The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Beauty Marks & Battle Scars

Quote of the Day:  

“I think about how there are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark. I don’t mean the usual faint impression: he was cute, she was nice, they made me laugh, I wish I’d known her better, I remember the time she threw up in class. And I don’t just mean that they change you. A lot of people can change you – the first kid who called you a name, the first teacher who said you were smart, the first person who crowned you “best friend.” It’s the change you remember, the firsts and what they meant, not really the people. I’m talking about the ones who, for whatever reason are a part of you as your own soul. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. My mom was right about that. Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless. If you had a lifetime to talk, there would still be things left unsaid.” ~Sara Zarr

The Single Woman Says:

I’ve been in the process of moving over the past few days, and as I stood in the doorway of my empty apartment the other night, I looked around the remnants left behind once all the furniture was taken out. A hair tie. A program from church. A cork that went into a wine bottle shared at dinner several months ago with two of my best friends – one of whom has since moved to LA. Artifacts from the past year of my life…the last remaining evidence of an era that has ended. And even after I swept and vacuumed and scrubbed the apartment, signs that I had lived there still remained. It struck me how much of a metaphor this is for life. People pass through our lives, sometimes for days, months, years, lifetimes…and they don’t leave without making their mark. Sometimes it’s a good mark. Sometimes it’s a bad mark. Sometimes it’s a little bit of both. But at the end of the day, no matter how much we might try and scrub our lives of any evidence of their existence, their impression on our lives remains.

And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe instead of fighting it or running from it, we should lean into it. Maybe we can look at the indentions made on our lives by others as beauty marks and not battle scars. And maybe we can let go of the person or love or friendship without letting go of the lesson. This process is often sad, yes, but isn’t that they amazing thing about life? That the flip side of intense pain is intense joy? It made me sad to find the wine cork that symbolized a dinner with a best friend who is no longer in my physical proximity, but at the same time – it made me smile to remember when he was. And THAT’s what a good memory is made up of – joy and pain…sunshine AND rain.

Don’t run from what was. Embrace it. Allow it to wash over you, cleansing you of the past and carrying you into the future. We’re not meant to go through life as a blank canvas. Things and people and events leave their mark on you and you leave your mark on them – resulting in the beautiful masterpiece of a well-lived life.