The Mason Jar

Mason-jars-in-sinkI wrote this over a month ago. It took me this long to feel ready to post it. A month later and my house barely remembers his visit. 

I like to believe that in a few more months like this…my life will feel just as wiped clean of his memory.

A week ago he walked into my house and with his words, attempted to tear it all down. Brick by brick, the words flew and the foundation crumbled. It shook. It swayed.

But it stayed standing.

The mason jar I served him lemonade in still sits in the sink, filled with soapy water. It’s funny that as a woman, there was an inherent need in me to be a good hostess and serve him refreshments at the breaking of my own heart. I remember being excited to use my new mason jars. Excited to invite him into my new home and my new life. A life, as it turns out, he wanted absolutely no part of.

I cleaned my house for days in advance of his visit. I wanted everything to be perfect. There was no way I could have known that REAL would never be perfect to him. The vacant, flimsy exterior of a movie set was what he was looking for…not the weight of a real life. Glitter, not gold. Sparkle, not substance. He wasn’t built to go any deeper than the surface.

The mason jar I served him lemonade in still sits in the sink, exactly one week later. The lemonade is gone, and so is he. Maybe if I just keep the glass unwashed, it will undo the past week and the words that he said. Maybe the cracks in my heart will be filled, like the soapy water filling the glass that I swirl and swish, playing with the remnants of that painful day and watching the bubbles dance around the glass like he danced around my life for eight long years.

But do I want to undo it? Do I want to go back? And do I really want him to come back, knowing what I know now?

The answer rings loudly in my soul, different from the one my heart gives, but instantly I recognize it as truth.

Silently I wash the glass and put it away.

91 Responses to “ The Mason Jar ”

  1. Cry
    November 1, 2014

    I struggle with deleting texts from the man I love because reading them made me felt he cared but he’s actions show differently, so I finally deleted the words and just accept the reality, you gotta act on what you say or don’t say it at all

  2. Jazmine
    November 1, 2014

    Yay for you slowly healing!! That is really awesome. You’re much stronger than I am in my current situation

  3. Karina Mauricio
    November 1, 2014

    I am confused and irritated to think that you are talking about Mr. E. I just finished reading your book & you gave me inspiration to start my new life as a single woman and embrace it. But if I read correctly, you’ve been holding on to the past.

    • Mandy Hale
      January 3, 2015

      I’m sorry I’m not as perfect & infallible as you thought, friend. But no one is. Love, Mandy

  4. donna
    November 1, 2014

    Mine was 11 years. I am proud of you. Do your hands still shake like mine?

  5. Janett
    November 1, 2014

    Thank you I needed to hear this ,

  6. Janette
    November 1, 2014

    Your words are amazing. I hope you are getting stronger and stronger and you see now why God did not want that man in your path. It may not e as easy as washing the Mason Jar but it’s the opening to wash away the old and letting the new come in.

    • aretha
      November 9, 2014

      I’m having a hard time getting over a nigga that destroyed my life its like I can’t get him off my mind & he’s gone on with his life he’s 47 & she’s only a baby 22 I need some advise in guilding me to walk away & deal with the heart broken.

  7. Kenyatta
    November 1, 2014

    You are such a inspiration.

  8. BJ Mooney
    November 1, 2014

    This is my life. My high school sweetheart found me after 30 years. Stayed with me on weekends. After a month into it he decides, he doesn’t like how I parent my son, how there is no shade for my dogs and that I’d rather sit around and do nothing. Grant it I lost my job 18 days before that so I was grieving that and he stays the night, took me to dinner, and went to work that morning, calls me that evening he can’t do this anymore. That was the end of July. I’m still not over him. I’ve loved this man my whole life. Everything I watch, listen to, places I go. Its about him and can’t seem to stop crying.

  9. Fi
    November 1, 2014

    you will find a Mason jar that you will never want to put back on a shelf x

  10. beverly
    November 1, 2014

    When you keep affirming you are in a better place there will come a time when you would have to fight to remember. Then you would know you are healing. Years later you will smile when you revognize his face. Then you will know you are healed.

  11. Marissa
    November 1, 2014

    Thanks for being transparent! ❤️

  12. Cheryl
    November 1, 2014

    Been there, Done that!!!! It hurts all the way to your soul, but you learn to move on!!!

  13. November 1, 2014

    You will know when to let go…let yourself be heard! I learned this too after 7 long sad years of not listening to myself .

  14. Denisse
    November 1, 2014

    This speaks volumes right now! As a week ago the man whom has danced around in my life for the past four years, came around with his words and wormed his way in again, I showed him my new home, my new life, only for him to stay around for just one week and a week later he is no longer around yet again and now for good. I made the decision to cut the cord knowing that he is no good for me as I have always known but now as confirmation from God has been given and o can finally close the doors and look ahead to way the Lord truly has for me, I too clean my house and wash away every residue left by him and I welcome Gods love as it fills all the places that occupied my love for that man who was never worthy of it. Thank you so much for sharing!

  15. Gerri
    November 1, 2014

    That was a huge step! *Hugs*

  16. Ashley
    November 1, 2014

    This is amazing. I’m 27 and it’s been almost a year since my 4 year relationship ended, and I still don’t feel healed. He’s moved on and engaged in 6 months. I just don’t know.

  17. Tamara
    November 1, 2014

    Mandy, Everytime I read your words and the dances that your heart, mind & feelings went through I feel as if you are in my own self. I have never been able to identify so profoundly with an author I have never met. I am a mason jar who is slowly day by day trying to fill the deep cracks that “someone” left in my life. Someday it will be our turn again to have that one true lasting love dance with us through life. Stay true to yourself and have faith that it will happen…

  18. Nichelle Hughes
    November 1, 2014

    Everytime I blinked, while reading this, my life flashed before my eyes!!

  19. Bonnie
    November 1, 2014

    I cried when reading this..i have cried a lot lately due to a broken heart. I have made the decision to move on as well i know I’m better off and God has a different plan for me..its the waiting that’s got me..Thank you so much for sharing with us

  20. Myra
    November 1, 2014

    Mandy thank you for sharing this. I have been hoping, wishing I had an answer to a recent situation. One that I know I won’t get. As I realized that he didn’t find me worthy of an explanation of why it all changed over 24hours, I wish I could change him walking into my life. I have learned in the last days that those thoughts are to be put away and rather be thankful from what I have learned.

  21. Gracieuse JeanPierre
    November 1, 2014

    Thank you. I needed this.

  22. RHardin
    November 1, 2014

    Simply…..thank you! The same exact thing happen to me….your blog, book and words are a blessing! The BEST is yet to come!

  23. Lori
    November 1, 2014

    At least he came to you and TOLD you instead of just disappearing like what happened to me! My “mason jar” was dried roses I was using for decorations from the many roses he gave me! He just stopped calling/coming around…completely…without a word! About a year later I threw all of them out. His loss!!!

  24. lin
    November 1, 2014

    I also went through a tough breakup. 7years of relationship that just ended with a phonecall saying i need space lol…it was so hard to start a new life when all your life you built it with him, acceptance of the reality that he is no longer yours took time…i tried so hard but still no progress..then i realize do i really need to base my happiness thru him? Do i really have to beg so he would comeback? I had given him so much but still he gave up…and that hits me…i had given so much that i have nothing left for myself…so i started loving me back…doing the things i forgot i loved and becoming focused to being better
    Now im happy because of me and not because i have someone new…its all me♥

  25. Phiona
    November 1, 2014

    This is so powerful maybe because I am reading my story but l guess I could not articulate it like this, an amazing read and how wonderful of you to share it.

    I was in the same kind of relationship, only he did not only walk away from me but also from his beautiful daughter. It took me time to realise he could not handle the depth of a relationship and felt guilty for a long time as I took it to the next level (I choose not too have an abortion)

    He left when my daughter was 2 months old and now she’s almost 2 years old but I have never been happier. He had every excuse under the sun and when she finally arrived he had no more excuses and could not run away quick enough…..good ridden!

    I’m ready for a new book, not a new chapter in my life. I thank God every day for the strength He gives me daily to go on with my beautiful daughter and the contentment I feel.

    Stay strong, they were definitely NOT the right men for us. Keep your head up because someone else will notice your beauty in and out

  26. Makaylin
    November 1, 2014

    Thank you so much for doing what you do. I couldn’t do this without living vicariously through you.

  27. Kelly Paciencia
    November 1, 2014

    That was my relationship. Word for word I felt that way , waited 2 years for him to enter my new home & want to enter my new life..but just like you, all he had was negativity & tore down every aspect of my success & he wanted no part of it. Only difference was it was a coffee mug, with his initials on it, for him, when he visited. He never did again, I realized GOD didn’t want him in my life ( he was atheist) & needed to show me just how much my Savior loves me to protect me from a future that was filled with pain & uncertainty. Still I’m single, but in HIS timing my husband will find me. Til THEN I lean on the lover of my soul for understanding. GOD is GOOD ..all the time.

  28. Dina
    November 1, 2014

    Thank you for sharing your ups and downs of life and relationships that break our hearts. I find a sense of comfort and peace in the mists of the pain knowing I am not alone in feeling what I feel. Your words always speak to my soul, they put in words what I feel. Thank you for all you do for us single women by speaking your truth. God bless you always, know you make a difference everyday.

  29. marissa
    November 1, 2014

    So on time !! Going through a similar situation at this very moment! With an ex boyfriend who was and continues to go to my church . Where we met as a matter a fact . & in the 2 yrs . We have been split up ….. He continues to give me mixed messages ! I have been battling w/ this off & on for two yrs . Back and forth ! As of today we spoke & I told him I was finally closing the door between us ….. Because it just wasn’t goin anywhere!,& to which he responded ” That door was never open ” !! That hurt me like a ton of bricks !!! Although he thinks it’s okay to make sexual gestures to me when we talk on the phone.But he needs to make no kind of commitment!!!.. It’s hard for me because he still attends our church & I’m on the praise team & have to see him in our congregation. PLEASE keep me in prayer that God give me the strength to finally keep closed this chapter in my life ! Cuz it’s tearing me apart & gettin me nowhere . & I have been called into ministry ! Thank u so Much for this ! So needed it ! Conformation ! God Bless u & continue to use u in your writings! =)

  30. Been
    November 1, 2014

    Been there before and you stare it at and replays back and forth over and over…….

  31. Andrea
    November 1, 2014

    My mason jar needs washing. I just haven’t done it yet.

  32. Marivic Cruz
    November 1, 2014

    I hope I can be like you … So strong to overcome those pains and heartbreaks:-( your words inspires me always❤️

  33. Kap17
    November 1, 2014

    I know how you feel- my live in ex of 1.5 years dumped me by text the day I started rad therapy for breast cancer. I was torn between between not even moving things around to prove he had been a part of my life and wanting to wipe my life clean of his mere presence. I opted to wipe the slate clean, so to speak. Unfortunately his presence is etched in my memory….

    We are strong, smart women. I look forward to the day I can get through without thinking of him

  34. Dee
    November 1, 2014

    No matter the woman, no matter the place, their words leave pain and emptiness in our hearts. Stay strong!

  35. Jennifer
    November 1, 2014

    Very inspiring I’m going through a similar situation…leaving a 5 yr relationship isn’t EASY but i daily note that my WORTH is way more then what he was offering.

  36. laura
    November 1, 2014

    I love reading your writing… my heart screams for a second chance as well but my mind knows the truth… I watched a movie today and in my minds eye I saw his face… I know what we had is gone forever yet my heart still yearns… thank you for your writings… it helps to know there is someone else who seems to know what my heart is feeling… I truly hope to heal in time…

  37. Tonya
    November 1, 2014

    Loving your blog. ((Hugs))

    • Miriam
      November 1, 2014

      Great story. I have been there, sadly too many times. Getting my own hopes up…wishing they somehow transformed. If you haven’t read Tosha Silver’s Outrageous Openness book, you need to. Especially the chapter that has a section on letting go. It states, “When in doubt, Clean.” The washing of that mason jar could be only the start of your “cleaning…”

  38. Lisa
    November 1, 2014

    wow!! I can so relate! My “mason jar” is a voice mail on my phone from March. In my heart I keep thinking if I don’t delete it he’s not really gone. (((Hugs)))

  39. November 1, 2014

    This is brilliant and speaks volumes to me. Thank you.

  40. Bibi
    November 1, 2014

    8 yrs so sad, three and I can relate. Love all your stories and blogs, keep em coming. HUGGZ

  41. Magenta
    November 1, 2014

    This is just spot on to what I feel now. Ours was short, whirlwind relationship. I thought he was the answer to my prayer. But then, he really didnt intend to stay too long. Healing will come soon…

  42. Stacey
    November 1, 2014

    Mandy, I’m finding truth, support, and hope in your posts. This is no different. Takes me back to 7 years ago and the moment I thought I’d never recover. Fifteen years tossed away. You’ll get through this.

  43. Charlie
    November 2, 2014

    I had a similar experience very recently that left me feeling hollow. I have yet to shake the feeling, but perhaps I just need to wash a few dishes. 🙂 Thank you for sharing and for being an inspiration to others…helps us stay strong and remember to follow our true feelings, not just what we hope will happen but likely never will.

  44. Mayank
    November 2, 2014

    Dear Mandy, i read ur dash of sass of
    nt chasing people, i agree with u. But i
    m cnfused. When i leave chasing i m
    happy, yet this little thing keeps
    eating me that since i cudnt fight
    anymore thats why i surrendered, and
    then i again start chasing, isnt there
    anythng that can satisfy me on both
    parts, i mean nt chasing people and nt

  45. Mary
    November 2, 2014

    There’s a name for men who come into your life and destroy/break your heart. They have a disorder called NPD… Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Please do your research and you will be able to put a label on it and know that you are not alone.

  46. November 2, 2014

    I felt the same when my ex left me. The days and weeks afterhe left, i “cleansed” my home of him. He met someone else. They had a “connection”. I was great to him, to his children and family. I Was a great friend and lover to him, but it wasn’t enough. He was worth me until someone “better” came along. The shine of the new girl disappeared and he begged me for months. But the reality was I realised he wasn’t good enough for me. He had nothing to offer me. Nothing to make my life better.

  47. Heather
    November 2, 2014

    Thanks for sharing I’ve been there .. I came home from work doing my nervous Saturday cleaning when the key went into the lock, the pup came running in licking kissing happy to see her mommy , unfortunately little did I know that was her goodbye kiss. Her name meant my heart and it was ironic that my heart had just shattered , He moved out 9 hours with not a word it it won’t matter or change anything . 3 years a lifetime planned a commitment to be together gone in 9 hours. It took 2 years to pick up the pieces and make my home a happy place to fill the voided closet space . But most importantly the void in my heart. I won’t say I’m over him but I am in the way I know how because the memories you don’t get over you smile and I don’t dwell on the negative , there was a lesson in it somewhere . After that day I never got the full closure but through mutual friends who are no longer mutual as part of my healing process I was able to piece together why he was such a coward. Thank you for sharing mandy and keep doing what you are doing , it will happen in god speed . Never lose hope, faith or love !

  48. Katie
    November 2, 2014

    God knows what we need even when we don’t! Heartbreak can eat you alive but it also makes you stronger then you ever imagined you can be! One day it will all make sense and believe it or not you will realize it was s good thing. 6 years ago I had my heart ripped out and didn’t think I would ever be ok but slowly, oh so very slowly, I was ok. I learned a lot about myself and that I am so much stronger then I ever thought. It changed me in a way that is forever, some good and some bad, but I now know and understand that he wasn’t good for me and that I was saved by his leaving.

  49. cheryl
    November 2, 2014

    Love it!

  50. November 2, 2014

    “The vacant, flimsy exterior of a movie set was what he was looking for…not the weight of a real life. Glitter, not gold. Sparkle, not substance. He wasn’t built to go any deeper than the surface.”

    So true, so so true. 🙁

  51. S
    November 2, 2014

    My Lord! These few words have shaken me to the core. Touched my heart in a way I was not prepared for. Thank you for sharing. You are helping to heal the broken.

  52. Connie
    November 2, 2014

    Koodos… a month? Yup… I can see that happening.. For me, it’s been almost one year that I finally gave up a four-year love/hate relationship. One of both the most incredible memories and the most destructive heart wrenching memories. It has taken this time to ween him away from me. One year to realize I love myself more than any man I have ever met, especially the last mistake! One year of struggle between my heart & my soul! The battle continues…. and my SOUL remains on the right path! I love this blog… and I am going to read your books in the next couple of days! Thanks for your honesty… YOU are not alone in this battle for TRUE LOVE.
    Warm Regards,

  53. sue luter
    November 2, 2014

    I love this….I nevr r thought it would happen to me twice but here I am….a survivor and moving on. God is good…with His help and that of my friends I will be ok.

  54. missy
    November 2, 2014

    Six long years for me. Thank you for sharing your real life. It helps those of us going thru exactly what you r going thru. Break ups are hard, but I have to believe there is bigger and better in store for me, and for u too!!

  55. Pebetse Rankwe
    November 3, 2014

    You have a beautiful soul and admirable strength. Love your art. Stay true…♥ ♡

  56. Ashley
    November 3, 2014

    You are an inspiration to so many women out there. In fact you are an inspiration to me. After going through my own heart break I stumbled across your book the single woman. The words of inspiration i found in that book helped me to realize while I wasn’t worth his time…to someone I would be worth everything. I realized I first had to value myself again before anyone else would see the value i had to offer. That first month was hard and the decision I made to leave was one of the toughest…but I have proven to myself just how strong I am. You too Are a strong and wonderful person! Never settle for less!

  57. November 3, 2014

    Thanks for sharing. It’s so difficult to put those feelings into words. well done.

  58. November 4, 2014

    Absolutely Beautiful post Mandy! God will supply all of your needs and HE is faithful. Remember all things happen for a reason and that just means God is saving you from him and his foolishness/baggage.

  59. November 4, 2014

    You have such a beautiful way of articulating your journey.

  60. Hopeful
    November 5, 2014

    Very inspirational and healing, my dear! I wash the mason jar daily, been doing it for 37 years.I guess I am full of hope when I go to sleep at night, or I wouldn.t be patient for all these 37 years. I have my ups and downs in life and try to forget the downs.I am trying to help my daughter who has just used her mason jar, and still trying to wash it, but lying in the sink.I am hopeful she will finally wash it, like you said, one day.Healing blog, thank you.

  61. Monica
    November 5, 2014

    There’s someone out there who is soooo much better for you. Can’t wait for you to meet him! The memory of the counterfeit (which always comes before the real thing), will be gone…just like the lemonade. 🙂 Thanks for sharing that.

  62. Elba
    November 5, 2014

    Not sure I am able to say anything right now. Still trying to swallow. I can say, the emotionally abusive relationship brought me to my knees, to a place where all I wanted to do was disappear. And that I did. Fortunately our God had other plans for me. I survived my suicide attempt. That was July of this year. I couldn’t live without him, I didn’t want to have life without him. He came back into my life and we’ve been trying. But he just left me again this weekend — 11/1. A weekend away visiting his son at school, returning to a week long of playing house, talking about getting married, my sharing w/ him the “ring.” Upon waking he was able to say I’m not feeling well, I just want to be left alone, to things escalating, to his saying don’t touch me, I don’t want to be with you anymore . . . I’m not sure how, but for ME, for my CHILDREN, for THE REST OF MY LIFE, I’m going to LIVE, TO SURVIVE, TO MOVE FORWARD TO THAT LIFE I DESERVE. THE EXAMPLE I SHOULD BE SETTING FOR MY DAUGHTER — AND THIS BLOG WILL BE PART OF MY SURVIVAL. No, no one does understand, the intensity of the pain unless you’ve lived it. Fortunately on this blog, we can share stories and for those who have overcome, can still remember how painful it was and its ok, its a process. BTW, this was my friend of 7 years. Someone who I met after my separation from my husband of 17 1/2 years (who 2 years later passed away in a fatal accident) and his separation of his wife. Him and I became friends. He was so dear to me. I never would’ve imagined he would have been the one to bring me to my knees. Thank you guys, thank you Mandy.

  63. Elba
    November 5, 2014

    BTW I now know why I’ve been walking around w copies of your blogs in my bag. I was going to need them. Including your books on my kindle.

  64. Ashley Raffelson
    November 5, 2014

    Thank you. Thank you. God is using you in my life! Be encouraged sister. My heart and my soul argue on a daily basis over my choices. I know we serve a God who will provide us beyond our biggest expectations. I remind myself more than daily.

  65. Lala
    November 6, 2014

    cried while reading your blog… its like you have written my story… He danced around my life for eight long years too…weve been together for 8yrs.. but i’ve known him since we were kids… I guess the only thing thats constant is change.. though I’m still having a hard time accepting the abrupt changes… I’m getting there… felt that i’m not alone while reading your blog..

  66. Val
    November 6, 2014

    It’s when you don’t let a heartbreak defeat you, that you come out stronger as a woman. All ready to love and give again. More power to you and all the women who pick up the pieces and move on in life. Cheers!

  67. Renata
    November 6, 2014

    Hi Mandy, I love your posts. The past month I have bumped into people that could have been the one, but life showed me that being single is not a bad thing for me right now. My life is filled with friends and family. And that’s ok. A man can’t define who we are.
    Friends tell me I will have to compromise and have to much of an idea what I want him to be. I’m sure there are things that I will have to compromise on, but some things are just not negotiable.

    Keep doing what you’re doing!

  68. Evelyn Mwinzi
    November 7, 2014

    You are a very strong…you inspire me! am learning to be stronger each day and am loving it!

  69. Christina
    November 9, 2014

    I never thought I’d be able to get the feeling of heart break away…it took months and unfortunately medication to help. I fell into a deep depression and could not handle the lack of normal breathing I deserved. I suffered from extreme anxiety and lost a whole lot of weight as I had absolutely no appetite. The series of events that lead up to the break up was like something out of crazy drama, at the end of it all, it was “I fell out of love with you”. It didn’t help that I lost my job a few months later…long story short…I deleted my facebook, returned his belongings, and I fell into the arms of my sisters and my mom. I can honestly say that 5 months later I am still picking up the pieces but I can genuinely smile again. Now I know why they call it the “Dirty Thirties”. I’m glad I found your blog. 🙂

  70. becy
    November 9, 2014

    ”Mandy god will not leave the wrong guy in your life because if he is standing by your side he would be in the way of the god given man that will one day want to stand by you side, persue you, and never let you go”. ”A man that truly loves a women does not let her leave him without a dam good fight!! I am being tested as I wait I’m 29 next year so no doubt I will be thirty and single soon enough but you know what I am content in the fact that gods love is a love that is not fleeting, it is CONSTANT”.

    ”Be encouraged Mandy and know that god does not place starong desires in our hearts to leave them unfulfilled he is full of grace and kindness and he is faithful, prayerfully allow him to guide you as you date ask him to pick the guy he wants for you honestly it really cuts out the hassle its amazing how he pritected me from making abig mistake by getting involved with the wrong guy I prayed and god told me to end communication with a guy I had been talking to for three months and had developed feelings for (I wear my heart on my sleeve and can fall in love quickly) thankfully though I was not IN LOVE with him.”

    ”But it was still very upsetting, but you know what god rescued me and showed me his love by protecting me from a marrige that would have been filled with misery and my unhappiness and possibly him having an affair, I have no regrets I’m stronger, smarter, wiser and I have a light living inside me that no man can dim and so do you Mandy, so do you”. 🙂 Love u, Becy.

  71. Barbara H.
    November 10, 2014

    I know how hard it can be living the single life. Sometimes I feel like my soul is crying out. Like a part of me is missing and there is an unmistakable void in me that I know God is going to fill one day. Being patient seems impossible in this journey of singlehood. With that said I am going to continue to be strong as I know you will be too. I wish you the best of luck in the single world. God bless.

  72. Stacey
    November 11, 2014

    Wow Mandy, so brave to share. Thank you!!! And to all you ladies who comment…. you are brave, beautiful and strong…. you are willing to be open and vulnerable and help the rest of us like me know we are not alone and all on a journey of being “with” our own hearts whilst we search for love too. Mwahxxxx

  73. koko
    November 11, 2014

    You are such a blessing to many. God used you to give me the courage and strength I didnt know I have. Words are not enough to tell you how much you helped me. In my darkest moment you directed me to go back to Him. In the most hurtful times, you reminded me that I can do it too. Thank you

  74. Stupidooooo
    November 14, 2014

    I have been through this too. I remember few months ago there was that moment when he helped me locking a beautiful bracelet, which he bought me for no reason, on my wrist. And I was stupid enough to stare at it the whole day long and wished I did not have to take it off because I wanted to save an freeze that moment and feeling. But I did it anyway because I know that what he did does not last and he does not deserve the kind of memory that I treasure him. He came back just to knock me down again. He excited me to only be more disappointed because he has never forgotten to leave and behaved like we are strangers the next day we meet.

  75. Penny
    November 16, 2014

    Hi Mandy

    I hope you will have the chance to see this note. I am a huge fan of yours, I follow your tweets, I follow your instagram, and I have purchased both your books. I’m residing far away from where you are, but I feel like you know exactly what we are going through. I’m single and alone in my 30s, and am trying to cope with this as best I can, but I have to admit that I am also extremely lonely and often times have no one to talk to.

    I completely understand as well the heartbreak you are going through yourself, as I too have had a Mr Big, but like so many others, left and walked away and never came back. He just didn’t love me, and for a long time, I felt it was because I wasn’t good enough.

    I also once shared with you that I’m not a Christian by faith, but I am now trying to take comfort and believe in a higher being up there, but that is also something I am trying to do alone but not very successfully. Your kindness and response to me then when I shared this made me want to try and pray and ask someone out there to help me. I have yet to see a sign… but I am hoping..

    In my search for forums for fellow single women, I also realise I couldn’t find one, or at least, one good one. There are forums for single parents and single dads/moms and thats great of course. But there isn’t a forum dedicated for single women/men in general.

    I was wondering if you have thought of creating a forum for us singles and your followers from all over the world to come together to share stories, provide support, and just to chat and talk in general when we are lonely. Sometimes all we want is just a friend who understands what you are going through. And who better to lead this forum than you yourself. I am sure your fans would love this support group too.

    Thank you for reading this and I hope you’ll take this into consideration. And many thanks again, for being the voice of us single women out there. Its an incredibly lonely and painful road and I am so glad you came to us.

    • Vanessa
      December 7, 2014

      Hi Penny

      Feel free to write to me if you like even though I’m in Australia as your comments completely resonated with me. My email address is [email protected] xx

    • Grace Smith
      December 7, 2014

      Hi Penny. I would love to chat with you and be a pen pal friend.



  76. julie t.
    November 18, 2014

    Hi Mandy,
    I’m so sorry you went through that. I can sympathize to an extent…I’ve had my sahre of “ugh!” moments with former fiances. One though really tore my heart apart and it took a few years for me to be ok…I always pray now for God to guide me and whoever is interested to ask me on a date. I wish life were different and that we didn’t have to go through pain like this, you know? I know though that God makes us to be stronger but I wish I didn’t have these experiences. lol.
    Thank you for your posts and tweets…very helpful.

  77. Jasmine Cote
    November 21, 2014

    It is almost like you want to laugh at how powerful you feel with God. Not in a mocking way, but in amazement. God allows us to keep going, move forward, push past that ache in our hearts. We hurt so much, but then God comes in and sweeps us up. That hurt doesn’t leave, it’s still there, but I feel God setting our mind on Him, and that stands mighty and tall and unbreakable.

  78. Tonya J
    December 6, 2014

    i needed to read this. I’ve been in love with a man for years and only recently came to terms with the fact he’s never loved me. I’m doing better but the holidays are very hard. Please keep up your recovery blog. It means so much to me.

  79. December 6, 2014

    Wow, moving sounds easy when one says it,but completely moving on means not feeling anything “jump” in you when you see the guy that walked out in you… like you mentioned. . That vthe Mason jars were still in your sink. . Unwashed.
    I’m recently single..early twenties. Id rather be miserable which is highly unlikely, than cross question myself on whether I dhould be with s person who doesn’t think of me when they’re day ends.
    Im in South Africa..Thanks for making your book available here.

  80. December 6, 2014

    Wow, moving sounds easy when one says it,but completely moving on means not feeling anything “jump” in you when you see the guy that walked out in you… like you mentioned. . That vthe Mason jars were still in your sink. . Unwashed.
    I’m recently single..early twenties. Id rather be miserable which is highly unlikely, than cross question myself on whether I dhould be with s person who doesn’t think of me when they’re day ends.
    Im in South Africa..Thanks for making your book available here.

  81. Mbali
    December 11, 2014

    life. Everything works out for good in Christ. He never gives more than his measure. And his rewards will justify.

  82. December 11, 2014

    Wow!!! This is so me. I’m a substance person constantly falling for a surface man. I used to do the same thing that you wrote about, making sure everything was perfect including myself when it really didn’t matter to them. It hurt deeply over and over again, same thing different man. I am finally tired and just decided to be single and do what makes me happy.

    • January 25, 2015

      You will feel much better when you find somebody who is more interpersonally compatible with you. It will feel strange at first, but you will never want to go back.

  83. January 23, 2015

    Like this mason jar. He broke with me last January 17 and its our 8 months together. I’m badly hurt and the bruises of heart is slowly healing i guess. 🙁 🙂 Sigh!

  84. January 25, 2015

    Nice post. However, to the guy who came over,”Hit the road, Jack.” I am grateful that after many years of work and in some cases, no contact, I have had closure and moved on from the previous men in my life so whenever I meet a new guy, I feel like I have a clean slate.

  85. February 8, 2016

    You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful arcitles.

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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only