The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge: Day 1
This is by far my least favorite question as a single woman. It seems to always be asked in an accusatory or suspicious tone, like either there’s something tragically wrong with me that has made me still single or that I should somehow be ashamed of the fact that I am, in fact, still single. I’ve never really understood the question, honestly. I mean, how would our married and taken friends who we know for a fact have lousy marriages and relationships respond if we turned the tables on them and said: “And why are YOU still married?!?”
On most days, when I’m feeling sassy, I’ll respond to this question with a cheeky: “Because I’m too fabulous to settle!” But I asked you guys to be REAL with this blog challenge, so I want to lift the shiny veneer of my snappy little one-liner and tell you that I don’t know why I am still single. I mean, I know why I NEEDED to be single until this stage in my life, in order to become “The Single Woman” and inspire single women like me across the world, so I’m totally on board with God’s plan to still be single. But logically, why am I still single? Well, let’s see….
I’ve talked about marriage with three guys. One with whom I honestly got commitment-phobic and picked silly arguments with until we broke up and he wouldn’t take me back (and girls, this guy was GREAT on paper and in reality. He was honestly a dream guy. And I can honestly admit that I blew it). The second guy was the horrible ex who inspired the creation of “The Single Woman.” He felt like it was a good idea, about a month after I broke up with him, to send me a drunken proposal via text message at three in the morning. Every girl’s dream, right?!? And the third was Mr. E, i.e. my “Mr. Big-like” one-again, off-again ex who thought it would be grand to shut down a diamond store in NYC and show me engagement rings. Which sounds great and romantic and like something ripped straight from the movie Sweet Home Alabama, but unlike Patrick Dempsey’s character in the film, Mr. E. neglected to actually, well…propose. Which is sort of problematic when it comes to getting engaged. (The full and unbelievable story will be in my second book, I’ve Never Been to Vegas But My Luggage Has, out in March 2014.)
So. Three guys. Three different discussions about marriage. No marriages. What gives?
Late at night, when I’m happily snuggled down in my covers watching reruns of Spin City and The Golden Girls (am I 80?), and being really honest with myself, the truth comes to me: I’m still single because I want to be. Granted, none of the three guys were “The One” for me…but I have had opportunities. And I didn’t miss the opportunities. The opportunities missed ME. Either because I was running scared or running away from a toxic person or running away from something that looked a whole lot like gold but turned out to be glitter. Sometimes I ran because I needed to. And sometimes I ran because I WANTED to. But what I think it comes down to is this: I haven’t yet met anyone who makes me want to stop running. I like to think that when I DO meet “The One,” I’ll suddenly be hit with the overwhelming urge to Just. Stand. Still.
So here’s to finding the one that makes me want to stand still.
You’re invited to join in my 30-Day Blogging Challenge! All the details HERE!