The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Eat the Ketchup!
Quote of the Day:
“If you are in any way keeping a secret, or if you are in any way pretending to be something that you are not, you will never ever become all that you were meant to be. It just cannot happen.” ~Oprah
The Single Woman Says:
I was talking to a girlfriend the other night, and we were discussing how most of us (including myself) have difficulty being our true, authentic selves early on in relationships, for fear of “scaring the other person away.” Our inclination is to put our best foot forward and hide the silly, quirky, and even embarrassing things about ourselves until we feel more comfortable and secure in the relationship. My friend, for example, has a penchant for ketchup. She LOVES ketchup, and uses heaps of it when she eats…but she felt embarrassed for the first four years of her marriage to let her husband know how much she loves ketchup. She would go so far as to “pretend” to pour out too much ketchup every time she used it, so she could get away with a plateful of ketchup without having to admit that she really wanted a plateful of ketchup. She has since divorced, not because she liked loads of ketchup, but likely because she never felt quite “free” to be herself in the relationship…ketchup fanatic and all. Now her motto in life is: “Just eat the damn ketchup!” LOL! She refuses to hide her love of ketchup or any of her other “weird” quirks, assuming the right person will love her for everything she’s NOT as much as everything she IS. What a fabulous, footloose and fancy-free attitude!
How many of us are pretending to be something we’re not out of fear that we’re just not lovable enough AS WE ARE? I’m guilty of this, too. For example, I love Chick Fil A. Actually, I’m a bit addicted to it. There is one right down from my house, and I never go to the grocery store or cook, so I literally eat Chick Fil A once or twice a day, every day (with a few exceptions.) But is this something I would broadcast to a guy who I was on a first date with? Probably not…for fear that he would think I was unhealthy or not body-conscious enough or a fast food monger. But really…who CARES if I eat Chick Fil A for every meal or if my friend goes through a bottle of ketchup a day? Does it really say ANYTHING about our hearts or the kind of people we are? Are not our quirks and foibles and oddities the VERY things that make us who we are, as unique and individual as our own fingerprint?
As Oprah says in the quote above, you will never become all you were meant to be as long as you are pretending to be someone you’re not. And I’ll carry that a step further and say you’ll never find the love you’re meant to find as long as you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. You’ll attract people who are compatible with who you’re PRETENDING to be, not with who you truly ARE. I say it’s time to cast off the fear of not being accepted for who we are, flaws and all, and realize that the RIGHT people will love us right where we’re at. Someone who TRULY wants to be with you isn’t going to be scared off by a ketchup fetish. And if they are…chances are, they’re not the right one for you anyway. So whatever your “thing” is…stop knockin’ it and start rockin’ it! And always, always…EAT THE KETCHUP! J