The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Honor Your Inner Circle
Quote of the Day:
“Don’t lose real friends trying to accommodate onlookers.” ~Kia Jarmon
The Single Woman Says:
The thing I have learned in a BIG way recently, and I’m actually working on a longer column about it now, is the importance of an inner circle. In my naivety, up until the past few weeks, I mistook people who SAID they had my back for people who REALLY had my back. Words and actions are two very different things. The people who are there for the good times are great…but the people who are there for the bad times are better. As Oprah says: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” It is VITAL to realize the difference between friends and onlookers in your life. Onlookers will rush to join you in the limo…real friends will rush to your aid when the limo breaks down. Onlookers will see a brief snapshot of your life and think they know the “real” you…real friends will keep a scrapbook of both your bad and good moments and will love you through both. Onlookers will line up to benefit from your favor and influence…but real friends know what it took to get you there.
Remember: If you dull yourself down to please the crowd, one day you’ll look up and be one of them. Don’t twist yourself up in knots trying to please people who don’t really know you anyway. Let the onlookers gawk and stare and clamor to rush to your side when the going is good, then disappear when the going gets tough. In short: Let the onlookers do what they’re there to do: Look. Then celebrate the people in your life who are there because they love you and not because they love what you can do for them. As rough as the tough times can be, they help purge and cleanse your life of people and things that are there just taking up space. A real friend can never, ever be washed away by a big wave. Honor them, love them, cherish your inner circle. They are the inner tubes in the ocean of life! J