Today I Cut My Hair & Changed My Life
A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life. ~Coco Chanel
I cut my hair today. And it felt good.
Actually, it felt better than good. It felt like freedom.
You see, for a really long time, I’ve let my hair and my thoughts about my hair and my feelings about my hair and my insecurities about my hair sort of control me. Over the course of my 34 years, I’ve permed it and straightened it and colored it and highlighted it and extended it and curled it and once, when I was about five, I even chopped one whole side of it up to my chin due to a dare from my older cousin (the other side hung almost to my waist. It looked lovely, let me tell you). It’s a fair assessment to say that because of all the years of torturing it until it begged for mercy, my longer hair of yesterday wasn’t in the greatest shape. It was long, but it wasn’t thick. Or at least as thick as I wanted it to be. So what did I do? I became obsessed with hair extensions. I felt as baldheaded as Daddy Warbucks without them (I wasn’t. It was totally all in my head). It got to the point where I was wearing them every day. I felt naked if I didn’t have them clipped in. They became my security blanket. And to some degree…the way I viewed myself became all wrapped up in those inches of extensions.
And the more real and authentic and transparent my life became as I traveled this road of being “The Single Woman”…the more those extensions started to feel like my crown of thorns.
This is not a blog bashing people with extensions or other hair pieces. I’m a fan, believe me. I love makeup and spray tans and gel manicures and false eyelashes. I’m all for enhancing what God gave you. But for me, the extensions weren’t complimenting me any more…they were inhibiting me. I felt unattractive without them. And that’s an unhealthy place to be. Not to mention, it started to feel really hypocritical for me to encourage other ladies to not be defined by their outer appearance yet I was being defined by mine. Especially with my new book coming out.
Yes, the release of The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass has been a game-changer for me. Putting this book out there has been me sharing my biggest fears and heartbreaks and disappointments with the world. It feels a little like standing naked in the middle of Times Square. It’s me being completely transparent about my flaws and my mistakes and my stumbles in order to encourage others through theirs. And it leaves no room for pretense, for fakeness, for anything less than 100% courage and boldness and honesty.
So today…I cut my hair. And I threw away the extensions.
And when the hair fell from my head and to the floor…so did my fear.
My self-doubt quickly joined in. Followed by the toxic ex whose approval I worked overtime for. The pain from the dream job I lost eight years ago wasn’t far behind.
Then went my insecurity (well, not ALL of it. I am a woman. But MOST of it). My need to please. My hurt over never feeling like I was enough to make my on-again, off-again love be more ON again than OFF again.
And finally…my desire to be anything different than exactly who I am hit the ground. And I was free.
I was inspired to write my book to help all of you get your groove back, reclaim your spark, change your lives, walk in freedom of the opinions of others, find your MUCHNESS again…
…and today, I found mine, too.
You can read more about my many lessons, flaws, victories, missteps, & misadventures in my new book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass, in bookstores everywhere.
What do you think it is about cutting your hair that feels so FREE? And in what other ways have you reclaimed your spark? Comment below. Best comment wins a copy of my book!
I agree, cutting your hair is quite freeing. Sometimes decluttering some areas (deck, car, closet) helps free my mind a little. Its almost needed. If i don’t I feel like a mental hoarder almost. However, getting a haircut or changing my hair color is much more appealing… 🙂
P.S. LOVE your new cut!
Hi, I always cut my hair every 3-4 months. It seems that is the right time for me, when I am going through something like a personal issue or just want a change, I go and cut my hair. My hair is usually mid length and I cut it bob length, jaw line length.
I notice that most women have long hair; however I like short hair because it’s easy to take care of and I find it suits me better.
I think cutting hair has a lot to do with letting go, starting over and just being willing to accept change. For me, cutting my hair mean I’m going to make a change to do something different in my life.
Good for you, making a change in your life!
Funny how I thought I was the only one that cut their tresses after a break up. Cutting my hair means a fresh new begining, a new chapter in my life! In my heart of hearts I know am a free spirit (a butterfly)! In fact right at this very moment I want to call my hairdresser and have him give me a new do 🙂
I think cutting your hair redefines you. It’s like a fresh start and a fresh style! When you have a new do, everything looks differently. Different accessories become more or less important. Also people love to see people get cute hair cuts, it means your bold and fun! I recently got a nose ring. I’m kind o a goody goody. So when I got it I felt a newness and a bit of edge!! It was definitly not a popular move by everyone and that was good for me! I like it, that’s why I got it and at good for me that not everyone else does! 🙂
Cutting hair can be an outward sign of an inward change. You are freeing yourself from either fear, a bad relationship, doubts etc on inside and you are freeing yourself outwardly by cutting your hair as a symbol 🙂 a lot of times it is a helpful reminder of what you let go inwardly . I’ve done it 🙂
I think that cutting your hair can be totally scary. As much as that makes me sound like a 5-year-old, I’ve never been a fan of getting my hair cut. I’ve also never been great at letting things go. I think as silly as it seems, it is a perfect metaphor of holding onto something that isn’t that important to your life. I’ve always had loved long hair, and the one time I cut it short, I freaked out because I didn’t even know how to use a straightener yet…basically I looked like a lion. I think that letting your insecurities go is one of the hardest things- like cutting my long hair. But hair grows back, and it’s new and beautiful and strong and healthy. Our self-worth can grow over time as well.
That’s what I like to think 🙂
Way to get it girl! Sometimes change is what ppl need to see things clearer in life. I think this new look is awesome on you. I don’t know how long it was before but it’s very flattering. Doing something this dramatic can boost your confidence. When you see the same person in the mirror everyday and you are down about yourself, you will wont feel better. But when you make a change and everyone notices, it will definitely make you feel great about yourself. You will walk prouder and happier. You will smile more. You will carry yourself in a different way and ppl will notice. That’s when you know you are doing the right thing. :-). Yay!!!!!
You removed more excess baggage so you can continue on your journey that God has chosen for you. Go you!
Cutting your hair literally lightens you. I always feel like a new woman when I get my hair cut.
I’m reclaiming my spark by doing some home improvements. To me, there is nothing more liberating than pulling out my power tools.
I completely agree! For me cutting my hair was a major game changer! I was in a very toxic relationship.. and in a bad place personally. I knew something had to give. I just didn’t know what yet. I had blond hair down to the middle of my back. I chopped it off to a pixie cut, and added hot pink streaks. This change was actually the beginning. The beginning of the end for my relationship. And the beginning of me getting back in touch with myself. The relationship with this toxic man was over within 6 months. But my relationship with myself is back on track and will never get lost again! I kept the short hair for a time, but I’ve grown it all out again and I love every hard earned inch.
When a woman cuts her hair, and I don’t mean getting a good trim, I mean when she chops multiple INCHES off, it’s not only a physical release but a mental and emotional one. We tie so much of who we are to our outward appearance that when we make a drastic change, it gives us a new sense of self, a new outlook on life, a different perspective. The attention and usually the compliments that you receive feel GOOD! You feel important, noticeable, attractive, and sassy! I’ve donated my hair at least three times. Knowing that I am giving something so personal to someone who really needs it is truly heartwarming. I’ve reclaimed my spark through physical fitness and healthy eating. When I feel strong, I feel beautiful. For me, it’s not about the pounds on the scale, it’s about being happy in this one body and lifetime that I’ve been given.
Erin if I could thumbs this up a million times I would!! 🙂
I couldn’t agree more! Not only did I go with a shorter haircut but I took an extra step and changed from my dyed blonde to a warm n rich chocolate brunette. Not going to lie it was kinda scary looking in the mirror the morning after I made the change but head held high, shoulders back, a smile on my face I went to work and received great feedback!! After leaving my ex of 9 years in 2012, I have made so many changes in my life but my hair was still the same. So, with trust in a new hairdresser, I felt it was time to “put the icing on the cake” and change my hair as well. I read your ebook last summer and any time I feel like I’m starting to stumble or need an empowering pick me up, I read it again. I have recommended it to many friends with many thanks for the suggestion. Thank you so much for all you do it’s about time we found someone to help us celebrate being single!!!
For me, it wasn’t the cutting the hair that redefined me, it was the NOT cutting. I seem to be around people who insist that shoulder length, straight ironed, a-lined hair-cut is the example of a “go-gettum” business-woman. So that’s what I did….all. the. time. Then I woke up one morning and realized that I didn’t feel pretty looking like everyone else, I didn’t feel like the individual I am, I didn’t even feel confident because I didn’t look like me. So I started by ditching the flat iron and letting my naturally curly hair take over. This was hard at first because my hair was shorter, so my hair was “kinkier” as they say. As my hair started getting longer and longer, the curls became much more manageable and I began to feel like myself. Happier, freer, me. Now I get compliments on my hair all the time….because I don’t look like everyone else and I am proud to just be myself. THAT is freeing. I do feel, though, that even just going to the stylist for a trim is one of the most relaxing things a woman can do. 🙂
When we make or feel the need to make an inward shift, the quickest outward change we can make is with our hair. A dramatic haircut is a great kick start to the new fire we have inside…..be it brave, sexy, athletic, fresh….the possibilities are endless.
My mom died three years ago today. Since that time I’ve only cut my hair once. It’s long and shaggy and is constantly pulled back because that only takes about 30 seconds. Not taking care of my hair is just another visible example of how I’m not taking care of me. I’m afraid that if I take better care of myself I won’t be invisible anymore and I’d actually have to participate in life. It’s hard to participate without parents. My dad died less than a year after my mom. My son needs me though. Maybe it’s time mom got a makeover.
Thanks for your candor Melissa. You helped me understand some things about myself.
*Life goes on* this sentence hurts. I lost my dad 4 years ago. It was like time stopped. My grades went down, I had stopped taking care of me. Waking up, going to class was painful. One day, I waked up the pain was still there but I knew that I need a fresh start. Cuz I had my mom and sisters were sad, seeing me like that was painful for them. I went out, walked a bit and decide to get my hair cut. I went back home with less than 2 cm of hair. They were shocked but l felt relieved. It was like letting go something to embrace another one.
You have a son, for his sake……… Mum are * our world* when we are young. Take good care of him
Sorry for my writting. English isn’t the language that I master the most.
I am 42 years old and have never been married. I will admit that I have, until recently, viewed my singleness as negative….being alone, being the only person over the age of 20 to attempt to catch the bride’s bouquet, having my aunt attempt to set me up on a blind date, feeling like a third wheel or odd-man out whenever I go out with my married or dating friends (don’t have any single friends), constantly being reminded of my biological clock, and so on. Not being happy with how I’m living my life, I saw quotes and excerpts from Mandy’s book….I wrote a lot of them down and put on my mirror as a reminder of how being single is a positive thing. I’m taking baby steps…I’ll admit it’s hard as I am shy and lack self-confidence as well. A new haircut/hairdo helps for awhile, but I also need to find my own spark to reclaim myself….to be honest, I’m not even sure what my ˝spark˝ is.
also need to find my
I think woman with short hair have a inner confidence and her neck showing is a sexy thing too :-)o
I’m experiencing a feeling of freedom by letting my hair grow! My mother made me cut my hair in Junior High School because she insisted I looked much better with short hair. So for 30+ years I have kept my hair short to please my mother. One of my hairdressers talked me into getting extensions after my divorce. I was hesitant at first, but decided to give it a try. I loved having long hair…. I felt sexy! Now that my real hair has grown out, I don’t need the extensions. I’m loving my new look and what I love the most is that it’s my decision…not a man’s, not my mom’s and not even my hairdressers! I’m finally in control of my own life and not just with my hair. I’ve taken control of my career, opened my own business, choose who I want to be friends with and where I go on vacation, etc… and I’m loving my decisions. 🙂
Cutting your hair after going through a tough time is when you decided to start a new life, start all over again, move on, making things right, do things that brings out the best in you and live day by day with a positive attitude. It’s the time when you decided to regain yourself as a person and show your worth in every way.
Anybody who knows me will tell ya that once I find something I like, it’s hard for me to change. We get comfortable with a look, even if it’s not the best look for us. The same way we get comfortable with a partner ,when they may not be the best fit. I recently also decided to cut my hair. I was holding onto a lot of pain from a failed relationship. Making a simple change such as that is like a breath of fresh air. A new and improved you, for an all new beginning!! Going outside that comfort zone can be quite scary, but if you look outsize the box, you may find something even more fabulous then you ever imagined like a new hairstyle or even a new love :). Btw your hair looks great and thanks for your words of wisdom. Much needed inspiration during this difficult time for me. I can honestly say that I’m a different woman than I was a year ago today partly due to stumbling across your blog.
Cutting my hair can feel like a rejuvenation, a reinvention, and a reminder of who I am underneath. I am so glad that you, who have inspired so many like me to have a say in how we react to heartbreak, found that beautiful feeling of authenticity that comes when we stop hiding our emotions behind our features. It is a lifelong battle for women, and when we discover that we are greater than the sum of our parts, amazing things can happen!
Cutting your hair releases you from the old to the new. When I get my hair cut (more than 1/2 inch), I feel so free and like a renewed person. Last year, after losing my job, I cut my hair that week. I had hair pass my shoulder and got it cut in an A-line bob where the longest layer was the length of my nose. I felt so much better after that. 🙂
I had a similar experience a few years back. After a year of chasing a guy who was clearly Mr. Wrong, I cut my hair about six inches. I didn’t make the connection while I was doing it, but every day afterward, my reflection reminded me that I was quite literally not the same person I had been. It was like stepping out of an old skin.
For about 13 years, I attended a church that by most people’s standards would be considered legalistic in their views on Christian appearance especially in regards to a Christian woman’s appearance. One of the many standards of dress and modesty taught in this church and many others like it was that a woman’s long (emphasis on long) hair was her glory and her covering-her crown, if you will. This was scripturally based (the exact scripture eludes me at the moment) and if actually keeping said scripture in mind, it’s a very noble sentiment. However, a lot of the mentality was that a woman was right up there with Mary if her hair was just the right length. I admit, I eventually developed a certain righteous pride of my own because of my long glorious hair that was probably less than pleasing to God. So, it was very shocking for me to even cut off two or three inches. I could never go “all the way” and hack it off to shoulder length even. There would be lots of shame with that and feeling less like a woman, less like a Christian. I couldn’t bear that.
But over the years, God was chipping away at that holiness exterior and over the past few years He has made me realize that He loves me in spite of how long my hair is, or if I even have any. He also made me realize that my long hair won’t get me to heaven (that whole works thing). Little by little, I let go until one day I took the plunge and just went for it, to just below my chin. My hair hadn’t been that short since I was a sophomore in high school and it took some getting used to but it really was liberating. I don’t know that I’d ever felt more free.
That’s been some two or three years ago now and my hair has grown back longer again but the lesson learned is that my righteousness is not found in the length of my hair. Now, I just take pride in my glorious hair because it’s a gift of beauty that God gave me, probably my best feature. No longer is my holiness measured by the inches of my tresses. I could go on and on with this topic but one thing I know is that if I were to lose every strand tonight that it would be okay because my Father is my covering and I find my glory in Him. 🙂
Cutting your hair gave you a feeling of dropping dead weight… it was an opportunity for you to become new, and this was your symbolic way of self expression.
I too have become new. At 38 yrs old I was comforted with a 10 year banking career, a loving husband, a house that I called my home, and 3 wonderful kids. When the housing market crashed… so did my life. I lost my job, my husband, and my home. I was devastated. I felt worthless, became sheltered, and withdrawn. Here I was the snooty, self centered person… brought to my knees and taught humility. I began working part time at Subway (with a MBA). I decided after a year and a half that I deserved better. Change was imminent.
Walking on faith, I loaded my car and my kids… closed my eyes, and picked a random State. Relocation was the key. I needed to let all the dead weight go and take control of my life. My children and I lived homeless, in a run down hotel, standing in food lines twice a week…. when *BAM* — it happened! I landed my dream job!
I now have a comfortable place to call home. I make double the salary I had before, and my children and I are rebuilding our dream.
Its all about making the decisions necessary to change and taking control of your life. Whether is cutting your hair, or risking it all to find self worth — and start fresh!
Thanks for allowing me to share.
I love short hair :/)
Reading that reminded me of when I shaved my head ! Yes I am a women , to be more pacific I am a African American women. I shaved my head to go natural I had about 2 inches of hair all over , after the cut . See in the black community (if this isn’t already known) to go natural means to stop getting relaxers. Relaxers makes the hair straight , by breaking the bonds of the natural hair, this is also VERY damaging. (Not trying to turn this into a hair story, but i had to break that down just to be clear) but Mandy I was only 18 when I did that, I was younger but I felt so old. And full of baggage , trying to live up to society epectations. But at that time in my life I wanted to go natural, I wanted the freedom that came with it! Now we all know shaving your head as a women no matter what race can send all kinds of messages ,and is very unusual in women of today. It’s all about the hairs length and body , but I wanted a fresh start I wanted a new head , the old hair seemed to hold too much old baggage. I cut my hair myself with the help of my mom, and it’s been 2 years and 2 months since that very date! This new hair is ABSOLUTELY flawless and it’s all me! Something as small as hair always reminds me of how God can show you what letting Go can do! Amazing !! Love you!
You know, I’ve always used changing my hair as a way to let my personality shine through. Whether it was getting layers, cutting it in an a-line, or getting highlights, it has always been my way of reinventing myself. In life I’ve made plenty of poor decisions (some of which were haircuts), but I’ve come to realize that every choice I make leads me to the next stop on my journey. Good or bad. Often times I reflect back on things and wonder how I could’ve changed things, but that’s the thing about life and haircuts…you can’t take back decisions, you can only move forward and make different choices.
I am 45 years old, married 3 times, but single for more years than married. Mother of deployed soldier son and teen daughter who is smarter beyond her years, I am learning what is truly important. As a former, unsuccessful, swimsuit model and pageant contestant, I used to think my “hair” defined me. People always commented on my hair. Then 4 years ago, I experienced the dreaded hair loss and my scalp started to show more and more in the sunlight! Although it seems to be from stress and vitamin deficiency,, and I may never grow it back to the fullness it was. It made me realize we all have many physical flaws, maybe only we notice, yet everyone has, men included. Our hair may thin, our skin will wrinkle, our cellulite may be more noticeable. I am the first to fight all of these as much as I can till the end because I love being the best I can minus surgery and breaking the bank! I am always honest with my daughter so she is knowledgeable on what is natural and what is not. In the end, if we make it to 80, physical appearance will be from within!
A little over five years ago I became not only a single woman but also an empty nest-er! I’ve taken this time in my life to find out who I am, what I like and don’t like and live my life the way I want. For years, I was in that mindset that if I wasn’t married, then I wasn’t a “real” person. Bah, humbug! I am so much more than one part of a couple!! I am myself now and learning more about myself every day. My grown kids like me, I have my own friends (who have never known me as a married person) and I date whom I want and when I want.
When we let go of false assumptions, we leave room for real life.
Through my life I can surely define many milestones of by a very drastic change in my hair. Not only in length but also in color. I’ve had it blonde, red, black and even Hot Hot Pink. Yes it sounds a little bit crazy. But I sure loved it each and every time. If I could do it all over again, I would definitely do it the exact same way even the Hot Hot Pink . For many years I didn’t know why I did it, “it just happened”. Many people around me they thought it was for the attention, but something inside me always new that was not it. This became a part of me, it didn’t define me but it completed me and I loved it. Few years ago, in a Grey’s Anatomy episode when Lexie goes Blonde, Jackson tells her: “You can’t just change your hair, you have to actually change.” And then I understood, every time I changed my hair, I was welcoming change in my life. I was finally ready for my next chapter to begin. Not longer hesitant of what may come and ready to embrace whatever will follow. Some may think it was just hair, but for me was my way to embody the leap of faith I was taking. No longer willing to settle for my surroundings and ready to step into my fabulous self for my next adventure.
I am currently starting going over your blog today, I am undergoing a hurtfull break-up for 13years, we broke up last may2013, actually he broke up thru text message that 1 txt message that changes it all, how funny is it right, .. I am thinking of cutting my hair, or coloring it, just to lighten my fears and hurt. I wish That while reading ur blog I can self help myself on moving on and letting go.
Wow. Hair. All my life Ihave been told . Long hair is nicer. Men like long hair. My late husband liked long hair. The ex liked long hair. What about Me. I have always been afraid of not looking feminine …. Last wk I too cut it shoulder length and feel amazing…whybecause Jay loves it…
Truly there is a sense of freedom cutting your hair-from a waist-long hair to an apple cut hair.
It was last March of this year when I freed myself from the negative thoughts that burden me.
I paused and think. A lot of problems came rushing through.
Ex-boyfriend. Work. Financial. Family-my mom and her cancer.
I paused and breathe.
And when I paused I run to Him-His words never fail to comfort me.
And that prayer, a powerful prayer, heals my mom.
Gorgeous!! Awesome story! Thank you for sharing your journey and inspiring all of us. <3
Yay for you! You look gorgeous!! I sort of did the opposite a few years ago. After years of shorter hair that was cut to complement the job I held…I grew mine out and went to the blonde of my childhood. And wow did it make a difference in my outlook on life and, thus, my interactions with others.
You are a very smart, beautiful young woman. Get ready for all the wonderful things life has in store for you!!
This is empowering. If music moves you, I recommend you listen to India Arie’s song “I Am Not My Hair”- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ug-o0q11Rs.
Hair grows an average of 1/2 inch per month. So I think that when we need to shake off the past, get rid of that bad boyfriend, job, or any negative situation, cutting your hair is like cutting the ties to those old ways. Instead of holding on to what was, we clear the hair as a form of release and to make room for new and exciting experiences (and accessories). When I need to regain my sparkle, I tend to turn to travel. There is nothing more exciting than experiencing new places and faces on your own terms. Finding somewhere that has no tie to what was helps me create and believe in what will be.
We all know it was never really about the hair, the lashes etc. in the first place. We place value and worth on things, people and experiences. We give them meaning. The change in heart or miracle occurred not when you saw the hair fall to the floor but rather, the moment you decided you no longer needed or had use for the extensions. You changed the moment you changed your mind. Your haircut is simply a beautiful manifestation of your own growth much in the same way as holding a copy of Life, Love and a Dash of Sass in your hands. Blessings to you for being a big bright shiny light of encouragement.
I have really thick coarse hair and for me keeping it short is freedom! I actually lost all my hair about 10 year ago and it taught me I am not my hair! I didn’t care what other thought for the first time in my life..I wore wigs for work but as soon as I got in the car I ripped them off..It was pure freedom to just be me! Not the timid scared lady hiding behind the hair! I was loved for me by my family and once others got to know me they saw beyond my cute little bald head! When it did grow back..I had alopecia due to stress related issues..I have kept it short ever since..No more hiding for this Widowed/single lady!!
Wow! I was always told a new haircut meant a new man. Not anymore! I love the Coco Chanel quote!! Thanks Mandy! Way to Grow! 🙂
My ex-boyfriend loved my hair long, and he had always made it clear that it would be boyish of me to have short hair. I was blessed (and cursed) to have thick hair, but part of me definitely still loved it when it was long even if it was difficult to take care of. Most of me kept it long because my boyfriend wanted it long. However, after an extremely messy and painful breakup in which he ultimately decided to stay with his new girlfriend (even though he said he loved me), I made the decision to cut all of it off and donate it to be used for cancer patients through Locks of Love. The hairdresser said that they would get at least two or three wigs out of it, and she had to use utility scissors to cut through all of it. Donating my hair to Locks of Love had always been on my bucket list, but because of how thick my hair was, I could never grow it out long enough. If there was anything good that came out of that breakup, it was that I could finally donate my hair to people who could actually use it. It was the first step for really accepting the breakup as final, and I have not looked back since. Thank you so much for your blog and your books! They have really helped me to accept my single status, something that was impossible for me in the past. And your hair looks amazing!
YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD FOR ME! I literally just cut 4 inches of dead hair off on this past Saturday. I cut away over 30 years of my communities perception of what they thought beauty is. I’m so glad I flew past my fear and cut it. To answer your question: I felt like I was wearing my emotional weight in my hair. I was holding on to the judgments and perceptions of others in my hair. The sad part of it all is that I was willing to hold on to unhealthy hair just to be considered beautiful by the standards of those around me! The moment the first cut was made was the first lightening of the load I’ve ever felt! It was amazing. I text one of my friends and said “this feels GREAT!” Its like a noose has been loosened from my neck.
About a year ago I lost my job. It was the one thing that held my pride properly in place. After that loss I began the process of becoming humble….truly humble in word and deed. I feel like this haircut, as mundane as it is for others, was the last step in the process that will help me finish my new goal of starting an educational consulting business. The business is almost complete and I’m working on a doctoral degree. This haircut was just another step on fears head that proved that as long as God is pleased with me, inside and out, that I’m on the right track; That I’m enough!
Haven’t we all cut our hair after a break-up?
My hair style definitely affects me. When it’s really short, I stand up taller. When it’s in a bob with a center part, I feel sport and fresh. When it’s long, I feel fun and sexy.
You look terrific!
I love this! I recently have been considering doing the same thing. My ex always loved my long hair and part of me is still holding onto him, not only mentally but in a physical way. Your hair can almost become a mask, & without it you feel naked. But letting go of that allows others to see all the other beautiful parts of you! I say congrats to you for your bravery, out with the old & in with the new!
Cutting my hair, especially after my painful breakup, represented a desire and a yearning to be shed my pain, insecurities, hurt, and negativity from the breakup. My friend saw me with my new hairstyle, and he said to me, “Something is different, not just your hair, but you got rid of your burden.” He didn’t say it, but I knew he was referring to my exboyfriend. I got rid of my burden, and brought back my freedom, self-confidence, and fabulous persona. My hairstyle represented a new me, a better me.
My birthday just went by.It was on 12th of August :).Since the very morning of my birthday,as i was feeling to be very certain,of my self that something about to happen, in a bigger, and better ways than i was imagining.I caught cold and had fever but,even after that i was at my full mode of joy!I didn’t have beautiful feeling about my body but,i knew i could make my self to feel better.So next day when i opened up your site and surprised to see your blog that you wrote about your HAIR DAY on the very day of my birthday,i thought what could this mean to me?! 😀 (a strange feeling of happiness dissolved inside me.And it said,”go! have your day! make a better one! even if it starts with that of your hair!”That’s how i felt. 🙂 )
Its been four months that now my hair was so frizzy,had nooo proper shape,dull,and full of split ends.So today,I went for MY HAIR DAY.I got a lovely haircut.It feels soft.voluminous,lustrous,which is my hair is not used to.
Why am writing this, is the only reason that i got this push(MANDY your hairday blog) as a gift which, made my belief stronger that i act upon, my dewy intuition (which was full of mist when i forgot to believe in my self,its been some previous years).When the lady cut my hair,actually i felt,great.My inside voice was saying,let those dry,split ends cut off, from your shoulders, that are not contributing confidence,growth and beauty which are rightfully mine.I said to myself.
I don’t have to forcefully change something about myself,which am not.Am already provided with enough beautiful igredients to modify my self.And so do i believe,everybody else.
I guess i don’t have much in my plate to say more,but i would love to say, and to share,and especially to you that hair growth,hair fall,frizzy hair shall happen more or less,at their times,but it always better to have, this perception that when something bad or sad happens (not following according to our desired gaols which we thought to be the ways out)it always signifies change,and change means the chance to grow,as i feel right now myself,so does growth is vital for all the 7 billion people on this earth.So i guess thanking you will veiled the love that i have for you,for your work and the things that you’er doing.So love you a million for you, being you.May success and happiness be yours in whatever you do in life.Hugs.
This is an interesting subject. I used to have this long, straight virgin hair. It was never rebonded, hair treatments, iron, colored. Everybody was used to my kind of hairstyle until one day a boyfriend broke up with me and decided that we are better off as friends. I did cry a lot for he was the man I always dreamed of, someone smart, responsible, very logical, hardworking, cute. He was perfect for me. I spent the whole night crying my heart out as if itvwas the end of the world, then in the morning there was a sudden feeling that I need to wipe those tears and do something that will make me feel relieved. So I decided to go to the salon and let them cut my hair short. It was a biggest decision to make because I am afraid of what it may turn out. It was a big relief that my hair turned out to be something I did not expect, I felt more beautiful with my new hair, plus the brown hair color. As I was on my way to the office, I felt the confidence that I will cry no more. My ex juat saw me and he was like staring the whole time. But I felt sorry for him, no turning back. I have moved on. My love for him was gone together with the hairs that were cut. And I know I am free at last! 🙂
Cutting your hair is much like shedding a toxic layer. In our modern world it’s a means of detox. Just as you excrete heavy metals and toxins through the shafts of your hair as it grows, cutting our ubiquitous feminine locks largely frees us of the societal toxins that weigh us down. I cut toxicity from all realms of my life, as I cut my hair to cleanse myself of negativity, pressure, fear, conformity, and the need to please. I love myself and I love the freedom and empowerment that comes from cutting my hair… Namaste.
Women are the same everywhere, I decided to dye my hair for the first time and change the way I wear my makeup recently. My life is in a kind of rut and I just decided to do something different. Keeping my fingers crossed. Like your hair cut, it looks good.
The security blankets we women hold to …….need a big end of summer bonfire for just us girls to shed some of these blankets that we hold to. Love this blog post and all the comments <3
You look great! You are very refreshing. Hats off to you for having the courage and determination to be real and honest with yourself and LIVE the gospel. If God’s Word is the truth so we must embrace it! Even if we live in a world that tells us what we should look like.
I believe a hair cut is definitely an act of courage – in many ways I think we are saying that we are breaking up with the past and walking into a new phase. I decided to cut my curls about 2 years ago and really change even the color. Yep, went short and blond and straight. It was fun and sassy… but I am letting my curls back and not so short because its just so much easier just wash, little bit of mousse and let the curls loose… for years I hated my hair… now I love the curls … one has to face the fact that if you were born with curly hair its a good thing … since everything that God does is GOOD…
Thank GOD for you! I pray that God continues to use you to bless so many more of us … our journey is definitely worth it.. but its such a hard one some days!!!!
I really liked that quote u used from Coco Chanel in this post. What is it about cutting your hair that is so freeing? I think its the lightness of giving up every dead weight that holds you back-its like getting a new lease on life-a fresh start. For me, it was like a burst of confidence to my system when I’d get a new do. My hair is kinda yucky right now-it needs to be fixed real bad. But like you I’ve highlighted it, cut it, curled it, let it grow out, and I don’t know how many months ago it was but my pastor’s daughter who’s a hairdresser dyed my hair back to its dark color-i told her I didn’t want the highlights anymore. I’m used to it being dark now. Anyway, its like when it says in Scripture to “lay aside every weight,” and to “run the race,”-its almost like that. Like unhealthy or just old relationships you’ve outgrown as a person-sometimes you gotta get rid of what weighs you down, holds you back and let go of your past life in order to make room for what God wants to do in your life. I keep coming back to that verse in Isaiah, where it talks about “remembering not the former things,” that God is doing a “new thing.” So when u get rid of the old way of doing things, including the old hairdo its like you’re giving God the room that He needs to help you become the best you He wants u to be! I’m really excited for you and your new book, Mandy. What a great “new thing” God’s doing in your life and I’d luv to read your new book!
Cutting your hair is like releasing all of the stress, bad habits, ppl etc and just like your new hair will grow in it’s welcoming in new love, hope, joy, new life. Totally a metaphysical experience.
There’s something so awesome about chopping off your hair. I did this very thing, several years ago. You have the opportunity to become a new person, inside and out. Everything that is tied to your hair is released, once you get it cut…..stigmas, beliefs about yourself (as it applies to your hair), memories, burdens, feelings, cultural norms…everything that you once were with the hair is changed when the hair goes. It really represents a new beginning, a fresh start, and it is one of the coolest feelings in the world, if you are willing to embrace it. You’re in control. You determine what’s next for you. Yeah, you will have opinions whether you welcome them or not. And depending on who you are, it may be a significant test period for you. Perhaps it’s an opportunity for you to grow as a person. You’ll quickly discover for yourself if the new do was about you, or if it was about the reactions of others. But you will discover a lot about yourself, and that’s one of the cool things about a haircut.
Mandy I completely agree with you! To be honest last week I got out of a relationship because my “X” wasn’t over his “X”. I knew I would eventually get over it but for some reason I felt as if I was becoming bitter. Not better. I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and look through the self improvement section. A librarian approaches me and brings me “The Single Women”. She says everyone is going crazy over this read. I get home and as I begin the read I start crying a river! It’s as if you wrote your book for me. Recently I spent $500 on shoes & bought a dress from target for my semi formal sorority recruitment day coming up this Saturday! Reading The Single Women opened up my eyes and mind. I may only be 20, but I believe everyone women should read your book. Young. Single. Married. That being said. I cut my gorgeous locks of hair shoulder length. I felt free and vibrant. But it’s my sister who I admire for shaving all of her hair! People these days put too much meaning and importance in materials and hair. She wanted to prove she can still be feminine, confident, and her self. Now she’s in medical school up in TN! Thank you for everything Mandy <3
I love this post, as I love everything else you’ve written. Last year, after suffering several small and medium disappointments, and one exceptionally large, I went to the salon for a trim. Halfway between the cut, as I saw wisps of my hair on the floor, I told my stylist of 12 years to “cut it all off”. Though she did manage to convince me that I couldnt pull off a pixie cut, i settled for a bob. That was the day my life began to change. I can say the cut was lucky but it was me all along. That day I knew that if I could live without my long lustrous hair as my security blanket, I could do anything.
Its all grown back now plus couple more inches but that’s what I love about it, it will always grow back and watching it grow makes me feel like I too have grown. Here’s wishing the same to you.
All my love,
From one single woman to another :*
It wasn’t my hair that I cut (although a couple of inches could stand to be shed), but I cut unhealthy people out. I cut dependency on others out; others who never really cared, they just cared about what I could do for them. I cut selfishness out. I cut anger over minuscule things out. I cut the “lie around and whine but do nothing to improve my situation” out. And in cutting out those things, I’ve found me again. Is it tough to let go of people and ways of thinking that you’ve been accustomed to for years? Yes indeed. And it didn’t happen overnight. But by the grace of God, and supportive, praying family and friends, I’m a lot closer to peace than I ever was when I felt like the world was a pit and all of these so-called “buddies” were pulling me into it. Trust God. Pray without ceasing. Be unafraid to step further out onto the branch to grab the fruit. You’ll be thankful that you did.
With my profession I can’t make too many drastic changes to my appearance. I did lose 25 pounds in an 8-month time span, which helped me to let go of a lot of emotional baggage I was carrying around from previous unhealthy relationships. All the guilt, shame, frustration, insecurity and anger slowly left me as the pounds fell off. But I think the greatest thing I’ve let go of, has been my previous obsession with being the person I thought other people wanted me to be. Living my life to make other people happy and to achieve the goals THEY have set for me. Now that I’ve done that, I’m so much more confident, I’m happier and I’m currently dating the love of my life. 🙂 Thank you for your inspiring words Mandy!!
A former single woman who learned to love herself FIRST!
How many times have I done this?! Well, I actually did this earlier this year. I was having a really bad day and didn’t actually have money to get my hair cut. So I took matters into my own hands, literally. I’m sure you know what I am going to say. It was bad. Somehow I found the money to get it fixed. But, when I got home I realized that the guy who I had paid to cut my hair was no more talented that I. I ended up trimming it for months. A couple of weeks ago my mom came to visit and fixed it for me. She was horrified. Thankfully my hair is wavy and it wasn’t blatantly obvious – I hope!
I have started over so many times. About 5 years ago spent 3 months in Europe chasing a guy. I was crushed when I found out he stole his best friend’s girlfriend and married her. Now I am thankful not to be with someone who would do that.
Almost 2 years ago I moved 1,000 miles from home to start over yet again. I have 2 college degrees and am working on a third. I did what I was “supposed” to do and now, at almost 30, I am doing what I want to do.
It’s rough some days especially with things like Twitter and Facebook. All of my friends are married and have kids. They don’t know what to say to me and I don’t know what to say to them either. It’s almost like it isn’t acceptable that my dreams are different than theirs.
To all the single women out there I say – Just DON”T Settle! Don’t settle for the wrong man, the wrong situation, the wrong life! You only get one! Make your own choices. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do or not do. Have the confidence and the courage to take a risk and see what happens. Why not? What have you really got to loose?
I’m letting go of the remorse I feel about something I did way back in 1972. Everyone & God has forgiven me;I just can’t forgive mysself. I have got to forgive myself. I’m getting too old to keep carrying my remorse around.
For me I have to say i’ve always wanted or needed my hair to be a certain length. To not have long or medium hair was like a BIG no no when I was growing up. But I have to say that when the inevitable happened and my hair started to fall out in the weirdest place ever I truly feared cutting my hair off even still. I went to the beauty shop and told them to only cut enough to hide my bald spot in the back of my head. I would say I wore that for a whole two days and on the second day I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take being defined by my hair or trying to hide behind a meaningless flaw. So the next day I went right back to the same shop and told the lady to cut it all off as much as you have too. And as I watched my hair fall I started to feel relieved because I was no long trying to be like everyone else, I wasn’t dating so I had no one to keep it for. It truly felt like a new begining! A new start to being who I really am, accepeting me for myself, loving me no matter how much hair I had, no longer having to worrie about what others thought of me and mainly realising that God created me in his own image and that when he looks at me he’s not worried about how I look or how much hair I have. But instead he loves me for who I am and that because he created me I am fearfully and beautifully made :).
I completely agree.. It is not what is on the outside that defines you, but what’s on the inside that defines who we are!
A couple of years ago I walked into my regular Salon and told my regular hair stylist it was my birthday and I wanted something different. I believed the hype that women needed to have long hair to feel feminine. My mom always looked good in short hair, and one comment in my teens lead me to swear I would never cut my hair again! Tracy turned me around in the chair and wouldn’t let me see it until it was done. She just said, “Do you trust me?” I nodded and replied, of course. A couple hours later I was looking into the mirror and not only did I shed about 5 inches of hair and sported a cute pixie type of cut, she highlighted it and I looked fabulous, I cut hair and the fact that after going 20 years with nothing more than a trim and never having it above my shoulders at any given time.
Today I am rockin’ out to a fabulous Glam Rock color ( I have a style color called Sunset, I have Blonde in Places, and 2 Shades of red). I still have my Short, Short hair, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get compliments on my hair daily. It makes me feel even more fabulous than I already do!
Coco is right, ” A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life”. I did change my life, for the better and I have never looked back!
For me, I gained freedom from MYSELF. Subconsciously, I was using my long hair as a crutch. It was my safety blanket. I kept my hair long to HIDE behind my hair. To use it as a distraction for myself and FROM myself. I could be whoever I felt I needed to be…except ME. Once I cut it I realized people would have no choice but to look at ME. The real me. The SIMPLE me. But I also realized the reason I had clutched to my long hair. I had no idea who I was. It sounds like a bit much to get from HAIR. However, being fresh out of a rrrreallly long relationship, the thought of people seeing ME was terrifying because I didn’t even know who I was. However, it was definitely refreshing welcoming this new me. I was brand new and able to feel FEARLESS. I was letting go of something I had held on to for so long, out of fear, because I felt my hair defined me. Much like my old relationship, or old job, or “friends” we keep simply because we’re scared of the new and the unknown. I know, all these feelings about a haircut?!?! I know it sounds a bit ridiculous to say… but it was. It was my crutch. And it definitely did not feel like a crutch. It felt like a fabulous accessory…my FAVORITE accessory. Until I realized I wasn’t keeping my long hair because I liked it, which of course I did, but mainly because I felt like I NEEDED it. So, finding myself in a terrible heartbreak (which in actuality turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me— sounds typical of someone to say but it is true!) and freshly having let go of a toxic workplace, and having “cleaned house” of old “friends, I got this sense of COURAGE. So I sat in the salon chair and said “I’m doing the usual color touch-up, haircut and blow-dry. Except I want you to chop it all off. That’s all I’m saying I am leaving it in your hands to work the magic. There, I welcomed this new version of me. & She’s pretty fab!
Cutting our hair incorporates all of the reasons posted and more. For some it is a release, a confidence builder, a new beginning. For others it is another way to hide, to rebel, to be vindictive. Whatever each individuals deep seeded reason is for cutting & changing their hair, the truth is that a least ONE person will always notice and that is the real life change.
All to often we get “set in our ways” and lose the extraordinary woman we are meant to be. When we look good, we feel good. God wants us to care for our bodies as well as our spirit & souls. The way we look and feel about ourselves could be what saves another woman from her abusive relationship, her dead end job, a bad reputation. The self confidence, happy glow, & productivity that freed our soul is then shared to free another. And it all starts with just a simple hair cut….
well i didnt cut my hair and i must say i can imagine it was liberating for you,in response to your tweet of what i have decided to let go to live free,i have had issues with my self esteem and @ 22 i just wanted to have my own circle of friends whom appreciate me and hang out with but not brag i realised it now that im unique and not meant to fit in and am always excelling in my academics(am in varsity) and my so called friends are actually jealous of me and i realised that they actually compete with me and envy me,well they copy my hairstyle,my clothes and the list is endless,
used to be so desperate for their approval that at times i had to take in deragatory comments and mistook them for advice..i have had to endure them going behind my back and spreading gossip and pretend to ask stuff about me as if they care when they want something to talk about…on reading your tweets and blog,it has set me apart and gave me a perspective and i must say keep on keeping on..now i dont “hang” with them and its just me but i feel sooo liberated,and well im embracing my singleness now,
well had a refined guy show interest in me and had told my “friends’ about him before i let go of them and long story short,the gossip caused him to withdraw his attemtp to approach me cause he lost interest with whatever he was told about me(so i figured in the end),i try not to blame them and not go after him and convince him and all but i realise its in God’s hands..its been tough with mockery behind his lack of interest and liking someone who never asked me out or anything but i realise that working on me and enjoying my solitude is the solution than trying to figure things out..
love your tweets and blog!!
Firstly, I want to say Thank God for you Mandy.Wow. You look amazing. I have cut my hair in the past and had felt free also. However for the past couple of days that turned into weeks then months, I had been on a weave spree. I tried three different looks and now I am sporting my natural hair that is growing back from the many ill-treatment done to it. The truth is I was trying to be someone else other than my TRUE self. I look in the mirror each day now and finally I am seeing bits of myself forming once again. All by His grace.
I had long hair when I was a child and my older sister made me cut it. She said it was “stringy looking”. So it went from being long to a pixie cut. I have had every length in between over the years. I like the bob cut but decided to grow my bangs out a few months ago. Which of course, now meant I’ve grown it all out. I can now pull my hair back into a fairly decent pony tail again. My grays are coming and they are a lovely shade of silver/platinum. (no sarcasm intended) I really like my grays. They look like highlights to me. I know I need a haircut, I just haven’t decided on the style. I am planning on going tomorrow for a trim and consult. We’ll see what happens. I am thinking I am going to grow it out for a little while longer. My theory has always been – Hair Grows back, It just takes time. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
Love your hair. Good luck Wednesday! I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished. Keep being obedient to God and the sky’s the limit!
I read this blog and said , “This is my life…today…right this minute.” I actually started wearing hair extensions and lashes during the last stage of my on again off again relationship of 14 years. I thought the girl in the extensions was more beautiful and when I added the lashes I became someone else. Well I learned that those things did nothing to heal me from the pain, low self-esteem, and insecurity I felt. I used them to literally cover the real me and in the process I lost myself. When I removed those additions I did not recognize the person I saw in the mirror. She looked familiar but I could not possibly be her. The girl in the make-up didn’t have blemishes, the “other girl’s” hair was flowing down her back, and her pretty lashes made her big eyes pop. This person is the mirror was the complete opposite. My real hair in all honesty looked better than the extensions but I was not able to see that. I wanted to transform myself outwardly into the girl he would want all while destroying myself internally. I have come to a place of peace with who I am. I have not stopped wearing the extensions but anytime they make me feel like anyone other than myself I take them out. I have learned to love me with my flaws and all because at the end of the day, when all the people are gone and there is no else around I am stuck with me.
I couldn’t agree more! I decided that I was ready for some major life changes, as I am very over weight and I cut my hair as a reminder of the change that I wanted. Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of it and so far I have lost over 30 pounds because of it. Cutting your hair can be an amazing catalyst for some great life changes!
PLAIN AND SIMPLE: Cutting your hair means — out with the old and in with the new ! It is truly an empowering decision and one you will NOT regret !! (Besides, it WILL grow again and you can grow along with it at every stage).
I went in for a “trim” 2 weeks ago and came out with my hair 8-10 inches shorter! Everyone has always been afraid to cut my hair, including me, but when I asked the lady what SHE would do and told her to go for it, there was no turning back. I had told a guy friend by text that I was getting it cut not trimmed and he was actually “worried” about what I was doing. That was what helped me decide I needed a big change FOR ME and no one else mattered at that moment. It’s a major change for me after 30 some years, but it feels good and it’s so much healthier for my hair…and for me!
i think your hair looking very good than old style
I agree. Simple act, but an inspiring experience.
Cutting your hair is freeing because of the energy that leaves along with the cut. I find that I cut my hair after I break up with someone because a bit of their energy is usually caught in the hair. As a part of the purging process and re-dedication of my life back to the basics, a hair cut is always good. I loved your story and love your blog! Here’s to no longer seeking approval from others!
I just stumbled across your blog and information about your book, after having conversations with a few family members in the past 24 hours about how just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, and I am so glad I have reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable saying that. I’ve been going through many major transitions lately, and have been thinking about cutting my hair too. Reading this blog and how it made you feel makes me think I need to just go do it and find a copy of your book to read! 🙂
I just read your blog post that I was brought to by your post on today’s Positively Positive page.
Today I Cut My Hair & Changed My Life is great writing as well as your Break-UP or Break-OVER? post. Your writing speaks to me and I will now be a regular reader. Thank you for your willingness to “live out loud” for the rest of us to learn from and feel like we are not alone.
I just cut my hair too! What a liberating feeling! And, as much as I think it’s a great cut, I think I’ve gotten such a huge response because somehow I’m shining through a little more than I was….I just feel more like…me. 🙂
i relate having long hair to the whole idea of beauty and having people look at you and accept you without questions, criticisms and judgement. To cut your hair is liberating because you letting go literally and being you no matter the outcome. The fear that comes with cutting hair once overcome you see that life is still as beautiful with you in it when you are free to be who you are. when i go through depressive times the first thing i see when i look in the mirror is my hair and i tell myself cut it.. just cut it and feel better and i hold back holding onto every depressing memory. so this time around, after i read your book, i went through another horrible ordeal and i let the hair go, not so i should look different but so that i should let go of all the stress keeping me down. and i felt amazing and free to walk through life happy. plus i joined a zumba class. life is beautiful.
I had my mum give my hair a good trim right after I got back from the university, a few months ago. It felt light and I wasn’t feeling it. But what I needed was a fresh start so much that I would have shaved my head if possible (lol). Even though I relapse into depression with the fact that my hair, my body or my life isn’t the exact way I want it to be, I’m taking care of myself and trusting the process…with hope that I’d be fine again..
As a Nigerian, my hair is usually short, but last month I cut it and I loved it, however the hairstylist didn’t do a good job of it 🙁 but I’m going back to cut it next month… I agree, it feels like I’m letting go of issues and finally free!!! I used to be so obsessed with hair extensions, like without them I was incomplete… I’m moving towards being me and loving every bit of it…
I’m a 29 yr old female. I’ve had the same boring hairstyle my whole life-just past my shoulders wavy brown hair, which I always tied up. I’ve wanted to chop all my hair off so it would be REALLY short since I was 17-never had the guts. Happy to say, last Thursday I took the plunge. My new, beloved style consists of it from the top to the middle of my head & 5 centimetres above my ears very short. From the middle to the end of my head & above my ears I got it shaved to a number two on the clippers, I love it!!! Not only did I feel great afterwards, but from the start to the finish of chopping all my hair off, seeing & feeling it get so radically cut made me feel liberated & free, & I was a new person. Seeing the process of the length off my hair getting cut short, watching the once long strands of my hair getting cut, falling to the ground, now that part of my hair short, felt highly cathartic 😉
Yes, cutting hair is like a ritual or something to show a new life. For buddism, you need shave your hair that means throw all of your trouble totally. good for you
[…] months ago I was going through Mandy Hale’s blog, The Single Woman, when I came across a post she had written about cutting her hair because she had been defined by how it looked for far too […]
[…] I got this quote whilst reading another blog about cutting one’s hair (https://mandyhale.com/2013/08/12/today-i-cut-my-hair-changed-my-life/), it’s ‘Another woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life’. Guess who […]
I just had a haircut last weekend.
When I was young my mother would always cut my hair short(as in short that gave me a boy-look) because I was thin. As a girl, I always wanted to have a long hair that I can style depends on my mood or occasion. So when I got into college, I told my mom that I want it long…no more cutting and she agreed(but not really).I used to have long-curly hair for 4 years and had a re-bond yearly for 5 yrs. I got tired And now..maybe as part of my single hood(been 2 yrs now), I just crave for changes..I had it short like when I was young. It’s funny how I hate it before haha!
-Just Sharing =D-
I finally decided to cut my hair in a bob style after years and years of styling my longish (past my shoulders) hair every morning, only to promptly put it in a pony tail or twist. Putting my long hair up was practical and necessary for work. I was tired of having long hair and not truly being able to enjoy it. The final straw came when I came home from work to an invitation to go out on the town ASAP. I had worn a ponytail all day and couldn’t get rid of the dent in my hair. I had to wear the ponytail out. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED. Now I style my hair everyday like before, but I have a beautiful style and am ready to go anywhere anytime and feel GREAT! PS I get compliments all the time about my hair. Thant never happened before!