Day 4: Your Biggest Fear as a Single Person

Day 4Your biggest fear as a single person.

Re-reading some of the questions I came up with for this blogging challenge even makes me hesitate a bit and fight not to throw up walls – MAN! My biggest fear as a single person! That’s intense. And painfully honest. And I really want to deflect and say “Nah, I’m good! I don’t HAVE any fears as a single person!” But obviously that’s not true. So…here goes…

I would say that as far as my life goes right now, at THIS VERY MOMENT, I don’t have any pressing, imminent fears about my present. I’m very independent, I’m also a bit of a loner, and I value and cherish my alone time. I actually go crazy without my alone time, if I have several busy days in a row (as is the norm these days) or am traveling with my friends or family and don’t have an opportunity to decompress in the quiet peacefulness of solitude. I also have a pretty amazing life right now, even an extraordinary one…and I don’t take that lightly or for granted in the least. HOWEVER. That said. I’ve got my present covered, but what about my future and giant question mark that it is? The truth is…I’m not going to be in my 30’s forever, my single friends ARE likely going to all eventually get married and move on with their lives, and I don’t want to wake up one day even in the midst of what I consider to be a blessed life and find that in the pursuit of the extraordinary, I completely missed out on the ordinary. The great big beautiful joy of the ordinary: Carpools. Baking cookies with my kids. Game nights with my husband and our friends. Changing diapers. Fighting over the remote control. PTA meetings. Having a hand to hold, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live. I want that…every bit of it. I’m not overwhelmed with all-consuming longing for it, as I genuinely like and appreciate my life; but I really, really want a husband and kids and a family of my own someday, and all the many goods and bads and ups and downs and highs and lows that come with it. Most days I wake up confident that I will one day have all that. But other days, as each passing season turns into the next…and another birthday comes around, finding  me another year older…and the news reports tell me with increasing urgency how it’s more likely for me to get struck by lightning than find love or carry a child at my age…THOSE days, I feel scared. And alone. And uncertain.

As always, with every scared and alone and uncertain moment in my life, I hand it all over to God and trust Him to work it all out for me. I know He sees the big picture while I’m stuck in the details of it all. I know that it is not God’s intent for any of us to wander the planet alone, so I know in my heart that if a husband is not in my future (I will find a way to be a mom, regardless), He has a bigger and better plan for me. A plan filled with ordinary AND extraordinary moments. Maybe not the plan or the moments that I would have handpicked for myself, but neither would I have necessarily handpicked a life as a somewhat public figure…but that’s what I got anyway! And that’s turned out better than I could have ever imagined. So my advice to you is this: Lean into your fears. Don’t run from them. Feel them. Sit with them. Validate them. Then let them go and trust that God’s plan is best, however much it might line up with or deviate from your plans. How do I know this? Because as He says in one of my very favorite scriptures: “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Doesn’t that just make you feel SAFE?

It’s nice to know that all I have to do is take care of the present, because God’s got the future and all of its many uncertainties covered.

Join the conversation at any time by participating in  my 30-Day Blogging Challenge!  All the details HERE!  Make sure to hashtag all posts on Twitter #TheSW30.

109 Responses to “ Day 4: Your Biggest Fear as a Single Person ”

  1. Refiloe
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of settling for somebody else’s husband.

    • Kathi
      October 7, 2013

      Always being rejected & never finding someone to accept me as a total package – physical disability and all…never amounting to anything.

    • erin
      October 7, 2013

      I would have to say my fear is never having someone fully accept me for me .. and love Jesus first and then love me second … to find someone who respects me for who i am .. and loves me unconditionally

    • Candice K
      October 8, 2013

      My biggest fear is not being accepted for who I am because I am a plus sized woman. So many men want picture perfect Barbie Dolls. I just want to be accepted and loved. I’m so sick of being lonely.

  2. Esthy C
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of staying in this time of my life! in the confort zone of being single woman.

  3. amanda mabu
    October 7, 2013

    Fear of blaming myself an not forgiving myself

  4. AM
    October 7, 2013

    My biggest fear is that I’ll never experience being in love or being loved. Having to travel this journey alone is pretty scary.

  5. M
    October 7, 2013

    Fear of being alone forever

  6. Tanya
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of being alone forever and never finding “the right guy”

  7. Lala J
    October 7, 2013

    Giving in to my vulnerability and settling for mister wrong.

    • P
      October 8, 2013

      Yes! Me too! :-/ P

  8. Jovanna
    October 7, 2013

    My biggest fear as a single woman is that I will never have the opportunity to get married and have a family.

  9. October 7, 2013

    I fear that I become pickier with each passing day, each date that leads nowhere, and each person that attempts to let me down. I know that I am worthy of love, but I’m not going to give it or recieve it from just anyone, I’m not “afraid” of being alone, I would just rather not be forever.

  10. osas
    October 7, 2013

    Biggest fear as a single is not being in love wit sm1 who truly loves me or sm1 I love not loving me back

  11. Lindsay
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of being alone forever and like you mentioned Mandy, not having a hand to hold or someone to turn to for a hug or even for an inside joke. I am in my mid-twenties (which I know is not old and I have plenty of time) but with each passing day another person I know is getting engaged, married, or pregnant. Out of my group of girlfriends I am the only one who is single and even though my friends and their boyfriends are amazing and never make me feel like a 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel I do feel that way every now and again. I’ve had my share of boyfriends and just last year got out of a relationship which led me to be a single woman again (probably for the better because my ex treated me terribly and my family and friends were not fond of him!) The fear of the unknown is what I fear as a single woman and wondering when or if the right guy will be apart of my life…I guess I just have to wait and see!

    • Lindsey G
      October 7, 2013

      Oh my gosh Lindsay!! Reading your response has me feeling like I’m not alone. You hit every detail of how I’m feeling, what I’m experiencing and what I have experienced. I too was in a pretty crappy relationship that I chose to put to an end almost a year ago. I often find myself wondering if I will ever meet someone like him and his good qualities again or if I’m just one of the chosen that will date but never marry. I have recently made the decision to delete Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone because it only serves as a constant reminder that everyone is happy and getting married or having children and I am not! I’m now starting to get to the point where the only way I’m going to release this obsession of mine is by using the present as time to better myself and do all of the things I couldn’t do when I was in a relationship. Now fall is here though and right around the corner is the holidays the time of year where every song every movie is about “that special someone you’re in love with or falling in love with”. For now ill just focus on midterms and work the rest is out of my hands:)

    • Rebecca
      October 19, 2013

      Sometimes I feel like I am the ONLY ONE who has this intense fear of not finding the right one. I just got out of a relationship where I now realize I was totally settling because I didn’t want to be alone. Now I feel like it is me against the world. Everyone around me is married, engaged or in a very happy relationship. I just keep asking myself “when will it be my turn?” It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I have been the girl who is ALWAYS in a relationship and always with a man. I am really trying to figure out, how to get away from that and still be happy with myself. Really trying to refocus on positive things, going back to school and pursuing my dream job. Even in my mid-late twenties, I guess it’s never too late, right?

  12. Adrienne
    October 7, 2013

    I have the very legitimate fear (as proven by some incidents in my past) of not being capable of being a good partner should the opportunity arise. I don’t share space well, unless it is with someone as neat as me (I seem to keep finding either slobs or “Sleeping with the Enemy” types!). I don’t want to invest a lot of time in another person (as of yet) and, being not just independent but ANTI-dependent and manic about not burdening anyone else with my “stuff”, I tend to send the message that you’d better be able to handle any and everything and I’m just there for companionship and fun. That is my fear.

  13. DeeKaye
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of being alone forever, and especially of dying alone…and no one even noticing I’m gone for days/weeks. 🙁 (Hey, it’s happened — I’ve seen it in the news.)

  14. Sharon Havener
    October 7, 2013

    Well,,first off, I am ( much) older then all the replies I have read.. I am in deed a single woman. I was married twice, had my family, my career ( nurse), then divorced both times. It has been over 20 years since my last divorce, and I can honestly say, I am the happiest now then almost ever..I am retired,not wealthy but healthy. I really don’t have many fears,,but will admit as a senior woman living alone,,,I am (guarded) in the evenings. I play over in my head what I will do if I hear someone trying to break in. I have a gun and feel I would probably use it if necessary..Other then my personal welfare,finance is my only other possible concern( like everyone). I truly feel like the luckiest,,happiest,,ever and wish all you young women who have not experienced the ups and downs of marriage the green light to try it,,the worst is you will end up like me,,THE HAPPIEST EVER..❤

    • Thabi
      October 8, 2013

      Wow Sharon thank you for sharing this, I think we do need to hear from someone of your calibre who has been there and back, who says I’m having the best time of my life. Because all we ever hear is how bad and lonely once you reach
      fifties single! I take this as a valuable information. I am in my early 30s and have no inclination for marriage.

    • October 8, 2013

      I am right there with you Sharon! I am 56, twice divorced. Once from my 2 yr. starter marriage where we were both too young, and the 2nd from my 20+ year marriage to who I thought was the love of my life but the love of his life turned out to be alcohol. He gave up our marriage, his two wonderful kids (now grown) and a successful career making 6 figures for the bottle. That was 6 years ago and while I wish he had chosen differently, I am by far the happiest I have ever been. Me, my dog, my horses and my little farm. I am independent, healthy, physically fit and have the luxury of time to do some soul searching/spiritual development as I wish. It would be great to be able to share my wonderful existence with someone, but I will not settle for another toxic, troubled soul demanding that I make him happy and fuel his ego. That seems to be the primary type of men in my age group who are out there looking, but I refuse to say “all” are like that. There could be one out there for me who is different! But if not, it’s ok because I have a great life on my own and after I retire in 5-7 years, I will be able to decide for myself what I do, when I do it and where I do it without having to negotiate with anyone. Sounds selfish when I say that, but I feel I’ve paid my dues and am grateful for the opportunities ahead of me!

  15. janette
    October 7, 2013

    The fear of not having a partner for life. As A yound widow I did find a great love. My fear is that he was the only love for my lifetime. In deep like now…but the fear is still there…May all u ladies as nmyself lose the FEAR; False Evidence Appearing Real!

  16. October 7, 2013

    I stumbled across this site a few days ago and I find it quite intriguing to say the least. But, what I am most surprised about is the number of people who are still young, single and have fear in their 20’s. I say young well, cause 40 is approaching me quickly. I am single and as much as every one else here, I have the same desires, hopes and dreams much like you do. My greatest fear about being single is that I have so much love to give to a partner and that not happening has brought me to my knees many of days. WAIT, I use wait instead, it is this love that I allow my chosen mate who adores and appreciates me to the fullest to ease into my life. Fear is to be embraced like some one said above. Embrace, sit with it, and let it move on. Everyone of us is unique and and precious and love will happen, don’t resist it, but embrace the journey cause its a wild ride!
    Much love and peace to everyone.

  17. Emily Williamson
    October 7, 2013

    I am a single mother, and desire more children and my child begs for a sibling. I fear this will never happen, and not only will I have to continue to bear motherhood alone (although I do LOVE it), but that my child will experience this solitude if he never has a sibling to share life with.

  18. Julia
    October 7, 2013

    My experiences with relationships have been brutal. Every time I come away from them a little less sure about what I am. I, officially, handed over my “get to pick my own boyfriend” card because the last one hurt me, used me and then one of my closest friends and him got together when he and I were still together…I just fear that this is a cycle I can’t escape. My first live left me for someone who looked like me (which is creepy I might add) and my second wanted everything but refused to give anything and the third was when I really started to wonder if it was me. While rationally…I know it’s not me. I did everything I could and beyond that but I do live myself enough to know I am enough. Still…I fear that because of my past I am just closing myself off more. Does that make any sense? I mean..I’m scared that because I have been hurt and betrayed more than once there might not he much left in me that could take a leap of faith. It’s something that makes me sad sometimes. But overall…I’m happy…maybe because I am too stubborn to let my fear stop me. If I really want something I go for it. So maybe live will be the same…I’ll just have to wait and see 🙂

  19. Catherine
    October 7, 2013

    Be assured, single woman. You will be married one day. I truly believe it with all my heart. We are the same age. I turned 34 in April, and I am getting martied this coming May. I believe you desire marriage, but are fulfilling a purpose in your singleness for right now. God will give you the desire of your heart in His time.

    • Catherine
      October 7, 2013

      That would be married, not martied! Lol!

  20. Beth T
    October 7, 2013

    I am a married women reading these entries on fear. I was single until age 41. I married and then had a child at age 43. My daughter is now 13 and I am 56. I have found that married life is not better than being single,just different. I have a great husband and a beautiful daughter but we have had our share of problems over the years. Don’t think you are missing out just because you are single. You have a different blessing than I do. Sometimes I miss having that blessing. You have an opportunity that I don’t in the fact that you have freedom to be whoever you want. I have to be wife and mother first before I can be me. I am glad God chose me to wait for marriage and family because I don’t know that I could have made the sacrifices that you have to make when you have a family. God knows what he is doing for each one of us, whether marriage and children are part of it or not. You each have a special calling on your life. Rise to the opportunity to be a blessing whatever situation you have. God is faithful! He has a plan, trust Him. He loves you!

    • April
      October 7, 2013

      Thanks Beth T for your honesty. I am 42 and still single with a desire to be married and have children. I praise God for my married friends who are so honest like yourself! There is no fear here, and I agree God has plan for each one of us. We have to embrace every season we are in. My biggest fear is that I won’t walk out the purpose and plan God has for my life! God Bless!

  21. Alisha Sperlik
    October 7, 2013

    my fear is just like everybody else. The fear of being alone forever. I was in a toxic, verbally abusive relationship. Married for 7 years. There are SOOO many things I miss about him. And I still love him. But I came to a place where I love myself more. And I came to the place that I am better off alone FOREVER, than in an unhappy, toxic marriage. We worry and worry about the future. I just turned 31. I have until 35 until I have no more eggs, right? At least that’s what I’m told. Well, today marks 1 month from the day my brother passed away. He died September 7th. And he was only 33. Stop worrying about tomorrow. NO ONE is promised tomorrow. I’m not going to worry about the day I turn 35, because I might not ever make it to 35. I am living in TODAY. And when you have down moments, the biggest thing my brother taught me was gratitude. He suffered from a rare form of cancer, he just got 6 months. He was perfectly healthy. But everyday during those long grueling 6 months of cancer, he found something to be grateful for. Don’t worry about tomorrow ladies. Focus on TODAY. What do you have to be grateful for? God is on our side and hears our prayers and he will bring the perfect mate in HIS perfect timing. Love to you all xo

  22. October 7, 2013

    Today’s post was a little hard to write because it felt a bit personal. I probably could have written more than I did but I kept it short. Just like most of you ladies, the fear of being alone always is there for me also.

  23. Rachelle
    October 7, 2013

    I think my biggest fear as a single person is never getting married and having my own family. Even though I’m content with being single now, I don’t want to be single forever. I would love the experience having a husband and my own kids and being apart of their lives. Sometimes I fear what if that never happens…

  24. Pam
    October 7, 2013

    I fear being alone , I am a widow have been now for 6 years. Every relationship I have been in has not worked , so I am in the waiting room right now waiting on God to prepare me and who he has for me. I don’t think I will be alone forever because I have ask God that if his plan and desires for me are to stay single that he would take any desire that he doesn’t have for me away… My desire for another companion has not gone so I am assuming that he is stillpreparin someone for me…. I am 46 and I feel I am to young to be alone…but what I fear most is bring able to provide for myself and my kids… I was a stay at home mom for 17 yrs before my husband got sick…so when he got ill I started a cleaning business, unfortunately I don’t make enough to sastain my house so I’m gonna need to sell my home…so I fear not making enough to afford another home! Sometimes I catch myself saying it would be so much easier with another income and to have someone around for support, but I know deep down God will take care of us but it’s just hard.

  25. Traycee Frey
    October 7, 2013

    My biggest fear of being single is the fear of dying alone. Singleness is NOT a choice for me personally, but it’s the choice & the season that God has placed me in, at this time. I think that b/c of the things others have said to me in my past (the not pretty enough, or skinny enough, or that I’m too smart, or just “too nice”) that I think that I hold myself back now. I just turned 40 in August, and with every passing birthday, and every passing holiday that I’m alone, that fear continues to grow. I don’t dwell on it daily – but it’s there always in the back of my mind.

  26. Eya Dollente
    October 7, 2013

    Day 04 🙂

    Impetuous of Insights: #TheSW30 DAY 04: Your biggest fear as a SINGLE per…

  27. Juliet
    October 7, 2013

    I also have the same fear Mandy…there are moments when I feel confident in being single for the time being but there are also occasions when I panic and think about whether or not I will ever going to have a family of my own and the thought just depresses me…but what I would like to believe is that God has prepared something so wonderful for me, I just have to be patient and faithful…I also have this habit of reciting bible passages like the one you have on the blog from Jeremiah…it makes me feel a lot better when I’m feeling unsure about my future…God declares: I have plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future – Jer 29:11…I would like to hold on to that promise…

  28. Trina
    October 7, 2013

    I am 28 years old and have never been asked on a date. What if I settle for the first guy that pays attention to me since it is taking so long? I guess that’s my short-term fear: settling. My fear is not on the back burner. It is something I think about everyday… Every time I see a couple hold hands and each time I see a mother holding her child. My biggest desire is to fall in love and become a mother. And I am nowhere near what I want in life. Naturally, being single forever is my ultimate fear.

  29. October 7, 2013

    Day 4 -

  30. Yolanda De La Cruz
    October 7, 2013

    After three abusive marriages and four adult children and just turning forty-seven this past June , I am blessed. I love being single . My children are about the only thing I’ve done right in my life, in raising them as a single parent and I can honestly pat myself on the back for a well done job. Now, my fear is that one day I won’t see them anymore once I’m gone.

  31. Shanell
    October 7, 2013
    All the replies in here speak volumes, I know none of you ladies but I feel like we have known each other forever. It’s always nice to know that I am not the only one rowing this boat.

  32. Kailie
    October 8, 2013

    The fear of becoming pickier as each day passes, and eventually settling for Mr.Wrong because I’m afraid I will never find my Mr. Right

  33. Angela
    October 8, 2013

    My fear is that i have already been given my Mr Right but screwed it up and lost him! What if one of my ex’s was supposed to be my foreve?!?!?!

  34. josephine
    October 8, 2013

    my biggest fear is never being able to love someone and be loved back. What if i never meet someone who appreciates and cherishes me for who I am?! I know am still young and i still have alot of time but after all the failed attempts I’ve had, what if it never happens?

  35. Zoe
    October 8, 2013

    My fears have all been listed by these fabulous single women above. It brings me comfort to know that I’m not the only one (cause sometimes it feels like it) going through this. I recently turned 29 and honestly not looking forward to entering my 30s single. I always feel like no one is ever good enough for me. I still trust in Him and nothing is impossible with God.

  36. Nati
    October 8, 2013

    Well I guess since I am too in my 30’s I don’t fear being single. I’m enjoying it so much! 🙂 I do hope to get married around the age of 40 or so since I don’t plan on having any kids. I guess I would be more fearful if I didn’t have my dad, bro, & sis around. I can’t say I’m scared to end up single the rest of my life but I do think it would suck to not experience that spousal kind of love

  37. Busiswe
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear is growing old alone and lonely. I try to keep upbeat about life and embrace my singleness but sometimes it feels like i will never find love. Find that person who will love me for me just as i am.

  38. Barb
    October 8, 2013

    I’m afraid that this is it – just me. I’m about to turn 43, no partner, no children, and facing the realization that this is it. I recently went to a funeral and what I noticed was the first three rows consisted of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of the deceased. It got me thinking – who would be sitting in the first three rows at my funeral???

    I remember in my 20s& 30s how happy I was. i travelled the world, had great jobs, fantastic friends, my own own and I genuinely believed one day it would all work out, that “my time” would be a later time but as I hit my 40s the hope faded, and the sadness crept in. The tears came every time I left another wedding, another engagement, another birth. I have no plan B – there was only ever Plan A, drawn in the shaky hand of a four year girl who,when in kindergarten was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, responded with a drawing of a dad, mum and a baby and said I want to be a Mrs and a Mum. Could it really only be just this -just me. I hope not.

  39. Maureen Olaya
    October 8, 2013

    Gosh what a difficult question. But I would have to say my biggest fear as a single woman is not finding someone who will love and respect my boys. I’m hopeful and faithful that God will put that person in my life that loves God, can and will love my kids, and will love me for everything I am.

  40. Tricia
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear is I’ll be single forever. My sons are teenagers now so I don’t mind being single while raising them. But once they are out of the house I’m afraid I’ll grow old alone.

  41. October 8, 2013

    dying alone, getting eaten by dogs. Ok cliche I know Bridget Jones’s Diary.
    Seriously, biggest fear not having kids.

  42. sholly
    October 8, 2013

    The fear of having to settle for less than I deserve… If mr RIGHT never comes along.. Yea that’s scary

  43. Natasha
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear as a single person is that i wont find true love again like i once had. I guess its because my previous relationship eneded so wrong, like that wasnt the ending of our story, like it was just beginning.. I was inlove with someone an then it was over.. So im just scared to not find that person who actually gets me like my ex did, or make me happy, all the while feeling safe, secure and most of all loved…

  44. grace
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear is never finding someone I can love and who can genuinely love me despite knowing my flaws.someone I can be myself with,make plans with,share my joys and sorrows with knowing he will hold me tight and wipe my tears away.

  45. Emily
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear is ending up in another toxic relationship and losing myself again. I finally found myself and love myself but I still have work to do on not falling for the “bad boy” type. I’m blessed that I have two children from my marriage so that I don’t feel the “clock” ticking but I would like to find the person God has intended for me, I just have really bad judgement when it comes to determining who that is.

  46. October 8, 2013

    Well firstly, I’m only 20 so I know I still have some time before I even need too think about settling down. However, I am very independent and mature and go about my life with my own bills and adult life just as any adult does. With that being said I also have gone through high school drama and ridiculously toxic relationships. My most recent being a girl I called my sister date my most recent and heartbreaking ex boyfriend out of spite of me and now they are in love. (I also have too work with her almost daily because I got her a job at my workplace) anyways my whole point of that little bit of my history is the reasoning why my biggest fear of as a single woman is settling for someone I am not completely in love with because I feel they are safe enough to be with because they will not cheat or leave me for someone else. It seems all my past ex boyfriends have left or cheated with someone else on me and now had wonderful relationships. I’ve been loyally for every man in my life and yet I sit alone. I am scared I will settle for only just good enough. To anyone who read this. Thank you for taking the time to read what a lonely 20 year old has to say.

  47. Annette
    October 8, 2013

    My biggest fear of being single is going on first dates! They give me a stomach ache! Afraid of saying too much or too little…afraid they will say too much or too little! ….if it makes it to date #2, it gets a bit easier! 45 yr old single, very independent mom!

  48. Karoline
    October 9, 2013

    My biggest fear is that no one will be able to see past my looks and get to know the person I am underneath- fall in love with my mind and my personality and want to get to really know me rather than just harp on about the pretty or whatever. I am ready to meet a man who wants something deeper than just shallow but just can’t seem to meet this person.

  49. Tavalon
    October 9, 2013

    Dying alone. As much as I am committed to me being just me, I really think I want to create a friend group so that when the time comes, there’s someone to ring the bell and another to read the rights words and just someone to hold me hand.

  50. Kelly
    October 9, 2013

    Not ever finding my forever soulmate. I know I wont ever again settle for less than what is true, pure, real love. I really dont fear it because I know God wll bring him to me. As a matter of fact God may have already put him in my life somehow, somewhere. Im patient. 🙂

  51. October 9, 2013

    This one was hard. I hate admitting how low of a self esteem I have.

  52. October 10, 2013

    Man. I needed that. Sometimes I forget about that scripture. Thanks.
    Check out my blog btw!!

  53. Dawn
    October 15, 2013

    My biggest fear is failing my kids. I want them to have a positive male role model in their lives. I worry if I will be able to find a man who would be willing to nurture my kids. To show my daughter how a woman should be treated and my boys how a man should act. I am leaving it in Gods hands, but it is my biggest worry.

  54. thatgirl
    October 17, 2013

    My biggest fear as a single person is that there is no one and will be no one to witness me.

  55. Elizabeth
    October 19, 2013

    I completely relate to your post and find comfort in knowing it’s not just me! I am successful in my career, have tons of quality friends, a great family, and a personal relationship with Christ. I am 28 and not married. I want marriage, but I want a man who I know I can’t live without and who will honor and love me. I ,too, have my “Mr Big” as you posted about in one of your other posts. I think often the hardest thing to do is just let go. Let go of our hopes, fears, and desires and trust the One who holds our very lives in His hands. This is a daily journey and sometimes struggle for me, but I am working on it!

  56. Ngoni
    October 19, 2013

    Being alone. I have conquered that fear. Now, I embrace it!

  57. October 22, 2013
  58. October 28, 2013

    I’m not sure if this is out of point but as a single mum this is my biggest fear.

  59. azure
    November 8, 2013

    one of my biggest fears currently is , like everyone else, the prolonged period of being single unintentionally. falling for someone who will not appreciate me and know my worth and value. Basically it boios down to me to ensure that they know my worth and high value. God never answers prayers with a ‘NO’’s either a ‘Yes’ , ‘Not yet’ or ‘ I’ve got something better in mind for you.’
    He knows you and your beautiful heart, He knows what is best for you better than you know yourself. Let’s all trust in Him nd continue speaking to Him. His love is beyond us.

  60. Sad n Lonely
    November 19, 2013

    Nice to see so many of us have the same fear. At 43 I fear I let my soulmate get away and I will never ever again feel the same about someone as I did him.

  61. November 19, 2013

    Being alone. Never finding someone who loves me. I take full responsibility for spending the last 14 years with someone who is completely inappropriate and “temporary” and it makes me angry that I have wasted so much of my time. But I’ve been absolutely terrified to cut him completely out of my life. Maybe one day, and maybe by then it won’t be too late.

  62. Diana
    November 19, 2013

    The fear of not having someone who will make me his only one, and always have to be settling for less than the best for me. Fear of not being completely loved and accepted by someone. Fear to not having anyone by my side to whom I can share my happiness, my loneliness, my fears, my sadness, my miracles, my blessings.

  63. November 19, 2013

    Great response ladies. I’m almost in my mid-twenties, been in relationships before and sometimes I really miss being in one but then I ask what do I really miss?
    I have learned that waiting for God rocks and did I mention that its almost painful too.

    If you are single, pour your entire self into developing yourself, helping others and above all, fulfilling purpose-your God-given path.
    Every fear is from the devil, there’s no fear in love, rather perfect love(God’s love) drives out all fear.
    And realize that whatever is placed in God’s hands always turns out well. The end is a beautiful one!
    If God could keep you and bring you this far, is the man of your dreams too much?

    I totly recommend this book “Lady in Waiting” by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall.
    Your gift awaits!

  64. Margaret
    November 19, 2013

    The fear of not finding my soulmate, not just a husband, but he who compliments me. The one who I don’t have to change to please or satify.

  65. Julie
    November 19, 2013

    I am 51 and a widow, and I have no living family. My parents and two older brothers have all passed. My only child, my son, is 21. I love time to myself and value my privacy but I do get lonely and fear once my son moves out I am going to sink into depression and old age and have no one.

  66. Michele
    December 20, 2013

    My biggest fear is holidays.. Every holiday whether in a relationship or single I am alone.. Never finding a man that can give me that unconditional love.. Enough to be there,, and truly know he has me.. Cause his actions say the exact opposite of what his mouth usually says..

  67. December 25, 2013

    My biggest fear as a single person,

    I am afraid that after ohh so many heartbreaks, failed relationships, and disappointing encounters that I might loose my hope in love, my inner joy and cheerfulness and become bitter. I don’t want to be that grouchy old lady rocking on her chair in her front porch petting her dog’s head and yelling at the kids as they walk by. I want to retain all my positive attributes, in spite of any hardships I might encounter in life.
    I want to continue to see the good in others, to love romantic comedies, and to believe that love is real. I don’t ever want to loose that, because I love to smile more than I love to frown and I love to laugh (and laugh hard) more than I love to cry. I want to keep my rose colored glasses on, even if it might get to be out of style or corny. I love them so, they might have small cracks but they haven’t lost it’s tint and even when I am old and gray I would still want to rock them.

  68. Deborah
    January 3, 2014

    My biggest fear is not being good enough for someone.

  69. Robin
    January 28, 2014

    my biggest fear isn’t actually that I might never find someone. its that it will take so long to finally find someone that my whole life will have already passed me by bye the time I actually do get married. I don’t want to get married but be too tired to ever do anything. the idea of getting married much later scares me because I don’t want to end up with someone who has the attitude of “I did all that crazy fun stuff with I was younger. I’m content to just stay home and relax after a hard days work now.” i’m afraid of getting married and than just sitting on the couch all day everyday. of course in every marriage things settle down eventually but I don’t want it to be right away.

  70. les
    April 1, 2014

    My biggest fear is to end up settling for a guy just because of loneliness.. I refuse to sacrifice my happiness and if thats the case i think being single for good will actually do me good..The nicest thing is that I am not desperate to have someone of a male creature.

  71. Gabbi
    August 14, 2014

    My biggest fear is that I’ve lost all faith in God because in His word it says that God fulfills the desires of your heart. But unfortunately that’s not the case. My faith in God was so strong for over 20 years believing and patiently waiting. But being late 30s how can I believe in Him and trust He will help me. Faith is almost gone 🙁

  72. September 26, 2014

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate
    to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle
    for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google
    account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this site with my
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  73. September 27, 2014

    Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article.
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  74. This will ensure that all the nerve connections to the
    heart are cut off, your heart may stop beating altogether.
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  75. October 15, 2014

    My mom didn’t get married until she was 34. We had four kids 🙂

  76. Georgia
    April 12, 2015

    I just recently came across this webpage. I just had to write to get this off my chest. My biggest fear is that I will be alone until the day I die; and will have never been in love. I know I shouldn’t worry and I should give it all to God, but it gets harder each new season, each new year. I am a virgin in my thirties, I have never dated or kissed a guy; I don’t have a clue about flirting. As much as I want to be in a relationship, I stop myself because I have this unrealistic fear of men. This mainly comes from getting sexually abused when I was a child. So I am good at avoiding men, and now my walls are more like a fortress. I don’t tell my friends or family because my age makes me feel ridiculous. So my biggest fear is dying and at my funeral my friends and family will be there, but no lover who’s seen my lowest and most vulnerable self and still thought I was beautiful.

  77. April 17, 2015

    Your style is really unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from.
    Thank you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this blog.

  78. TheRealTruth
    May 28, 2015

    Well then there are many of us good single men looking for a good woman to settle down with, and many of us are afraid that we will never meet the right one.

  79. A suffer of PCOS
    March 9, 2016

    I absolute greatest fear in my life. Is having to look my some day husband in the eyes, and telling him that I can never have children with him because I haven’t had a period in three years despite being only 24 years old.

  80. Tshego
    October 14, 2016

    My biggest fear is being a sad desperate lonely old hag who is bitter and angry because no one wanted her. Dressing inapproprietly for my age becaise I have hopes that I will attract someone but that never happens because no one is attracted to that sort of being. Settling for someone ugly and dull because desperation. Being that woman that young girls dont want to be. Being hit on by shady men because they think I am an easy target. Having everyone feel sorry for me because I am a spinster.

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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only