Today I Cut My Hair & Changed My Life
I cut my hair today. And it felt good.
Actually, it felt better than good. It felt like freedom.
You see, for a really long time, I’ve let my hair and my thoughts about my hair and my feelings about my hair and my insecurities about my hair sort of control me. Over the course of my 34 years, I’ve permed it and straightened it and colored it and highlighted it and extended it and curled it and once, when I was about five, I even chopped one whole side of it up to my chin due to a dare from my older cousin (the other side hung almost to my waist. It looked lovely, let me tell you). It’s a fair assessment to say that because of all the years of torturing it until it begged for mercy, my longer hair of yesterday wasn’t in the greatest shape. It was long, but it wasn’t thick. Or at least as thick as I wanted it to be. So what did I do? I became obsessed with hair extensions. I felt as baldheaded as Daddy Warbucks without them (I wasn’t. It was totally all in my head). It got to the point where I was wearing them every day. I felt naked if I didn’t have them clipped in. They became my security blanket. And to some degree…the way I viewed myself became all wrapped up in those inches of extensions.
And the more real and authentic and transparent my life became as I traveled this road of being “The Single Woman”…the more those extensions started to feel like my crown of thorns.
This is not a blog bashing people with extensions or other hair pieces. I’m a fan, believe me. I love makeup and spray tans and gel manicures and false eyelashes. I’m all for enhancing what God gave you. But for me, the extensions weren’t complimenting me any more…they were inhibiting me. I felt unattractive without them. And that’s an unhealthy place to be. Not to mention, it started to feel really hypocritical for me to encourage other ladies to not be defined by their outer appearance yet I was being defined by mine. Especially with my new book coming out.
Yes, the release of The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass has been a game-changer for me. Putting this book out there has been me sharing my biggest fears and heartbreaks and disappointments with the world. It feels a little like standing naked in the middle of Times Square. It’s me being completely transparent about my flaws and my mistakes and my stumbles in order to encourage others through theirs. And it leaves no room for pretense, for fakeness, for anything less than 100% courage and boldness and honesty.
So today…I cut my hair. And I threw away the extensions.
And when the hair fell from my head and to the floor…so did my fear.
My self-doubt quickly joined in. Followed by the toxic ex whose approval I worked overtime for. The pain from the dream job I lost eight years ago wasn’t far behind.
Then went my insecurity (well, not ALL of it. I am a woman. But MOST of it). My need to please. My hurt over never feeling like I was enough to make my on-again, off-again love be more ON again than OFF again.
And finally…my desire to be anything different than exactly who I am hit the ground. And I was free.
I was inspired to write my book to help all of you get your groove back, reclaim your spark, change your lives, walk in freedom of the opinions of others, find your MUCHNESS again…
…and today, I found mine, too.
You can read more about my many lessons, flaws, victories, missteps, & misadventures in my new book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass, in bookstores everywhere.
What do you think it is about cutting your hair that feels so FREE? And in what other ways have you reclaimed your spark? Comment below. Best comment wins a copy of my book!