Dash of Sass: Why Sometimes ‘Giving Up’ is Good!

Quote of the Day:

If you wanna fly, you got to give up the stuff that weighs you down. ~Toni Morrison

The Single Woman Says:

Today kicks off Lent, a season known in the Christian tradition as the 40-day period of fasting, prayer and penitence before Easter – or in single-lady language, a month and a half to become a better you. Though Lent is traditionally a Christian holiday, in recent years, it has been recognized by people of all cultures as a time of self-denial, of sacrifice and of giving up something in their lives that they’d rather not do without. Whether you’re spiritual or not, Lent is an excellent reason for single women everywhere to clear away the cobwebs of their pasts and open the curtains on their future by letting go of things that are not adding to their lives, but subtracting from it.

The phrase “give up” typically comes with negative connotations, since we are always urging others to NOT give up, but to keep going, keep pushing, keep trying…but some things actually NEED to be given up in order for us to continue to evolve into the best version of ourselves. I urge you to give up something for Lent, if for no other reason than to cultivate your discipline. I gave up sugar about 10 days ago and so far, have barely missed it. Other traditional things people surrender for Lent include caffeine, television, social media, spending money, and junk food. I would also like to suggest thinking outside the box for things you can give up that are, as the quote above says, “weighing you down.” Negative self-talk, toxic friendships, exes, insecurity, and gossiping could all fall under this category. Or, since we are on the cusp of Valentine’s Day, how about giving up the idea that being single on February 14th somehow makes you flawed, or pathetic, or “wrong”? I get so many emails from women asking “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I find someone to love me?” And my answer to that is: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, and the person you’re looking for to love you is YOU. So many women go through life thinking their lives are miserable and unhappy and unfulfilled because they don’t have a mate…but guess what? If your life is miserable and unhappy and unfulfilled without a partner, it will still be all those things WITH a partner. Why can’t we stop looking at Valentine’s Day as a day to survive and start looking at it as just another day to thrive? Our lives are not meant to be merely “survived” while we wait for a man to gallop up on a white horse and sweep us off our feet. And our lives are CERTAINLY not defined by whether or not we receive a teddy bear or a box of chocolates or a singing gorilla wearing heart-printed boxer shorts for Valentine’s Day. How about today, right this minute and every minute after, we give up the notion that our lives are lacking in love simply because they’re lacking in romance? Valentine’s Day is meant to be a celebration of LOVE, and there is love all around you, if you have eyes to see. Love from your friends, from your family, from your co-workers, from yourself. And instead of ducking under the covers and hiding from the world on Valentine’s Day, I urge you to celebrate your life, as is, no husband or boyfriend required, tomorrow and every day.

And if you don’t have plans for Valentine’s Day, I urge you to join me, Mandisa, and some other fierce and fabulous single ladies for Galentines – an event that is truly giving new meaning to the phrase “Girls Night Out.” You can join us in person if you’re in Nashville or online from anywhere in the world. Just visit GalentinesEvent.com or click the image below for all the details and to register!

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2 Responses to “ Dash of Sass: Why Sometimes ‘Giving Up’ is Good! ”

  1. Sam
    October 31, 2014

    Hi Mandy, I’m currently recovering from Narcissistic abuse, one of the most crushing forms of emotional abuse. It leaves the victim suicidal with an extremely crushed self esteem, (please read up about it) It has been difficult, especially since I blamed myself when the relationship was over, knowing very well that I couldn’t have done anything more. Your daily inspirational words have been great help! They have helped me take it one day at a time. I feel loved and supported, Thank you and God Bless you!

  2. Sam
    October 31, 2014

    I hope you get the time to reply, it would mean alot 🙂

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