Advent. Waiting. And Singleness.

WaitingI’ve been trying to come up with a fun “single” twist on Advent season for the past week and I haven’t had much luck. The truth is, it can be easy as a single woman to feel a bit alienated from the mainstream Christmas traditions and books and such, as they are mostly family-oriented in nature and often serve to remind us singles that we don’t yet have a family. We shop for Christmas presents alone…we decorate our trees alone…we stand under numerous bundles of mistletoe alone and pray Creepy McCreeperson from the office party won’t choose this moment to make his move. (Because in the holiday movie of our lives, the male lead rarely ever looks like Jude Law. Or at least Jude Law ten years and a lot more hair ago. Sorry, Jude. If it’s any consolation, you WERE, once upon a time, bae.)

But I digress.

The truth is, as much as I love Christmas (and I do love Christmas. You should see my apartment. It looks like Santa’s Workshop. On steroids.)…I’ve had a little bit of difficulty this year finding the commonality between the holiday season and the single season. Until yesterday in church, when my pastor reminded me that Advent is all about waiting.

Obviously “Advent” in the Christian tradition is literally the four Sundays preceding Christmas. But the actual definition of the word is much more telling:

Advent – an arrival or coming, especially one which is awaited.

Advent is waiting in expectation for something we’ve waited a long time for. And while we are obviously waiting in expectation for the day that we celebrate our Savior’s birth, I think Advent can also be a reminder of the importance of waiting for anything we hope for, long for, pray for.

And who can better understand WAITING…than single women?

I’ve never been a great “waiter.” I abhor sitting in traffic. I tap my toe impatiently waiting for a movie or a concert to start while eating my way through my entire box of Junior Mints before the previews even come on. And don’t even get me started on waiting in line at Chick Fil A (seriously…when you have to have a police officer direct traffic in and out of your restaurant 24/7, it’s time to open a second franchise! And really, what is in those nuggets that makes them so addictive?!?)

But most of all…I am weary of waiting for love.

I am weary of having no one to cook for (I never thought THAT day would come!) I am weary of not having a partner to back me up when the oil change place tries to convince me that I need a new filter, new wiper blades, a new engine, and a partridge in a pear tree. I am weary of not having a “tribe.” I am weary of buying wedding and baby shower gifts for other people (sorry, friends. I am.) I am weary of the endless parade of adorable family photos of fun holiday happenings that my various social media timelines are besieged with this time of year. I am weary of sitting alone and going places alone. I am weary of having no one to share my heart and my life and my love with.

I love my life. I am content in my singleness. I don’t doubt my completeness or my value as a single person. But I am ready for the next chapter of my life and all the experiences it will bring…and I am weary of waiting for it.

But if Advent is a season that celebrates the act of WAITING…isn’t it possible that there’s something sacred in the waiting that God wants to share with us?

Waiting and God’s silence seem to go hand in hand. It’s not called “Silent Night” for nothing. As Pastor Trevor pointed out yesterday, when the angel Gabriel visited Zechariah to inform him that his wife Elizabeth would soon bear a son (John the Baptist) who would help usher in the coming Messiah, he struck Zechariah completely silent for Elizabeth’s entire pregnancy. (See Luke 1) So isn’t there something there that should tell us that while hoping for the miracle, while praying for the miracle, while waiting for the miracle, maybe we should view God’s silence not as punishment but as preparation? Maybe we should stop cursing the waiting and start thanking God for it? Maybe we should trust that His timing and His way is perfect, and that He’s only asking us to wait because He loves us too much to bring us something we’re not yet ready for?

“Long lay the world, in sin and error pining…til He appeared, and the soul felt it’s worth…”

Long we wait for the promise. But we do not wait alone. He is here, in the waiting, in the praying, in the weeping, in the hoping, in the doubting, in the trusting, in the wishing…HE IS HERE.

I guess my hope for me and for you and for all single women this Advent season, if nothing else, is to embrace the beautiful uncertainty of waiting. If it seems like God is silent, maybe it’s because it’s your turn to talk. Tell Him your doubts, your fears, your dreams. Then wait. Wait with expectation for His arrival. I can’t tell you when or how or even IF your dream or my dream of love and marriage will come true…but I can assure you that no matter what happens, He will be with us in the midst of it.

And it will be beautiful.

 

 

 

86 Responses to “ Advent. Waiting. And Singleness. ”

  1. Joecelyn
    December 8, 2014

    thank you for posting this. i’ve been feeling the exact same way for the past year. tired of waiting, not knowing what i’m waiting for, or if what i’m praying and hoping for will ever come to pass. i believe God wouldn’t of put this love in my heart if it weren’t meant to be shared with the right person, and i’d rather wait for that right person than waste time on all the wrong ones (i’ve been there and done that and i’m soooooo over it!). what a blessing to know that i’m not the only woman in the world who feels this way.

  2. Misty
    December 8, 2014

    This made me cry! So beautifully written Mandy. It’s so hard waiting on something you’ve wanted and dreamed about your entire life. I know everything happens for a reason. Our timeline, plans, and expectations don’t always line up with God’s ultimate plan for us. It’s hard to wait, practice patience, and remain at peace while we go through the valleys of life. Putting our faith and trust in Him during those trying times is what He longs for us to do. This has been my my struggle this year. I’m working on it everyday.

  3. Julia
    December 8, 2014

    This is such a timely blog post. For some reason this holiday season has been so much more different feeling for me than those in the past. I have been helping my sister-in-law and her growing family and drawing closer to all of them and in the process I have seen first had so many of the beautiful traditions she is starting with her 3 beautiful daughters and my brother and it is so hard to watch. I have so longed for that time when I might start my own traditions with my own family since that is something that my parents never really did when I was growing up. But your post just brought so many wonderful thoughts to me about this season of waiting, both in my own life and the anticipation for Christmas and all it has to offer. I can step back and look at the next few weeks in such a new way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • Debbie
      December 8, 2014

      I can TOTALLY relate, Julia. I generally love Christmas, but the family-ness of it does wear on one, especially when seeing others’ family traditions and you have a few you’d like to implement… In the long-awaited future. 🙂
      Encouraged by this blog post.

  4. Michelle
    December 8, 2014

    This is so perfect, Mandy. I’m very complete in my single life. It’s nothing that I expected but I feel worth and joy in the things I do in life. But this time of year is the worst. My mom who passed away just a couple weeks ago was just aglow during Christmas and I want so badly to carry that tradition on into my own family!
    So as my life changes around me, I will try to patiently wait with all my single sisters for the next step the Lord has for us!

  5. Ariane
    December 8, 2014

    Thanks for the reminder. I came at the right time.

  6. December 8, 2014

    Very much needed post. Thanks for reminding us that we’re not waiting in vain. We must trust God’s timing. Thank you God for working through Mandy to help us hold on just a little longer.

    • Vicki Iseman
      December 8, 2014

      Wonderful post I needed to hear this thank you and Merry Christmas

    • Sandra
      December 9, 2014

      Ditto!!

  7. Laura Báez
    December 8, 2014

    Like all your posts Mandy, you always radiate hope and encourage to embrace my singleness, but most of all, to embrace life and be thankful to God. I love Christmas, but like you Mandy, I always feel lonely this holidays because I dont have that partner to share my heart and my love with. But reading this today, pushes me to wait with joy, to enjoy life, to finally understand that I am complete and whole the way I am. I will keep praying and waiting. Meanwhile, I will live life to the fullest untill that wonderful man God has for me arrive (cause deep inside me, I know He has that ONE for me). a big hug Mandy from the Dominican Republic!

  8. Jay
    December 8, 2014

    Oh I couldn’t have read this at a more perfect time. God’s timing is truly great. I’ve been so down this holiday season with all the cute cards that arrive of my friends and their adorable families, buying gifts, seeing couples and getting shower and wedding invitations. It isn’t that I am not happy for them, just sad for me. This is a wonderful read and I am so thankful for it!! I needed it so much and it makes my heart happy!

  9. Mel Chavez
    December 8, 2014

    I too, am soooo ready and waiting for my Next Chapter. I’ll wait till He tells me and shows me who He has hand picked for me!!!! Thanks again…thank u thank u !!!!

    • dashiell
      December 10, 2014

      I’m waiting.. And will believe God with You:)

  10. Sully
    December 8, 2014

    I relate so well to this and I am appreciative of the reminder!

  11. Kelli
    December 8, 2014

    Thank you! What a refreshing perspective!

  12. Phelesia
    December 8, 2014

    Wow……I so needed this!! It honestly has given me the strength to keep waiting!!!

  13. Maria
    December 8, 2014

    Waiting is painful and reading your blog post and knowing that someone far away (I’m living in South America) is going through the same it is comforting. It makes you feel that your are not alone and that other people face the same struggles as you. particularly, I hate Saturday nights alone, I am sick of grabbing dinner with mom and dad always. All my friends are getting married or already taking care of kids.. Thank you and God bless you for all these wise and encouraging words!!

    • Wondering
      January 11, 2015

      Believe me, Maria. You are NOT alone. There are many “times” in which that sense of aloneness hits. Mine are usually in the morning (waking up – NOT the best way to start the day) and then as the work day comes to a close. I am so grateful for this blog (discovered just tonight) and hope that God is communicating that He DOES have something that will satisfy all of the desires for “togetherness” and family…if I (we) will just continue to wait on and trust Him.

  14. Ashley
    December 8, 2014

    Very much needed and appreciated! It’s hard to wait as a single woman (and mother) to find love and have all the family traditions that my heart wants, and even harder that I used to have (at least the idea of) it when I was married for 8 years. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and still praying and hoping to find that someone to share my life with, and it it especially harder this holiday season. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that God is here and we need to decrease ourselves and increase his spirit in us….and wait. Thank you!

  15. Barbara Burkhalter
    December 8, 2014

    Thank you for this; you have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. Reading it made me cry, but it caused me to look up to heaven with these tear-filled eyes. It renewed my strength, faith and hope. Merry Christmas!!!

  16. Julie
    December 8, 2014

    Thank you for this post. I was just talking to the Lord this morning on my commute about how lonely I’ve been feeling of late. I think the thing I’m really struggling with isn’t the waiting…it’s the waiting without knowing whether it’s pointless. I mean, I HATE waiting for things that end up not coming. At least if I know that I’m waiting on something, it’s fine. But what if I do all of this waiting…and that’s all I ever get? Just years of waiting with nothing to show for it. I am weary of that kind of waiting and I just want to know if it’s coming or not. Because if it is, great; I’ll be patient. But if it’s not (and what is so wrong about getting to know this), then great, fine; I will know and I can stop spending my life hoping and dreaming of something that is never going to happen. Because I’m weary of that, too. I’m weary of being torn between dreaming of it and feeling that parade has passed me by (at the ripe old age of 35 LOL). But I know what God delivered me from, so I continue to wait, and just as I find beauty in this season of Advent leading to Christmas, I’m going to endeavor to find the same beauty in the other advent. So thank you, again, for this post and for the way you continue to minister to us single gals 🙂 I pray your season of Advent and your Christmas is a blessed one!!

    • Wondering
      January 11, 2015

      Hey Julie. Try 48 (years old)! Thank you for sharing this thought. That has been almost precisely my cry to God of late: PLEASE bring that person to share life with OR PLEASE show me why/for what purpose I am to remain single (so I can stop hoping for the former). At least if there is a very clear, God-glorifying reason for my singleness…I think maybe I could handle it. But right now, the desires are still too raw and real (for a home…those family traditions mentioned above…what to me seems like a more stable life even though we all know that looking at some marriages and families these days, often they are NOT in reality so stable…sadly) and the reason for remaining single and childless (that REALLY stings these days) remains so elusive that it is hard to know HOW I should be praying. And then there is that whole issue about divorce and remarriage (I have been divorced) about which there seems to be varying opinions…but that’s a whole other post. But I HEAR you…and I can definitely relate with your desire to know and “see” how/for what you should be waiting and praying. Blessings! I hope we both receive our answer this year (although I have to admit even now, as I type that, I am afraid to hear that my answer might be ongoing singlehood!).

  17. Yulonda
    December 8, 2014

    Thank you for this encouraging and timely gift.

  18. Jessica Fickett
    December 8, 2014

    *sigh* I have often wondered how it is you ‘pen’ the exact things that I am thinking in my very own mind. The ‘weariness’ is so totally me right now in this season. At age 33, single and never been married, but have that desire, it definitely makes me weary at times to wonder when I will be able to start all those traditions with my own husband and family! Thank you for your post. It comes at just the right time, as always. And like you said, although I love my life and am content, I am definitely waiting for that next chapter to be written! But, He is here, He has written that chapter, and is indeed just waiting for the exact time He has appointed for it to be known to me. There needs to be more of this kind of posting for singles during the Christmas season! Blessings!

  19. Cathy
    December 8, 2014

    Thank you so much for this…. It I says exactly what my heart is feeling..

  20. Janet's
    December 8, 2014

    this is so amazing. So timely for me. Now I will. Lear to embrace the waiting

  21. Meghan
    December 8, 2014

    This brought tears to my eyes, so beautifully written. As a single thirty something the holidays are tough especially when I am the only single sibling, but I have full confidence I am doing the right thing by not settling and waiting on God’s time when he will bring the right person in my life. Thanks for posting this. Happy holidays to all.

  22. Yolande Togbe
    December 8, 2014

    Great post… love it gives us hope

  23. HAL
    December 8, 2014

    I am single mom of an 11 year old daughter. I am so thankful for her. I live near all of my family and I am thankful for them as well. However, I’m still lonely at Christmas. I think Christmas is such a romantic time of the year. From about December to March I struggle. I don’t “need” a romantic relationship. My heart desires one. We are all in different situations. Just because one of us may have a family and/or children and be single, or one of us may not have any children and be single, doesn’t mean we aren’t yearning for love…. 🙂

    • Wondering
      January 11, 2015

      Amen to that HAL! ( :

  24. Tina
    December 9, 2014

    Great one, thank you so much for helping me to keep keeping HOPE ALIVE

  25. Tamny
    December 9, 2014

    Our pastor also taught on Advent (coming) last Sunday and Joy (celebration) I am an older single (divorced) woman that just went thru a breakup we were together 31/2 years and thought we would marry. So with that sermon and this article, we need to celebrate our waiting with Joy. I am having a hard time of doing that but some days are easier than others and prayers and singing help.

  26. Bella
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you for sharing
    I totaly understand the feelings behind every single woman
    I have been divorced with a son since 15 years now , had so many lonely days and nights… and must admit , I fid believe at a point in my life that maybe love was just not ment for me.
    But today I wanted to share with you , please dont loose hope… there is always that special someone waiting for every one of us single ladies
    After traveling from country to country , filling my days with work to forget my loneliness , I finaly found him ….. a love that warms the heart and soul…… we will be married next month by the New Year.
    Wish you all a happy holiday
    and wish you find your soul mate soon
    just dont loose hope and love will knock your door no doubt someday

  27. Bella
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you for sharing
    I totaly understand the feelings behind every single woman
    I have been divorced with a son since 15 years now , had so many lonely days and nights… and must admit , I did believe at a point in my life that maybe love was just not ment for me.
    But today I wanted to share with you , please dont loose hope… there is always that special someone waiting for every one of us single ladies
    After traveling from country to country , filling my days with work to forget my loneliness , I finaly found him ….. a love that warms the heart and soul…… we will be married next month by the New Year.
    Wish you all a happy holiday
    and wish you find your soul mate soon
    just dont loose hope and love will knock your door no doubt someday

    • Wondering
      January 11, 2015

      That’s wonderful, Bella (I pray it’s blessed). And I hope what you say is true. I have been told that God would not allow the desires for a partner to remain alive in the heart if they weren’t going to be fulfilled one day. But then I have also read in other places that this may not necessarily be the case (“thorn in the flesh” type of thing). I have been told that I do not have the gift of celibacy (due to my expressed desires for a husband) and that God will in fact bring the right one if I wait. And I have boo-hoo’ed, complained, and literally cried over this issue for decades now (SO many emotions ranging from anger to sadness to disappointment…very sporadically and not ever permanent and full acceptance). Thank you for your sharing here.

  28. Tiera Miles
    December 9, 2014

    Yesssss!! So on time. I’ve been praying and waiting and God answered! Ladies be patient, believe and like Mandy said, EXPECT! my pastor preached a few sundays ago and told us ASK and then EXPECT….then he asked us a question….he said, why are you praying and asking God to perform miracles if you don’t believe He can do it? Sometimes we doubt God but if you’re going to ask, you most definitely better EXPECT. I am so grateful to God for my blessing and miracle He performed this year! My 2015 already started!!!! Let’s Go ladies!!

    • Sandra
      December 9, 2014

      Fantastic news Tiera!!

    • Mary
      December 9, 2014

      How long were you waiting and expecting???

    • Mandy Hale
      January 3, 2015

      Still am. 🙂

    • Karen
      December 15, 2014

      So true Tiera! My Heavenly Father has answered my prayers this year except in this one area of my life & I suspect that’s due to my small ing but niggling doubt. Thank you for the timely reminder that I need to pray like its on its way.

      Christmas Blessings everyone xx

  29. Tiera Miles
    December 9, 2014

    Yesssss!! So on time. I’ve been praying and waiting and God answered! Ladies be patient, believe and like Mandy said, EXPECT! my pastor preached a few sundays ago and told us ASK and then EXPECT….then he asked us a question….he said, why are you praying and asking God to perform miracles if you don’t believe He can do it? Sometimes we doubt God but if you’re going to ask, you most definitely better EXPECT. I am so grateful to God for my blessing and miracle He performed this year! My 2015 already started!!!! Let’s Go ladies!!

  30. Sandra
    December 9, 2014

    I too find this time of year very difficult when its all about families and togetherness and as Mandy puts it so well, everything is done ALONE. I am fortunate and blessed to be going to Italy to visit family this year however, and SO glad that I will not be in South Africa over the festive season….ruminating over what I don’t have.
    I just want to wish all the single ladies around the world who subscribe to this fantastic blog and to you too Mandy….here’s hoping you all have a very Merry Christmas filled with the peace and love of Christ in whatever form it may come. xxx

  31. sunshinedays
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you. A much needed post at this time of year.

  32. December 9, 2014

    This was SO timely Mandy. Thank you isn’t enough.
    This is the 4th year through the holiday season that I’ve felt dread & depression. Before I read this just now I was lying here in the dark & God was whispering encouragement to me over a “dodged bullet” I had fallen for last year. The only one since my marriage ended in ’11. And that I could trust Him with every little aspect of my life. And then I chevk my email and BAM- there it is. Your post.
    It made me think- really think. And to be more grateful for where I am. And other things. You stirred my pot. I am ok with being single too. But I also am weary in the waiting. Thank you again for being our voice & our cheerleader. I am looking forward to what 2015 holds for us all. Much love & grace in the waiting!

  33. Karen
    December 9, 2014

    I don’t remember how I found this blog, but ever since I did, I have felt so blessed by your messages. I feel a bit of a tribe here, when I read the comments, and it is good to know that there are so many wonderful people waiting as well. Our time is here, every day that we wake up and can count our blessings, and there are only more miracles to come.

  34. Nikki
    December 9, 2014

    Great blog!! Just what I needed today:)

  35. Cathi
    December 9, 2014

    This was what I so needed to read. It really hit home on how I am feeling around this holiday season. I am trying to have faith and beleive but sometimes its really hard. But I really liked the “why are you expected ur dreams to come true if you dont beleive they will.” So ladies I will beleive because all of you do !!!

  36. Eva
    December 9, 2014

    I shouldn’t have read this in public. I wanna burst in tears, this was so beautifully written and also, hit me right in the heart. I too, am ready for that next chapter of my life…. and as much as I know everything happens in God’s timing; the sting of waiting is real. thank you Mandy. God has used you to touch so any of us single ladies. I will listen more in this time of Advent. Be blessed.

  37. December 9, 2014

    The attitude one keeps while waiting………………….is the utmost! wonderful piece. thank you!thank you!! thank you!!!

  38. Mattie
    December 9, 2014

    Mandy ,you are so right (as always:) .G-d cont.. to show me to :SEEK HIS KINGDOM “FIRST” AND “ALL” THESE THINGS WILL BE ADDED TO YOU ” G-d does want our hearts desires and needs met for sure,i know he does ,he loves us so much and ONLY wants whats best for us. He knows our hearts soooo much more than we do. he also told me, that I was settleing when I picked Mr.Big back up for the 2nd time ,and i may have missed out on his BEST for me that I have to live with ,because we do reap what we sow for sure .lets try to run this race with G-ds best for us in mind and keep our eyes on the prize of Heaven ,and I know G-d will do whats best for us .* honestly I am starting to “settle” into life,and may have missed my chances ,but I do pray for all of you out there ,you are NEVER alone.not really .we must see that .
    ps.* to HAL ,how old are you Hal ? and where do you live ? we could hook you up maybe with some of these lonley hearts on here 🙂 wouldnt that be funny
    p.s.s To Mandy .: its the “peanut oil ” that they cook in that makes the chicken so yummy:)

  39. Maureen
    December 9, 2014

    Oh my God! This article just helped me to feel better! I took the courage of ending a two years relationship and an engagement and I was so depressed for being alone during the holidays!

    I thought that after this break up I would never find the right person for me, and therefore I would have to settle! But after reading this I realize that God is just preparing me for something better, and in the meantime I’ve to learn how to be with myself and love and appreciate every single moment of being alone!

    Thank you for those kinds words! Now I’m not sad of being on my own in this time of year! God bless you

  40. Leigh M
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you for this beautiful message Mandy! It is such a relief to know that others feel the same way, we are not alone in our heightened awareness of being alone during the holidays. You offer a different perspective, one that focuses on hope instead of dread. I have started my own tradition this year, since the stockings over my fireplace are empty, and would only be filled by me alone, I am writing a message to my soulmate every day in December, and placing it in my stocking, and then I say thank you God for I know you will not leave me here, thank you for bringing him to me!

  41. Precious
    December 9, 2014

    God’s timing is perfect. Thank you for this wonderful message and God bless

  42. December 9, 2014

    yep. I wrote about it . but the idea of waiting like anna is pretty interesting. sometimes there are real seasons of waiting makes the gift more special.

  43. Caroline
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you for this beautiful post on advent. It is during this Christmas season that I feel most alone. I am a single mom of 2. Within the past month my boyfriend and I of 2 years have split. Even after my divorce I did not feel as alone as I do now. My sadness has taken away any pleasure of this season. I feel like I am going through the motions of life and feel nothing. After reading this post any many responses I am trying to restore my faith in god, in life, in myself. It is extremely difficult. Everyone keeps telling me to “find myself.” What does that even mean? Like many in our population of single women, I am educated, independent, and I think a pretty ok catch. So why, after 8 years now of disappointments and sadness does it continue? Anyway, here’s to advent, hope and waiting. I wish you all peace and love.

    • Wondering
      January 11, 2015

      Hi Caroline. I hope your holiday was eventually filled with peace. Yeah, that “find yourself” comment (which is especially piercing when it comes from a married folk) can be very frustrating. Also the comment: “You first have to be happy with just you” — which of course is true; but like many of you are saying here, you ARE o.k. with “just you” but are still sad about not having a partner. Why do folks think that being sad about not having a partner with whom to share life equates to not being happy with one’s self? Sigh. Another very frustrating misconception about single women who are longing for companionship, intimacy, connectedness. And I wish I could answer your question of why it continues…I wrestle with the same question. The “when God?” question comes to heart and mind quite frequently, and especially during the holidays. Although unfortunately there are many times apart from the holidays that tend to trigger me — like what you, Mandy, mentioned above: another wedding, another baby-on-the-way, another grandchild-on-the-way…and none of them mine. I am having my own personal hard time continuing to wait without getting angry at God right now. Thankfully He knows and understands. Peace and love to you…and you all…as well.

  44. Chara
    December 9, 2014

    Thank you! This is confirmation for me! I almost accepted a date with someone I knew wasn’t right for me. I started thinking wrong, ” this might be my last chance” “I haven’t been on a date in so long” “It’s christmastime”. I finally came to my senses and realized those are all wrong reasons to say yes to a date for. This couldn’t have been more on time, Mandy. Thank you!

  45. nicole
    December 9, 2014

    Thank ubfir this post. I was thinking abt this season of waiting recently, & i heard God tell me “if you haven’t received it yet, it’s cuz it isnt gpod enough for YOU yet…” i am still growing in relationships with God but to really start to accept that He onlt wants what’s best for me, it blesses my heart. My mentor told me once that “everybody orders chicken tenders & they dont take long to make. But if you order a steak specially made, it takes longer. And most folks really prefer steak ovee chicken fingers but 1. Are impatient 2. Can’t afford the steak.” This metaphor for waiting amd expecting for God’s best for marriage has really helped me settle down in my heart. Ladies, be encouraged and let’s wait in expectation for some great steak!!!

  46. dashiell
    December 9, 2014

    Ilove it!! :)makes me so inspired too pursuing not man But God. The Lord!! It is He that sustains me.. All these years, Icouldn’t do it on myown. Ilove even more, to see otherWomen waiting, not acting nunb,but waiting, with hope and expectation..helps me to know, it is OK to believe the Lord for His match.. Not my flesh.. Ihad enough of that!! It’s a journey, along one, not easy, but worth It.. Eight years or not, I’m Worth The Wait. And God is to.. I’ll wait. If It Don’t Come, Iknow I’ll get it in Heaven.. :)something greater Bless You

  47. December 10, 2014

    Thank you for this. I needed so much to be reminded of what Christmas means for me as as single, especially this year. The waiting is so hard, but like you, I know it will be worth it.

  48. Kaila
    December 10, 2014

    Thank you so much for these words. They are what I needed to see today. I love Christmas more than any other time of year. I do not live close to my family and look forward to going home every year. As I grow older and my younger cousins grow older and start to bring there significant others to our family gathering my family looks at me with despair. Last year after Christmas my Dad sent me a card with a “Dear Abby” newspaper clipping about some people don’t ever find there “someone”. From my OWN Father! I am OK with my “singleness”, actually I enjoy it more and more every day, but there is something about this year that I am feeling more and more lonely. I have wonderful friends but the photos of there happy family in the mail this year isn’t giving me the joy that it once had (they are on my fridge all year till the next ones arrive). I thank you again for these words and helping remember that the time is not mine. It is in Gods hands. I will continue to remember those words. It is in Gods hands.

  49. Rudo
    December 10, 2014

    Wow soo needed that, one of my younger cousin’s just got engaged and yes i feel the pressure only coz my family now awaits my “happy ending”..but i praise God for this post coz we each have a specific destiny and path and there is a time for every phase of our lives. So i believe this is our season of waiting so lets rejoice together ladies and appreciate all that we have.

  50. Dee Kaye
    December 10, 2014

    Thanks, Mandy, for addressing this. I too am tired of waiting. In my case I am now single after becoming a widow almost 6 years ago. So not only am I ALONE at the holidays, but I also am reminded constantly of what used to be, but is no more. I have no family (on my side) left, either. I’ve made my online friends my substitute family, but they’re all scattered all over the U.S. and the world, not here or close enough to go visit. Indeed it’s a tough time of year to be single. So…still waiting for whatever is in store for me. I hope something is.

  51. Kyla
    December 10, 2014

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I’ve been struggling with this concept as of late. I’m tired of waiting. It’s frustrating. I’m so grateful this came across my IG!

  52. Suzanne
    December 11, 2014

    Thank you… I needed to hear that….

  53. Tanya
    December 11, 2014

    Thank you much for the blog! It was very timely for me. Christmas time is always hard for me when I am still single year after year. A guy I used to like is now dating someone and the feelings of rejection came up again after 2 years. I thought I was over him. I am praying for God to give me grace to keeping moving ahead. I know God has someone for me, but waiting is hard.

  54. December 11, 2014

    Great post! SO glad God put this on your heart to share. I am single myself and the holidays do get tough, especially when I want to do things like go to my company Christmas party and EVERYONE either has their spouse with them, or their “potential” with them. It can really get lonely, so I pray for God’s peace and reassurance this holiday season for you, myself, and all the beautiful singles reading this article. Your really strong Mandy! Keep doing what your doing.

  55. December 11, 2014

    You always give a wonderful spin on things and what seems to be something I needed to hear this morning than most. Doubting myself lately and what is in store for me and if I’m in the right place or just the right place right now. So many questions running through my head that at times it overwhelms me. When all I need to do is be patient in my waiting and know that God has it all worked out.

  56. Debbie
    December 13, 2014

    Thank you, Mandy. This has hit me hard this week. I used to love this season and in the last several years I just want to skip it altogether, for the reasons you mentioned. I have a dear friend who helped me decorate my Christmas tree because she knows I get down about not having my own family to celebrate with. Then I think of those that don’t have anything, and I feel guilty for being downat all. My church gives us the opportunity to buy gifts for children who wouldn’t have any Christmas gifts otherwise. So this year I have three “daughters” , which helps my perspective. Thank you for the reminder of silence, and expressing our hearts to God. I need to believe how much He loves me and wants to hear from me. Blessings on you and all of you ladies this Christmas season.

  57. Mirry
    December 15, 2014

    …there is nothing hard than waiting…..i am just so tired..honestly

  58. Fhely
    December 16, 2014

    Wow. This article is very timely. I am glad that I chanced upon this blog. I know that nothing is an accident, this is God’s way of reminding me about the beauty of waiting. Thank you 🙂

  59. AnnaJ
    December 16, 2014

    I was walking around today feeling weary of waiting, wearily of being alone.. Just feeling low and down and sad. And then randomly clicked your link on my Twitter feed. Feelings I felt so strong today that were painful, were so uplifted your words of faith. Words I so needed to hear. I breath in blessings, I breath out gratitude. And I thank you for this post. Happy Holidays.

  60. Jocelyn
    December 17, 2014

    So needed to hear this. Just broke up with a guy I had been seeing for a few months and I just knew it wasn’t right. This was right on time. Thank you so much for your wisdom. Your such a blessing.

  61. Mimi
    December 18, 2014

    It still hurts. Its been 12 yrs since my divorce. And i am living in the will of God…trying my best. Waiting still hurts at times esp now

  62. December 19, 2014

    This just made me cry. This season is hard for me this year, in letting go of something so unhealhy. Someone who I thought was a best friend, but in my heart I know, he’s no good for me. I want god to bring the right man into my life and I have grown beyond weary now and the noise just gets louder and louder every year, BUT.. You made a good point when you said if god is silent, to talk to him. I just said the longest prayer out loud to god, crying, but just in that, I feel better. Also, like the idea of waiting and believing! I think believing is the part I’ve grown weary on as well. More like bitter nowadays. BUT thank you for this. Thank you for sharing and letting us know that we aren’t the only single lady with crazy Christmas decor and taken advantage of at repair shops. Lol Wishing all you ladies, blessings, love and peace- Merry Christmas!

  63. Ash
    December 23, 2014

    -sigh- ah boy I needed that. Every time I happen upon a friend from high school or my recent past life, they are either newly engaged or newly wed. And I’m here twiddling thumbs, with no prospects or anything close. This is my favourite time of the year and no amount of other people’s(couples) happiness will dampen my spirits. Alas, I will continue to wait and be patient and steadfast.

  64. Cheryl
    December 24, 2014

    Definitely a wonderful post and the comments too. God does only have the best for us and I truly believe that we do need to be prepared properly – “prepare him room” :).

  65. Jane
    December 24, 2014

    Absolutely beautiful post, Mandy! Your words brought tears to my eyes! Thank you!

  66. Lenore
    December 27, 2014

    Such a timely blog post for the holidays! As the holidays have fast approached and are now fading into the past I have had very similar thoughts and your blog has helped to inspire me to write a post of my own. From your post in November, I plan on making 2015 my God year and getting back to my roots of daily devotions. You are such an inspiration, I can only hope my post may inspire someone like you have been inspiring me!

    http://unabashedlyyou.blogspot.com/2014/12/breaking-holding-pattern.html

  67. Sisca
    December 29, 2014

    What a blessed article. Thanks Mandy. I really need to read it this time.
    God bless you

  68. Ashley
    December 30, 2014

    This was so on time for me. I’ve been praying daily for months for God to speak to me and he has through you. Thank you for your words of encouragement. The love you have for God shines through and is a blessing to me. God truly does love us and even when I think he has forsaken me, I know that in His time, HE will deliver what is meant for me.

  69. Am
    January 2, 2015

    Thank you so much for this! I read it and then reread it because I could relate to all of it! When I read your list of things you are weary of I said, “yes, yes, yes!” It’s such a good reminder that God is here in the waiting.

  70. Jessica
    January 4, 2015

    This post is a blessing to me.

  71. Melissa
    January 4, 2015

    Thank you so much for your writing Mandy. I read The Single Woman and subsequently found this blog. I have read many of your posts and while they are always special, this one spoke directly to my heart. Your list of ‘weariness’ is mine, too. It is my life as a fellow single woman, and one I never imagined living. But it is mine and I must press on, despite the weariness. I admire your faith. I am a Christian too, but struggle with my faith. I try to remember that Jesus is never farther away than my own heart, but sometimes I feel he has forgotten me and the dream he placed in my heart to love and be loved. My own Mr E almost destroyed me, but I am pressing on. Stay strong, nurture your faith, and keep dreaming. I believe in you, and that makes it easier to believe in me.

  72. Wondering
    January 11, 2015

    Like everyone else, I want to thank you for this post Mandy, which like for many, brought tears. And being able to hear the hearts of others helps so much too. Like Debbie shared about the guilt: I feel guilty about the resentment I feel when invited to yet another wedding, baby shower, etc. I WANT to be happy for the person/couple, but all-too-frequently the often over-riding emotion is (like Heather shared) bitterness…at the “happy couple/mother” (what did they/she do???!!!!) or just as bad if not worse…at God. And so often, I don’t know what to do with those feelings…which recently have gotten so overpowering (except when at work…thank God for work right now) that I don’t even want to go to places where family is going to be talked about or prayed for…where folks are going to share stories about their children or grandchildren (and where does this NOT happen?!)…simply because I don’t want to experience envy, bitterness, or anger. (But one can’t just sequester one’s self from the very activities that may in fact bring joy and friendship/fellowship!). I so appreciate this newly-discovered blog and all of you for sharing your thoughts/hearts.

    • Sophie
      January 13, 2015

      I totally identify with your feelings. I have been there all too often as my peers are long married with children who are almost teenagers. Some friends can also be insensitive so it doesn’t help. All I can say is you are not in this journey alone

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