Merry Christmas, Single Ladies…
My dear friends…it’s that time of year again when being single can…well, sort of suck. When the happy family outing pictures from your married and taken friends on your Facebook feed seems to be on steroids. When you just can’t seem to muster the desire or will to rock around the Christmas tree as a party of one. But never fear. If you’re feeling especially solo this Christmas, I’m here to bring you good tidings of comfort and joy. First off, with a few suggestions of ways to banish those holiday blues. And then with an extra special announcement that I hope will get you just as stoked about 2016 as I am. But first…
Five Quick Ways to Banish Holiday Blues
- Volunteer. Nothing puts your personal problems in perspective like connecting to something bigger than you. Last holiday season I volunteered for Feed America First, creating food boxes for needy families, and finding a way to plug myself in and fill a need was like sunshine to my soul. There is always someone around you who has it worse, and sometimes we need a reminder of that.
- Start New Traditions With Friends and Family. Last year I went to the Christmas tree lighting in my town with my nieces, took pictures with Santa with some of my best friends, and helped plan a trip to the mountains with my family. It’s a perk of single life that we sometimes overlook: we have the time and opportunity to do so much… including actually becoming FRIENDS with our parents. I have a deeper, richer relationship with my parents than I might have ever had if I’d coupled up in my 20s as most of my friends did.
- Get a Jump on New Year’s Resolutions. But instead of setting the same old lofty ones, try coming up with a list of tangible and attainable goals. Create a vision board (it can be a dry-erase board where you list the things you want to do this year). This literally changed my life back in 2010 when I decided I would “start a blog.” Three books later, here we are. And THIS year I’m going to be launching a super secret project that will invite you to create a vision for your life in 2016 in a very bold and unique way. Stay tuned for more details!
- Out With the Old, In With the New. Take inventory of your house and your surroundings and do a little cleanse of the unnecessary stuff in your life. I’ve found that when you lose a lot of physical baggage, it motivates you to get rid of the emotional baggage in your life as well.
- ORDER MY NEW BOOK & GET LOTS OF FREE GOODIES! Okay, big announcement time, like I promised. My BRAND NEW book, Beautiful Uncertainty, hits bookstores on February 2, 2016 but you can pre-order it right here and now (from either the button at the top of this page or from the homepage) and get all sorts of free goodies in time for Christmas. Including downloadable freebies like my Guide to Letting Go & Moving On (Hello, see #4! It’s time to let go of not just the physical baggage in your life, but the emotional as well), the first two chapters of Beautiful Uncertainty (which details how to create your own Vision Board…info you’ll need to know in order to take part in my top secret project I mentioned in #3!), a gift card to present to someone you’re gifting Beautiful Uncertainty to, and a personal Christmas card from me and my kitty cats, Prince Hairy and Sir Paw. Plus TONS of other goodies that will be mailed to you in February. This book really is the most special thing I feel like I have ever written and I do hope you’ll check it out. I think it might just encourage you to make 2016 your best year yet.
So let’s be like Iris in the movie The Holiday (featured in the quote above.) Let’s go someplace new this year, even if it’s not a physical place, but a new mindset or attitude or outlook. Let’s make an effort to meet people and do things that make us feel worthwhile again. Single ladies…let’s make this the merriest Christmas and the most Beautifully Uncertain new year we’ve ever had…yes?
Feel free to comment below with your Christmas wishes, your thoughts on The Holiday (and whether or not Jude Law is still bae), your goals for 2016, your favorite parts of the first two chapters of Beautiful Uncertainty once you download it…honestly, comment below with absolutely anything you’d like to say!
Thanks for this Mandy! I really needed and appreciated the encouragement tonight. Merry Christmas, happy 2016 and Best of luck with the launch of Beautiful Uncertainty! Can’t wait to read it:)
Mandy, you’ve changed my life in every aspect. You’ll never know how many long days, sleepless nights, & days of doubt you’ve gotten me through. You are incredible, Mandy Hale. Im no longer bitter- I’m BETTER & also accepting appologies I know I’ll never receive & that’s ok. However,. I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming. Counting my blessings in all situations even The really Ugly ones. Soooo THANK YOU (assholes) for not wasting anymore of my time than you already did. im on the pursuit of my own happiens. I AM CONFIDENT. I AM CAPABLE. • Choosing JOY!
Well, hello, neighbor! 🙂 This is such a beautiful sentiment. Thank you so, so much. Truly. xo, Mandy
I have spent the last few years of holidays by myself, and sometimes I get depressed. But I think that I should branch out and do something different. Being alone is all the time isn’t good for one. I have been single for 10 years now.
I don’t do new year’s resolution but think I should seriously consider doing that vision board in the new year. I so appreciate your words and heart. Have a very blessed Christmas and a wonderful 2016. Cannot wait to read Beautiful Uncertainty!
Merry Christmas to you Mandy. Thank you for all the advice
Merry Christmas to you Mandy. Thank you for all the advice
Travel, no matter how near our far away it is, always lifts my spirits this time of year. I also make a choice to not allow my self to get low. Yes, I’m single (although I’d prefer not to be, but it hasn’t happened that way yet), but I’m also alive, healthy, active, and determined to live life to the full. So I’m cruising for 7 days over Christmas with a (female) friend, then off to Zanzibar for New Year’s on my ace. I’m finishing 2015 and starting 2016 strong. Thank you for your encouragement this year Mandy. From Zimbabwe Merry Christmas and may 2016 be our best year yet.
It’s my favorite movie & try to live vicariously thru it…doesn’t always work but just keeping at it. Can’t wait to read the book.
Thank you, Mandy for your message. I have been out of my ten-year relationship for a year now in January and the pain still feels like it was just yesterday. This is the first official holiday season that I am spending alone, I moved to be with this person 8 years ago & my family lives very far away (two plane rides away). My son is with me, but he is in college so now that he’s home it’s more about catching up with friends than spending time with Mom & I completely understand that. All of my friends in my city are “boo-ed” up so its very hard to create new traditions with them. Everyone has their own things going on this time of year. I graduated with my master’s degree yesterday (December 19th) and it was a bittersweet day. I really wanted my ex there to share in this victory with me, since his support and encouragement along that entire journey was something that kept me going in my weakest moments, but we have zero communication with each other so that did not happen. My daily life is a struggle each and every day, but I believe in God and the process he is taking me through. The pain is not as difficult as it was, but it still hurts so much. I am working on letting go and I think I have done a great deal of letting go thus far, but my heart is taking longer than anything else to get through this. I get frustrated with myself because I want it to be over, so I can truly “MOVE ON”…that is my wish for 2016. I’ve always wanted to do a vision board, so I believe 2016 is my year to do it!
I celebrate your graduation! Congratulations, sister! Go show the world how smart you are.
Hey dear; your message touched me deeply, I kinda know how you feel, just a little bit,I cannot say completely I know how you feel cos ten years and breaking up ain’t no joke. However my sincere advice; don’t be too hard on u, celebrate how far you have come and believe you will one day come out completely healed. do not also see yourself as weak by comparing your journey and speed to anyone else’s, you are doing great at your own pace. keep trusting God,He always has our backs
This definitely will be the best Christmas Ive had since 2012. My church has brought awesome support through friends and ministry opportunities. I had been so focused on finding Mr. Right like my other divorced girlfriends did that I forgot this was about finding myself again. This year…….God answered my prayers and sent an awesome godly guy friend my way. God has shown me so much through my friend. I’m stronger and more confident. And I am learning all about building a healthy friendship with a guy. I was so messed up in my thinking because of my past encounters with men. Today I know that giving myself physically to a guy isn’t necessary. I’ve learned that love is not about the physical. Love goes much deeper. Love for me has become the desire to make someone happy. It could be simple things or going the extra mile just to see him smile or laugh. Although I didn’t conquer my trust issues or anxiety this year, I have definitely come a long way. Looking forward to 2016 and what God has planned for me.
Thank you for your great advice I needed it. I can’t wait for your new book, you are awesome! Happy Holidays.
Mandy, you really are a gift to so many single women. I’ve been through many long and lonely years. But this year, I met a guy and thought I had a chance at finding love. I worked up the courage to share my feelings and *SURPRISE!* I was wrong. And did I mention I got shot down the day before I went on vacation?! But while relaxing in Barbados, I read your first book and it helped pull me out of a terrible sadness. I haven’t experienced much love in my life, but you give me so much hope. THANK YOU! I’m excited for what our Heavenly Father has in store for us in 2016! I’ll do my best to be patient and let the Lord take care of my future love life. In the meantime, I’m getting excited about my life right now. I’m working on getting a new job at a major news network, I’m working on publishing my first novel, and living a more happy and healthy life. GOD BLESS!
I need this so badly right now. My heart is broken, I was forgotten and the other girl was chosen. He’s a liar and he’s not faithful to her either. He played with my heart and now I’m so broken and so outdone with men that I don’t even see a way out. I needed to see this today. God’s way of saying it’ll be ok one day. Thanks Mandy for all of your advice :).
I almost did not read this because I was like;” I am not lonely though I am single” not to be arrogant but i trust that with God, i am content and it will happen for me at the right time; meeting My Own Love that is. however I am glad I did read your article because I learnt something. never believed in resolutions but I see ain’t nothing wrong in penning down idea’s, plans and thoughts. God bless you, keep being an inspiration
Season greetings Mandy. You are not alone. There are a lot of us out there as single women who gets reminded in times like this about having a family. I believe we all have families whether we are single or not. And all we need is to recognise who are families are,especially as Christians. It’s time to show love and follow those steps u mentioned. Your such a great source of inspiration and am believing we would meet someday. Merry xmas 2 u,love ya!!!
Thanks Mandy. This coming January will mark two years of being seperated from my unfaithful husband of 12 years. We share a beautiful little girl with whom I love with all my heart. When I first split with my ex husband, I found solace in your first two books and was able to find peace with myself. While I have forgiven and moved forward with my life, it is still hard especially around the holidays, but I’m doing ok. I am looking forward to reading your book and hopefully I can get over my fear of getting back out there.
I somehow stumbled upon your instagram feed about a year or so ago, and then started following you on twitter, too. Honestly, I relate to almost everything you write. You’re so good at “saying” everything that I’m thinking…except yours sounds better than my jumbled up mess of thoughts! Thank you for your advice; it’s so hard being single (esp at the age of 35), and your advice keeps me positive and hopeful! I’m pretty sure if we met, we’d become instant friends. 🙂
Thanks Mandy for your word of encouragement. Your not alone in this. I’ll take your advice