Dash of Sass: If You Chase It, It Will Run
Quotes of the Day:
“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Unknown
“Sometimes you need to let go of everything you’re clinging to and start over, whether because you’ve outgrown it or because it’s not working anymore, or because it was wrong for you in the first place.” ~Kelly Cutrone
“Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.” ~Anthony de Mello
The Single Woman Says:
Yesterday I baby-sat for my nieces Emma (9) and Olivia (6) and I observed something very interesting. The girls have a cat named Sadie that’s a most curious little creature. (As most cats are.) I’ve only seen the cat a handful of times and I’m over at my sister’s house all the time. Sadie has to feel completely, 100% comfortable with someone before she’ll come around them. And even then, she still sometimes won’t come around them. My niece Livi, being only six years old, is constantly chasing Sadie around, pursuing her, trying to pet her, trying to hold her down, trying to get her to stay in one place…even borderline stalking her – LOL! Now, when Livi just chills out and relaxes and lets the CAT come to HER, Sadie is all about Livi. She’ll rub against her, she’ll love up to her, she’ll even hop onto her lap and perch there, contentedly. But when Livi turns into the pursuer and starts hounding Sadie and grabbing her and attempting to possess her and keep her from running away…Sadie shoots off faster than a streak of light. This happens over and over and over again…until you’d think Livi would start to see that clinging to the cat only serves to drive her away. But then again, Livi is only six and the science behind “If you chase it, it will run” hasn’t quite sunk in with her yet. Actually, I know a lot of 20 and 30-somethings and beyond who the science of “If you chase it, it will run” still baffles. Isn’t this whole situation a perfect metaphor for…well, anything in life? Other than our dreams, the things we chase tend to stay just out of reach. Why is that? Because chasing and pursuing and frenetically hunting and stalking creates an energy of desperation, and desperation sends whatever it is we want so desperately racing away from us as fast as it can run. People want to be wanted. They don’t want to be required. If you are chasing after something or someone because you think you HAVE to have it in order to live a happy life, you are going to always come up empty-handed. Whereas when you relax, sit back, let life take its course, and give people and things the opportunity to BREATHE and to come to you freely, of their own volition, you open up space for life to flow your way effortlessly.
I guess the lesson to all this is: whatever the “Sadie” is in your life – stop the urgent chase, the frantic pursuit. Set it free. Let it go. Allow it to come or go as it pleases. And chances are, your “Sadie” will wind up purring in your lap. Anything you desperately seek will stay just out of reach. When you breathe, live your life, and go about your business independently, without relying on something or someone else to fill you up…happiness tends to find its way to you, regardless of whether your “Sadie” does or not.