Yes, Single Women…There IS a Santa Claus

ChristmasDear Mandy,

I’m 38 years old and starting to give up hope. I’ve dated nothing but one loser after another, all my friends are married with children, and there are no romantic prospects in sight. Sometimes I feel like the last single girl left on the face of the earth. I’m starting to lose faith in Happy Endings the way I lost faith in Santa Claus when I was a young girl. My friends all tell me I’m too picky and that I should just settle for Mr. Good Enough instead of holding out for Mr. Right.

It’s Christmas. Please tell me the truth. Are there such things as Happy Endings, or just endings?

Blue Christmas in Virginia

My dear Virginia,

Your friends are wrong. They have been affected by statistics and stereotypes and even their own cynical mindsets about Happy Endings. They do not believe in what they have not experienced…and those who settle often can’t fathom the uncertainty of holding out for any other outcome. You see, it takes faith and trust and hope to believe in Happy Endings…and some people simply aren’t brave enough to allow themselves to trust in what they have not seen or experienced. They might even dismiss the idea of Happy Endings as trite and impossible and nonsensical kid stuff…maybe even tell you Happy Endings only happen “in the movies”…ever forgetting that more often than not, art imitates life rather than vice versa.

Yes, Virginia, there ARE Happy Endings. They exist as certainly as love and joy and magic exist, and though you can’t physically SEE those things, you know that they abound and give to your life its highest purpose and calling. Alas! How dreary life would be if there were no Happy Endings. It would be as dreary as if there were no hopeful single women. There would be no romance, no fairytales, no wishes upon stars to make enjoyable this existence. We would have nothing to dream about, to pray for, to believe in…except for the things we could physically see and touch. The joyous glow with which the words “Once Upon a Time” and “Happily Ever After” fill our hearts would be extinguished by doubt, and cynicism, and disbelief.

Not believe in Happy Endings! You may as well not believe in Romeo & Juliet…or Cinderella & Prince Charming…or Jack & Rose. You might even be tempted to look around at some of the men you’ve dated and start to believe that because all you’ve met are “Mr. Right Nows” that “Mr. Right” doesn’t exist…but what does that prove? Because there is no sign of a Happy Ending, you’re doomed to never experience one? Remember, Virginia, all it takes is ONE moment to change EVERY moment after. The most amazing meetings in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope…why, because some great big cosmic figure was up there laughing hysterically at you being tortured and tormented by the waiting? No, because every second of the waiting was preparing you for the one who has been patiently waiting for you. No mind can begin to conceive all the wondrous ways love has of arriving at your door…more often than not, when you least expect it.

You may dissect the human heart and see in great detail what makes it tick…but love goes far deeper than what we can see with our eyes. There is no stopwatch that can say when it is too late for love to find us…because such a deadline does not exist. As long as there are human hearts beating on this earth, and eyes that can lock for the first time, and hands that can form to another human being’s as though they were two puzzle pieces designed to fit perfectly together…there will be Happy Endings. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, I’d dare say there is nothing more real than finding your forever in the eyes of another.

A thousand years from now, Virginia…even TEN thousand years from now…Happy Endings will continue to find single women, just like you, and what once was one…will become two.  

Happy Endings! Thank God they exist…and delight…and enchant us, inspire us, encourage us, push us to believe and hope and trust in something much bigger than ourselves. Just like Christmas. And just like Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas to you, Virginia…and to all hopeful single women out there, brave enough to believe…

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43 Responses to “ Yes, Single Women…There IS a Santa Claus ”

  1. December 21, 2014

    Thank you…I too am blue in Virginia but your words help 🙂

    • December 23, 2014

      i wish you nothing but the best ,i was single for 10 months, i am now dating ,he is good to me.we will see about he future! dont give up sweetie.and never settle for life is short ,go for the gold and nothing less!merry christmas!!

    • Belinda
      December 24, 2014

      I am single and I am myself experiencing what you are feeling. Don’t let your friends or your family make you feel that you are to picky or your standards are to high. You have the faith to continue to wait on gods best for you and in due season you will receive god’s best for you. I read a lot of Heather Lindsey and her story helps me to stay encouraged. Have you ever thought that god may have some other assignments that he want you to accomplish before that season is to come in your life. Pray and ask god what his purpose for you is? Seek him and get in his will and my favorite scripture is Seek god and all his righteous and all these things will be added to you. This scriptures helps me because it helps me to realize that as long as I am doing my father’s business and stay focused on that and that only that the desires of my heart will be manifested in his perfect timing. I pray that this help to encourage you. Happy Holidays.
      Belinda Gardner

    • December 22, 2015

      I have been single for over a decade but truth be told, I wasn’t truly ready or open to real love until a few years ago. Even then, I let fear have too much of a voice. I agree, finding true love is nothing to give up hope in, even in blue times. This season can bring lonely feelings out in its. I’ve found that staying focused and making time to do things I enjoy, yes alone, still brings happiness. When emotions want to remain melancholy, I give thanks and gratitude for all I have, instead of the few things I do not. Here’s to our happy endings ladies.

    • Melissa
      December 23, 2015

      Me to I feel the same way however I do know that God has something better than we can ever imagine so we just have to pray for that Man as he prays for us.. Let’s keep the Faith Ladies in Jesus Name….

    • Carla Patton
      December 24, 2015

      Thanks for this! This year was a hard lesson about settling and toxic relationships. Easy to fall into and desperately hard to get out of with any sense of self-worth. I will keep hoping and have faith that Mr. Perfect is still waiting for me and that I will be ready when he shows up!

  2. Jamie
    December 21, 2014

    It gets harder and harder to believe as I get older..

    • Jacquie Wayans
      December 28, 2015

      I am 48 and its been 15 years. I’m actually putting tips together because it is different for those of us that are older, but don’t think about giving up.

  3. Solange
    December 21, 2014

    Deep inside, those who feel identified with Virginia, already know all that Mandy said, but we need to find the people who say it, spit it out. Because, really, we don’t wanna give up, and we don’t just accept middle terms, negotiations. We need to encourage between us, the dreamers, and stop to listening those who shaped. Well, this is my way of seeing it. I tried to give up so many times, but my heart didn’t no matter what. So, I keep on looking for my Happy Ending (a way of saying it), and I still dare to dream. I’m 30 and felt finished, because suddenly I was alone, divorced and now, without real support. I’m trying to build me a life, and it has been SO hard. But I still belive because with out belive in love, in Happy Endings, as Mandy said, how the world would be… I’m glad the I found this blog. Thank you.

  4. Shanika
    December 21, 2014

    Thank you! I too am Blue in Virginia

  5. Suzanne
    December 22, 2014

    Thank you Mandy…

    • Tina
      December 24, 2014

      Thank you.. I feel exactly the same one although not all my friends believe I should settle… I just have a hard time believing it’s out there for me… so alas I settle for mister right now… this made me smile… I will have faith and continue on… Thank you and Merry Christmas from “still waiting’ in Colorado!!!!

  6. Kay
    December 23, 2014

    I am in my late fifties and never married. I want to believe in happy endings but its tough after all the years of being alone. I didn’t picture my life like this when I was a young girl. I remember sitting in church during my teen years and reading the marriage ceremony in the hymnal because I knew I would be finding my prince charming soon. I wish I knew the words to say to other single women who find them selves alone and feeling less than but I don’t know what those words are. I do know that God has a plan for our lives and we need to trust him.

    • Colette
      December 23, 2014

      Kay, I most certainly can relate. It is not easy being single on some days.

    • Janka
      December 23, 2014

      Kay, praying for you tonight. May God bless you a lot!!!

    • Linda
      December 24, 2014

      Dearest Kay,

      I hear your heart honey, and I would just like to pass on a message of encouragement. My pastor friend was telling me a story this week of a friend she has who met a lady in her early 50’s and she’d never been married either. He fell in love with her and now they’re married!! She stayed true to her walk with the Lord, and he has blessed her enormously!! Personally I know we are not designed to spend our lives alone, but I also have experienced how it is my relationship with Him that carries me through, opens my heart to stand strong more and love more deeply as He does. I believe your Mr Right is out there, and God will more than bless your faithfulness. May your heart be filled to overflowing with His love in you. Blessings and dreams, Linda xoxoxo

  7. Paige
    December 23, 2014

    Hope you still feel that way when you are, like me, 3 days away from turning 49 – and still waiting. I’m so tired of the cliches, and empty promises. Best wishes to all who seek but find no love waiting for her.

    • Mandy Hale
      January 2, 2015

      Respectfully, I don’t think I speak in cliches. My calling in life is to provide hope to single women, and that’s what I’m doing here. I think part of drawing the life we want to us is having the right attitude about it. So I can choose to be negative and hopeless or I can choose to be positive and hopeful. I choose the latter. 🙂

  8. December 23, 2014

    The reading from Mandy I can definitely relate. It seems I only find one loser after another that promise you the moon and everything else in between. Then I have the ones that only want me but nothing to do with my kids. It’s a never ending battle that makes you think you were meant to be single for the rest of your life.

  9. Lori
    December 23, 2014

    I feel the same way, I will be 42 next month and here another Christmas by myself. Its hard to have faith and trust in God’s timing but I am determined in 2015 to work hard at not settling for Mr. Right Now. My heart can’t take it.

  10. DSC
    December 23, 2014

    I have been married twice to 2 handsome Prince Charmings and divorced both. They were both sexually devient. Today after being on my own and dating a few men…I realize that if Mr Right comes along…nice, but not sure I want him 24/7. I truly enjoy my private time. I do have several men friends, but none I want as a life partner.
    So those women out there experiencing loneliness. Ask yourselves…”Do I love myself?” Until you do,The real Mr Right will not be drawn to you. Go to some Law of Attraction meetup groups. What you think and exude is what you attract. Create a new story and a new you! Also pick up a copy of “The Power” CDs by Rhona Byrnes. This set of CDs have change my life and so many others. Tell your story the was you WANT IT to be in your life, and believe it. It will come to fruition!. .

  11. December 23, 2014

    I was 44 when I was widowed, been alone now for almost 13 yrs., for me I had my chance at happiness, I quit wishing & dreaming a long time ago. There is no second chance for me, I’ve resigned myself to that, some just aren’t meant to have a second chance at being happy again & I’m one of em.

  12. Julissa
    December 23, 2014

    Thank you!

  13. Shannon
    December 23, 2014

    you know Romeo and Juliet did not have a happy ending right?

  14. Shannon
    December 23, 2014

    otherwise i think this is great

  15. Shannon K
    December 23, 2014

    I love this. Each year it is easy to give up. There isn’t an answer. I reflect on the same things as Miss Virginia. Christmas always makes it so hard. My best asset is a close friend who didn’t find her husband until 35. And then to top it off couldn’t have a baby. But God blessed her with a girl they adopted in 2012. She is 2, full of life and I love her to pieces. I have to think God knew this little girl would need a mommy and a home. It’s hard but I see he always has a plan. Even when I think I can’t be a bridesmaid one more time, I have to reflect on the many blessings. It is easy to lose hope. I decided last year to no longer say when I get married, but if I get married. For my personal psyche it made me look past forever and see right now. Trusting God has a plan ad hard as it seems sometimes.

  16. Ten
    December 23, 2014

    Faith and time will collide to bring us the one we will love forever…keep the faith.

  17. Janine
    December 23, 2014

    God doesn’t want humans to be alone. He blatantly displayed that with Adam & Eve, BUT I don’t think every human is designed for marriage…or at least that’s what I was told by a religious figure when I had my heart broken 10 years ago.

    • Mandy Hale
      January 2, 2015

      This blog isn’t designed to make the statement that every person is going to get married. It’s simply designed to encourage those of us on this long and sometimes discouraging single journey that happy endings DO exist, and they DO still happen. Which I believe with my whole heart. 🙂

  18. Kristi Woodard
    December 23, 2014

    How inspiring! I’ve been single for nine years now and as like those of many others only dated Mr. Wrong’s. I’ve been pushed to the edge of giving up hope, faith, love. Still there is something in me that says… hang on, it will happen… Everyday is new and you never know who you will meet. It’s a challenge… be strong!

  19. Roxanne
    December 23, 2014

    I am single, about to be 40 next month, and even my oldest daughter thinks I am silly for stilling believing in Happy Endings, Mircles and not settling for less than what I want. But for me settling is not an opinion, I want my prince charming and I will wait forever if I have to but I will not settle. So yes Happy Endings and Mircles happen every day. I will continue to believe until I take my last breath.

  20. Nola
    December 24, 2014

    What an awesome response!! I’m so tired of all these women being so down because they think they’ve been looked over. I’m 47 and never been married. Never really had a boyfriend but seriously girls, God has big plans for us!! Life does not revolve around finding a man. Your life will not start when you get married. It’s happening now!! I was in 4 weddings. Don’t think I don’t know what it’s like. But please. Trust God with your life. And not just to find a man. But to fulfill your purpose. Now. Yours and yours alone!! He loves us deeply!! Thank you for this response!! It’s great!!

  21. Bahia
    December 24, 2014

    Yesterday i read a quote: “Do your best and God will do the rest.” By doing your best, I mean working on yourself to become someone YOU enjoy being with. Once this happens, the right person will show up. I am also waiting, But I trust god speed.

  22. karen
    December 24, 2014

    “all it takes is ONE moment to change EVERY moment after”
    love this <3

  23. patricia roberts
    December 24, 2014

    This question and Mandy’s response was perfectly timed. I am 47 and still single, I go through a range of emotions from hope to despair. Thank you Mandy you have strengthen my belief in happy endings. Thank you. Thank you, Thank you

  24. Angela
    December 24, 2014

    I believe in love…and marriage..and happy endings. I do, I really do! However, the Bible tells us that everyone isn’t going to get married; therefore, it would be irresponsible of us to tell everyone that their prince charming is coming. Likewise, the Bible also tells us that God will give us the desires of our hearts…and that’s what the hopeless romantic in me clings to because God knows that I desire a husband. Ultimately, my prayer is that God’s will be done, not mine…in spite of what I want. And if that means I’ll have a life of singleness, so be it. I would be sorely disappointed, but I’d accept it. My hope is that we all find enchanted love and that we all live happily ever after. Merry Christmas, my friends!

  25. Suzanne
    December 22, 2015

    A beautiful hope-inspiring message…. ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!

  26. Marin
    December 22, 2015

    This seems right on point. I have only had one boyfriend, who turned out to be a loser. I’ve had multiple guy friends interested in me, but I always ask them to get to know me as a friend for at least 6 months before we decide to date. The few that make it to that point I’ve found that I not as interested in ad they are me. At the start of 2015 I was reconciling with the idea that I’d never meet the right guy and that I’d be alone forever… Then something amazing started to happen. A guy ho I was acquainted with and I started getting to know each other, finding out that we have an insane amount of things in common. The more we got to know each other, the more we started liking each other. When I told him my 6month rule, he suggested that we get to know each other as friends for an entire year. At our six month mark we talked about are feelings towards each other, and still ate very fond of each other. Our year is up in a few months, but the way things are going and how often we talk, I do feel that we are very likely to become more than friends. Strange things can and do happen, and it’s certainly a magical feeling.

  27. Darlene McKinney
    December 23, 2015

    I married at a the young age of 19. Three wonderful children and 22 years later, I found myself single again. Coming up on 6 years now, I’ve dated but never found the right fit. My family and friends all said I’m too picky. But I know what I like and don’t want to end up married to someone that I don’t like. I look at it this way, my next marriage will be my last.
    Some days I feel that I had my once in a lifetime love, and I’ll never find true, everlasting love again.
    Some days I’m okay with that, some night I cry myself to sleep.
    I’m keeping the Faith that God is in control and has a plan for me.
    Thank you for sharing your story, keep the Faith!

    • December 25, 2015

      I experience many of the same feelings, Darlene. I have been single for about 4 years this last go round. Funny thing is, I’m not seeking anything that I am not willing to do or be to someone else. Every spring I tell myself this is “the summer,” every winter I tell myself this is the last holiday season alone, yet…

  28. Kat
    December 23, 2015

    I wish I could believe in this happy ending but I’m alone going on 11 years now. I too met one loser after another and gave up on dating 6 years ago. Left my husband years ago as he was abusive in more ways than one. I like the single life but sometimes I miss the companionship but not the drama or bulls***. For now I will keep enjoying the company of my fur kid.

  29. Linda
    December 23, 2015

    I believe in positive thinking but once you get past a certain he it’s hard to even know where u could even meet a me right. I’ve been on my own 17 years now , with a selection of short term going nowhere relationships and one longer term love story that was not to be. He turned up not only at a time when I had given up but was also an unlikely candidate for love. But fall in love we did trouble is he just could not commit to a more , he liked the fairy tale that our relationship was but I wanted more reality, for 2 years we met u and lived in our own bubble, we didn’t know each other’s friends or family and he likes that it was just us but for me that wasn’t real. I gave him an ultimatum and he couldn’t meet it. 5 years later I still hear from him and neither of us can really move on but still nothing will change. I feel tropes I. A cage if my own making. I’ve tried to meet other men , one even wanted to marry me but I just can’t imagine being with anyone else , especially sexually, so where is my hope that prince churning will turn up because my heart and soul tells me he presume did !!!

  30. Single in Pa BUT NOT LOST
    December 24, 2015

    Thank You for RESTORING hope in ALL OF US SINGLE SASSY WOME, around the globe!!! merry Christmas and Enjoy your Singleness

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Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only