The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: A BIG Destiny is Worth a Little Loneliness!
Quote of the Day:
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
The Single Woman Says:
Today I conducted an informal poll on my Twitter page to find out the biggest challenged faced by singles…and far and away, “loneliness” won the day. This hurts my heart. I actually sat here in my booth at Starbucks and cried. I suppose it’s not really a huge shock that this is a major issue faced by single people…I mean, the human instinct is to be coupled up. To have someone to come home to, to grow old with, to share things with. And at times it can seem like the single season of life is going to drag on forever and ever…trust me, I know this. Just this past week, I’ve watched person after person after person on my Facebook page post pictures of their little ones going off to the first day of school. I have some friends who have kids going into high school…and I have yet to even get started. So I understand loneliness in its purest form. And while it sometimes hurts and feels unfair and sad that I’m not experiencing all the things most people my age are experiencing right now…guess what? They’re not experiencing what I’M experiencing, either. Never forget that. For every time you glance over at your married friends’ lives with a flash of envy…believe me, they’re glancing over the fence at yours in the same way. The bottom line is this: You’re going to face down a little loneliness. It’s just the cross that us single folks have to bear. But if you learn to really sit with that loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to live life on YOUR terms, to chase your dreams instead of chasing a relationship…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU. The thing about all those married people is this – they might have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but in many cases – that’s it. They surrendered their dreams in exchange for the “American dream.” And that’s okay, for THEM. I cast NO shade on the married folks. I hope to be one myself someday. But in the meantime, I embrace my single season and even the loneliness that comes with it for the launching pad that it is. There’s something really cool about knowing that my destiny is SO big, I’m not meant to share it with anyone. At least not yet. So loneliness? Bring it on! I’m ready to learn and to grow and to be stretched and to cry and to hurt and to even be broken if that’s what my destiny requires. Because in the long run, a BIG destiny is worth a little loneliness.
Loneliness can be scary, really scary