The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: A Relationship Shouldn’t Require Windex to be CLEAR
Quote of the Day:
Beware of the word “friend.” It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I’m picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep. ~Greg Behrendt
The Single Woman Says:
I received an email this morning from a very sweet reader of mine who is roommates with her “best guy friend,” except they also dated at one point and are still sleeping together and she’s still in love with him only now he’s also dating someone else and didn’t have the guts to tell her til she walked in on him with the other girl and caught him red-handed. Does that sound like a run-on sentence? That’s because the RELATIONSHIP is a run-on sentence! I don’t say that to be harsh, but to be real. Ladies, it is VITAL to know when to put the period on the end of the sentence and close the book. No “friendship” is worth raking yourself over the coals and having your heart re-broken every single day for. To my friend who sent me the email, I would say: 1) Move out. Immediately. 2) Reevaluate your definition of the word “friend.” 3) Make some new friends, who actually fit the definition of the word “friend” and aren’t hooking up with you one night and skeezing around with random chicks the next.
Here’s the bottom line: If a man isn’t into you anymore, he’s not into you anymore, and staying in his proximity, acting like his BFF, cozying up to his friends and family, doing his laundry, walking his dog, drawing his nightly bubblebaths for him, etc, etc, are not going to magically make him wake up and realize the error of his ways. PLEASE, ladies, I beseech you…get back in touch with your DIGNITY. Do not lower yourself to becoming an indentured servant, a stalker, or “one of the guys” just to try and stay in any man’s line of sight. MOVE ON. I don’t wanna hear how “he’s such a great friend” or “I know he still cares about me” or “He still has my CD’s” or any other nonsense of the sort. A REAL friend would care enough about you to let you go, to make it CLEAR that the relationship was over, and to not stay in this perpetually hazy, gray, relationship purgatory with you just to keep a warm body around for lonely nights. And here’s a “friend” you seem to be ignoring – YOU. Be your own best friend. THAT’S the friend you need to be worried about in this scenario. Take care of HER heart and HER needs and HER feelings…and let the faux friends GO. Someone who genuinely wants to be with you will make it crystal clear – they won’t hand you a bottle of Windex and expect you to make your way through the smudgy BS to get to the heart of their true feelings.
I just started following your blog today and all I want to say to this is WORD! This is so true. I hope your friend took your advice to heart. I love true friends who are always ready to put it straight, no haze no mist, just straight out clear. Thanks Mandy
I just want to say thank you! Thank you for allowing God to use you to put HIS love out for all of the people to see, not just singles, not just women, but everyone can relate to these posts. I especially took this as a AHA moment, although we all know this to be true, we make excuses for guys or girls, “Friends” we want to keep around and be apart of their lives. I just want to say God Bless you and continue to do as He allows and calls you to do. Thank you! Thanks God!
This brought me to tears. Every day I get my heart broken.
I don’t know why I chose to stay in love or in this friend category with a man who clearly won’t take me in his arms as his lady but will me quick to take me to bed. It is so hard to explain how someone can make you feel so in love and suddenly not care to know if you are alive.
I’m done. Taking my heart back to take care of it the way he decided not to. So tired of these anxieties and depressing days.
Thank you Mandy.
on point!!!! couldnt of said it bettter myself, this needs to be photocopied a million time and be given out to everyone i know.
on point!!!! couldnt of said it bettter myself, this needs to be photocopied a million times and be given out to everyone i know.
You talking to a whole lot of us Mandy, keep talking. Thank you