Day 8: Five Things That Are Most Important to You in a Future Mate

Day 8Five things that are most important to me in a future mate.

I’ll keep this short and sweet today to get it in just under the wire. I’ve always said that I want to find a man who 1) Loves God and 2) Loves to dance. My thinking behind that is that the man who I choose to spend my life with obviously has to love God first and foremost…and not just believe in Him or show up to church on Christmas and Easter…but to actually have a REAL, authentic, living, breathing relationship with Him. Because if he truly loves God and longs to serve Him as I do, that takes care of all the other biggies like loyalty, honesty, faithfulness, respect, kindness, etc. etc. And the reason I would love to one day marry a man who loves to dance is because whether he dances like Derek Hough or does the White Man Snap, Shuffle, & Lip Bite…chances are if he loves to dance, he’s fun, lighthearted, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Plus, I just really love to dance. I think even if I met a man who was the worst dancer in the world; if he was willing to get out on a dance floor and break it down anyway, that would absolutely steal my heart!

Because today’s question asks for the top five qualities I look for in a future mate, I’ll go ahead and flesh out the rest of the list:

1)      Loves God

2)      Loves to dance

3)      Has a creative outlet (This is SUPER important to me. I don’t care if it’s painting, dancing, writing, singing, producing, photography, etc.  – because I am such a lover of creativity, I would have a hard time relating to someone who doesn’t have a passion for the arts in some way, shape or form.)

4)      Makes me laugh

5)      If he’s a book/movie nerd like me – that’s a MAJOR bonus! 🙂

Most of all, though…I just want to find my “person.” The one who GETS me. The one who when he takes my hand for the first time, it will feel like two pieces of a puzzle clicking together. I know I have a great destiny (as do all of you), but I truly believe that whoever I am meant to be with will make it greater. He’ll make ME greater. Just as I’ll make him greater. He won’t complete me…but complement me in the best possible ways. Call me a naïve, hopeless romantic, but I do believe in soulmates. I believe I have one somewhere. And all I can really do is trust God to bring him across my path when I’m most ready for him. If I’m really lucky, maybe it will look a little something like this:

“And then you run into him on Seventh Avenue as you’re buying diced cantaloupe, and pow, you are known, you are recognized, the both of you. You both find the exact same things worth remembering. You have the same rhythm. Click. You just know each other. All of a sudden you see reading in bed and waffles on Sunday and laughing at nothing and his mouth on yours. And it’s so far beyond fine that you know you can never go back to fine. That fast. You think: Oh, here is the rest of my life. It’s finally arrived.” ~Gillian Flynn

Join my 30-Day Blogging Challenge at any time either by commenting below, or responding to the challenges each day on your own personal blog and sharing the link below!  All the details HERE!  Make sure to hashtag all posts on Twitter and Facebook #TheSW30.

ALSO! If you haven’t grabbed your copy of my new book The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass yet – it’s all about celebrating exactly who you are in THIS moment and is the perfect companion to the Blogging Challenge! Grab your copy at any bookstore!

62 Responses to “ Day 8: Five Things That Are Most Important to You in a Future Mate ”

  1. October 12, 2013

    I would like to meet ya

    • Jenna
      November 12, 2013

      1. Someone who loves God and has a close relationship with him
      2. Someone who can make me laugh
      3. Someone who respects the three major things in a relationship faithfulness, honesty, and commitment
      4. Someone who can be my best friend

  2. October 12, 2013

    Wonderful. I’ve been waiting all day to read yours! I wish I’d thought of #3 🙂

  3. Natalie
    October 12, 2013

    This is so me! Exactly what I’m looking and praying for too!

  4. October 12, 2013

    that is the same kind of man I want

  5. October 12, 2013

    This web site is a blessing, ive been a single mother for 12 years ans i am ready. I know that God has my soulmate , and we haven’t met yet. He is preparing us both.

    • October 12, 2013

      thank you so much for this web site and your book

    • sika atikpui
      October 15, 2013

      i love this.

  6. October 12, 2013

    I totally agree with you Mandy! A man who is God-fearing will definitely be conscious and mostly be aware of what he does. 🙂 and a man who loves his family especially his mom, will be a great family man someday! 🙂

  7. Kate
    October 12, 2013

    Wonderful….seemed applies to me as well. Can I repost it on my fb? Thanks and have a great great day !

  8. jing
    October 12, 2013

    I like that,Mandy..A guy who love God,love to dance and can make me laugh. I’m also a hopeless romantic like you,if my future husband already find me,I will let you know : )

  9. October 12, 2013

    I love this post! well, I do love all of the blogs… but this one makes me really think what I really want for my future mate, which I haven’t thought of that well before… now I did make my list today. 😀

  10. October 12, 2013

    I love your comment Mandy about the creative outlet! It totally makes sense to see the world through the same lens!..Thanks for sharing! here’s mine

  11. janke
    October 12, 2013

    1) (Definitely) Believe in the Holy trinity, and with it a love for God & commitment to Him(okay that can count as more than one, but oh well)
    2)Able to cook (nothing fancy necessarily, but at least a few basic meals)
    3) Love for healthy living
    4) Respect & sympathy for other people
    5) Patience (maybe he could help me, cos’ my patience level is not that great)

  12. Traycee Frey
    October 12, 2013

    I love this question 🙂 to me the most important qualities for a mate would be: (in no real particular order, except the first!)
    * someone that shares the same faith in God that I have, (as Mandy said – if he has a strong belief in God the other qualities like honestly, communication, faithfulness will fall into place)
    * someone who’s funny who can make me laugh
    * someone adventurous (I’ve been known for a lot of randomness in my life – getting off work on a Friday night or waking up on a Saturday morning, packing a bag then driving w/no plans, no map, no gps – just random driving looking at the world.)
    * someone who’s family oriented – my family means a lot to me & even though we aren’t close in distance, we are extremely close. I speak to all my family daily (whether thru calls, text, or fb), so they must be close to their family. This family orient must also include their love for having a family of their own – even though I’m at the age where most likely I won’t be able to bare children myself, I have a deep love for kids and desire to be a foster parent. Therefore my mate must also share this love of kids/family
    * someone who’s kind, romantic, creative. Someone who knows how to do the smallest things that mean the most – the little notes, the single flower on the steering wheel – someone who gives not in material or financial ways but has a creative soul to come up with their own little ways to show kindness/romance.

  13. October 12, 2013

    Love th quote at the end!!! And I wish I would’ve of thought to put “creative outlet”.

    Mine top 5:

  14. Jailynn
    October 12, 2013

    1. some that loves and has a heart like God
    2. Can make me laugh
    3. Someone that can Cook ( lol )
    4. some one that is spontaneous
    5. communicates well

  15. Natasha
    October 12, 2013

    Five things that are important to me in a future mate:
    1. Someone who believes in a higher being which is God.
    2. Someone that is spontaneous/adventurous, i love to do things at the spare of the moment and i love to travel.
    3. Family oriented, family means everything to me, i have the closest relationship with my family and to have someone that shares the same values as i do on family is a plus.
    4. Ambitious, I love someone with a drive an wants to keep climbing an not stop.

  16. Sunmi
    October 12, 2013

    1. Must be God fearing, 2. Must be disciplined and hardworking, 3. Must be a good listener, 4. Must make me laugh

  17. October 12, 2013

    Very intersting. I think i would start my own blogging challenge too. I + perfectl agree with ur #1 that is my first too. 😉

  18. Laurel
    October 12, 2013

    I totally agree with you on the dancing thing! I dated a guy who loved to dance and had similar tastes in music as me (classic rock and indie rock). Although we broke up, I still smile about the memories we shared of going out dancing, listening to music together, and just enjoying being ourselves. I love to laugh and feel comfortable with my significant other. I hope I meet a man someday who isn’t afraid to get up and dance! 🙂

  19. Rachel
    October 12, 2013

    The five most important things for me in a mate:

    1. Someone who believes Christian doctrine, and then lives like it. A man who claims to be a Christian but lacks integrity in dealing with other people is a big turn off, and it describes several men I have dated.

    2. Someone who loves to dance! I recently started taking lessons, and I never feel as alive as I do when I am dancing!

    3. Someone who loves animals! I just have a hard time trusting someone who doesn’t like little furry things that have no other goal in life but to love you. Besides that, I have a dog that I love more than any man I have ever dated. He has to know that I have a ridiculous love of animals.

    4. Someone who loves family. Just because I don’t have kids of my own doesn’t let him off the hook. I have a mess of nieces and nephews who mean the world to me!

    5. Someone who is supportive. In the past few years I have faced deaths of loved ones, not to mention facing my own mortality in the form of a cancer diagnosis. If I can’t have a man willing to hold me when I feel like I am falling apart, then I would rather be alone.

  20. Josephine
    October 12, 2013

    1) Loves God. A man after God’s own heart. With this, everything else will fall in line.
    2) smart. I love a well dressed man who smells nice!
    3) Family oriented. Someone who’s willing to join my family and also start a family with me. He should also have a relationship with his family.
    4) Funny and Understanding. A guy who will find my twisted sense of humor amusing.
    5) Adventurous

  21. Julia
    October 12, 2013

    1) Someone who is spiritual
    2) Family oriented (HUGE family and I love every single one of them <3 )
    3) Has to be their own person (this would cover everything from being able to make up their own mind and not letting anyone else influence them.)
    4) Confident
    5) Completely and utterly but so sweetly flawed but mine and mine alone 😉

  22. October 12, 2013

    1 Tim 6:11 man, family -oriented, communicator, strong, driven, passionate, active, creative, funny, health conscious, romantic, non-judgmental, forever learning and seeking knowledge.

    • October 12, 2013

      Oh I went on a tangent..I was supposed to only have 1Tim 6:11 man, family oriented, active, communicator, funny.

  23. erin
    October 12, 2013

    Well I actually have a list of about 150 things .. haha.. but i have narrowed it down to exactly five things
    1. He has to be a christian and goes to church on a regular basis and loves the lord and is willing to serve him
    2. he has to have a great personality
    3 he has to have a great sense of humor
    4. he has to have a good education .. i am not as harsh on this one as i was, but education is a good thing to have
    5. he has to be clean cut – i am not into guys with tattoos, piercings, and the like .. i like someone that is pretty clean and kinda like the boy next door 🙂 or the all american boy 🙂
    this is what i have been looking for .. for probably about 10 to almost 15 years … i have come close, but God knows when he is ready for me to be with the one meant for me .. 🙂

  24. Rachel B
    October 12, 2013

    1. Makes me a priority
    2. Committed to our relationship
    3. Loyal
    4. Works hard at chosen career
    5. Would be a good father.

  25. Cathy
    October 12, 2013

    I am totally enjoying your posts and seeing my choices in a different light- thought they were too exacting
    Mine would be
    1- Love for God
    2. Makes time for the relationship, is an honest communicator
    3. Loves to make me smile
    4. Loves to dance
    5. Family oriented.
    Not necessarily in that order

  26. Ashanti
    October 12, 2013

    1. Loves God
    2. Consistent
    3. Repectful
    4. Driven- Has goals and a leader
    5. Sense of humor

  27. jolene.
    October 13, 2013

    1. God-fearing.
    2. “My person” & I should also be “his person”. Which means an out of this world connection.
    3. Intelligent.
    4. Funny. I think this goes hand in hand with being spontaneous and having an edge.
    5. Mutual attraction. I think it’s important for both of us to be insanely attracted to each other, both physically and personality-wise. It would keep the realationship going.

  28. jolene.
    October 13, 2013

    I had to add a sixth requirement because it’s soo important to me. He HAS to be SLOW TO ANGER. If there was 1.5 before going to no.2, then this would be it for me. I pray that we all get this qualities in our future men until then, we celebrate being single! Woo-hoo.

  29. Bafana
    October 13, 2013

    Anyone who wnt 2 call me here is my no 0613717743

  30. October 13, 2013

    love the quote that you ended this post with!

  31. Zoe
    October 13, 2013

    1. Love God
    2. Great sense of humor
    3. Into the outdoors
    4. Respect me (date me exclusively)
    5. Smell and look good

  32. Adedoyin
    October 13, 2013

    He must
    1. Love God, with all his heart, it takes a man that loves God to love a woman totally. And actually Love as christ loves the church.
    2.Be honest and disciplined
    3. Have d ability to communicate well
    4. Fun loving
    5.Have good listening skills

  33. red shake
    October 13, 2013

    sense of humor
    family man
    strong, confident, easy going

  34. October 13, 2013

    I love your list…especially the dance one! I have that on my personal list as well…I love to dance. Check out the 15 Non-Negotiables of Dating I received WAYYYY back in Jr. High:

  35. Orora
    October 14, 2013

    Thank you for your 30 day blog. It is coming at the perfect time! My big 30th birthday was last weekend and I had expectations of my boyfriend that he would make it great. I was wrong I didn’t even get a present. He did take me to a nice dinner though. I have spoken to him before about how important church is to me and that I wanted him to go with me so he can really see my heart and get to know all of me. Well he didn’t feel like going again this weekend (did I mention it was my 30th birthday!?) I was upset with him, I told him, him not going to church with me is eventually going to be a dealbreaker. The next day we spoke on the phone and we broke up. I say we, but it was more him saying maybe we aren’t a match and the distance is too hard. He lives 3 hours away. He stated he was sick of being a 3rd wheel during the week when his friends go out to dinner. I’ve been so heartbroken. I saw a future with him and could see myself marrying him, minus the not going to church. I need a MAN of Christ first and foremost. Anyway with my story I am saying thank you for starting this 30 day blog. He will soon realize that whoever he chooses to fill that empty seat at dinner with is exactly that….empty. The life he so badly wants is empty and he doesn’t realize it, I hate that for him and I hope he realizes it soon.

  36. Janette Alvarez
    October 14, 2013

    My Perfect Guys.. Love God first… His family, then his job. Can make me laugh, loves to live….

  37. October 14, 2013

    1.)loves God with all his heart,mind, and soul
    2.) Loves to workout because fitness is my Passion
    4.) Adventurous and loves to travel
    5.) Makes for laugh hysterically

  38. NZUKI
    October 15, 2013

    a man exactly like Boaz,( Read the book of Ruth)
    1. A man from my Father’s clan i.e He loves God and He is known by God
    2. A man of standing
    3. Generous to breathtaking proportion
    4.Intergrity..keep and protects me in the dark
    5.Pay the full price to have me

  39. Dawn
    October 15, 2013

    1. Loves God. A man who answers to someone bigger than him is usually a better man.
    2. Loves kids. I have 3.
    3. Hunts
    4. Taller than me. I’m 5’9. It just makes me feel safer.
    5. Has character, morals and values.
    6. A manly man.

  40. Ngoni
    October 19, 2013

    If I were looking for a husband, I would want him to:
    1) Love God MORE than I do.
    2) Be compassionate and forgiving towards me and others.
    3) Be a good provider. (Not making 6 figures, but having a sense of passion for whatever he chooses as his line of work.)
    4) Be protective. (I absolutely LOVE when a man cares more about you more than his own life!)
    5) A sweet, sincere smile! 🙂

  41. Rebecca
    October 19, 2013

    This blog is my saving grace! If it wasn’t for knowing how many women out there are sharing the same feelings I have, I would be so lost! I know what I want from a man:
    1- Family Oriented
    2- Patient and Kind
    3- Honest and Loyal
    4- Makes me laugh
    5- Spontaneous and loves to travel

    I could go on and on forever about what I want from a man, I know we all could. But at this point it is about making ME a priority and hoping I meet a man who can handle that.

  42. October 27, 2013

    I have a non-negotiable traits before I entertain any suitor
    1. He has to be God-fearing (sub-trait: he knows how to recite the rosary)
    2. He must have no vices.
    3. He must be responsible and and kind.
    4. He must have a decent and stable job.

  43. March 7, 2014

    Here’s mine… And i have an incredibly long explanation.. 🙂
    May we all find our one true love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only
Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only