Day 2: Describe a Moment When Being Single Really Sucked

Day 2Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

This is where it starts to get real, y’all! As you know, my message is all about loving and appreciating and celebrating your single life…BUT…doing it in a real, authentic, honest way. And if we’re going to keep it real with this blogging challenge, then I’ll be the first to admit that while 99% of the time, I love my single life…every once in awhile, I have a day where it just plain sucks.

One of my favorite things to do on a pretty day is go read in the park. I have a favorite giant old oak tree that I sit under, and that coupled with a blanket, a stack of books, and my Starbucks literally makes for a dream day for me. In those quiet, peaceful moments (and sometimes hours) that I sit under that tree in the sunshine, I feel complete and total bliss. It’s like the rest of the world fades away and I am free from the busyness of my schedule and email inbox and responsibilities. Free to daydream and travel to faraway magical places in whatever book I’m reading and escape reality for the wild limitless landscape of my imagination.

One recent day under my tree, however, I happened to look over to my right to a cluster of trees a little deeper into the park. I noticed a hammock tied between two of the trees and smiled, thinking to myself how wonderfully peaceful it looked. Then I looked a little closer and saw that a couple was lying in the hammock. They had their heads and feet in opposite directions and each was reading their own book as the hammock rocked back and forth lightly in the breeze. As I watched, I saw the guy reach out and take his girlfriend’s (wife’s?) hand gently as they both continued to read. It was such a natural, sweet, fluid gesture, something they no doubt did several times every day. To them it was just something they took for granted – reaching out for a hand to grab and finding it. But to me, I might as well have been watching a movie with Greek subtitles, that’s how incomprehensible the certainty of having a hand to hold felt to me. And in that moment, my heart broke a little.

Though I turned back to my own book and stopped staring at the couple, lest they think I was some weird stalker girl…I couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness in my gut. For me, the grand moments of life don’t really phase me as a single person: Attending my book launch alone, going to a movie alone, not having a date to a friend’s wedding. I rarely bat an eye at any of those things and am, for the most part, content and confident to fly solo. It’s in the quiet moments that I really FEEL my aloneness: In that moment someone hurts my feelings and I wish I had someone there to defend me or simply provide a shoulder to cry on, in that moment my GPS takes me somewhere crazy and I have no one to weigh in on which way to go, in that moment I’m sitting under a tree in a park reading a book and wishing I had someone there beside me to take my hand the way the guy in the hammock took his love’s hand. In those moments, my walls come down, and I admit to myself that sometimes being single just HURTS.

That feeling usually passes pretty quickly for me and I get back to remembering why I love my singleness so much…but I think the thing to remember in those vulnerable moments is this: I don’t know whether I’ll ever have someone there to grab my hand in the park, but I can’t let that stop me from reaching out my hand to grab onto other things (and I mean that a lot nicer than it sounds – LOL!) There’s SO much joy and possibility and life to grab onto that has nothing whatsoever to do with finding love or romance. I can grab my friends’ hands. I can grab my nieces’ hands. I can grab a homeless person’s hand and pray with them, as I’ve been known to do. I can grab the opportunity to speak life and hope and love into the hearts of others. Heck, I can even grab a pair of designer shoes if I want, because I have no one to answer to about how ridiculously expensive they are! And I can grab HAPPINESS. It’s there. It’s a different sort of happiness than the couple in the hammock – but happiness is still happiness, any way you slice it.

I hope you reach out and grab your own form of happiness today.

You’re invited to join in my 30-Day Blogging Challenge!  All the details HERE! 🙂 Make sure you hashtag all posts on Twitter #TheSW30!

103 Responses to “ Day 2: Describe a Moment When Being Single Really Sucked ”

  1. October 5, 2013

    Day 2 fun

    • Ali
      October 6, 2013

      Beautifully written!! Thank goodness there’s other women out there that are ok with being single! It’s not a life sentence, it’s an adventure.

      Love your work and am looking forward to following the 30 days!! xxx

    • Euni
      October 6, 2013

      I try to enjoy my single life as much. But still, there are those quiet moments when my car breaks n i want someone to be there for me, when my son or me gets ill n i keep wishing, when the nights seems so long, watching the wedding episodes on tv and so much more. But there is that goodness also when you dont have to say where you going and when u come back, when you treat urself anyhow…… those great moments. Thanks God i found out about you…. im getting stronger!

    • Paige
      October 7, 2013

      A close friend died beside me a work one. She was only 34, married with 2 children. I had to call her husband and tell him. Worst day ever! I just wanted a hug and comfort. I came home to my empty house – made a few calls to friends & family seeking comfort, but I really just needed human touch and for someone to acknowledge I had the worst day ever.

    • erin
      October 7, 2013

      I would have to say the answer to the question is a particular day when being single sucks .. and that is valentines day .. i think a lot of you can agree … this is a great blog .. i am enjoying reading it 🙂

    • October 12, 2013

      #The thing is if only one will understand what it means by been single. Many don’t get it that the glory of every man or woman is in their singlehood. Rather than cry about how a lover has not showed up, identify destiny and be passionate about it. You will realise that every other thing including a life lover follows without strugle. Grab your deatiny, the wife or husband you are looking for is in the package. Trust me. Is not over yet!

    • Robin
      January 18, 2014

      I like the idea of holding someone’s hand to pray for them rather than just thinking in terms of having a lover’s hand to hold. I too often forget that I can hold other’s hands in different contexts.

    • Lisa
      September 30, 2014

      Even though you wrote this a year ago, it still very relevant. It speaks to me on many levels.
      Thank you!

  2. October 5, 2013

    A few times in the past 3 yrs when being single really sucked is when I didn’t have my kids on NYE & I had nothing to do since my girlfriends were all busy. And a few Sat. Nites again when I had no kids & all my friends were busy. Laying in bed by 7pm alone and feeling sorry for myself! But gotta say after reading Miss Mandy’s book I feel very different about those times & now I embrace being happy alone or I’ll take myself out on a date! I’m the best date ever! Lol #THESW30

  3. Donna
    October 5, 2013

    Like you, it’s the quiet times that get me. I recently went on a vacation by myself. I was so proud of myself for scheduling it, arranging to stay with friends and plan what/where/when I was going. Then, on the second leg of my flight to my destination, I was seated next to a couple. A middle aged couple who were obviously very much companions who enjoyed being with each other. It almost derailed me, and I shed a couple of tears at the thought of not being able to share my adventure with someone close to me. Did I enjoy my vacation? Most definitely. Did I enjoy my vacation because I only had to worry about me? ABSOLUTELY. Would I have enjoyed having a special someone to share it with – yes.

  4. October 5, 2013

    Ouch… the emptiness in those moments are rough. I’ve been reading through the blogs posted already and it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who feels that loneliness, anger, hollowness at times.

    But I have to think that because we know the depths, we also must know incredible heights of joy and community (which will make tomorrow’s blogs AWESOME and encouraging) to compare and know just how low we fell but how far God and others will lift us back up.

  5. Natasha
    October 5, 2013

    I would have to say being single sucks more than it should these days, fresh out of a relationship, i have moments when i see couples together paired up an they look so happy together. I mean laughing, smiling just enjoying each others presence , I love to see that despite my situation.It makes me missed the times when i had a significant other. That is when being single sucks that most!!

    • Alison
      October 5, 2013

      Natasha, I agree with you in regards to the sting of singleness being especially intense right out of a relationship. You create a space for another individual in mostly a “single serve life” and then when they are gone it is empty. I try to remind myself that I do deserve that connection with someone and that when the individual is right, it will happen.

  6. grace
    October 5, 2013

    Being single sucks when you are down emotionally and you need someone who loves and understands you to be there to wipe away your tears and just listen to you.been single gives you the freedom to do anything you think is right witout having to think of disturbing hubby or kids
    routine.that’s d time to let ur hair down and chase your dreams.

  7. amanda mabu
    October 5, 2013

    I’m lying thinking and dreaming of how the next few years will feel like being alone, my daughter is sleeping next to me but I feel so lonely. Then again I feel stupid because I have my best friend, daughter and life companion who’s going to love me forever. I’ve been through a crazy relationship and finally I found amanda(me) I live my days like its carnival because I’ve learnt to love myself and forgive myself. One thing I’m grateful for is the power to find me and love me. Being single has it perks!!! The anger finally fades away!

  8. Chariot
    October 5, 2013

    I am newly divorced and now all of my friends who got married around the same time as me are having babies and it is so very hard to live this life but with social media being so ramped having the constant reminder of the life I used to live and the track I used to be on.

  9. April
    October 5, 2013

    This is going to sound really crazy, but being single sucks when my car breaks down! LOL! I really do not have anyone to rely on but AAA. It would be nice to have someone to take me around and help me when this happens. It’s a little different for me due to the fact that I came from a homelife where everyone was always angry, fighting, and yelling so I do enjoy the peace of being alone. It’s a God peace that surpasses all understanding. But I definitely wouldn’t mind being in a hammock rocking peacefully with my Beloved!

  10. Gracey
    October 5, 2013

    Right now I don’t like being single. I miss the ‘not alone’ part. Most people around me have a bf or gf. Some are younger than me and already married, settled. I make plans to get into flirts, dates, anything with anyone just to NOT be alone. I know I shouldn’t even think about it. But loneliness cuts as a knife sometimes. It hurts. Is there something wrong with me that I can’t attract someone who I see myself grow old with?

    • grace
      October 6, 2013

      I don’t think there is something wrong with you, it may have to do with the way you think, where you think you can find happiness, I’ve been single for 3 years and while I understand the loneliness after breaking up, You can also take this time (your single time) to know yourself better and know God better. Being single made me seek God’s companionship more than ever and I also came to my worth, feeling alone and being depressed can sometimes mislead us, like you said, you’re ready to do anything to just not be alone, I felt the same way after breaking up but God made me realize how he’s made me special and that someday if He wills it, there’s also someone out there for me. Take this period as a challenge to improve yourself, know God better and find what your purpose really is, it’s going to be hard but it won’t always be raining. I faithfully believe that everything happens for a reason, and this period/ event is not an exception. You are beautiful, amazing, and wonderful because you are God’s princess. Don’t settle, God has a plan for you.

  11. Isabelle-O
    October 5, 2013

    Today, I decided to treat myself to a shopping spree just because it was the weekend, so I hit the mall. I got all dolled up and armed with a spring in my step and a smile on my face and I went to the mall. Unfortunately though, the mall seemed to hold no interest for me and for some reason I felt the loneliest I’ve been. Why? Because subconsciously, I was hoping to catch some dazzling guy’s eye, strike up a conversation or atleast have a few appreciative glasses my way- but nothing! Today being single sucked because no matter how happy & content I am from Monday-Friday, during the weekends, when I’m idle, I get lonely & so I go out, hoping to speed things along & find my guy already.

    • Annie
      October 5, 2013

      Been there many times. It’s kinda like that song “Did I shave my legs for this?”!

  12. Maureen Olaya
    October 5, 2013

    Being single sucks on those nights when you just want to be held and told you were beautiful.

  13. christin
    October 5, 2013

    being single sucks when the kids r all out n theres no one around to talk to or hug u when u just wanna cry theres no one to help if fix the car or the washer or whatever needs to be fixed or when all ur friends n family have someone in ur life its just lonely

  14. October 5, 2013

    I’m really getting into this!

  15. Tanya
    October 5, 2013

    The day that being single really sucks, is the day that should have been my wedding day. Although, I spent the first one with two of my close friends, I still felt an emptiness. Every holiday that passes, I reminisce about the holidays we spent together with our families. Yes, I need to focus on me and I have a couple close friends that love and support me and are there for me when I need someone to talk too, but that one day will always stick out in my mind.

  16. October 5, 2013

    “It’s in the quiet moments that I really FEEL my aloneness: In that moment someone hurts my feelings and I wish I had someone there to defend me or simply provide a shoulder to cry on, in that moment my GPS takes me somewhere crazy and I have no one to weigh in on which way to go, in that moment I’m sitting under a tree in a park reading a book and wishing I had someone there beside me to take my hand the way the guy in the hammock took his love’s hand. In those moments, my walls come down, and I admit to myself that sometimes being single just HURTS.”


  17. Traycee Frey
    October 5, 2013

    The hardest “single” moment for me is the holidays! I moved 2 years ago (job transfer) to a place where I knew no one (moved from Austin, Texas to St. Paul, MN). Christmas has always been one of my favorite seasons of the year, esp. going to watch Christmas lights, just the holiday spirit in general. But being in a new place (mixed w/me being shy), mixed with singleness, calls for a feeling of deep loneliness, I hate going to the malls now during the season (and I live like 7 miles from the Mall of America!!) unless I have to, watching all the couples, def gives me a deeper sense of loneliness. As tough & lonely as it is, I believe that God has a purpose for this season of “Loneliness & Singleness” in my life – just WHAT it is remains to be known, but I believe he will show his purpose some day. So for the 2 Christmas’s that I have spent here, and the third one coming upon on, I still believe in the fairytales & pray that I’ll have mine someday – but until then…..I’ll have a Holiday date with the Hallmark Channel & my love Mr. Iced Hazelnut Coffee!

  18. Rosa
    October 5, 2013

    Agreed with many of the posts! I would also add: anytime I am at a family event (especially weddings!)… although my immediate family is supportive, for my extended family, being Italian and single at 33 is a no-no! I’m always asked why I’m not married yet – and it does hurt, especially when I’m asked about having kids – however, I’ve now learned to be strong and confident, and answer with responses like “oh, I’m sorry, I’ve been too busy building my career, and travelling the world to visit the husband store.” 🙂

    • Traycee Frey
      October 5, 2013

      I love your last line! I’m so going to have to use that!!

  19. Adrienne
    October 5, 2013

    Wow! Amazing how difficult that is to answer. I guess it would have to be when I want to go hiking or mountainbiking or go somehwere where it is dangerous to go alone and none of my girlfriends are available. Howver, since I have so many girlfriends, that is SELDOM the case! Being single RARELY sucks!

  20. Evette
    October 5, 2013

    I agree with the comments noted. I never pay attention to my singleness until I see other couples around me. It sucks being single (sometimes) when I am out enjoying my singleness, but then I realize that I am surrounded by a whole bunch of couples and there is not one single person in sight! That sucks, so I try to avoid those situations if I can. I try to go where I think other singles will be.

  21. Christine D
    October 5, 2013

    For me, it’s a moment….at a wedding when everyone gets up to join in the first dance with the happy couple and I’m left sitting at the table….alone. Other than that moment, I love my single life and wouldn’t change it for anything.

  22. Jennifer
    October 5, 2013

    Wow Mandy! The moment you describe as your “sucky single moment” sounds a lot like mine! It is also those quiet times that really seem to make it hard for me. I can be “out and about” alone, yet enjoying myself, but when I see a tender moment between a loving couple, I think my heart breaks a little each time. A man putting a reassuring arm around his sweetheart, or a couple holding hands – seeing those things tend to remind me that I don’t have anyone to give me that reassuring touch – sometimes I wonder if I will ever have that. It seems to be getting even harder for me at times because of my age (I’m 41, never married, several disappointing relationships). I try not to linger there too long though! Thanks for the reminder that I can choose to grab happiness!

    • Annie
      October 5, 2013

      Could not agree more! I’m 37, never been married, do not have any children and I have wondered on numerous occasions “what is wrong with me?”!

  23. October 5, 2013

    day 2 challenge accepted!

  24. Annie
    October 5, 2013

    Im so thankful I discovered this blog! Finally some women I can relate to!

  25. Katrina
    October 5, 2013

    Being single really sucks when you have to work with the guy that you really like and want to date knowing he doesn’t feel the same about you and worse is knowing that he likes another girl that you work with. Listening to them flirt makes me want to scream.

  26. October 5, 2013

    Christmas and New Year’s Eve are the worst days for mn as a single woman. I see my family on Christmas, but I’m completely left out of the conversation. NYE I go to bed early.

  27. Frank
    October 5, 2013

    I don’t get any attention from single women, but married women are a different story. Current and last GF’s are still married but both reached out to me looking for love. I’m divorced but can’t seem to get my ex to stop texting and calling. I guess single gals are are too worried about looks?. although i will say my gf has gotten me to clean my house regularly and I’m considering joining a gym. the vegetarian thing and no drinking are difficult. but when we lie in bed and just talk with her leg wrapped around me… it just doesn’t get any better. time flies.. i think it’s been 30 mins and it ends up being 2 hrs.

  28. Hoosierlady05
    October 5, 2013

    One moment is hearing an ex got married. It’s not me wanting me to marry my ex just the fact he got married before me. I guess it’s selfishness lol. Another moment is seeing husbands supporting their wives at The Mary Kay Conventions. I just look and say I can’t wait for my husband to come support and celebrate my greatest accomplishments.

  29. Veronica
    October 6, 2013

    It sucks being single when you don’t have single friends!! 🙁 I enjoy doing things alone but that gets tiring after a while. Sometimes you wanna hang out with your friends and have a good time without having to hear all about their boyfriends all night.

  30. October 6, 2013

    I have found that being single is most challenging when you have fallen for someone who does not return your feelings. For me, rejection is the hardest part of being single, especially when you struggle with self esteem issues. Read my post to see how I overcame it 🙂

  31. Jay
    October 6, 2013

    Being single sucks when I am hanging alone in a park,mall and see people holding hands and you see the chemistry. I am not jeoulousbecausr I am happy it does exist..but wonder if my hand will be held agsin

  32. Ann
    October 6, 2013

    The worst time I can recall being single was my father’s funeral. I’m well in my 40’s and have always been single. I recall vividly the pain of losing my only parent. As the family was exiting the church, I felt as if I would collapse. Surrounded by my 7 siblings, all of whom are married and were clinging to their partners, I have never felt more alone. I’m a pretty strong woman, but that moment shattered me. Sorry for the maudlin story but you asked. Im like anyone else normally, some days single is great and other days, not so much. But, most married folk would say the same about being married.

  33. Katie
    October 6, 2013

    I would agree that most times it is on the quiet moments that being single sucks…not because I don’t get upset in public, but because I refuse to let others see me cry about it. I have never been asked out on a date or been in a relationship and that plain sucks sometimes. I love Christmas time and sometimes wish I had someone to spend it with. Yes, there are days where I am glad I don’t have to rush home to cook dinner for someone, but there are also days when I would love to do just that….There is no way around it…Singleness sucks sometimes. However, you are totally right when you say we have to redirect that sadness into something else. Thanks for being open and honest.

  34. Angela Buse
    October 6, 2013

    I grew up as an only child so I am well versed in entertaining myself. I always had suitors around and so do now at the age of 42. The times I was truly lonely was when I was in unhappy relationships, knowing I wasn’t loved anymore but wasn’t free enough to look for love elsewhere. As long as I am single, there will always be enough freedom and opportunity to make me feel hopeful. The only time being single was hard when I had to rush one of my toddlers to the ER at midnight while trying to pack up the other one and not wake him up. Then I got a house mate, a single dad, and that wasn’t an issue anymore.

  35. October 6, 2013

    No it’s not valentines day or your friends wedding-

  36. October 6, 2013

    Linked the wrong one-

  37. Candy
    October 6, 2013

    Sorry to say ladies, but I have a different outlook on the single life than a lot of you. Being single is hard for me when I have heavy duty work that needs to be done. Although most things I have learned to do for myself or with a little help from neighbours, co workers & paying kids for their services. I am in the midst of getting my winter wood placed under cover and with so many indoor things to do, I don’t feel lonely, but a LITTLE needy. I have 2 kids & 2 fathers, but would rather do it myself for an hour a day than ask them for help. This is where being single is like climbing a mountain – once you get to the top, you realize you COULD do it after all!!

  38. October 6, 2013

    Love this post! I so appreciate your transparency!!

    Here’s my day 2:

  39. Sunny
    October 6, 2013

    Being single sucks when you see the person you were once madly in love with loving someone else.

  40. K
    October 6, 2013

    There was a time a few years back when about 6 or 7 of my co-workers were engaged (and younger than me). I remember one specific day when they were all gathered around talking wedding plans, then another group was talking about their husbands and children. I felt very much like an outsider. I was depressed about it for a while… Like how are these young girls getting a boyfriend, engaged and married and I cant even get a friggin date?!? About a year later I gave it over to God because I was sick and tired of being sad that I have noone to share my life with, and although I am still single, I am okay with my singleness. Yes it hurts sometimes when I see happy couples doing couple things together, but God knows when I (or he) will be ready for a relationship.

  41. Gina
    October 6, 2013

    Being single sucks when I am at work and feel isolated and left out of almost every conversation because I dont’t have kids or a husband. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it’s hard. I can’t even join the conversation because I have no frame of reference to talk about. I want to think it’s unintentional and not meant to exclude me.

  42. Jenny
    October 6, 2013

    Whenever I’m interested in going to some special outing or event, I’m almost always alone! I used to go to my company’s parties but all of my co-workers spend time together in their own little circles and I always feel like I have to bounce around to different circles. I don’t really have any firm friendships at work, so it would get lonely and boring at the parties and I’ve since stopped going – guess I need more friends first, heh heh!

    One of the times I felt the most alone was New Year’s Eve 2012 – I decided to see the fireworks go off downtown in my city and I couldn’t get anyone – friends or family – to come with me. It felt lonely to go to such a great event without anybody near you to at least hug during the New Year.

  43. October 6, 2013

    A moment when being single really sucked is when I have a really good day and I pick up the phone and realize that I cannot text you any more because we are broken up.

    Another time is when my friends are with their boyfriends and here I am alone with my handbag in on hand and my iPhone in the other wishing I had my man by my side too…

    The moment when u are lying in bed and a good love song comes on the radio and I wish that person was lying next to me to hold me tight as I feel the breath of them breathing on my your neck.

    These are the moments that really stuck!!!

    Follow my blog

  44. Julia
    October 6, 2013

    Being Single really sucked at one of my friends wedding. I think it was mostly when I knew my Ex was going to be there with his new girlfriend whom I used to be very good friends with. Beyond that…the times it sucked to be single are few and far between. Just random bouts of “I just wanna cuddle” or “this would be so much more interesting or fun with a partner”.

  45. Juliet
    October 6, 2013

    I agree with you Mandy. It’s really during the quite moments that you feel most hurt…especially when you’re looking back at a lost love and you start wondering again whatever went wrong…it’s also during those quite moments when you begin to long for that “someone” to make life a little better when you’re feeling down…but then you have to snap out of it, right? Me, i allow myself to wallow in my loneliness once in a while and I let myself cry because it’s only through crying that I’m able to release my feelings and somehow it makes me feel better afterwards.

  46. Juliet
    October 6, 2013

    and most often when I miss how it feels to have my hand held by someone special what I do is I clasp both my hands together holding it close to my heart and whisper to myself that we’re gonna be fine…

  47. October 7, 2013

    When I meet 20, 21, 22 and 23 year olds who are in a relationship, engaged or married already. I am left thinking well, I am now 25 soon to be 26; did I miss my queue?

  48. Kelly
    October 7, 2013

    I’m with a lot of the other women in saying it’s the quiet times when being single really, truly hurts. I miss lazy Sundays with my ex. I cringe seeing all my friend’s pictures on Facebook when they’ve been at the beach with “their love”. Just not having someone there to hug, to kiss, to hold their hand, it hurts…

  49. Marie
    October 7, 2013

    Glad that I’m not that the only one that her heart breaks a little when a single woman, like me, sees a couple cuddling in hammocks or having a nice picnic in the park. Those cute little moments are the ones that break my hearts the most. It is hard to be single sometimes but it has its benefits. Right now, I am accomplishing the dream of doing my masters in Media and Communication in England. What if I was dating someone? I bet this dream was never going to happened! I believe that something really awesome will happen to all of us! I know this phrase is soo cliché but it is true, “God’s timing is perfect.” True love waits!

  50. October 7, 2013

    Day 2!! I liked this day. Because people think being single is SOOOO awesome all the time.

  51. Shiela JEan
    October 7, 2013

    Day 2
    Being single really suck sometimes because I feel lonely sometimes. I get jealous if I see great couples together. And I miss someone who text me a goodmorning beautiful or goodnight (sweet talks.) But I am get used to it now since I am having many friends and as I see some couples who having problems together, I feel like I am lucky not to deal all these problems for now.

  52. Tavalon
    October 9, 2013

    Easy speasy. April 11th, I fell and shattered my shoulder. It’s when you find out how good your support is. Mine wasn’t steller, though, it did bring me and wife number one together. We are tight as comadres. Y padre, not so much. He didn’t even ask about what happened. Not interested.

  53. Danica
    October 10, 2013

    This week I’ve been having a hard time being single. While God is making it clear that my career and advancing my education is the priority right now, it definitely hurts when I have a moment to facebook stalk my exes and see that they have someone or are dating around. Especially when I felt like I was the one who was burned by them!

  54. Lyn
    October 11, 2013

    Yes. For me, it’s also the quiet moments that remind me of my aloneness. I think being single has been good for me. If I weren’t single, I don’t think I would have understood how important the small gestures are in relationships. Because I’m alone, I could appreciate other people and the pleasure of being with other people more. It’s like when you connect, the connection is deeper, more vibrant, more meaningful. Does this make sense?

    • adila britney
      February 11, 2014

      Yes, it makes sense. It’s like you can have deep relations with others than to commit fully to your partner.

  55. Ngoni
    October 19, 2013

    Well, it was a bittersweet moment for me.. My best friend from childhood was getting married and I drove up to the mountains to see her get married. I was sincerely happy for her, yet in the same moment, disillusioned because I was trying to figure out the own course of my life and why in this single of singleness I didn’t even have a date to take with me to the wedding. That was more than 10 years ago. Now, I am in a better place when it comes to my singleness. I embrace it and am less insecure about it.

  56. The Real Truth
    November 3, 2013

    Well being very much alone really Sucks for many of us that really hate it, and when you have that Special Person to share your life with which it can be a very wonderful thing.

  57. paula
    November 3, 2013

    For me,being single hurts when am alone and I realy need someone to talk to who can get me n jst hold my hand or late at night wen I need to talk

  58. November 9, 2013
  59. cissi
    December 1, 2013

    I’ve been single for about 3 1/2 yrs and the first couple really sucked, but over the last year and a half I’ve come to find myself, love myself and put me first in many aspects….I’m enjoying my life and my freedom..I always had my children and my man..when he left my children were grown…never expected to be single at 40, but after getting through all the hurt and heartache, I realized it was the best thing that could have ever happened. No children, no man and all the freedom in the world…I’m utterly happy with me, but I would love to share my happiness with my special someone. I feel most alone in the evenings..not having someone to talk about my day to..not having someone to say good night to…not having some to say I love you to.

  60. December 24, 2013

    Describe a moment when being single really sucked!

    It wasn’t too long ago, that I signed up for this single people retreat. I had high hopes of enjoying myself, meeting other singles and learning tips that will help me navigate a happily single life. Well at the last minute the retreat was changed from single’s retreat to a marriage retreat. I never got a call or an email informing me of this. So as I get in the bus, I notice a lot of couples sitting together. I rationalize that maybe its a coincidence and they just know one another. Soon terms of endearments are being swapped. I rationalize, maybe is just a few couples joining not the whole bus. Then we introduce ourselves once we reach our destination. I realized that I am the only single. I was actually embarrassed during that introduction when I rarely get embarrassed. I still enjoyed the trip, specially the parts where we were left on our own to sight see Heidelberg, Germany. There were still a few ‘sucky’ moments were I had to talk about my relationship (with myself) that were a bit discomforting. At least I got to see a great city, eat some good food and meet some really sweet couples that were working hard on their marriages.

  61. joy
    January 7, 2014

    wow, nice blog. i love my single life, and yeah there are really moments when i just want a touch from a special guy i deeply love.

  62. Charli
    January 8, 2014

    Being single sucks because I recently moved back the city I attended college and I have no social life. It’s winter time and one side of my bed has formed a Winter Wonderland. kml! When I see romantic scenes on tv or hear about someone getting engaged. Blah!

  63. Polly Owens
    January 28, 2014

    Admittedly, this post gave me the idea to get a hammock to share with my sweetie 🙂

  64. Nery
    April 20, 2014

    When all you friends are getting married and realize that your circle of single girls are getting smaller. Then you find yourself sitting with two couples for dinner and wondering, why am i here?

  65. Christina Yonts
    May 30, 2014

    I gave up trying to be happy being single. Going out and trying to have fun on my own just got old and it only made me more depressed. I’m 39 and the oldest of my siblings. I have four sisters married and have kids. I also have one sister that’s a single mom of two with a great job, and one sister who’s a mother of two that lives with her boyfriend. Then there’s my brother who’s single and in college doing something great with his life. What hurts the most is my parents don’t care whether I’m alone or not. I no longer pray to God for anything cause He’s being silent. One thing I can’t stand is people telling me is Jesus US my boyfriend now, and blah, blah, blah. Yea I know that, but it wouldn’t hurt to want someone in the flesh for companionship either. I’m getting to the point where I’m about ready to shut everyone out of my life. I’m sorry for all the ranting, but I’ve held this inside for so long that I needed to get it off my chest.

  66. Chrissy
    July 23, 2014

    Being single at my daughter’s best friends wedding with my ex husband and is new wife who was formally his mistress up until our divorce. Then watching them dance as a couple while I watched from across the room. Meanwhile no eligible middle aged hunky men to dance with were available.

  67. September 30, 2014

    I only think about being single during weddings, couples events, Valentine’s Day, Horny Week(the week your hormones are jumping everywhere right after or before your menstrual cycle), and wedding and baby showers.

    My most painful one was when my mom forced me to go to a couples session at our church. She said I could learn something from them so I could bring it to my future husband. I never felt so out of place and alone in my life. I felt angry at my mom for making me go to this event. I was also sad because I had no one to discuss everyday marital quirk and issue with. I had no husband and no baby and they all did. I left in the middle of it and stuffed myself with Chipotle.

  68. The Real Truth
    October 7, 2014

    Being single for many of us certainly sucks, especially for us men that really hate being alone since we wish that we could meet a Good Woman to share our life with. And coming out of a divorce after being married for 15 years really hurts, and she was the one that Cheated on me. So to go out all over again at my age is very hard since many women are Not so nice to meet today.

  69. arleen
    October 9, 2014

    I would have to say my moment when being single sucks is when I have so many worries and fears that I feel for my son and no body there to hear me out or help me out. Being a single mom I always thought was so great. I never had his dad tell me how to d it, when to do it, or any of that but as time goes on and my son gets older (11yrs old now) I realize he will move on. Mom will not be cool to hang with but my fears for him will only grow and yet no one there for me.

  70. October 11, 2014

    My post is linked. I’ve decided to write a blog post to answer each question, and then read your posts afterwards so that I’ll truly feel they were my words and emotions I wrote down. I loved your answer to this one. I know that feeling all too well. There are ups and downs to being single…most people focus on the downs, but in reality they’re minimal. They must be, if they weren’t minimal, when they hit you it wouldn’t be such a blow and memorable moment!

  71. pa
    November 28, 2014

    when my ex and his wife had a baby and I knew I had to be celibate. it really sucked

  72. SF
    January 8, 2015

    Firstly, I’d just like to say how amazing this blog is. The comments section especially makes me feel better as I now know I’m not the only one going through this.
    The last time it well and truly sucked to be single was at my younger brother’s wedding in December. I was sat on the head table, on one side was my brother with his wife on the other side of me was my other younger brother with his fiancée. It was so difficult, everyone happy and taking photos and me there as a loner. I’m lucky that everyone is supportive and didn’t make me feel left out, but it was hard. Especially having been in a abusive marriage and getting divorced the year before.
    I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again, I have literally lost all hope and faith as I prayed to god so much not to put me in this position, but he did. To the outside world, I’m strong, but they don’t know I cry myself to sleep nearly every night.

    • Seriously
      January 16, 2015

      Hang in there, even for us men it really sucks being Single too.

  73. […] saw this title on Mandy Hale’s Blog and I decided to join in too. I checked google, and the term ‘being single sucks’ yielded […]

  74. Rex
    October 25, 2016

    I really wish that i could go back in time when finding Real Love was very Easy the way our Family Members had it which many of them are still together today as i speak. Well they were Certainly Blessed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only
Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only