Dash of Sass: Why It’s Okay to NOT Be Positive All the Time

Quote of the Day:

Take a deep breath. It’s just a bad day, not a bad life. ~Unknown

The Single Woman Says:

Confession: Some days I don’t feel like being positive.

Some days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I have a bad hair day. My cat relieves himself in the floor and I have to stifle the urge to wring his neck. Or, like today, for example, people on Facebook get on my nerves to the point where I sit and hammer out a blog describing my “Top Five Things That Drive Me Bonkers About Facebook” in about 15 minutes, but then debate about whether or not to post it because I don’t want to sound too negative.

Sometimes I feel like as “The Single Woman,” I shouldn’t be allowed to NOT be positive. But I think even as a single woman or a non-single woman, it can be hard to give oneself permission to not be “happy happy, joy joy” all the time. Inspirationalists and self-help gurus and bloggers (including me) teach us that a positive mind leads to a positive life…that even in the face of major or minor annoyances, we should always maintain our smile…that a bad attitude leads to a bad day. And all those things are true. However, part of being a positive, healthy person is giving yourself permission to not be so “ON” all the time. I’m not suggesting you sit around and bemoan your circumstances for hours and days on end until you’ve driven yourself into a mindset of darkness and depression. I’m suggesting that if you are having an “off” day…let yourself. Don’t force positivity to the point of exhaustion. Be gentle with yourself and compassionate and loving TO yourself and let yourself off the hook a bit. You’re not superhuman. You’re not perfect. You’re not supposed to be. You’re not under any obligation to plaster a fake smile across your face to prove to the world that you’re a positive person. I’m sure even Oprah has bad days.

I don’t have any magical solution to help when you’re struggling with NOT feeling positive except to tell you to allow yourself to feel what it is you are feeling without guilt and without judgment. Sometimes the best way to move past a bad day is to acknowledge and validate your feelings, then let them go and move on! If crawling under the covers and eating cookie dough ice cream while watching Dirty Dancing for the 2,347th time is what it takes to get you back to a happy place…do it. Every once in awhile, give yourself the grace and space to NOT be positive. Because it’s always better to feel it than to fake it. And bad days don’t last forever.


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