Dash of Sass: Nothing to Prove
I’ve been on a journey with God in this new year about pride. God showing me my own prideful behaviors and using others as mirrors to reveal to me who I no longer want to be. I don’t want to be that person who uses social media as a scratching post for my wounded ego, as a platform for boasting about myself, or as a medium for convincing other people how great or actualized or even “Christian” I am. I don’t want to be the person who searches for constant validation in the faces of strangers. I don’t want to be the person who no longer lives in the moment because I’m too busy bragging about living in the moment to my online friends. I want to stop endlessly proving myself to people. I want to be real…and I want to be me. Just me. Someone asked me the other day, “So what’s your goal, Mandy? To be the next Oprah?” And as much as I love Oprah, the truth is…I don’t want to be the next Oprah or the next anyone. I just want to be me. And I want to rest in the knowledge that just being me is enough. I want to start asking myself before I post something for public consumption: “Is this to glorify God and/or edify others and/or make someone laugh and bring them joy…or is it to glorify myself and boost my ego and prove my value?” Because the truth is, pride stinks. It reeks. It’s off-putting and alienating and divisive. It’s not inclusive. It’s not designed to bring anyone in from the cold, but to make them feel like they are on the outside looking in. And I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to spend another minute bragging or boasting or proving myself. I just want to BE. I want to tell my stories, free of ego. I want to share my shortcomings AND my successes honestly, and without being defined by either one. This is my prayer this year…to just learn to be ME without all the other junk. I guess I am sharing all this so that anyone else out there tired of the emptiness of pride, too, can join me in this journey of just BEING. God said “Be still and know that I am God”…not “Be still and know that YOU are God.” I want my life to start reflecting that.