We Are All…The Single Woman
The following is an excerpt from my book The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass:
Instead of “single & fabulous,” the life of a single woman in her late 20’s and beyond is all too often labeled “single & desperate.” Instead of viewed as a choice, “single” seems to denote a lack of options. Everyone seems to want to meddle in the life of the woman who refuses to settle; setting her up on endless dates with guys she has no interest in, calling her “desperate” or “lonely” or “too picky,” or asking: “What’s wrong with her?” I would like to propose that the question we should be asking is: “What’s right with her?” The way I see it, the solitude and bravery and uncertain path of the modern-day single woman is something to be applauded as bold and courageous and unique and not lauded as sad or pathetic or weak. As single women, and especially for those of us in our late 20’s and beyond, we have racked up countless hours celebrating the choices of our married counterparts – helping them shop for wedding dresses, stepping into an endless stream of really bad bridesmaid’s dresses, and elbowing other women out of the way more times than we care to admit to try and catch that elusive bouquet; praying that maybe, just maybe, if we can reach out far enough, we might not just catch the bouquet, but also our own dreams of wearing that white dress to forever. Is it too much to ask, then, to expect society to celebrate US and our choices? To throw a festival of fabulousness in OUR honor, to cheer us single woman on for being courageous enough to search for ourselves instead of endlessly searching for a mate?
Love is a beautiful and wonderful and even sacred thing…but until it arrives, shouldn’t we give ourselves permission to THRIVE? The thing that the movies and greeting cards and your great-aunt Ida who shoots sympathetic looks your way and slips copies of “The Old Maid’s Survival Guide” to you at family gatherings fail to portray is an accurate picture of the life of The Single Woman. I don’t know about you, but I LIKE being able to spend money on myself without asking anyone’s permission. I LIKE to take myself out on a weekly date to the bookstore or the movies and spend time in my own company. I LIKE staying in my pajamas all day long and watching “Friends” reruns while eating a box of Oreos and not feeling guilty about it. I LIKE not having to shave my legs if I don’t want to and taking weekend trips on a whim and blasting girl power tunes while singing into the broom handle while I’m cleaning my house. I LIKE the freedom that comes with belonging to ME and only me, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others til death do us part. And while I’d love to eventually have someone join me on my journey, I refuse to stay grounded if they don’t. So I want to encourage you, my beautiful single ladies, to flip the script on your inner Single Woman and start to see yourselves for the truly brave, empowered, sassy women that you are. In the Single Woman Dictionary, RIP OUT the pages “Needy” & “Desperate,” because single women, WE ARE NEITHER.
You know what we are?
We are tough. We are bold. We are fierce. We are a force to be reckoned with. We face the world the single way every single day…and we don’t back down. We don’t let the idea of going to dinner alone intimidate us. We don’t let the threat of bumping into an ex stop us from going to the most fabulous party in town with our head held high. We walk a path that many women will never have to walk…a path that forces us to constantly step out of our comfort zones…a path that a majority of the women we grew up with and acted as bridesmaids for will never have to walk. The journey of a single woman is not an easy one, but we welcome the unknown. We embrace our freedom as the gift that it is…we pay our own way…we march to the beat of our own drum and we ask permission from no one to do so. There is a fire in the soul of a single woman that can never quite be tamed…an unwillingness to settle…an independence all our own, built from the knowledge that we can do absolutely anything without calling for backup and we can look fabulous doing it. There is a wisdom we possess that comes from surviving many a broken heart…a shine to us from learning how to make an entrance into a room accompanied by no one but me, myself and I…a confidence that comes from knowing we are not afraid to fall…because each time we fall, God presents us with another opportunity to get up and move up. We are strong. We are invincible. We are all…The Single Woman.
FOR ONE DAY ONLY! To celebrate the three-year anniversary of my book The Single Woman, I’m having a Virtual Book Signing! This Saturday, August 13th…no matter WHERE you live in the world…you can order a personally-signed copy of The Single Woman or any of my three books by calling Barnes & Noble at 615-377-9979 between the hours of 9am CST-10pm CST! They will ship anywhere in the world, so if my books have previously been unavailable to you, here’s your chance to order! I’ll be including a personal message from me in every book PLUS I’m throwing in a FREE “The Single Woman” t-shirt with every order while supplies last. So mark your calendars and spread the word!