The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Heroine…or Victim?

Quote of the Day:

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ~Nora Ephron

The Single Woman Says:

Yesterday, writer Nora Ephron passed away, much to my sadness, and though she was viewed by some as a bit of a controversial figure – very vocal about feminism, politics, etc. – to me she was simply the genius who brought us beloved films like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail. Someone who always made me think with her brilliant weaving of words into beautiful and often hopelessly romantic tapestries. To honor her, I wanted to find some of her best quotes to post throughout the day today, and none spoke to me as loudly as the one above.

I think that it’s often tempting in life to play the victim – to allow yourself to feel defeated, beaten down, and unfairly targeted – as a way to soothe yourself when something bad happens, even if you brought it on yourself. I also think that there is nothing more detrimental to the person you’re going to become than your ability or inability to rise up and shake off the dust when someone kicks you there. Ultimately, whether you choose to play the victim or the heroine determines what kind of ending you get. People who choose to play the victim, who always feel attacked, and who always look for reasons to be angry and resentful and vengeful write a script for themselves that fits their bitter mindset, playing no mind to actual reality. They miss out on so many opportunities for happiness because they’re too busy chasing drama. And they write a lot of critical characters out of the script because the darkness in their own soul feels threatened by the other person’s light. They love themselves so little that they feel they have to constantly create disasters and problems and turmoil in their lives to make people love them more. Even negative attention is good attention to a victim.

A heroine, on the other hand, refuses to be defeated by anything or anyone. A heroine knows she holds the pen of her life story, and that NO ONE is in control of her happiness OR her sadness except her. A heroine loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, tries again, perseveres – no matter what life throws at her. And a heroine walks in the quiet confidence of her worth, without striving or chasing or seeking or clamoring for attention, and because of this, she gets it.

Today: Realize that you are the casting director of your own life. Then make your choice: Heroine or Victim. One looks for other people to blame for her miseries. The other takes her miseries and turns them into something positive to help other people. Which will you be?