Dash of Sass: It’s Hard to Be a Pigeon in a Seagull World

BirdsQuotes of the Day:

I’ll tell you, there is nothing better in life than being a late bloomer. I believe that success can happen at any time and at any age. ~Salma Hayek

Girls are like apples…the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. ~Unknown

To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don’t worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They’ll never get to be swans. ~ Zoë Marriott

The Single Woman Says:

It’s hard to be a pigeon in a seagull world.

I was at the beach with my parents recently and I got to observe some very interesting behavior in the bird world. My dad loves sitting on the beach throwing crumbs to the seagulls (you can imagine how thrilled the beach patrons who find themselves beside us are with this habit), and as we watched the sea of seagulls eagerly peck up the bread crumbs, suddenly two pigeons appeared. Pigeons, as you probably know, just sort of get a bad rap overall in the animal kingdom. They are often viewed as dumb, unattractive, annoying creatures, not really serving a purpose or adding any color and beauty to the world. And it was clear to see that in the pecking order of life, the two pigeons ranked far below the seagulls. Every time we would try and throw a crumb to the pigeons, they would miss it…be too slow to get it…get sharply chirped (scolded) at by the flock of overzealous seagulls. Not a single crumb we tossed made it into the beak of one of the pigeons. They were essentially failing at life and it was heartbreaking to watch.


Long after the seagulls gave up and departed our section of the beach for sandier (and crumbier) pastures…the pigeons remained. They hung in there for the good fight. Stubbornly refused to give up on the hope that eventually a crumb would find its way to their beaks. And when I discovered a virtual goldmine of crumbs in a wadded up Starbucks wrapper in my beach bag…guess who was still there to get it? Yep. The pigeons. Those stubborn, hopeful, faith-filled, late-blooming pigeons. The picture you see at the top of this blog is one I snapped of the pigeons feasting on their unexpected Starbucks spread as one lone seagull stands by looking confused. The pigeons ended up getting far more crumbs that day than any of the seagulls…and why? Because of their determination to not let their pigeon status hold them back from stepping into the blessings meant for them.

Okay, so that might be a TAD dramatic since we’re discussing pigeons here…BUT…how many of us have had our share of “pigeon moments”? I know I have!  I’d venture to say that NO ONE can say they’ve never felt like a pigeon at some point in their life. Ignored. A day late and a dollar short. Too plain. Too colorless. Not as attractive as the next person. Passed over. Left out in the cold. Isn’t this how society sort of trains us to feel about ourselves, single ladies? Like something is wrong with us and inferior about us that keeps us from stepping into the love that seems to come so easily for others?

I would like to encourage you today, my beautiful fellow pigeons…to hang in there. Stand firm. Set your face like flint and decide right now that you are no longer going to be bullied by the seagulls of life. You are no longer going to agree with what the world has to say about you. You are going to get on board with what YOU know about you…the beautiful, strong, faithful woman God created you to be. Your feast is coming. You won’t have to fight for it. You won’t have to beg for it. You just have to show up, stand confident in who you are, and CLAIM it! The blessing might not come as fast as you would have wanted or in the way you might have pictured…but it’s coming! And it’s even bigger and better than you ever imagined!

And if you find that you still need a little help along the way…that’s exactly why I wrote my new book. So us pigeons could reclaim our seagull status. And even celebrate our unique pigeon-ness as we go along. Because the thing is…when you get really close to a pigeon, you start to see that what the world thinks about them and says about them has very little to do with who they really are. They have beautiful brilliantly-colored feathers woven in with their understated gray ones. Delicate features. And spirits that refuse to be defeated. I don’t know about you…but that makes me rather proud to be a pigeon.

Grab your copy of my book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass anywhere books are sold.

Have you ever had a “pigeon moment”? Comment below!

52 Responses to “ Dash of Sass: It’s Hard to Be a Pigeon in a Seagull World ”

  1. August 27, 2013

    Just what I needed to hear today – thanks!

    • Giselle
      January 28, 2014

      Awww… thank you for this well written article, you are so observant and creative to think it that way. Thank you! Thank you! Just last night I thought my hope is dwindling, that’s for this encouragement. xoxo

  2. Catherine
    August 27, 2013

    Thanks for the kind hearted wisdom that God gave you. I always look forward to reading your quotes and comments at the end of the day; they are always so worth the ” share” to others. Your book was awesome and inspirational, I have already purchased more and have given them as gifts. Thanks again for being you.

  3. Tammy
    August 27, 2013

    Mandyyyy this is SO GOOD!! Oh my goodness. I HAVE to share this with everyone I know. Thanks!

  4. Ana
    August 27, 2013

    This is just so right! Thank you very much Mandy! Your words are always there for us!

  5. Pale M @pale26
    August 27, 2013

    Yes indeed suceess can happen at any time and at any age, it’s never too late for anything. I will find my prince and he will be tailor made for me. Woman don’t give up, you shall conquer just like the pigeons!

    • Shiro
      January 28, 2014

      Thanks…Yes indeed.I too am waiting for the prince that is tailor made for me.

  6. Pale M @pale26
    August 27, 2013

    Yes indeed suceess can happen at any time and at any age, it’s never too late for anything. I will find my prince and he will be tailor made for me. Woman don’t give up, you shall conquer just like the pigeons!

  7. Gina
    August 27, 2013

    Great post! This article describes exactly how I feel -ignored, left out and treated differently because I’m single. I have to remember to stand strong and know that I matter in this world and that God has a plan for my life. I bought your new book and LOVE it!!!

  8. fevie
    August 28, 2013

    Yeah, after i and my bf broke up…i felt that it has purpose…it doesnt matter to me anymore. Being single for a while is fun..God has a beautiful plan for me, iknow. I claim for it. Ilove the story coz i can really relate to that..thankyou i really need this..more power and godbless

  9. fevie
    August 28, 2013

    Yeah, after i and my bf broke up…i felt that it has purpose…it doesnt matter to me anymore. Being single for a while is fun..God has a beautiful plan for me, iknow. I claim for it. Ilove the story coz i can really relate to that..thankyou..more power and godbless

  10. Shannon
    August 28, 2013

    Thank you for this post Mandy! Just the inspiration I’ve been needing lately!

  11. bernice
    August 28, 2013

    This is so so inspiring and helpful. I’ve always been the late bloomer in most aspects of my life. But reading this has given me hope and strength to face another day. Thanks a lot Mandy, God bless you!

  12. Janette Alvarez
    August 28, 2013

    Mandy… besides your two books being amazing…Finished your new one recently… YOur quotes are awesome…
    God is great…!

  13. Stephanie Drummond
    August 29, 2013

    So needed this thanks

  14. Stephanie Drummond
    August 29, 2013

    Thanks needed this

  15. August 29, 2013

    Thanks for this story! Much needed.

  16. Jess
    August 29, 2013

    I am soon to be 27, never had a boyfriend, and never went out with a guy past one to two dates. I so often feel out of place with my friends who are married and have boyfriends. I am a bigger girl and often feellike my weight has a lot to do with it. I wish the guys out there look past the body image when deciding whether or not to date me…My body will never tell them that I workout 3 to 5 days oe that I am really cool to hang out with. I love myself, I just sometimes question will I ever find or have a boyfriend or husband…Any suggestions?

    • Vuyi
      August 30, 2013

      Recently i had a pigeon moment when someone decided to ignore me and disappear from my life.and in as much as i felt bad about it. i prayed about it and felt so much better knowing if people ignore me then they are not meant to know me and those who are meant to know me will stay. if they leave me out in the cold i know God will provide me someone who will let me in. and until that happens i will cheerfully live my life everyday on the happy path because i know i am beautiful in my own unique way. we gotta love ourselves and be confident everyday.

    • Saakshi
      December 17, 2013

      A man is never necessary ladies…You’ve got it going on and strong women don’t need men constantly by their sides!

  17. Joy
    August 30, 2013

    So God can be dis mindful of me? I am in d pigeon season of my life. As a matter of fact I just told God was I created for d least crumbs, I felt dumb, laid back, un pretty, un smart. Then I just stumbled into ur tweet opened d link. & God simply answered my questions thru dis write up. Am elated, it feels good to knw am not alone in my challenges & God can actually be dis mindful of me. God bless u for this! Hugs

  18. Julie
    August 30, 2013

    Ladies, I am 50. I was widowed at age 29 when my son was just 2 mos. old. I have had 2 relationships since but refused to remarry because neither one truly accepted my son. So I spent the last 21 years focused on me and my son and it has paid off. My son is a terrific young man. He is very grateful that I never subjected him to a stepfather or a blended family. It has been just the two of us and we have traveled and had many great times together. I am so glad I refused to settle and raised him by myself. I have been treated differently because I am a widow but fortunately I am my own best friend so I never cared what those school coffee cup moms & teachers thought about me. I have endured hardship and struggle but its made me who I am today – a strong, wise, confident single woman. Happiness is being single – who says you have to have a partner in life?

    • Amia
      September 2, 2013

      Well Julie , You are an Amazing, and strong woman and the Lord sure has guided you through!!!
      You Rock Honey!!!!!!! My best friend was widowed at 38, its been 3 years, a month ago. My heart aches for her but thankfully she knows the Lord but it kills me to know that she thinks bec of this and other things to follow that she thinks God is mad at her or she had done something wrong. Thats a whole different story ….. Maybe…Back to you JULIE!!!!!!!!! STRONG, CONFIDENT AND WISE MISSY!!!!! I THINK GOD HAS SOME THINGS IN STORE FOR YOU !!!!!!NOW THAT YOU HAVE RAISED THIS PROUD YOUNG MAN. I ONLY wish that I could see them. Make sure you keep your eyes open and that heart open…its been a while but I have this feeling … GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FUTURE THAT THE LORD HAS AWAITING YOU!! a sister in christ

  19. Bukelwa
    August 30, 2013

    I so needed to hear this i can’t wait to read your book

  20. Lily
    September 14, 2013

    This is so true. Sometimes you do not have the patience in achieving your goal or realizing your dream. But you just have to keep faith and the best WILL come your way. So true and very nice what you wrote. It is just what I needed now. I have ordered your book and really looking forward to receiving it!!

  21. Katie
    September 15, 2013

    This is exactly how I have been feeling the last couple of weeks. Its hard to stat strong and positive when it seems that everyone around you has found their “happily ever after” Thank you for your encouragement…I love hearing it!

  22. Daba
    September 16, 2013

    I needed tonight ! Thanks I can go to sleep

  23. winnie
    September 16, 2013

    Thanks a lot for the pigeon story.This is all I needed to hear tonight.I really couldn’t sleep but now I can sleep with my mind at ease.Thank you God bless you.

  24. Kelly
    October 7, 2013

    This is SO true and I LOVE it!!!! And yes….I have definitely had my share of pigeon moments. Thank you Mandy!

  25. Lina
    November 21, 2013

    You are a blessing. Thanks for the continued encouragement to single ladies like us. Have had my pigeon moment when I went into a relationship with someone that ignored me because I would not do things contrary to my beliefs to proof my love for him. Then,I realised the relationship wasn’t meant to be because we were too parallel in our beliefs and never agreed to anything. The utmost disrespect was when he decided to cheat on me when we had a little misunderstanding. He did it twice just to get back at me and I let him go immediately.

  26. Hlengiwe
    November 21, 2013

    I have had my pigeon moments. But I knew God has plan for my life. It will unfold oneday. This is a very encouraging read indeed. Thank you Mandy.

  27. Donna
    December 25, 2013

    The Apple quote .. Love it.!! It’s the reason for my apple tattoo behind my ear. 🙂

  28. ABBY
    January 3, 2014

    I cried when I read this. I used to think so little about myself. I grew up being told that i am not pretty enough, not smart enough and I will never have brighter future. I am a different person now but do to this I keep ending with men that doesn’t value me coz I thought that is what i deserve. Good thing I turn to God , it changed me. I exactly know how worthy I am..

  29. Xio
    January 7, 2014

    ” my beautiful fellow pigeons” this is where i smiled. thank you for these words. That was all I needed today.
    Be blessed.

  30. Starr
    January 22, 2014

    I’ve been feeling a lot of peer pressure to get in a relationship, from my friends. The pressure became extremely hard since the both of them now found men in their lives and it seems like I’m holding back our trio… This really helped me remember why I’m waiting. I’ve always believed that God has a plan and I shouldn’t get involved because He’s doing it.

  31. Irina
    January 22, 2014

    I so needed to hear this ! Thanks

  32. Bella
    January 23, 2014

    God bless you Mandy! You always inspire me.

  33. Jo
    January 24, 2014

    I’m new to this website and I believe it’s heaven sent that I came upon this now. I’ve been ooh-ing and aaahhh-ing over everything I’ve read so far. And this blog about pigeons almost made my eyes tear up. So inspiring! Thank you!

  34. Mary
    January 27, 2014

    It is so hard to be patient sometimes really and specially in a world that is constantly bombarding you with the idea that you shouldn’t be so picky or that you just have to conform with whatever bad and rude guy is out there. that is so sad. I always say that keeping your dignity and standards high has a price but it is worth to pay it. Girls should not just conform with whatever guy makes them feel bad, ugly or unworthy. Thanks Mandy for sharing all your wisdom and experiences with us. I just read your book in such a hard time for me. You can imagine, after breaking up with the guy I thought was going to be my husband. It really helped me to open my mind a little bit more and to feel supported that I am not the only girl who has different ideas about love, singleness and marriage. Thank you for all your hard work !

  35. Angela
    January 27, 2014

    Too funny! This hit me! This is what I feel like!

  36. phumzile
    January 28, 2014

    I will wait on the Lord and He will order my steps .Thanks for sharing such an inspiring illustration . God bless you,your family and everything that concerns you.

  37. Nikki
    January 28, 2014

    On my long way home tonight I sobbed because I just felt so alone … My friends all have significant others and a friend reminded me of this a few days ago … As if I needed the memo … I put love on the backburner all through college to pursue a masters degree and now I decided to start building my career. I am very independent and have always said I’m strong enough to stand on my own … After being in a seagul world for the longest time I’m starting to doubt if it was worth it or if I even believe I’m strong enough … But this made my night so much better … Thank you so much!

  38. January 28, 2014

    Great article! I loved everything about it until the end … Please tell me you’ve heard the “Pigeon” song that was the male version of “Scrubs?” Maybe it could have been worded differently towards the end of your blog lol!!! But over all – great analogy and I will repost this on my wall 8) Thanks for being an amazing writer!

  39. January 28, 2014

    Thank you for this because ive been feeling this way for a while reading this brought tears to my eyes

  40. Shelly
    January 28, 2014

    I have felt a “pigeon” most of my life. I need this book because there are days that I feel so unloved and wonder why no one approaches me.

  41. cessa de guzman
    January 28, 2014

    just what i needed! this put me to tears.. thank you for giving me hope and please continue to inspire all the pretty women out there to go on with their lives and keep moving forward. 🙂

  42. Ansarul Karim
    January 28, 2014

    Love it

  43. January 28, 2014

    So refreshing. A single lady should not devalue herself or no one will raise her price for her. I have read some unsavoury statements that it’s not wrong for a woman to propose to a man when she feels she is getting too old. Thank you for reminding us of the virtues of waiting. I can now say more confidently my popular phrase: I would sit quietly by myself, focusing on my God and a God fearing man would propose to me and I would marry with my dignity intact.

  44. vonne
    January 28, 2014

    I really can relate, and I have had enought of pigeon moment
    am tired, but still I thank God for helping get through those moments and still praying that he works
    things out.

  45. Tiwa
    January 30, 2014

    What an awesome piece.i have always taken many things for granted until my last breakup in november.Truth is being single is a blessing because it offers us d benefit to tap into our amazing potentials as ladies or women.i am in my pigeon state now nd it has drawn me rily close to God in whom we can find solace.i try to live each day in confidence knowing that the best has been saved for the last

  46. Cluv
    February 13, 2014

    I am in tears right now because I relate soooo much to this pigeon theory. I am in my pigeon moments right now on so many levels. A seagull reminds me all the time how I have failed, but I know I am making changes in me even if it is not seen at the moment. There is definitely comfort in reading this and hope in my heart for my time to shine. Thank yo sooo much for this.

  47. Mattie
    March 28, 2014

    love the analogies that you use .it just makes things so real and relatable .thank you Mandy girl

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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
.brave_popup__step__mobile img {float:right;width:90px;margin-left:1em;}
*US shipping only