Dash of Sass: If You Chase It, It Will Run

Quotes of the Day:

“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Unknown

“Sometimes you need to let go of everything you’re clinging to and start over, whether because you’ve outgrown it or because it’s not working anymore, or because it was wrong for you in the first place.” ~Kelly Cutrone

“Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.” ~Anthony de Mello

The Single Woman Says:

Yesterday I baby-sat for my nieces Emma (9) and Olivia (6) and I observed something very interesting. The girls have a cat named Sadie that’s a most curious little creature. (As most cats are.) I’ve only seen the cat a handful of times and I’m over at my sister’s house all the time. Sadie has to feel completely, 100% comfortable with someone before she’ll come around them. And even then, she still sometimes won’t come around them. My niece Livi, being only six years old, is constantly chasing Sadie around, pursuing her, trying to pet her, trying to hold her down, trying to get her to stay in one place…even borderline stalking her – LOL! Now, when Livi just chills out and relaxes and lets the CAT come to HER, Sadie is all about Livi. She’ll rub against her, she’ll love up to her, she’ll even hop onto her lap and perch there, contentedly. But when Livi turns into the pursuer and starts hounding Sadie and grabbing her and attempting to possess her and keep her from running away…Sadie shoots off faster than a streak of light. This happens over and over and over again…until you’d think Livi would start to see that clinging to the cat only serves to drive her away. But then again, Livi is only six and the science behind “If you chase it, it will run” hasn’t quite sunk in with her yet. Actually, I know a lot of 20 and 30-somethings and beyond who the science of “If you chase it, it will run” still baffles. Isn’t this whole situation a perfect metaphor for…well, anything in life? Other than our dreams, the things we chase tend to stay just out of reach. Why is that? Because chasing and pursuing and frenetically hunting and stalking creates an energy of desperation, and desperation sends whatever it is we want so desperately racing away from us as fast as it can run. People want to be wanted. They don’t want to be required. If you are chasing after something or someone because you think you HAVE to have it in order to live a happy life, you are going to always come up empty-handed. Whereas when you relax, sit back, let life take its course, and give people and things the opportunity to BREATHE and to come to you freely, of their own volition, you open up space for life to flow your way effortlessly.

I guess the lesson to all this is: whatever the “Sadie” is in your life – stop the urgent chase, the frantic pursuit. Set it free. Let it go. Allow it to come or go as it pleases. And chances are, your “Sadie” will wind up purring in your lap. Anything you desperately seek will stay just out of reach. When you breathe, live your life, and go about your business independently, without relying on something or someone else to fill you up…happiness tends to find its way to you, regardless of whether your “Sadie” does or not.

17 Responses to “ Dash of Sass: If You Chase It, It Will Run ”

  1. Ciara Brown- Humes
    August 15, 2013

    I love it!

  2. Ayanna
    August 17, 2013

    So true and I think I am finally learning this. Thank you.

  3. Christina Swanson
    August 19, 2013

    Loved this post! This is so true and it’s just what I needed to hear today!!! Thank you!!

  4. ula
    August 20, 2013

    The most obvious things do not come to our minds easily. It’s great to meet someone like you who can make you aware of it

  5. September 3, 2013

    Thank you. Its easy to forget.

  6. Jill
    October 16, 2013

    So glad I stumbled upon your blog. This is exactly what I needed to hear (read). I might have chased my “Sadie” away this time, but now I know what to do the next time.

  7. cc
    October 21, 2013

    Thank you so much for this post! It’s funny…this is advice I tend to give to others but for some reason haven’t applied to my own life! I look forward to reading your blog…so appreciated!

  8. t
    October 29, 2013

    Waow!.. interesting blog!.. txs..

  9. Kerry
    January 31, 2014

    Awesome advise!!! Thank you.

  10. Natlie
    January 31, 2014

    Awesome! You just gave me a major revelation! I plan to implement this in my life starting this very moment.

  11. jackie
    February 28, 2014

    you are amazing! Love this story.

  12. Kim
    February 28, 2014

    This was perfect!! I already was aware of this concept and had it in mind but for some reason reading it in this context really changed it. It won’t be easy but I’m definitely going to try to remember this in future endeavors! Thank you!!

  13. AC
    March 17, 2014

    This is so on point! I am in the final stages of a divorce and getting over a lover. The pain of getting over the lover has been harder than letting go of the marriage because I was not in love with my husband. However, I fell in love (or very very deep like) with the lover who I found out had a ton of women around him. The problem is that we started out as friends and made a pact that we would always be friends no matter what. Now, I am struggling with being his friend (which I can’t do right now) or just walking away completely. I told him to give me some time to clear my head and let this “friendship” breathe.

  14. SLW
    March 22, 2014

    This is so true! If you chase it, it will RUN!

  15. Romina
    March 23, 2014

    Hi SW! This is exactly what I need today. Thank you for sharing this. May God bless you more and more!

  16. Lona
    July 31, 2014

    Thanks! this is what i realized and learned these past days. When i was not looking for someone special, they are the one chasing you. Now, it’s the other way around. I guess, you should never chase love, let love chase you. Cause if you keep chasing love, it keep running away from you & it will hurt you in the process. Big thanks!

  17. Jj
    September 4, 2014

    So true. I learned. Thank you!

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