patiently wait for “The One”
Nowhere in there you see “The Best Friend”. I was so hoping to see that one.
The best friend is always the best one. That’s what I finally figured out.
Starting a romantic relationship with your “Best Friend” is risky. If it works, it’s great. If it doesn’t, will the friendship be sacrificed? You’re in the same circle of friends so some will take sides, dividing a solid group. Even if you ended up in good terms (just realized you aren’t just meant for each other), there’s certain dynamic that’s going to be awkward no matter what.
Wow, I really needed this confirmation to make a decision on a current relationship I’m in, he’s #4, I’ve been praying to God to show me a sign as to whether I’m making a right decision to leave him.
This is beautifully written. So true. Love it & I agree with this totally! The One for me have not arrived yet. But I know he will soon =)
This article is beautifully written! So true. Love it & I agree totally!
I have not met “The One” yet & I am sure I will meet him soon =)
It took me too long to figure out that my 2/4 was really my “one”. He loved me in a way no one else ever has. He loved me for who I was with all my flaws and looked at me like I was tge only woman in the world, exactly how is always hoped and dreamed someone would. I kept pushing him away for a total jerk for a long time but he was always there for me. He thought he was too perfect or too right… I pushed him away in fear that if he really knew me he would leave me one day. My insecurities cost me something that could have been amazing. Eventually I meet someone that I thought was that mixture described in 5. We’ve been together a while and all the good has disappeared. I still see 2/4 from time to time. He is still close with my family and see him at my sister’s get togethers with his wife and child. I see the life I passed up on. I’ve never gotten over him. I had numerous chances to change things in the past before he met his wife and wish I would have taken them. I knew before he got married that he still loved me as he always had, but finally got tired of waiting on me to come back and he had to move on even if he never truly gotten over me. We generally don’t talk much when we are around one another because our past is no secret. We shared a dance at my niece’s wedding. He looked at me the same as he always did. I could see the love and care in his eyes. He ‘s a good man, and even if I wanted to tell him how sorry I was and how much I cared and wish I could change the decisions I made… He would never split up his family even if he thought he would be happier with me. He and my sister are still best friends. I know from time to time he still asks how I am doing and she can see that there is still a pieceoif his heart that belongs to me. My insecurities and fears cost me my “One” and his chance off loving someone completely as he did me.
Sorry to listen ur story as it matches exactly with me.My 4 have been suffering from cancer due to which he cant be my 5.But i am still in love with him.Don’t know whether i will be able to love anyone throughout my whole life.
I so respect that you are not talking about breaking up a family.. and I pray that he IS as happy with his wife as he would have been with you, or his wife is getting cheated!
And sometimes “the one” is that guy who was your bestfriend and your support through all of the other loves.
I haven’t met him yet but you definitely put my dating and relationship life in perspective. Thank u but the fact remains, I’m willing to wait on that special guy that I know God has designed and purposed just for me!!!
I’m 22. and looking forward to meet #1…. #2… #3… #4… #5 🙂
[…] https://mandyhale.com/2013/12/31/the-five-guys-most-girls-will-love-at-some-point-in-their-lives… […]
This is exactly what had happened to me. I’d met my first love. I’ve met my soulmate known as ‘The One That Could Have Been (But the Timing Was Always Off)’ because he is in a relationship but he is still there for me when I need him. I’d been in a relationship with a bad boy. Then I jumped to a very good relationship with ‘The one that got away’. I felt something is not right and decided to set him free. Now, I have yet to meet ‘The One’.
Awesome! Beautifully written and it mirrors what I’ve been through to a “T”….even down to “The One”. I’ve found him, or better yet, he found me and I’m so glad he was my destination. Thank you for this…it was a wonderful read. Blessings!
🙂 This is definitely what I need now… Having let go of the One Who Got Away and currently in the process of moving on from an unrequited love from my “The One Who Could Have Been”. I’m currently feeling a bit lost and all over the place but your post gave me hope that “The One” is out there and that he is what I really need since God personally hand-picked him for me. 🙂 Thank you.
[…] https://mandyhale.com/2013/12/31/the-five-guys-most-girls-will-love-at-some-point-in-their-lives… […]
I met all the guys described above. Now, I’m happy with ” The One.” I’ve had a rough and tough life. But, I can’t be happier now. God is amazing!
The One that got away had me at a loss of breath reading each word. Over whelming but relieving to hear…thank you.
You wrote exactly what I needed to read, just when I needed to read it. Thank you for a great post.
Wow Mandy,you just wrote a story about my life,I am 23 and a lawyer and I have had the The First Love, The One That Could Have Been, The Bad Boy, The One That Got Away….all four…but I have not seen “The One”,thank you for sharing this,for giving me hope…God bless you
I have dated 1 to 4. Waiting patiently for number 5 while relishing being 30 something, financially and professionally stable and single. Your words provide comfort and much needed reassurance.
Wow..Loved it. On March 31, 2007 at 29 years old and many many relationships. I am so proud to say that I have met that ONE, omg, omg, omg seriously after seven years, we each still get the butterflies in the tummy ordeal. I have never felt a love like this and you have to know how wonderful a feeling it is. I wish that each and every one of you commenting that has not found that true love, I wish that you find it. Nothing is a greater feeling. Broke, in a cardboard box I would be just as happy because with him and I together we can make that box into a home and be just as happy in love. Loved your article, Bless you all with Love Ladies…
Your post just made my day. Thank you!
Just what I needed!! Perfect!
I love that you mention in the first one that sometimes that is where the road ends and that’s ok. I think especially in today’s society, some of these heart breaks happen much sooner. I met my best friend the first day of school when we were 15. I was still getting over a long and drawn out break up that I should have just walked away from, but couldn’t and then jumped into a relationship with a guy I hardly knew. He was sweet and really cared about me but there was no chemistry and he didn’t make me a better version of myself. Over a year after meeting my current man and I finally decided to give it a shot after the friendship went that direction anyway, and now we are still happily together and almost done with college. Things have definitely been rough, but we have challenged each other to be better and do better, and reading that description of number 5 was like reading a description of him. But we know we’re young and we aren’t in a rush; we’ll be together tomorrow and next year and five years from now, so when the time is right we’ll get married, but until then, I’m so sure he’s the one that I don’t have to tie the knot right now, and I’m so blessed to have found this man so early in life.
Well, I found my “One” and you will, too, when the time is right. But know, the “One” is not a combination of the first four listed. The “One” is the “One” because you accept him for everything he is and everything he is not. His characteristics do not make him the “One;” YOU do.
Is it true that sometimes the one is normally rte there all along. And is it true that the one who u talk was the one. Cud potentially be the one can someone answer my comments plz
Sometimes “The One That Could Have Been” comes back around and becomes “The One”. Mine did. 🙂 It only took ten agonizing years . . . I was a teenager and did not take waiting well. But the waiting paid off; God’s Fingerprints are all over our story. I think God’s Fingerprints must be all over everyone’s story, in every moment, if only we look for them.
Great post!
i hope my the one that could have been
becomes the one,it’s six years now and i can’t get him off my mind
So true
All I can say thank you in putting my feeling into words!
Enlightening..♥
Beautifully said & SO on point. I’m glad I found this blog. I look forward to reading more.
My ONE <3 waitin 4 yewww 🙂
Amazing! at. 41 I’ve meet #1-#4 I’ve been married twice my first husband was my highschool sweet heart. 2 wonderful kid’s later him and i still best of friends. marriage #2. My bad boy. Which it still hurts today. as for #3 &4. It was a lesson. being single isn’t a bad thing,i love my life I’m looking & waiting for my #5.. thank you. i loved reading all the post. good luck ladies. our #5. Are out there.. <3. 🙂
Omg!! I love love loved this!! I have had just one BF since I was 17 (The first love) we are both now 27 and just broke up 6 months ago. After reading this I can only believe that there is still somebody out there for me! Thank you!
Well I already had the fifth guy he was the first love and the one that got away. He was the best kiss had. I thought he was the one. The other four I have talk to. The first one rte out of high school was my first crush but I was the side chick. The other was controlling always like him more as a friend. The third one I was not really myself around him. The fourth was a bad boy and I was lil older than him to. But he brought a different side of me a confuse. Now am moving on to the next one who would be the sixth one and I hope he is the one <3
Im 21 and never had a bf. And it always hurts my feelings. I wud love to meet the one
While reading, it tale me back to my previous relationship. I’ve met The First Love, The One That Could Have Been, The Bad Boy, The One That Got Away. Each of them left a mark on my heart. #2 just recently left me and made me miserable. I dont want to feel the pain again and again. It’s too much to bear and handle loneliness and sadness. I’m hoping that in time I will be able to fully accept why all of these has to happen. I hope someday The One will come at the most perfect right time.
I know what you’re going through – the same happened to me. There will come a time when you can fully accept what has happened and see your ex much differently than you do now. Just always remember: Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now. “The One” will come into your life in perfect timing.
It’s funny how I thought my husband was a bit of each one of these before I got to 5. I had always thought he was “the one” just now sometimes I’m not too sure…only time will tell.
Make sure there is a friendship there.. spend time talking about everything under the rainbow… if you can do this and enjoy it, then he is the one!
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Thank you for your insight! I am about to be 35, gone through 2 failed marriages, and my one that I let get away, that I thought loved me didn’t love me at all! Still single, and happy! Would I like to find the one God made for me, sure, but all in HIS time! No rushing here!
I’ve never been “in Love” I’ve always wanted to be…I’m starting to believe “the one” doesn’t exist for me.
I love it and will definitely repost to my friends and family I’m only 26 and I’ve had enough of men of course like most women I want “The One” I’m in the process of loving me unconditionally and getting to know God and I know He will send “The One” to me in His own timing #Ijustgottabelieve till then I’m the #Heartless chick as my friends say #Godislove thank you #SingleWoman
ha what about the ‘one that completely ruins you when they leave you’ guy sadly I’ve just experienced that
I could not agree more with all the different loves. I am in my early 30s and I have had every single one, from the first live to the bad boy to the one that got away. I gave up on love for a bit, thinking maybe it was just not going to happen for me. Thats when my ONE came into my life. He is a distant friend I met over 13 years ago. We never was extremely close but kept in touch every few years. He is a complete mixture of all my past loves but something completely new at the same time. He is everything I could have hoped for and we fall more in love every day. Every body has their ONE, their life partner, you just have to believe he will come when the time is right. I am so thankful for something I thought I would never have. Keep faith friends. Anything is possible.
I found, and married “the one”, and just wanted to share my experience. Since my “one that got away”, I haven’t believed in “true love”, and dismissed it as childish ways/thinking. I even went back through my “list” and recontacted the men and started dating them again, just to make sure. That ended in a dead end for me, and I realized afterwards that I had never been in love with them; the feelings I had as a teen, or in my early 20s didn’t last, so it couldn’t have been real.
I met the man who is “the one” at the worst possible time, a time that I was absolutely not ready for a relationship. The first day I spent with him, was the most relaxing and comfortable thing I had ever experienced. I craved being around him. Beyond the timing, the downfall was that he called me out, like no other man ever had before. Not in a rude or negative way, or even in a way that he knew he was doing it, but he was able to point out things that I knew I needed to change; He made me see other sides of the coin. He made me venerable, even though I hated that feeling, I craved it. I decided to let myself go, I got completely lost in him, and for the first time I believed in true love. His needs were more important than mine, and “love it patient, love is kind….” Finally made sense. I mentioned in the beginning how I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and frankly neither was he. We weren’t prepared to spend our lives together like God had planned for us. We broke up 5 or 6 times, and I felt like a dramatic high school girl, and hated it, but I fought to be with him, and to prove that I wasn’t like every other girl, and I wasn’t faking it. We had both been through a lot in our lives, but still wanted to fight to be together, to make each other happy and prove things to one another and we still feel this way.
I thought I had found “the one” when I turned 52……I still believe, in my heart, that he was all 5 of these rolled into one. He said he just didn’t love me anymore after 2 years. My heart is broken and I believe it will be a VERY LONG TIME before I even think about looking again. Your posts bring hope that I will be able to overcome this horrible pain…..thank you Mandy!
Dead on right!! You hit the bullseye with this one….I’ve experienced them all!
This is all so true, i’ve been waiting to find an author or someone who speaks true and freely about celebrating the single life. I have had such a connection with this blog, the facebook page, and the book itself. So thankful i discovered this. I can relate to so many of these things! <3
Ive met them all i think getting in any relationship ryt nw wont wrk for so God pls help me cos i cnt stop da habit of flirting
Thank you! This was so spot on and made me relive each memory and pray that the one will come how you have described. It honestly makes me sick too, the memories are still tough to remember and I’m still worried that I let the one get away…only God knows. Thank you, you have a new follower! 🙂
There’s one major guy missing and you know it:
#6 – The Gay One that eventually becomes your best friend. Will & Grace aren’t the only two this worked out for.
I think this is beautifully written. As a guy, I wonder if there is a guy-friendly version of this list, with 5 girls most guys will probably date. I feel the same frustration with relationships, and would love to see a guy’s point of view.
For me the last 2 are the same person! Broke up because I was not ready yet. He came back into my life a year later and I was where I needed to be. We still loved each other deeply and we are now married!! <3
[…] interesting article has been circulating on Facebook recently. The article, The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Lives, really got me thinking about my own love life and relationship history. It’s almost scary […]
I couldn’t agree more. #3- freakishly spot on to my life right now. I’m 24 years old, and preparing for #5, I guess. I’m a believer, #5 is on his way. 🙂 <3
Stop trying to analyse the perfect ‘soulmate.’
I believe dating those kind of people can apply to girls and boys, but also friendships as well as partners.
Key is patience, love and tolerance. When we all embrace these characteristics and use them towards both men and women, then we will be able to live together easier and tolerate what we consider someones so called imperfections. More often than not, when you enter into a relationship rather than friendship, you often demand more from that second person. If you are both open and honest and you take time to get to know a person first and are prepared to make a compromise, then it has potential to grow. Out of desire, comes respect.
Very nice you describe it right..
I just have to repost this!!!! You’ve taken all the exact words from my mouth. Thank you for this.
Beautiful it left me speechless. So many people say that the one will be perfect. But I know for a fact that that is not true, He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for me. I’ve only loved one man but I’ve cared for many and I know that it will be worth it. Thank You for your encouragement to me and so many other women choosing walking down the road of singleness.
[…] on Facebook right now (not that you’d know, since you tore yours down) is an article entitled “The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Lives” by Mandy Hale. I found this rather intriguing because the writer attempted to put a label on a […]
How unbelievably relevant this is for me. Whilst reading each of your description of these 5 guys, 5 loves come to mind. Only I hope that the One that got away become just the One….
Thank you so much for this! It’s such an encouragement that maybe (just maybe) I could be close to the finish line because I think I’ve met all of those guys but The One. So maybe God will work a miracle and bring us together this year or the next. Who knows? God is amazing and so much bigger than we can understand. He works in mysterious ways. Many blessings upon you, Mandy! Please continue to encourage all of us who are going through this same journey with you.
WOW! I feel like I wrote this. You hit the nail on the head. I enjoyed reading your book in two days! It was so worth the read and so different from all the “other” books. I feel like I wrote it too. I am Single, 40, never married, and no kids. I love my life where I am and I live each day to the fullest. I know God has great plans for me. Thank you for the book and your blog! Its awesome!!! Waiting patiently for my #5 😉
True ! I am still waiting for The One 🙂
I just love this article! I just recently came across a video called The Last on YouTube by Wong Fu Productions. If you loved this article you’ll definitely love this video.
Wow well said!!!
What a great list…Thank you for writing this. It’s so accurate, it’s incredible.
Thank you for this list. I have had a break up two months ago that is really taking a hard time getting over. He is two of the guys on the list. I am trying to cope but im just shocked he was like this. I dont know what to believe
Okay, this article bothers me. Yes, it’s accurate, well written, and something that most or all of us can relate to or desire. But HELLO! Do you not know that the ONE is already here? He came to earth, lived life as a man, died for us, was resurrected, and returned to heaven to sit at the right hand of his father. Yes, I’m talking about Jesus. We women spend so much time looking for love in the wrong places. Men and relationships will never satisfy us the way that the Redeemer does! In Him we are complete, we are empowered, cherished, beloved, and pursued. No man on earth will ever do that for us the way Jesus does. Am I bashing relationships? No. Being in a relationship is wonderful, especially when both parties love and respect each other.
We will never be fulfilled the way that God fulfills us. He is the ONE for us. Until we are content with ourselves and with Him, we are simply looking for the wrong things to complete us.
Jesus is at the center of everything that I do. He is the inspiration for everything that I write, including this blog. You don’t have to slap a “Christian” label on everything and every blog to see God shining at the center of it. God wants to shine through everything we do in every forum – art, music, books, whatever. The fact that I have loved human beings at different times in my life does not take away from my love for God. The fruit of my life and my ministry speaks to that. But God also CREATED us to be in relationships. It’s biblical. And He created love. And companionship. And kisses. And butterflies in our stomach. And hands to be held by another’s. So do I think He takes offense to be writing from an inspired place about love? No. I think He delights in it.
Also, see https://mandyhale.com/2014/01/12/why-im-choosing-to-get-uncomfortable-this-year/.
Kristi,
And God put man and woman on this earth to love, marry and produce children. So I find a little bit wrong with YOUR statement! He did not intend for us to sit and wait to die to finally find happiness and love in our lives. A woman will not have a child, without a man and God kinda frowns on women sleeping with strangers to produce a child.. your view point in very skewed as far as I can see.
I do agree that God is supposed to be the fist love of all, then, family and friends.. but, God does intend for us to find our lifemates!
Sigh. You always have to toss your “God” in there. A strong woman doesn’t need to lean on fairy tales or sky daddies.
A strong woman also doesn’t attack another woman for her faith beliefs. God is at the center of everything that I do and He is the reason I have a blog at all, or any success in life whatsoever….so I will continue to mention Him, because without Him I am nothing. I will not apologize for that. This is my message, take it or leave it. But I would encourage you to practice a little more tolerance and acceptance. I respect your right to NOT believe…so please consider respecting mine to believe.
Well sorry to disappoint you Ladies and Gentlemen but all of this seems Very Familiar…. a Group of guys Called WungFu Productions already made a Video like this. Which in my opinion is better. I’m a guy. But seriously I didn’t like this Rip-Off Blog.. No Hard Feelings. But if you wanna check out the video ill post a linkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvxHPtEsmFc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Later
This is NOT a “rip-off blog.” I wrote this blog from my heart, based on my own experiences, and every guy listed here is someone I have loved. I have been shown the WungFu video and I absolutely loved it, but it has nothing to do with my blog. People can have similar experiences in life, Joe. That doesn’t make one a thief b/c they’ve also loved five people in their life. If you read my blog and watch the video, you will see that there is really no similarity at all beyond the fact that there are five people mentioned. I write from an honest, pure place…and if you took a second to look through my website and read about me and my message, you would know that. A true writer and creator does not steal ideas from other people. That’s not who I am. I didn’t get as far as I have gotten in my career by stealing other people’s work. This blog was written based on my personal experiences, so there’s no humanly way I could have “ripped off” anyone, b/c no one else has lived my life.
SO GOOD and true it made me cried Mandy. I can remember the 1 to 4… and I am waiting for no. 5 to appear when both of us are ready. 🙂 We’ll all eventually meet THE ONE. Thank you Mandy!!!!!!
Amazingly written. So perfectly put down and so true.
wow,you really nailed it.so how do i know that he is really ‘THE ONE’?
If this was the day of the traditional family, I would say that you missed one girls love… Back in the day, when families were complete with Mother’s and Father’s a little girl’s first love was her Daddy. Mine was and I searched and made so many mistakes attempting to find someone that was somewhat like my Daddy.. like I said, so many mistakes, but I met my ONE when I was 43… we married when I was 47, right before my Daddy passed away. My Daddy never liked any of the men that I had in my life, but he LOVED the ONE that I am with now. My husband is everything to me, my best friend, my love, my everything!
A friend of mine sent me a link to your blog yesterday and I immediately subscribed to it. You say everything I’m feeling but just can’t put into words and not only that you really nice, by replying to some peoples comments. You the touch of ABUNDANCE I’m in search for this year and GOD”S little packaged gift for a more fulfilling life. I just want to thank you in advance, as I continue to read back to all your past blog entries… signed a chick in South Africa : )
So so good to read this. I just broke up with my one that got away and it’s been very difficult. I just felt God pressing for something bigger and that I need to trust his purpose. Thanks for your encouraging words.
So true in my case.. And now, I’m already with “The One”, my hubby! Exactly, he is really my 5th serious bf.. hehe.. 🙂 nice blog!
The One That Could Have Been (But the Timing Was Always Off)….relate much on this! 🙁
I have met these kinds of people before… even the one mentioned in no.5..someone like a combination of those people.. i asked for signs and those were positive signs telling me that he’s the one… yet i’m still waiting for the answer to the last sign i asked (to know if he’s really the one). hoping that he’s really the one!!
he’s also my 5th bf…
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[…] week I read a blog called The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Lives and it really got me thinking. I also read a Letter to My Future Husband and combined they were […]
[…] week I read a blog called The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love at Some Point in Their Lives and it really got me thinking. I also read a Letter to My Future Husband and combined they were […]
[…] If you want to read the original article, Click here. […]
Ok my # 1, is my # 5 🙂
havent met the one yet. *sigh* but im excited to meet him 🙂 have met 1, 2, and 3. hhahaha
[…] https://mandyhale.com/2013/12/31/the-five-guys-most-girls-will-love-at-some-point-in-their-lives… […]
really hope that the one that could have been becomes the one,it’s six years now and still can’t get him off my mind
My first love is in all four of those caragories. byt I need a way to get him back. I need him
This post is spot-on. Its honest and heart-felt, and comforting because it makes you realize they’re so many souls who feel the way that you do. Mandy, forget the critic s and the naysayers, and keep writing with all your heart. 🙂
Good luck
This was a wonderful read, I definitely cried when I got to “The one that got away”, as it compleatly discribed my last relationship. I feel better in knowing that this was a sign for me to be alone for a while, find myself and become ready for “The one”. 🙂
I am no more on my tweenties and I need the love to give and get as much as I can.I am welling to do what it wants meaning what can make me a woman I am ready to crab it.As far as honesty is my number one priority.There is no other life I am expecting and thank you for your advice and I need the trust to be mutual for long term or ever lasting relationship.
Thank u so much u really made me understand love in a different way I was always sad an breaking down when a boy leaves me but nw I undertsand it so perfectly thank u so much u doing a great job!!!!!!!!
Someone has someone on their mind while reading every type of guy 😀
I have never read anything so true in my life. I have had everyone of those (maybe in a different order) but every one none the less. I was lucky enough to find “The One” only took me 30 years 🙂 Thank you for sharing!!!
i only found the first love and the one…
i am soo lucky to have found the man i love.. he is amazing… not perfect but he tries…
love you baby
I can mostly relate to No.2. It hits me the most. It’s such a heartache. The almost thing. The one that could have been. I have been more attached to this lately than any of the others mentioned. I just met this guy back, and when he’s back, he already has a girlfriend. He was sticking around for some time before. I just couldn’t figure it out. It was like – right in front of your eyes thing. I didn’t get it, maybe because he is a little younger than me. I guess it was a little too late to realize. What a prize to pay. Now, I am looking for #5. I have bookmarked this page, btw, so I could check out all of your other writings. I love this one.
God. *crying*speechless. My God will bless u for dis wonderful post
the five guys most girls will…….so truee…m lukin for the one who who vll be ma last love n vll replace everyone…..feelin relax after readin dz…tyy…
I thought this was a very moving post and I really want to believe that it’s true. I seem to keep meeting really nice boys but at the wrong time, just when either they or I are about to move away and start a new stage of our lives. I really hope that at some point the timing will be right and I’ll find the one. It really hurts to let go of the ones who could have been.
I cannot tell you how happy I am and how I feel so blessed stumbling upon this! Thank you so much! You are pure genius!
I needed this just after releasing my perfect man I am still not ready to have. I hope I did not release the One accidentally.
And the worst part (for me) is, #s 1 to 5 is the same guy: The one who got away and will never be mine.
I’ve missed #4 my whole adult life & never really wanted anyone else. Married to second husband who is a great friend, but I don’t have enough physical attraction to him. Yeah, I knew there was some, but not enough when we married, but I made the choice anyway – for a good companion instead. Saw #4 again after all these years, & the spark is still there on both sides. But we’re both married & live in different cities. And neither wanting to cheat. Had we reconnected again when we were single, we’ve agreed we’d be together for sure. Yes, I’ve gotten to know him, & yes, we’ve both changed. But the bond is still there. No amount of time could erase that connection. The lesson here is…don’t just miss someone for 35 years. If he’s #4, stay in touch occasionally, because one day, the time WILL be right. And you’ll know he was The One all along. Learn from my sad story – don’t get old & still have your heart aching for him.
This is absolutely beautiful. I want to believe in destiny and the idea of “the one”. This is really what I need to read right now;)❤️
one day u will meat him and u will never let go of him
right
Ive met all of those except “the one”. Ive been through a lot of heartbreak and especially with the one that couldve been but the bad boy tought me a lesson and in a way im glad that i fell 4 him at that point in my life.
Plz teach about the five guys girls keep ignoring at some points of their life!!
I’ve had a first love .and one that wasn’t meant to be, then a bad boy turned one that got away and then. Another bad boy :/ I don’t think I’ll ever find the one but I’m realizing that’s ok as long as I keep my head up and still love 🙂
I was married for 8years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about Prophet Osaze from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Prophet Osaze for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address:”spirituallove @ hotmail. com”
#3…took my heart at 23….i just left him taking our 3 kids at 31…man you are so on point w these descriptions…made me feel sad…
Greetings! I’ve been following your website for some time now and finally got the
courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Tx!
Just wanted to tell you keep up the excellent work!
The hardest thing in the world right now for a man like me is to meet a good woman to accept me for who i am instead of many women that want a man with money nowadays.
Not verbatim to each description, but in my own way I have experienced #1-4, with #2 & #4 needing to be switched around to be in the correct sequence for me. #1 My High School Sweetheart 3yrs 3 months while in school. I met #3 & #4 at the same time somewhat… #3 first, 5 months later #4. The one who all seemed perfect, it made sense, my family loved him then… etc. I chose the ‘bad boy’ the troubled one where I learned after being emotionally invested that he was struggling with addiction. Proceeded to be with him for 7 yrs and had a child by him in the 6th yr. He didn’t leave me though, I actually left. #2 my ‘soul mate’ true to what it says… *sigh* but now I am ready and I think I may just have stumbled upon my #5, my one, the one 🙂 I shall see!
Its a bad feeling to get hurt sorry for those who have been hurt, when a woman loves a man, she loves with alll her heart.
Mandy I am literally in tears. I needed to read this today. I needed to be remind that God has a much better guy out there than what I let go. That he or they are just part of the journey. A help to my bigger ending not my definition.
Thank you !
[…] a year ago, I’ve come across an article saying a woman would usually meet 5 guys she would love in her lifetime. I’ve always had my love memories organised inside that less-visited corner of my head […]
It’s a wonder that while I read this blog, only one man came into mind (except #3 the bad boy-this was him before we met…I somehow sensed he changed this pattern later after we met). Lately, I have been thinking about him, and been talking to God about that chapter of him in my life. I have always considered that he was God’s most tangible proof of His love for me because He sent this man in my life when I most need to know He hears me. He was the only right in all of the wrongs that was happening in my life. I knew it was of God because He used that love to change my heart of stone into a heart of flesh (able to “feel” again). And, He used that love for me to overcome a crippling fear to open up my heart & allow myself to be vulnerable for the right reasons; to accept love; &, to teach me to give love— as the verse revealed this truth: in 1 John 4:18-19New International Version (NIV)
18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”, and
19 “We love because he first loved us.”…I still hold this man close to my heart. He’s been married for 15 years now. At the last chapter of my story with him, I’ve proven that I have overcome that fear when I told him I chose him, I chose my heart over my head(having been in a committed relationship for 2 yrs just to get over him…despite this, somehow, we still found ways to still communicate; it still wasn’t over between the both of us, emotionally). But, I was too late. He texted me saying he was preparing to get married…and, I guess somehow I knew in my heart why— he got his gf pregnant. I knew I had to let him go.(still, with love). I do not want to have his child lose his father because of me. I stopped communicating right away. Ever since, I almost fell on love only once. I turned 40 last March, and I have decided to stay single for life. Maybe, because I know in my heart that I’ll never have that love again. Maybe, I have to stop thinking that of that “someday”, & just be content of what God is affording me-the “now”. I still feel a distant ache when I think back on it, but I have mastered( and still mastering) acceptance. Thank you Mandy, God bless you.
This is soo true I honestly fell for each in that same order!! Currently waiting for my no 5..who I think I just may be currently seeing. Love reading this thank you!
[…] read in an article that a girl will eventually love five kind of guys in her lifetime: the first love, the one that […]
I am at # 5 and it’s exactly what you wrote he’s everything I could have dreamed and then some and I am marrying him in just about a month. Every woman needs to read this and not be discouraged with what # you’re on cause # 5 is more than worth it.
I’ve been through 4, and been waiting on #5 for 9 years. I’m afraid to go on a date with anyone. I feel there may not be anyone else. I’m in a relationship with JESUS, have been for 2.5 years. Seems no one can meet my expectations, or maybe they’re too unrealistic. I’m not going to settle for just anyone. So, that means the next one is #5. I have been praying for years. Or maybe I’m just going to continue being alone. I’m not sure.