Days Eight & Nine: Not Everything You Lose is a Loss

I’m still a few days behind on the challenge…but I’m working on getting caught up! And you’re welcome to join in at any time, on any day. You don’t have to go in order and you can pick and choose the days you want to do! Because around here, we are wild and crazy like that! 🙂

Day 8: In Chapter Five of You Are Enough, I talk about unanswered prayers and how they can often be the biggest blessings in disguise. Share an unanswered prayer of your own and how it helped you see that sometimes God’s “no” is the most gracious answer of all.

Day 9: In Chapter Six, I talk about the end of a relationship that sent me spiraling into a dark place. Talk about a heartbreak of your own that you experienced, and what it taught you, about yourself and about life.

I couldn’t help but notice as I was scrolling through my blogging challenge posts so far that almost every one of them deals with the subject of loss. Which is fitting, because throughout the events that you read about in You Are Enough…I learned not just to accept loss but to even embrace it as just another part of the journey. A necessary part. A part that allows you to purge your life of the things that you never really needed to begin with to make room for the things you always wanted but never dared dream you could have.

Which is a perfect segue to today’s blogging challenges: unanswered prayers…and heartbreak. Two topics that are intrinsically linked. I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when I have actually pleaded with God to make a relationship that just wasn’t working…work. To bring someone back into my life who He helped remove from my life to begin with. To say yes to my endless requests to just give me one more shot at the relationship because I just KNEW this time would be different. Countless nights spent on my knees saying countless prayers begging for countless yes’s to a God who was thankfully merciful enough to tell me NO.

Here’s the thing. As I posted on Instagram the other day, they didn’t leave your life. God moved them. So to turn around and bring someone back into your life who He loved you enough to remove from your life is just simply not in God’s nature. (Please bear in mind that I am referring to friendships and romantic relationships that end naturally. I am in no way referencing people lost to us by death.)

There has never been a time when God has given me a “No” about a romantic relationship that the situation hasn’t eventually been turned around for my good. It just hasn’t happened. As you read about in You Are Enough, the on-again, off-again relationship that dragged on for ten long years of my life robbed me of so much, well…LIFE. And God finally taking it away from me once and for all was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It forced me to confront my issues. It forced me to confront MYSELF. God not answering my prayers to bring this relationship back to life forced me to let things die that needed to die for a very long time. Had he given me a “yes” when I begged for it, I would still be stuck in an endless vicious cycle of pain, and disappointment, and heartache. His “No” forced me to let go. Not just to let go of the man I thought I loved, but to let go of the parts of me that felt so desperate to hold onto someone who so obviously didn’t love me for more than a decade. The end of that relationship was the beginning of everything else and I am so grateful that God let my prayers about it go “unanswered.”

So, today…if you’re feeling like God has turned His face from you or is just simply ignoring your prayers…please hold tight to the beautiful knowledge that He hears all, He sees all, He knows all. He isn’t ignoring you. He hasn’t forgotten you. He just loves you too much to give you a “yes” now that would cost you His best later.

You can get my book You Are Enough: Heartbreak, Healing, and Becoming Whole at any bookstore or order it here.

Join in my #30DayBloggingChallenge at any time! If you don’t have a blog, feel free to share your stories each day on any of your social media platforms, or even use the space in the comments below. Just make sure you tag your posts #YouAreEnough30 so we can all follow each other’s journeys!


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