Day 6: Sound off on the Quote, “Every Woman Has the Exact Love Life She Wants”

Day 6Sound off on the quote: “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

I heard this quote in the movie The Wedding Date a few years ago and I remember it hitting me like a punch to the gut. Is it possible, that contrary to what I’ve always thought, singleness didn’t just arbitrarily HAPPEN to me? Is it possible that I chose it?

Let’s examine the evidence.

I like my life. I like my schedule. I like staying up late and sleeping in. I like the quiet, peaceful hours between midnight and 3am. I like stretching across the entire bed if I want to. Better yet…I like using the empty side of the bed for the books and magazines and other materials I examine and read for research late into the night. Or my laptop. Or a stack of DVD’s I’m making my way through.

I like running my fan at night as I sleep and I like keeping the window up to let in the cool fall air so I can snuggle even deeper into my covers. I like that I don’t have to listen to snoring as I sleep. I like that if I wake up at 4am and want to eat cookies in bed, I can and I don’t wake anyone up in the process. I like that my DVR is filled with Dancing With the Stars, Scandal, The Voice, and reruns of The Golden Girls and Friends, rather than football or the news.

I like that my closet is filled (to the brim) with my clothes and shoes and that I don’t have to save half the space for his clothes and shoes. (I especially like this).

I like that I can eat cold pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner if I choose. I like that I can flip the two meals without concern that someone won’t like my random tastes. I really like that I can use my kitchen cabinets for storage space rather than dishes or canned foods. I like that I don’t own a Crock Pot, nor do I know how to use one. I like that I have no need to know that right now.

I like that I choose my own bedtime, my own alarm clock setting, my own home décor, my own vacation spots, my own TV channels, my own meals, my own LIFE. I like that I’m only thinking and planning for one. I like that even though I have multiple remote controls that I have no clue what they go with and I’m terrified to toss out because they might be connected to a device that I might someday want to use again…I control them all.

I like that I can sit on my front steps on a cool autumn night with a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa and talk to God for HOURS, because I don’t have anywhere else to be or anyone else to be with. I like that my heart belongs to Him and is safe with Him. I like that He is the only entity I feel the need to consult with before making big life decisions…and I like that I have the luxury of a deeply intimate walk with Him, because He has my undivided attention and undistracted devotion.  I’m pretty sure God really likes that, too.

So after giving it all very careful consideration…I think I chose my life. It didn’t choose me.

“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” Hmmm. Maybe that’s not such a scary, negative thought after all. Maybe someday that will change. Maybe I won’t want singleness anymore. Maybe someday singleness won’t want me. But for now, for today…I want it and I choose it.

And I won’t apologize for it.

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66 Responses to “ Day 6: Sound off on the Quote, “Every Woman Has the Exact Love Life She Wants” ”

  1. October 9, 2013

    Oh MY GOODNESS! You described my life PERFECTLY!!! Thank you for giving us permission to enjoy being single, satisfied and SASSY!!!

    I love the 30 day blog challenge! Please keep up the great, awesome, invigorating, inspirational job!!!! YOU ROCK HARD!!!

  2. Jo
    October 9, 2013

    I appreciate all of the rah rah! Go single! Empowering women encouragement. I really do. And most days your words do speak to a part of me and encourage me. But what do you have to say to the woman who would not choose singleness… If she had the choice? To the woman who IS filled with lonlieness being single. To the woman who has never even had the opportunity to settle for a ‘less than’ relationship? Much less the strength to choose not to? To the woman who in her 30s still doesn’t know what it’s like to have a ‘person’? And has always been single? Because if I’m being honest, I would love for someone’s snoring to keep me up at night, for their clothes to flow out of our closet, and for sports to blare constantly from our tv. And the absence of that and desire for that hangs over my (otherwise very happy and fulfilling) life like a rain cloud.

    • Mandy Hale
      October 9, 2013

      I would say that’s great to want those things! I want those things eventually, too (well, not the snoring part). BUT…those things can’t magically bring you happiness if you’re not already happy. It’s great to WANT those things without making them an idol or thinking that once you have all those things, your life will be perfect and happy…because it won’t. A relationship can only make you MORE of what you already are. So don’t let the wanting of those things stop you from going out and finding and living and being other things. And don’t let the lack of those things stop you from being happy…because real happiness, TRUE happiness, lasting happiness comes from inside you…not from beside you.

    • October 10, 2013

      I felt sad for you when you said you’ve NEVER had a boyfriend, I find myself wondering if you’re shy, closed up inside yourself, and maybe unapproachable? Idk, but what Mandy said IS true, YOU have to be happy with you, cause having a boyfriend isn’t going to give you true happiness if you don’t already have it, and if you are happy and you choose the wrong guy, and let him get too far in ( like falling in love and moving in together ) it could TOTALLY mess up your life, take it from someone who knows. I met Mike through my dad, he lived down the road from my parents, and he liked to bring his son over to see our cow’s, even though both my parents knew he wasn’t my type, apparently they thought that might be a good thing. Mike was great at first, I wasn’t physically attracted to him AT ALL, but there was something about him, on the inside, so I looked past the outside, tried to help him dress better, and style his hair, ya know, do what I could with what I had, and he started to become kind of attractive to me. He was going through a divorce, and he had to sell his house, so he mentioned that he didn’t know what he was going to do, and if I knew of any places for rent, we lived in a very small town (one stoplight) so it was hard to find affordable housing, especially when he needed it right then. We had only been dating for a little over a month, but my parents had known him for about a year, we were at dinner one night discussing his living situation, and all of a sudden I blurted out, you can move in with us ( I had a 3yr old daughter at the time.) I could not believe I had just said that, I mean we hadn’t even slept together yet, cause like I said, the attraction came later, that and I’m not one to jump in bed with someone on the 2nd or 3rd date. So, who I thought was my prince charming, moved in to my daughter and I’s 2 bedroom duplex, our place was perfect ( I mean we LOVED it ) for the two of us, but three, sometimes four, when his horribly ill mannered child visited on the weekends ( can you say HELL) it was very crowded, so he insisted we move. he knew I was pretty mad, cause we loved our place, and his move-in was supposed to be short-term. So, he surprises me with a trip to Vegas, on the plane he arranged it with the flight attendants to get down on one knee in the aisle and propose, I was shocked and thought it was romantic, everyone was cheering, I couldn’t say no and I didn’t want to, all the little things I was upset about were forgotten and everybody bought us drink’s and when we landed in Vegas freshly engaged, I was on cloud nine. We had an incredible vacation, and this was barely 3mos into our relationship. When we got home everything was great, for awhile. About 3mos later, so a total of 6mos (the time of our lease needing renewal) after moving out of my place, into what he called “our place” he wanted to move yet again, I didn’t understand, and he made some lame ass excuse, I don’t remember what it was, after all this was about 6yrs ago. I’ve made this story too long as it is, I don’t want to make any longer than I have to, I just want you to see that you never really know someone and there weird quirks until you live with them. So, after moving into the 3rd place we lived in together, I made sure the lease was for a year this time, cause I wanted to know my daughter and I would be in the same place for at least a year. At this point we had been together about 2yrs, so of course everyone was on me about “THE BIG DAY” especially my mom, after all I am her only child. But, there was always this little voice in the back of my head, that always made me put things off, I’d make up different excuses over the years, money, timing, anything I could think of really. Well, another year went by, and guess what, it was time to move, I didn’t know what to do, I said fine ONE more bleeping time, so choose wisely. We moved into a nice house, really big, and a great price, thing’s got better for awhile, since it’s kinda hard to keep track, we were just passing our 3rd anniversary, he had done weird little things with his own stuff, but I started to notice that some of my thing’s were “lost” and I’m sure you can imagine that it’s not easy to lose a changing table, and some other small furniture, like a set of end table’s, and most importantly a solid oak entertainment center that my grandmother, who was like a mom to me had bought me when I moved out on my own, not only was it from her but those are expensive, and most are made cheaply out of press board. After tearing the house and garage apart, and having no luck, oh wait, I did find the changing table in pieces all tore apart. I confronted him, and found out that he tore it apart after a fight we had a week before, I questioned him as to why he found it necessary to destroy my daughter’s belonging’s, he responded that at 6 she had no use for it, and I informed him that it went with her crib as a set and that it’s something people keep for there child or if I wanted to have another, thankfully the crib was stored at my parents, but he still ruined other thing’s that belonged to me and my child, he sold the entertainment center to a so-called friend, I told the man or should I say guy, cause like my fiancé he was no man either, told him the situation and offered double what he paid (so 100$) and he knew my grandma had since passed away, and that it had sentimental value, but said a deal is a deal and that’s life, didn’t even apologize. Writing this is probably therapeutic, but it’s sickening at the same time. Getting to the end of my story. (I know it’s been long, but I hope you’re still reading, cause this part is important like the rest) It’d been almost four long years, and he was laid off of his job of over 12yrs, and I was a stay at home mom, he liked to control me, and this included controlling whether I worked or not, we would get in argument’s at wal*mart, cause he insisted that every guy I walked past was checking me out, so it would get to the point that I had to sit in the car and I’d give him a list of my needs, but HE decided what I really needed and what I could do without. After his job loss thing’s got real bad, although he was getting the max un-employment, he said it wasn’t enough to support ME and my expensive lifestyle, that’s a joke, I never bought myself anything that I didn’t need, i.e tampon’s, body wash, shampoo & conditioner. So I had to go by myself, and ask my parents if we could stay with them until he found a new job, and I told him I was also getting one cause it was necessary, he still said no. He didn’t go job hunting, he went back to school, he also refused to give my parents any money, I put up with the living with my parents for 3 or 4 month’s, in that time he might have given them 100$ and only bought groceries for himself, he’d write his name on them. After four and a half years and all the mental abuse, I woke up one day and thought to myself WTH? Not only has he continually disrespected me, treated me like dirt on his shoe, controlled my life, and many other thing’s, he crossed the line when he crapped on MY FAMILY, so I told him it was over and I kicked his sorry ass out, and it felt incredible.
      I have dated, but have not had a serious relationship since him, it’s been 4 years. I do not need a man to make me who I am, many women out there do, I know a couple, and it’s sad. I wouldn’t mind finding a nice guy, but I can’t help but wonder if I subconsciously run them off. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my bff is a man, Idk and I don’t really care, if I find him, I find him. but if not, that’s ok to. I consider myself lucky to have a healthy, intelligent, and beautiful daughter. Her father hurt me as well, maybe there’s something to some of the guys I’ve been in relationships with, but I don’t think it’s with all of them, cause I’ve had good one’s and I’ve ended most of the relationships I’ve been in. Who knows. Just be happy with yourself, hold your head up high, be proud, and nice to everyone, and eventually the right man will come along, probably when you least expect it. Just don’t be out looking for him in a bar, he isn’t hiding there, let him FIND YOU 🙂

    • Falan
      March 3, 2014

      Singleness is a gift- this is a time to focus on yourself, improve yourself, grow spiritially and prepare for your future. If you are Married you cannot focus on yourself! Just take the time to discover self improvement. If you’re unhappy alone, how are you going to make your mate Happy?!

  3. Isabelle-O
    October 9, 2013

    True, every woman does have the love life she wants. I could have easily said ‘yes’ to the first guy who talked to me about marriage (the 30 year old I was dating at 18) or I could have settled for the guy all my friends were in love with, but who I kinda-sorta liked but definitely didnt love! I could be married, I could be in a relationship, but I chose otherwise. I chose to not settle for kinda-sorta of, I chose to have faith in the unknown, I chose to be single and everyday that I don’t relent and finally take my butcher up on his offer for coffee, or the creepy guy at the office’s, I’m continuing to make that choice. I have the love life that I want and one day when I don’t want to be single anymore, I believe I’ll get into a relationship.

    • erin
      October 9, 2013

      Wow! I really enjoyed reading this one also … i also watch re-runs of friends and golden girls. I love that I am on my own, but there is a sense of lonliness at times, but I know that God is the one that I need to be leaning on and I need to glorify Him in my singleness and even when or if I get married. God has someone special out there for me that will love me for me and it will all happen in His timing.. until then.. i can just focus on me and becoming the Proverbs 31 woman .. and know that when God brings someone into my life I will know it .. it will be a God thing for sure 🙂

    • Paige
      October 9, 2013

      My ex’s current wife has the love life I want.

    • rose
      October 9, 2013

      Right thats doesnt mean that if you are single you are unlucky its just your happy being with yourself and God is preparing something special for every person. Sometimes i feel sad but still im thankful cause i can live on my own i dont need to rely on other or i can say i dont need to consult for approval in every decision im making and i can say right now im happy being single having a family that supporting you all through out and for ne that a big blessing already…

  4. October 9, 2013

    The empty side of the bed is definitely a place to store books or DVDs….or bags of chips. Actually, I prefer those things over a man some days and so I’m with you, maybe I did choose this for my life. Right now, I’m okay with that. In the long run, I’d like to fill that space with someone warm to cuddle with on cold nights, but for now my teddy bear (yes, I still sleep with one) will do! Thanks again for this challenge, Mandy…it’s been fun!

    • Daisy
      October 9, 2013

      lol Bree, i still own a teddy bear that i take with me whenever i travel 😀 , i want a bigger one though, hahaha*. i like hugs and cuddle so my teddy does a wonderful job 😉 😉

  5. Shaylah
    October 9, 2013

    I am the prize. I like having choices and that if and when that person comes in to my life, then I know that I won’t have regrets of living my life to the fullest.

  6. Janette Alvarez
    October 9, 2013

    I have to agree… If we really look around us, inside us… we are happy with where we are.. so why not show the world that we are happy with Right now… I surely want love and happiness with the guy God grants me to be with..but while I wait..I laugh love and read wonderful books like the Single Woman.. and smile along the way….

    • tia
      October 14, 2013

      I with you on that too.. reading and laughing alone with Mandy… she a trip love her though…

  7. October 9, 2013

    I think this is a true statement.

  8. Thobeka
    October 9, 2013

    Wow I couldn’t stop smilling while I was reading this, I wish It could just continue. This is good Single life is just fantastic 🙂

  9. Shanell
    October 9, 2013

    I totally agree! I am in full control of my life and the things that go on in it. Worrying about making time for someone else or cooking for someone is not on my list of to do’s at this moment. Looking at the love life’s of my friends I am perfectly happy with my own and wouldn’t trade places at all. Everyone’s love is defined differently and I’m still searching for my own each day. Right now this is the love life I want and need, it consist of loving God and learning to love me.

  10. Jillian
    October 9, 2013

    I guess being single for so long, I never really sat back and realized the TRUTH in all of this…I’ve just focused on what I want and long for and that’s a relationship, a man to be in my life, like all my other friends. But when I can go home after work, veg out on the couch and watch pointless prime time television, I don’t suppose my married friends have that luxury. I don’t have anyone to report to, which is great because I’m very independent. I don’t have to make sure my refrigerator is stocked for a man, because right now it has enough in there for me not to starve and I’m ok with that. The ONLY thing that I would say that is missing and I’m sure all single gals will agree is the comfort of a man beside you in bed and the feeling of security knowing there’s someone next to you (that hopefully cares for you). Or having someone to just plop down on the couch with and watch those prime time shows and cuddle. I think I’m in a place in my life where I love my single life but I also think I would love not being single as well. But I believe God has a timing and reasoning for everything that comes in and out of our lives and this is something that has been been extremely visible the last few months of my life. I have the love life I want RIGHT NOW and the love life that GOD WANTS FOR ME…one day I’ll have the love life I want for that season of my life, and hopefully for a lifetime. 🙂

    • October 9, 2013

      Today’s spun me. I really over-thought it…

  11. October 9, 2013

    I love this post! Well-said — it’s fun to be single :o)

  12. October 9, 2013

    Hi Mandy! What a beautiful post, and I can definitely relate to the part about being able to talk to God for hours because there’s no one else who needs your time. I’m glad I found your blog and I will be checking back in for updates. Thank you for all you do and for your encouragement to all single women.

  13. Deanna
    October 9, 2013

    I love all of the support and encouragement! BUT, in no way do I have the love life I want. I have so much love to give and want it in my life so much…I keep asking “What am I doing wrong?” Just haven’t gotten the answer…But, never giving up…

  14. Renee
    October 9, 2013

    This describes me to the tee. I must also say, I recently confessed this to my best male friend.

  15. October 9, 2013

    I know this might seem strange to you (why am I reading a post about single women?), but a friend shared this post.
    Mandy, I think you do an excellent job of reminding women that it’s perfectly okay to be single, and addressing the desire to be in a relationship. It’s so true that being in a relationship only makes you more of what you are, but it doesn’t bring happiness. It’s an important lesson that doesn’t exist for woman, but men as well, granted, in a slightly different way (but that’s another subject). I know growing up I considered myself the ‘marrying type’. I wasn’t interested in dating around or anything, I just had that desire for a partner, and it took me a while to see my singleness for what it truly was (and this is what I wanted to add-in). All to often we are consumed with our desires. It’s all about us—and being in a relationship is no different—rather than seeing the opportunities for growth God presents us with we focus on what we don’t have yet.

    I guess if anything I just want women to be reminded that there are Godly men out there who feel very similar—maybe not exactly the same, but that’s because woman and men are fundamentally different. Be encouraged and seek those opportunities!

    • Mandy Hale
      October 10, 2013

      Thank you, Jon! It’s always great hearing from the guys and being reminded that you all are on the same journey as we are!

  16. NZUKI
    October 10, 2013

    life is sooo good..esp where you can talk to God endlessly and not worried you will make someone uncomfortable..and you can tell Him anything.

  17. Eya Dollente
    October 10, 2013

    My take on Day 6 hahaha i took it on a different note though. Dont want to change it just to comply with what the quote is. The authenticity of my view and understanding (be it correct or not) wont be put to waste. Hahaha nevertheless, enjoy.

  18. Alisha
    October 10, 2013

    Tough question when I first read it. Why would I love my non existent love life? Well, it’s the fact that I do have the love life I want (or want in my future), and for this reason, I am waiting for it to arrive. I am a few days behind in my blog but check it out.

  19. Kiki
    October 10, 2013

    To me this means it’s no one elses choice but an individual weather or not they want to be in a relationship or not. Everyone always has a choice. And if you’re choice is to be single right now then you are strong enough to wait for the person God has in store for you & when you finally meet that person all the waiting, heartache, and insecurities you once possessed will no longer exist.

  20. October 10, 2013

    Timely. Here’s my blog post on the very same notion the difference being that I am quoting a different movie but with the same thoughts 🙂 enjoy!

  21. Tess
    October 10, 2013

    I don’t totally agree with the quote. Yes, I love all the things you mentioned above but I also love having a man around. I miss the intimacy that I had with my ex-husband and I want that again and I don’t have that. So no, I don’t have the exact love life I want.

  22. Ashley
    October 10, 2013

    Thanks Mandy ! You are such an encouragement ! I am a single mom and am now reading your book for the second time. I can’t get enough of your inspiration and positive thoughts. I agree with this article even though I’ve never thought if it that way. Thanks again!

  23. Tammy Aguilera
    October 10, 2013

    Mandy, I am new to your blog and this is only my second comment, but I want to know how it is that you are in my head, saying exactly what I feel and think about just about every single thing you mentioned in your blog above. It’s almost like you are my twin or soul mate or whatever you would call someone who shares so much of the same likes and dislikes as you do, enjoys the same things, speaks her mind the same way with so much clarity and conciseness that I just shake my head in amazement as I absorb every word you write. I believe God put you in my path at the precise moment I needed to connect with someone else that is going thru what I am, and thinking the same things I am and wondering if I am like the strangest person on the planet and no one else can relate to me. But you do! I have no doubt that God is using you in a very strategic way in my life, and many others as well I am sure, but I like to think that if you and I were to meet we would become instant friends, almost able to read each other’s mind and finish each other’s sentences. Lol. I hope that didn’t sound creepy or stalkerish in any way. I just know that God is up to something big right now in my life and He is using key people and things to stimulate me and push me in the right direction. Sometimes I feel stuck. I get frustrated because I know I am in a stage of transition and about to step into greatness. I am moving into a new level with God that both excites and terrifies me. Every time I think I have given up all for Him, He shows me something new He wants to change in me or something that I must give up to get to a higher level. I know that everything that can be shaken is being shaken. Before I read what you wrote above I often wondered if I was “choosing” to be single or if there is just something wrong with me to keep me from meeting the man of God that God has been preparing for me and me for him. Now I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have in fact chosen to be single for now. I enjoy it in every way that you described above as well. I do all of those things that you mentioned. I now feel free to just enjoy being single and instead of feeling like there is something wrong with me, I will trust that God knows exactly what He is doing and it’s all part of His beautiful fantastical (stole your word lol) plan for my life. Thanks again Mandy for your words of truth and wisdom. Your transparency and audacity gives me the strength to do the same and not care what anyone thinks about it. I am free to be ME! I am learning to love me. Not in a narcissistic or egotistical way, but in a healthy way. Sending you a big (((hug))) in the love of the Lord Mandy. <3

  24. Karen
    October 11, 2013

    I am not sure I agree. I am 32 and single. I’ve never been in love, I’ve never been pursued, I’ve never really dated anyone passed casual. I so long to be a wife and Mom. I sit and watch my friends get the lives I desire. I have an amazing family, a job I’m passionate about and love, I own my own house, but I don’t get to share this with someone. I think it’s human nature to want to be wanted, desired, and loved. I’ve never had that. I don’t think I ve been too picky, it’s not like they are banging my door down. My male friends always say I’m great but as a friend. I don’t have the love life I want. Not even a little. I’m blessed in so many ways and in lots of areas my life is beyond what I hoped. Just not in this area….

  25. Lyn
    October 11, 2013

    When I thought about my choices, I would agree with the quote. I had loved, and was offered love, but in the end, I chose to be single. I love to have my bed all to myself. I love that I can put anything on the other side of the bed. I love to be able to do what I want when I want to. I love my singleness. Maybe, one day, I’ll love being with another person more than I love being alone.

  26. hephzibah
    October 11, 2013

    Lol. First time I’m seeing your blog and you most definitely put the last 3 years of my life into words. And yes, the empty side of my bed is filled with a stack of books 🙂

  27. red shake
    October 11, 2013

    bring that I just turned 42 this summer and single I can somewhat agree with the quote. I’m torn between wanting a love life and the fact that I’ve been single for do long just don’t know if i could handle the constant pleasing. what I mean it’s that being single and not having a live life can and is sometimes very depressing it’s also very comforting. I don’t have to make sure supper is fixed, laundry is done and so forth and making sure I’m height, weight proportionate for someone else. I’m happy with who I am, sometimes I wish someone else was to. sure I have opportunities for the ( love life I would consider) but there are always some sort of strings attached…. I love in southern Indiana and where I’m at my choices are very limited ( just saying) because I’m not going to just settle. which I have done several times in the past including my 2 marriages and I’m changing myself to change my outcome or at least that’s what I’m trying.

  28. Julia
    October 12, 2013

    Too true…

  29. Dawn
    October 15, 2013

    LOL Mandy. I too sit on the swing, wrapped in a blanket with some coffee or a glass of wine and talk to God for hours. I also sleep with the fan on and the window open no matter how cold it gets outside!
    I was thinking about this very thing other day as I was snuggled up to my 3 yr old.Sometimes I think I don’t want to share what I have with someone…or if I do, it will have to be someone pretty darn special for sure

  30. Rebecca
    October 19, 2013

    I do agree with everything you said here Mandy, and it is great to have the ability to do the things you love and make you comfortable without having a man.

    I was with a man for 2 years and it was a very happy time in my life. I do miss it often. I want someone to be able to share those times with as much as I enjoy having my alone time too… This is a hard transition for me to actually try and be single for the first time in my life and I am emotional constantly. With that emotion, I tend to want a man to put his arms around me and tell me it will all be ok. I need to learn that the best comfort comes from this support group I have right in front of me.

  31. Ngoni
    October 19, 2013

    Hmmm…I was proposed to in high school and the guy who asked me said he was going backpacking in Africa and I never heard from him again. Now, he is married to someone else. I am a BIG believer that things happen for a reason. I have dated since, but my heart still belonged to the guy who proposed to me. I have chosen NOW to be single for the rest of my life, but in the beginning it wasn’t so. I thank God, because now, at the age of 41, I am truly enjoying my freedom. My God is a jealous God and I am glad He’s chosen me! 🙂

    • Kelly
      January 6, 2014

      Wow, so he just disappeared?

  32. Just-Rose
    December 13, 2013

    WOW!!! You just described me and my singleness word for word. I’ve been single a very, very, long time and there are days I miss sharing my life with someone and I get all down and pout but I have MORE days when I feel exactly like this. I am so glad I found you…I swear we could be BFF’s. lol

  33. Kelly
    January 6, 2014

    I did see this movie not too long ago and that line made me think. I do think there’s some truth in it because people set the boundaries for how they’re to be treated by other people and what they will or will not put up with. If they’re being disrespected, feeling unloved etc, it’s because they chose to endure it.

    • Ngoni
      August 1, 2014

      I guess that’s the cost of giving people the benefit of the doubt. In my case, I gave him the space he needed to go backpacking in Africa. I wasn’t constantly checking up on him nor did I feel a need to. The man is ultimately the pursuer. Why he chose not to return is his decision.

  34. Single yet fine
    April 16, 2014

    I just saw this movie also. The quote made me think….yes, I chose to have what I have for sure.

  35. EMN
    October 2, 2014

    You are wise beyond your years girl! And when you do find your man you will be so amazed how perfectly he fits into your already perfect life! Continue to enjoy your single time bc you may be stuck with a snoring man 50-70 years! Lol Keep on doing what you love and what makes you happy and he will come along! Oh and I love this quote! Thanks for sharing!

  36. October 6, 2014

    Hey Ladies, check out my blog on this Day 6! Enjoy and feel free to chime in

  37. Kylee
    February 6, 2015

    Very well said, Mandy! Being brand new to a far away town and having my many moments of loneliness, I wouldn’t change any of it for the presence of a boy. I’m content with my little apartment filled with only my things, because I made it into my home, my little place of serenity and bliss. I’m content with having nothing to do on a Friday night. I have no one to impress or to entertain. And if I wanted something to do on that lonely Friday night, I have the best girl friends who appreciate my presence more than a guy ever has who will be by my side in an instant. I’m also getting ready to start one of the most amazing journies of my life (after taking your advice from your book) – I’m becoming a Big Sister! Needless to say, I definitely chose my love life for this time in my life. Yes, I would love dearly for a guy to come into my life and sweep me off my feet, marry me and have babies with me. But this is now. I am realizing what it’s like to actually LIVE. Honestly, I would be devastated if ‘the one’ were to walk through my door at this moment.

  38. pearl
    February 10, 2015

    Thank you mandy For making being single normal and always giving us the strength when we have lost hope.

  39. November 1, 2018

    I don’t usually lose my temper, but if I get angry, it’s true – I’m scary.

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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
.brave_popup__step__mobile img {float:right;width:90px;margin-left:1em;}
*US shipping only