Dash of Sass: Why You Haven’t Found What You’re Looking For

BetterSometimes we get mad and frustrated when we don’t find what we’re looking for. Or sometimes we find what we’re looking for but it’s not looking for us. But what we can’t see at the time is that the things that we DON’T find are the things that were never meant for us anyway. Pause a moment and consider the fact that maybe you haven’t found that dream job yet because God knows there’s a greater purpose you’re meant to fulfill with your life. Maybe you haven’t found that perfect apartment yet because you’re about to put down roots when God is trying to give you wings. And maybe you haven’t found that man yet because God knows you’re not ready for him. Or he’s not ready for you. Or you have your eye on someone who is unworthy of you and the gifts that you bring to this world and God loves you too much to allow you to settle. And maybe instead of getting upset and discouraged and frustrated about not finding what you’re looking for…get really, really grateful. Because the only time you don’t find what you’re looking for is when God has something far better waiting for you to discover. You’ve just gotta be patient in His timing and secure enough in your worth to know that you deserve the world.

Maybe you won’t find what you’re looking for today. And that’s okay. Something better is on its way.

41 Responses to “ Dash of Sass: Why You Haven’t Found What You’re Looking For ”

  1. Deidre Lee
    October 28, 2014

    Thanks for this I really needed to read this ♥

  2. Teresa
    October 28, 2014


    Omg, after coming out of an awful relationship which I gave so much and got so little, I was mad at God and it was then that He revealed to me exactly as your words state it: “God loves you too much to allow you to settle!”

    We never have to worry about settling because God won’t allow for it!

    Thank you for sharing, thank you for the reminder, thank you for your love of God, and thank you for all your good works and for being you!

  3. Cher
    October 28, 2014

    I really needed to read this today. Yesterday. Last week. Two years ago. I’ll probably need to read it again tomorrow. Maybe even the next day after that. Don’t really feel like I’m actively searching but yet feel like I should be more adamant about it. Hopefully one day, I WILL find what I’m looking for, what I’m not looking for. By gosh, I hope he is out there searching for me as well.

  4. katie payne
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you so much for that, i so needed it today.

  5. monique
    October 28, 2014

    Oh Mandy I hope you’re right. Absolutely everything in my life has been turned upside down, im so anxious to find a way to set things straight again; but all is elusive 🙁

    • bambi
      October 28, 2014

      I understand how u feel monique! My life was so perfect and then all of a sudden, things started getting worse. And when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I slipped into a terrible state of illness and depression, confusion and hurt. But God brought me out of it and comforted me. You will definitely be okay. I know it sounds like a cliche but God is with you and He loves you so much to give you lesser things. You will be okay. It’s only a matter of time.

    • cree
      October 28, 2014

      Rest assured Monique. It was at the WORST point of my life where God was truly able to get my attention long enough to put me on the path I was meant for. He had to take executing I wanted away in order to give me what I needed. So rest assured joy comes in the morning

    • Chara
      October 28, 2014

      Monique – I know it may look or feel like it BUT….

      And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ NKJV)

      Hang in there! Keep the faith!

    • Bahia
      October 29, 2014

      I can relate to the same. In one minute, i lost everything .. the job, the bf and the house .. and i was trying to figure out what to do .. It turned out God had a much better plan for me .. and it came knocking at my door .. I am still suffering the aftermath .. but everyday it becomes a bit easier. So just go with the flow and be sure that the big picture is much prettier than the small parts that we can see.

  6. Chary
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you so much for your encouragement through devotions. I seem to always see them in my feed when they are needed most. You are an inspiration and help me look forward to what he has in store for me. Thank you

  7. Jennifer
    October 28, 2014

    Hi Mandy, How about if you haven’t been single and there is someone who does love you but some how some way you just don’t feel the same. I’m 37 w/ 2 toddlers. I got married at 21 and at 32, both good guys. One broke my heart and the other I broke his. I felt I was living a life that was not mine. I didn’t feel he was my soulmate, the one, my forever. I loved him enough to give him 2 beautiful boys but I couldn’t do it. He says I ranaway and now being single I hear alot of men say the same..that I’m playing hard to get but I’m not . Recently a man told me I was afraid to love and I think he may be right. I wonder if I have gotten into all the wrong relationships and marriage b/c they always loved me more…I think about this alot and think that I won’t find the one until I learn how to love… I wonder if alot of us are single b/c of our fears…

    • Mandy Hale
      October 28, 2014

      That’s a great question, Jennifer. I know I struggle with fear sometimes. But I truly believe that when it’s really, really right…none of that other stuff will matter. Call me naive…but I think it’s true 🙂

    • Lucero M.
      December 28, 2014

      That’s a very good point. You do have to come terms and accept that there is no perfect relationship. Ask yourself…what is a soulmate to you? Someone that loves you more than you loving him means he was more willing to sacrifice more for you. How is that not a soulmate when that is the most ultimate expression of love? Maybe it’s just time to be alone and love yourself as well as forgive yourself.

  8. Jessica S.
    October 28, 2014

    Yes! You hit the nail on the head for me again today! I am a firm believer that I am single because God is preparing someone or something beyond anything I can foresee. Anytime I feel discouraged, I think of your books, and then I remember your story. Then I realize, it’s all going to happen when it is supposed to, according to God’s plan for me. His hands are the best hands to be in.

  9. cree
    October 28, 2014

    That was supposed to say everything

  10. Alexia
    October 28, 2014

    Exactly what I wanted to see …. comes at the right moment … where I have come at a cross road

  11. October 28, 2014

    I keep telling myself that God is preparing me for greatness, whether that greatness is small, or extremely big, His future is better than anything I can imagine for myself right now. I also keep remembering the old saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plans.” Tell Him your hopes and dreams, and He’ll direct your in His plans.

  12. Andrea
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you for posting this. I am currently being hit with letters to collect debts that I cannot pay – one was I had to repossess a car and but a new one because I didn’t have comprehensive insurance at the time of the accident, and I am receiving a $14,000 bill for the remaining balance after they sold it in an auction. The other is a $10,000 hospital debt for a stay of only 2 1/2 hrs, and I was told they would send someone in to talk to me about Medicaid but they never did and continued on with expensive tests :(.

    My job is not stable and I don’t have health insurance; I love with my mom and I am 31. Sometimes I feel like my life is one big mess – but I am a Christian and have told Jesus take it all. I don’t understand why I am going through all of this; well a lot is because of mistakes I made; either way, God’s grace is sufficient and that is what I am clinging to. I was also prompted today to just give thanks for all that I have. I have a roof over my head, a car, 4 jobs (lol), good health, a good relationship with my mom to live with her, and more than anything, the gift of the Holy Spirit that keeps on giving 🙂 I know He will make a way…

    • Margie
      November 20, 2014

      I am sorry you are going through what you are going through. I just wish my faith was as strong as yours, to learn and understand that, that I cannot control. Last night the fear and anxiety of my life got to me so bad I cried out to God “where are you!? How much longer do I have to wait!?” Unfortunately, this morning I woke to the same feeling of anxiety and fear, which I will continue to pray gets taken away from me.

  13. Charlene Cortez
    October 28, 2014

    True! We deserve better opportunities than we expect, we could find them if we’re willing to wait, I really really love this single womem site, it gives me more lesson to learn that not only having relationship can makes u happy, but it is more happier being single, I really love u Mandy Hale, thanks for writing such a wonderful books. Waiting for more books from you,

  14. Miss J
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you so much Mandy for this message today. Just what I needed to get me through my morning of my so/so job and mediocre relationship! Gods plan is on the way I have faith!!

  15. shannon
    October 28, 2014

    You hit the nail on the head! My only problem is I have no patience when it comes to waiting and that is the hardest part!

  16. Jamie
    October 28, 2014

    Absolutely amazing, thank you for that

  17. Nicole
    October 28, 2014

    Mandy I needed this more than you could imagine … I need to read this daily just to remind myself to be patient … Better things are coming but not on my time … But on His time …

  18. Diana
    October 28, 2014

    My life is a mess: I’m 34 years old, single, no kids and getting off from a relationship with a person who manipulated me during 4 years, got me broke, took my money, destroyed my self esteem, and terribly affected my professional career. I was Just diagnosed with RA and the pain is so intense that I can’t have a full time job, had to move in with my parents and I’m barely earning money to pay a debt that I shouldn’t have. Due to my illness all my “friends” have left me alone. However, despite all of that, I thank God for not leaving me alone and seeing his grace and love in my life every single moment. I have peace in my heart; I am in the process of letting go, and I am desperately hoping in the Lord for things to become better. I know I am not ready to meet my man yet, gotta heal my heart, body and soul first. For I know his plans are good and perfect for my life. 😀

  19. Myra
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you Mandy and all that shared. Don’t we all wish we could figure it out. A year ago my life was turned upside down, when I finally thought I had it together someone walked in my life and made it seem like “yes this is the perfect addition”, light at the end of the tunnel. Well he just stopped talking to me two weeks ago, no answer, no explanantion. I wondered if it was my fears, my lack of attention, then I realized it doesn’t matter when the right time happens with the right person he won’t just walk out of my life, and if the “right” one doesn’t happen, well God probably has better plans.

  20. anza pearl
    October 29, 2014

    Thank you thank you! I know God is @ work but everytime I meet a guy I feel like he looses interesnt just after two weeks, is there something wrong with me? Last night I was crying to God because my boyfriend (we started dating 4 weeks ago) seems to be losing interest in me, we live around the same hood but I have two weeks not seeing him properly,it was only 10 min within the 4 weeks , he says he’s always busy. This has happened to me before, that time the guy just told me that his excuses were because he wasn’t interested, now I fear that the same might happen again, it hurts. I’m tired of crying and I’m tired of having to go through so many guys before finding the right one… Is there something wrong with me?

  21. Adetoun Ashiru
    October 29, 2014

    “The only time you don’t find what you’re looking for is when God has something far better waiting for you to discover.”
    I needed to hear this. I’ve been rejected by someone i love so much. He keeps drawing back cos I’m a single mom. Tried everything to be with him but it leads to rejection. I’m tired of getting him to accept me. I’m tired of shedding tears everyday.
    I’ll just wait on God because I know i deserve better. Though, it’s hard but I’ll be patient till my best from God comes.

  22. Cindy
    October 29, 2014

    Hi Mandy
    Thank you for this 🙂 Every now and then we all need to be reminded that God does indeed know best and His timing is always perfect.
    You are such a blessing and inspiration to sooooooo many people out there. I love your books too!
    Please don’t stop the work you are doing!

  23. October 29, 2014

    Thank you so much for this, I needed this I love your books they are so uplifting I will so be reading your second book

  24. Dineo
    October 29, 2014

    Wow,reading your status Mandy and all the ladiea comments has made me realise that we woman share the same struggles,regardless of our backgrounds,race,geographical situation,etc.We all share similar pain.I am in awe in how the Lord speaks to us through fellow man.Each and everyone of your stories has hit home and it was just what l needed to hear.Today l came home feeling tearful and heavy hearted,like nothing is going my way.Then reading Mandy’s status and all you ladied comments made me realise that when God is in it,we just hav to let go and trust in him as our heavily father,for he created the heavens and earth with such articulate detail and perfection.He is after all a father of perfection,so my life in his hands is but work in progress

  25. Mattie
    October 29, 2014

    Mandy girl,I just love you ,you always know just what to say and the right time to say it .its true, G-d knows far better about us than we do .thank G-d for that huh?? my impatience and refusal to wait for HIS best for me has caused me much problems and heartache .i do put myself out there ,but like you said, its ONLY gonna come when he sees fit ,not me .man ,so wished I could just get that thru my little tired head .lol

    • Cas
      November 24, 2014

      I feel exactly the same as you. Thanks for your beautifully written reminder to Mandy’s post. Xxx

  26. Janette
    October 29, 2014

    You always write about something on point that has either happened or is happening in my life. I am single, 28 and a Grad student currently. I once had a relationship that sucked the life out of me. He emotionally hurt me and I poured myself into him, but it’s hard to do when you both have not found yourself. He struggled with many things that I could not help him with and I could only do so much. I have finally let go of it all. I struggled with anxiety and depression for a few years. Somehow through it all I got my first degree and pulled myself back together slowly. I can’t believe that I let someone pull me down like that, but it was a lesson learned. My gift was to finally find myself and learn to stand up for myself. The main man that got me here was God. Now I think I’ve found myself along the way, but I’m still trying patiently to wait on that dream job, guy and everything else. I know currently my main goal is to graduate with a Masters in May, so I know God is helping me finish a lifelong dream first before I continue on. I have my moments of anxiety and depression, but I know that I can survive because I’ve done it before. Your story is so much like mine and it inspires me and amazes me to know that other women feel the same too! Thank you for your inspiration and I’m so glad I read your books and follow your blog. It reminds me that God is here, but also others are on the same path as me!

  27. Krissa
    October 30, 2014

    When God says to you, “Be patient and be still”…. This is hard to do. Its a daily, some days minute by minute effort when I have to keep handing the situation back to him and asking him to teach me to trust the situation is better in his hands. I trust he’s got everything under control and I take solace in that fact.

  28. Nikki
    October 30, 2014

    I just wanted to say what a blessing this was. I am feeling pretty down today. I’m struggling to find a good job right now. I’ve applied for what feels like hundreds of jobs. The only responses are hours away or barely minimum wage and I hold a degree in psychology. I’m living with my mom and trying to take care of her but I’m running out of money. I’m single and have pretty much given up on finding my soul mate. I’m in my 30’s and always wanted kids but as I age, that dream is getting more and more silly. Obviously I can even take care of myself at the moment. I’ve watched everyone I know get married and start a family and I cant even land a good job. Yeah today is a bad day. Thanks for giving me some hope again. No mater how small it may be.

  29. […] than the landscaped one many choose. And then this week I came up on a post from @TheSingleWoman  ( https://mandyhale.com/2014/10/28/dash-sass-havent-found-youre-looking/ ) and here is what she had to […]

  30. Laura
    November 20, 2014

    I needed this. I’m not actively looking for love yet want it. I know it will come when I’m ready. I’ve been through a really bad relationship that changed my life for the best and worst. God gave me the most beautiful loving little girl in the world in that relationship. While she was my blessing that relationship was so abusive that I also thank god every day for giving me the strength to finally walk away. Knowing that eventually I will have a man that will not only love and treat me like I am supposed to be treated but love and treat my daughter like the little princess she is. It has it’s good and bad days especially now with her father in a new relationship and I’m still alone. That just means my guy is just out there making the same mistakes as me. He will soon come and change my life again but this time for the better only.

  31. kate
    November 28, 2014

    yeah. its correct. But, what will I do if i am beginning to like that person but deep down on me, we can only friends. Is it better to avoid him? or pretend that i am not falling for him?

  32. emily
    December 9, 2014

    “And maybe you haven’t found that man yet because God knows you’re not ready for him. Or he’s not ready for you. Or you have your eye on someone who is unworthy of you.”

    -thats what I really need to remind myself all the time.
    Thanks for this. I <3 you Mandy.

  33. March 5, 2015

    This post is EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

    And what I need to keep reading.

    Thank you SOOO much Mandy!!

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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only