This Is Why I Wrote My Book…and Why You Should Read It
A woman without a man is still of infinite worth. ~Kristen McMain Oaks
In August 2013, my first published book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass hit bookstores across the country. It was a proud moment, for sure. It’s been my dream to write a book since I was old enough to read, and probably even before, when my first grade teacher would read to us fanciful tales of faraway places every day in school. I lived for those 20-30 minutes she read aloud to us each day, when I could close my eyes and escape to somewhere only the written words can transport you to.
Yes, releasing my first book was a proud moment for me. The culmination of every dream I’ve ever had. A gigantic leap of faith. And a process that’s nearly four years in the making. But none of these reasons is why I wrote the book. Not for pride, not for money, not even to make the New York Times Bestseller List (even though I’d be lying if I didn’t say that would be pretty ridiculously awesome.)
I wrote this book for you. Not because I am “The Single Woman”…but because we ALL are “The Single Woman.”
We’ve all been stood up. We’ve all had disastrous first dates and blind dates and “Houdinis” who disappeared from our lives without so much as a text (let alone an explanation). We’ve all scrolled through our Facebook timelines and wanted to either scream or cry at the unfairness of a world that allowed every friend we had in high school (even the one with the really questionable reputation) to get married before us. We’ve all wondered silently to ourselves if we are meant to wander the earth alone.
We’ve all been forced to sit at the kids table at family reunions because there’s no room for the “single folks” at the grown-up table. We’ve all been patted on the head patronizingly by someone who we ran into at Wal-Mart when they asked us “So are you dating anyone?” and we said “No.” We’ve all lost contact with friends, even best friends, when they fell into the Bermuda Triangle of marriage and kids and don’t have time for us anymore. We’ve come home to empty houses, gazed into empty refrigerators, and gone to sleep in empty beds. And no on noticed the tears that fell on our pillows.
But you know what else we’ve done?
We’ve learned to use a power saw and navigate Home Depot on our own. We’ve moved across the country for a dream job without a second thought. We’ve walked into dozens of parties minus a plus one with our heads held high. We’ve hung curtains, carried the groceries up three flights of stairs, changed our own oil and parallel parked like a boss all in the same day without anyone’s assistance. We’ve thrown away the map of “Love & Marriage” and charted our own paths of “Single & Fabulous.” We’ve put together our own desks from Target, even with 72 pieces and four pages of indiscernible instructions. Written in Italian.
We’ve gotten our Master’s Degree. We’ve lost 65 pounds. We’ve found a way to turn our dream into our job. We’ve adopted as single moms. We’ve raised kids on our own. We’ve traveled to Paris by ourselves on a whim. We’ve danced joyfully in the rain.
We’ve let go, moved on, risen above, overcame, persevered, loved and lost, felt the fear and did it anyway, forgiven & forgotten, gotten back up, tried again, traveled, laughed, loved, cried, felt, hoped, wished, dreamed, celebrated, and learned to stand on our own two feet.
The world, the news, pop culture, magazines, books, dating shows, sometimes even our well-meaning friends and family members are so caught up in everything that we’re NOT (married)…that they’ve forgotten everything that we ARE.
Fierce. Fabulous. Brave. Strong. Kind. Unique. Colorful. Bold. Independent. Completely capable. Lovable. Passionate. Driven.
This book, my friends…is our chance to remind them.
And THAT’S why I wrote it. And why you should read it.
Hold your heads high, single ladies. This is your moment to shine.
Grab your copy of The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass at all major bookstores.
International friends, click here to find out how to order your copy.
Wow, if this piece could move me this much, I can only imagine the inspiration in those pages. Congratulations
Thank you, Jodi! I appreciate your enthusiasm! 🙂
Oh my gosh It’s like holy poop……… I am a new single mother after 21 years of marriage turning 50 in days and just the reading of that single piece of writing has more emotion and fact and truth and life then anything or anyone I can relate to I’m so going out to buy this book asap you have no idea what you have just given me Oh my word i’m so excited thank you
Gah, the part after the “But you know what else weve done…” just brought me to joyful tears. You reminded me of how strong I am because I’ve done ALL of those things…ALONE! When we dont see it in ourselves, thank God for a woman like you to publish an amazing book to remind us. Love you, Mandy! I cant wait to purchase the book. 🙂
Love it! Its so relating…:P. SINGLE, WORKING, LOVING, ENJOYING and HAPPY! 🙂
I cannot wait to read the book im all the way in South Africa. Im so inspired 🙂
The best book I’ve purchased
I bought your book, because i needed some uplifting, being divorced twice and feeling like i only attracted loosers. After reading i felt so much better and realize i was not the reason for the break up and feeling good about the choice i made. It really lifted my spirits and im moving on and loving it. Thanks.
Wow if that isn’t an inspiration to all us single women out there I don’t know what is. This is the book I’ll be buying to read on the beach on mine and my daughters first holiday! Anything is possible be brave be daring you can achieve anything with or without a man.
Beach reading…one of my favorite things to do! 🙂 ENJOY!!!
Congratulations, definitely can not wait to read the book, because that written piece moved me to always want to strive for the best.
Yes! Hold out for the best, let go of the rest!
God has blessed you with a great gift and purpose in this life. It’s an awesome feeling knowing of one of the reasons He placed you in this time and era, the here and now is to be a voice for the countless ones of us… The single, divorced, widowed who all need the world to know, to understand the uniqueness, love, feelings, experiences, and energy of all of us out here finding and making our way on our own. You are an inspirational voice to remind everyone we are not alone. We have God, family, friends, and ourselves to fill our lives. It’s ok and right to live life to the fullest and maybe someday He will send the “right” companion into our lives. Until then, we live! Congratulations and thank you… I’m looking forward to reading today.
Such wonderful words! Thank you! I hope you enjoy the book! 🙂
Just went through a break up after a five year relationship. all those things that u described that single women go through i have had to learn and endure. but instead of looking at them as another reason to crawl back into my depression cave and wallow in self pity and second guessing myself, i will embrace every single woman challenge and hold up every success as a badge of honour. cant wait for ur book to get to Africa…#newlysingleandembracingit
Hey lady! Exclus1ves in South Africa has my book for sale! Are you able to order from them? http://www.exclus1ves.co.za/search/?logSearch=true&q=mandy+hale
Tell it girlfriend!!! Congrats to you on your achievement! Can’t wait to read the book! Enjoying my current single life and having loads of fun!
Do your thang, girl! 🙂
**i really needed to hear this at this present moment….**
I love how that happens. Seems like God always finds a way to bring us the exact word he needs us to hear at the perfect time! Happy to have been the vessel! xoxo
Woooooooooow!!!!!!!!dis is beautiful,God bless u real Good.Congratulations………….Looking forward 2 reading ur book
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! 🙂
Praise be to God for embracing us with such a beautiful gift as you. Congratulations on your book and you such an inspiration to me. May you be blessed on all levels of your precious life.
What a wonderful sentiment! Thank you, friend! xoxo
To God be the Glory ! I gotta have this book….sign me up !
Girl, just go to the homepage of my site & order there!!! 🙂 xoxo
Oh, How I’ve been waiting for this book to come out! I can’t wait to read. You are an inspiration and I look up to all that you have done, and are doing. I have a womens group to help women in my community and you are definitely someone I look up to with all that you do and offer for us women! 🙂
Mandy, I received your book in the mail today! I bought it off of Amazon, and I can’t wait to read it! I have your ebook on my Amazon Kindle and I loved it! I have been following you on Twitter since 2010, and I appreciate you. Thank you for your awesome advice!
Loved this blog post about your book. Actually sat a little taller in my seat. I went on a trip to Europe this year – all by myself! Never thought I’d get to ever ever do something like that (I have 5 kids, 2 of which are grown). But this year – I decided it was time to do something completely for me! As a single mother, it worked out – the kids stayed with their dad while I spent 19 days in England and Germany. So when I saw what you wrote about your book, it made me feel even better about doing that. Way outside my comfort zone – but I faced it and I did it. Oh – and I’ll do it again! 🙂
Looking forward to reading your book – and need to embrace many of the other wonderful “power words” you listed – seriously do. Thanks, Mandy. I see many of your posts in Lessons on Facebook. <3
It’s scary how much I agree with what you just said! It’s almost as if I was reading my inner thoughts, haha. Keep being you Mandy and keeping helping single girls realize how fabulous we all are.
This book could not have come at a better time! Everything in this piece is exactly what I’m going through! I can’t wait to read this book! You truly are a God send! 🙂
l can’t put this thangggg down!! I’m 30 and a single mommy… Very independent and a workaholic … These first few chapters is like reading my life story … So glad I’m not “alone” haha!! l have already been promoting this book!! Ty for answering your calling and being a vessel for God’s word and works in our lives!!
Wow!! Not even sure how I got on an email list and got an ad for this book…. Gods timing is always impeccable! I’m a single mother of an 19 month old with a church home we LOVE but its filled with ‘stepford christian families’ (like stepford wives movie) and in the last year I’ve heard message series on ‘Gods recipe for a healthy marriage’ ‘parenting with a plan’ (all towards 2 parent families). God always speaks to me through them in diff ways. I’ve been actively praying for 9+ months about getting a single ladies/mamas small group started – and about 3 months ago the spirit opened up an opportunity for me to ask this girl who I had noticed for about 6 months and just could almost tell by looking at her she was and is in a similar struggle as myself. We talked for 5 mins following service and committed to starting something even if it is just the 2 of us and if God grows it from there great… Well can’t wait to go pick up this book tomorrow and tell my friend about it. I’m going to get an extra copy to give to her Sunday. Thanks glad I got this in my email and found this blog. God Bless you!
I have seen this from a friend’s post when I woke up this morning and it felt like this is the answer to my questions. I’ve fallen for the wrong ones and I feel like I’m losing hope finding the right guy. I’m single, I don’t have kids yet and never been married – but I have God. I soooo want to read this – hope this book gets to Bahrain soon.
This woman is a complete blessing,I’m getting 1**may you shine even more brighter*
Good day! I raally like to read your book. Can I ask if the book is already available here in the Philippines? Thank you.
What an inspiration. God does have perfect timing for the perfect message to be heard. Thank you for being his messenger. I turned 50 years young raised my kids and have found myself at a new, with hurdles to face again and decision to make by my self. : ) I am excited and look forward to reading your book. God bless you and congratulations!
WOWWWW!!!! Is all I can say! Making sure I have in my budget the funds to purchase the book! The blog alone stirred my spirit!
SOOO needed to see this today. I keep putting the smile on thinking my heart will smile one day and stop thinking I am inadequate and unworthy because I don’t have a new girlfriend. Moving on from my first lesbian relationship has been hard especially knowing she has found someone else so quickly, just like that, they are traveling and living the “fun & good life.” I am very good at being my own best friend and independent almost to a fault but losing her has been a blow I didn’t expect to happen and actually , I don’t think I ever “had” her, I just had hoped I did and tried to hard and for too long. She is a beautiful, fun loving girl and I keep thinking I will never find someone who will be as beautiful to love me back. So thank you for letting me know once again that I am amazingly beautiful and I need to stop feeding into the typical societal BS that I am a loser because I don’t have anyone attached to my hip and/or quickly replacing her with someone else. RAISING MY “GLASS” TO FINDING A BEAUTIFUL ME THROUGH THE LONELINESS & REJECTION! & from here I will be found beautiful.
This was exactly what I needed for exactly how I felt for a long time. Can’t wait to read it.
I’m gonna go raid the bookstores now to get this book!
Congratulations Mandy!! I stumbled upon your blog probably a year or so ago and I just love it. Being single and in my late 20’s after ending an engagement in my early 20’s your blog has always encouraged me SO much. When will it be at Barnes and Noble? I’m going to the Florida Keys and I’m definitely going to pick it up before then! I don’t know you but feel like I do from reading your blog. Congrats again!! 🙂
hope I can have your book. I think this would really boost my confidence as a single lady…
I’m from the other side of the world and glad that I read your message. I share the same sentiments and very thankful for reminding us that there’s nothing wrong with being single, nothing to fear..Congrats!
So inspiring!! I’ve been single all of my 19 years of life and this HAS to be the next thing I read!! Thank you so much for your strength and boldness! I hope that I can live out the rest of my single days as well as you have described here!
I’m from South Africa and i’ll also like a copy of you book..wr can i get it and for how much.. I read your post evryday and they keep me going….been single for 2years now…
Going out today to buy this book! Perfect timing, can’t wait to dig in!
Can i get the book in itunes? Thanks and more power 🙂
Wow managed to pull at my heart. Can’t wait to read the book. Congrats and well done! Love from South Africa
I can relate with some of the things you wrote on your book i’m definately getting myself one
I became single again almost 3 years ago when my husband of 16 years died unexpectedly of a heart attack. I am now bringing up two teenage boys on my own and it’s not always easy but your words have been an inspiration over the past few months since I first found you on twitter.
I pray that God will bless you, I’m sure he is reaching out to many through your words reminding us all of our true worth – thank you xx
Thank you so much Mandy for this post! Something I needed to read! I can’t wait to read the book!
Omg, in tears. Read the Single Woman’s Sassy survival guide and my only wish was that it was longer, now this! 🙂 Thank you so much for telling your truth, following your dreams, & being an inspiration to all us sassy single gals! #Singleandfabulous #Unashamed
“He may not come when you want him, but He is always right on time.” Last week, I resigned from my PR job that I loved due to the work environment. And I still struggle from a bad breakup two years ago which has left me determined to never let anyone else in. But my job filled the void of any “loneliness.” Now that I’ve resigned, the unknown has me scared and unsure of myself. But today I came across this blog and your book. Mandy, you definitely told my story and gave me a renewed sense to just let God guide my path. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the book. God Bless your gift and ability to speak to us single women.
THANK YOU!!! I needed to read that today, and I now will be buying your book tonight. You constantly remind me (and probably countless other women) what and who I am, even when I forget. Thank you again!
Best of luck with your book–it sounds like a much-needed “chin-up” for single ladies. You may want to check out paragraph four on this page–I believe “wonder” should actually be “wander.”
Wow !!! M thinking of moving out of my mother’s house currently unemployed, i want to move to another city to start a new life and perhaps a new job. With 2 kids under my wing and God on our side and every single lady there is out there. I will make it thank u for the wonderful words and the book wil be on my shelf soon enough.
This has been the best piece of writing iv read in a long time! Its refreshing to read so many stories, to think when u are alone that ur the only one feeling this way, then to see so many go thro it also were all fighting the same demon. Im defo buying this book well done your a big inspiration lady 🙂 love from bonnie Scotland 🙂
My late daddy always used to say every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. Thank u Ms. Hale for reminding me that in all my failures & weaknesses something good was happening( & is still happened) that never noticed. I can’t wait to read you book. Thank you & God bless you Luke 1:28
love it love it love it <3 <3 <3 😀 cant wait to read the book. thank u
wow… South african single ladiez are gonna love this book… 🙂
Being single is a blissful choice! And I need to buy your book to discover what’s in the pages. 🙂
Can’t wait until I get paid to get this book! I’ve grown tired of family members asking “So are you seeing anyone?” I know they want me to be happy but it’s absolutely frustrating. So glad I discovered this book on Twitter!
This book is amazing,I want to have my own copy I’m from South Africa and excited to read a few pages from twitter about this book..May God bless you Mandy Hale for your major contribution in helping us single woman I just wanna say Thank you.
Hi Mandy, just got off a 5 year relationship and I really do not know how to be single. Kindly, i want to know if I can get the book in my locale, Nairobi,Kenya
Cannot wait to put my hands on it.
I seriously need this book!Am in Nigeria and don’t know how
I love your book. It’s nice to know that there are more of us out there who would love to find someone but are single right now. I’m one of those people who enjoy reading the advice of love coaches but some seem to elevate romantic partnerships to such a level that they suggest it’s the only place where we grow. Friendships have as much to offer in the realm of growth. Your blog helps remind me of that.
[…] recently read The Single Woman by Mandy Hale and for the first time, I felt understood. I’ve read the book twice now – […]
I thought I’d read it all when I read your book. However, this post just summed it all up. The houdini’s have been my latest problem. I pray that one day I can be as brave & fearless & happy as you! Thanks as always for sharing!
Congratulations!! Upwards and onwards! You’re an inspiration.
Miss Mandy Hale! You are truly an inspiration. I’m certain you have impacted many lives in ways you can’t even imagine. I’ve been following you on twitter for a while now and you have truly made me feel better. There have definitely been times I cried myself to sleep thinking why am I not good enough? Through all your inspirational quotes, I wake up with a smile on my face every single day. I have learned to embrace the single life and going after my dream while all my hs and college classmates are getting married. I fully believe my time will come and I will find Mr. Right. But, until then, I’m doing me and loving life! Will order your book soon. You’re awesome! I hope to meet you one day! xoxo
Amazing!! So many women dont realize how amazing it can be to be single. More opportunities for the right things an people to come into our life!
Mandy 🙂 This statement …’and “Houdinis” who disappeared from our lives without so much as a text (let alone an explanation)’…I so know what that is about. I am s o tickled and can’t wait to read your book. It will be so loved in Kenya. Hope we see it in our bookstores soon. Thank you for writing this for us.
Tears poured down my face as I read this. I have looked in all my local stores for your book but I live in area that is slightly behind. My tears were not sad ones but just affirmation of the woman I set out to be only to lose myself along the way. Thank you for everything you do. You are a genuine blessing!!!!
Have you been following me around in secret and writing about my life?!? Spot on, sister. Can’t wait to read. Thank you.
I had been always in a long distance relationships for nearly 13years, none of them works fine, so the words of ‘single woman’ is become my label.
There are moments when people turns me down because i’m being single, they keep judging me for being picky in term of men, which is not true at all.
you crack me up, when u wrote about assembling your own desk, which i just did few weeks ago .. lol
amazingly true, we can do all those stuff
will find your book here in Indonesia, hopely can bring back my self confident. thanks for writing it.
Thank you so much for writing a book like this! I was married for 14 years, and last year he up and left us for his first love. I searched so many bookstores for a book like this, and like you said, there are so many books out there on marriage, but none for the single woman.
Thank you so much for the encouragement! You have a beautiful gift that inspires so many of us!
This is absolutely amazing!! I love it. Been struggling with houdinis all my life. But ever since I started following U on twitter and your blogging challenge. My view on life as a single woman has completely changed. Am happier, relationships with God, my family n friends are blossoming. I wish every single lady in the world would find this, ur writing Mandy. Thank you do much for being u and thanks again for being God’s vessel to us single ladies. I feel like ur website is exactly what God wanted me to find. Thank you!
Don’t know wen your book will be getting to Uganda but am looking forward to t. For now, ur blog is pretty awesome!
What a freaken solid article..was feeling defeated and broken until I read this..!
Amen to that!
I can fully relate & I’ve found inspiration in the short passage u wrote.The book is a definite must have, I’m sure I’d hv a frnd in it…#South Africa
Hi there Mandy, i am so amazed with your book & i feel like it was written for me 🙂 i am from the Philippines, is there a way for me to get a copy of your book from here
thank you & may God bless you more as you continue to inspire other single woman like us. Take care!
Can’t wait until I have some extra money to buy this book.
I absolutely loved reading this and I want to read it over and over again whenever I feel myself slipping into that “single slump.” I’m in the middle of a huge storm in my life and the last few months have been a whirlwind of emotions. I definitely think you are an inspiration to ALL single women out there! Keep it up Mandy!
Mandy You are such a Gift!!! Sometimes I lol at times, because reading your blog and noticing how relate able of a person you are…. I feel like I’m reading a page right out of my own life. Thank you for crying with me, laughing with me, and most importantly being strong for me on the days I just wanted to throw my hands in the air, and reminding me how awesome a woman I am, have been, and will become regardless of whether my marital status says S…or M. You are truly transforming lives.
I just purchase copy of your book yesterday and I love it.. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. May God continue to bless and prosper Manday Hale.
Even though I was married for 21 years to my first husband who specialized in being a blood-sucking leach, and have just escaped from a 2 year physically abusive second marriage, I have always been single! I raised my two boys on my own, and they are upstanding young men. I realize now why my marriages did not succeed. I was and am too strong and powerful, and neither of the men in my life were able to appreciate me for who I am. Their loss. I am embarking on a new chapter of my life, a new home, a new beginning, and I am super excited. Can you believe that I went out with a friend to a wine tasting last night for the first time in my adult years. So many years of being oppressed and doing the right thing for the man that you love. Ugh! From beautiful South Africa to the rest of the world: We girls here are survivors, and we are taking back our power! We are Single and Fabulous, and WE ARE LOVING IT! Thank you, Mandy for your inspiring book. I will definitely be promoting your good work. For too long we have allowed men to take our power, and now it is our time. Watch out world, here we come, SINGLE AND FABULOUS. We will not apologise for our awesomeness. Take back you power, girls. Blythe
This is inspirational. Thank you!
Mandy, you are awesome. I just loved this post. I finished reading your book a few days ago and I’m actually going to re-read it again in a month or two! One of these days I’ll write you on how I came across your book. Thank you so much for doing what you do and I am looking forward to reading your second book when it comes out in 2014! Blessings to you!
I have been questioning everything lately about being 33 and single with a failed marriage and starting at the bottom in a new career. Constantly comparing myself to everyone around me. But after reading that, I have realised that even if I don’t look like a I want to at the moment, I am working on it for me and I have just booked an overseas holiday that I am going on by myself – I am an independent single woman and I am kicking it! Thank you so much for making me realise that it is ok to be where I am right now – that’s where I am supposed to be!
This page, everything on it… makes me NEED to go out and buy this book. Looks fabulous!!
Wow I feel like am the one in this book ,can’t wait to read it ! Thanks for sharing your wisdom Awesome !!
I really need to read this, you described a lot of they ways I feel. In my case I didn’t chase the dream job or move across the country, but in instead fought and still fight the diagnosis of breast cancer at the age of 40! Just your writings here have made me realize what in fact I have accomplished as a single woman…. Thank you Mandy xoxo
Can’t wait to read this book! Is it available in South Africa
I just started your book. I can’t put it down! Thank you so much Mandy. I have had a negative attitude about being single for too long. Time for change.
Love ur Twitter and blog material. I want to get ur book but have seen and read a lot of references to God. I’m Buddhist and don’t know if I can truly relate to that aspect of ur writing. You are dead on about the single life though and I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels the way I do. I only wish I had a friend that could relate to me…..
Thank you Mandy for answering God call and writing these amazing and inspiring books I have read them all and can’t wait for more,God sent me your books right on time I love reading your daily quotes and blogs continue to let God lead you because through him you are helping so many 🙂