Dash of Sass: Stop Forcing. Stop Chasing. (Seriously, STOP.)
There’s something I’m super frustrated with lately, observing myself and my friends and reading emails from ladies who write to me for advice…and that is this idea that women seem to have that we need to work our toenails off to make a relationship happen with a man. That we have to “put ourselves in the way” of these men, otherwise they won’t remember us. That WE have to go out of our way to orchestrate run-ins and instigate conversations and catch THEIR eye. And while we’re working our fingers to the bone simply to get in the man’s line of sight, the man is sitting back twiddling his thumbs and not lifting ONE finger to pursue us, get to know us, spend time with us, or in some cases, even acknowledge us. And why? To what end are we doing this? Is our dignity and self-respect really worth so little that we’re willing to trade it in for five minutes of recognition from a man who probably doesn’t deserve us anyway? NO. It has to stop, ladies. And I’m talking to myself here, too. We have to stop with the idea that we can force or manipulate a man into being with us or wanting to be with us. We shouldn’t have to. By forcing and manipulating and orchestrating and stressing and planning and going out of our way to get in his line of sight, we are saying to the world that WE are not worthy of HIS pursuit, attention, time, and effort. NO. Nothing meant to be will ever have to be forced. No man who is meant for us will ever have to be chased. No relationship that is meant to happen will require so much work. It just won’t! And it certainly won’t require us to check our self-worth at the door! Relax. Breathe. Trust. Let go. Be your amazing, rockstar self, knowing in confidence that if a man is meant to be in your life, you simply being YOU will be all the encouragement he needs to want to get to know you and spend time with you. We are worth more than this, ladies. Yes, it’s important to open ourselves up to the idea of love and to engage and to be vulnerable and to let a man know when we are interested in him, but that’s enough. That’s it. Anything beyond that is sending the universe a message that you feel like you have to earn love. And love and affection worth having will never have to be EARNED.