Behind the Curtain: Nick Carter

NickCarterAs a Boyband Enthusiast, the first album I remember listening to was the Jackson 5. The first concert I attended was the New Kids on the Block. And though for several years in the 90’s, it seemed boybands might become extinct, by the time I got to college, the craze had circled back around with a vengeance. I attended my first Backstreet Boys concert in 2001 and had a blast, but I didn’t really get to see what all the fuss was about until last summer, when I attended four shows on the NKOTBSB tour and came away from the experience a full-blown Backstreet Boys fan.

Though all four guys elicit ear-piercing squeals from the ladies, it seems none so much as its youngest member and, coincidentally, my fellow Nashvillian, Nick Carter. And while Backstreet Boys will head overseas with the New Kids on the Block this spring to continue their wildly successful run, Nick has a little business to tend to on the homefront first – a nationwide solo tour. His latest solo effort is aptly titled “I’m Taking Off” – why?  “I felt like this was my moment,” explains Nick. “I’m rising to the occasion and taking off.” As an accomplished writer, producer, and director, with a solo career that has resulted in more than one million albums sold worldwide, and the next leg of the NKOTBSB tour on the horizon, it seems the Backstreet Boy has become a Backstreet Man. And who better to weigh in on mysterious male behavior?

The Single Woman:
A hot topic in my column recently was guys who break up with girls via Facebook/text message/etc. What are your thoughts on that? Punk move, or just avoiding the drama?

Nick Carter:  From a guy’s perspective, there is no easy way to break up with a girl. Most of the time, we are afraid of confrontation so if you do it over the phone, in a text message, or even face-to-face it usually never turns out good. Maturity is also a factor to consider. The older you are, the more heartache and break-ups you’ve had. This can make you jaded and essentially more used to it. My best advice is…MAN UP!

TheSW: Why does it seem like guys would sometimes rather hang out with “their boys” than “their girl”?

NC: Having guy time is important to a certain degree. I feel that the best bet is to find someone that can be your guy and girl. How cool is it to be able watch a football game with your girl and at the same time catch a Twilight flick. That’s a best friend…with benefits!

TheSW: Sometimes it seems like when a guy wants out of a relationship, he starts being mean and picking fights to get the girl to break up with him so he can avoid the confrontation. Do you think this is true, and if so, why are some men so afraid of confrontation?

NC: Communication is key to a relationship. If you really love someone and feel they don’t love you back, don’t be afraid to ask what’s wrong. There’s a thing called being the bigger person. You can get answers that you want by confronting the situation head on! Just say, “I feel that you don’t want to be in this relationship, if so that’s okay, you always have the choice to leave or stay.” Say something like that and watch what happens. You might actually be shocked and happy with the outcome.

TheSW: True or False. “Once a player, always a player.” (Feel free to elaborate!)

NC: Love can change everything, but be careful. You have to be sure that the player truly loves you first. Once that happens the game is in YOUR hands.

TheSW: Can men and women ever be “just friends”? I asked your boy Jordan Knight this question and he said no, which caused a bit of controversy. What do you think? Have you ever had a girl who you were just friends with?

NC: This is tricky. You are dealing with hormones and attraction. It is possible, but don’t be fooled. Most guys are always looking at your butt!

TheSW: What are the Top 5 qualities you look for in a girl?

NC: Qualities are like presents to me. I find it exciting discovering the different treasures that each girl possesses. Like Forrest Gump said, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” Guys, I recommend you find, cherish, and appreciate every different quality in our beautiful aliens from Venus.

TheSW: Do guys ever really get “intimidated” by women, or is this something women tell ourselves just to feel better when a guy isn’t interested?

NC: I am sort of a shy guy. Ever since elementary school it was hard for me to talk to girls. I actually don’t mind it when a girl (like Timberland says in his new song) “makes a pass at me.” There are all sorts of guys out
there. Some may get intimidated, but in my opinion, there’s not a lot. 

TheSW: One of my readers asked: “How can I get my boyfriend to trust me again after I cheated on him/lied to him?” Do you think it’s possible to regain that trust in a relationship? And what are your thoughts on “Once a cheater, always a cheater”?

NC: Love will make you do some silly things. You can be blind and at the same time see the world in a whole new light! Every situation is different. I’m not saying that it’s okay to cheat, but I do believe in second chances. If you are still together that means something. Keep working on your relationship. No one said it would be easy.

TheSW: Fairytale endings – art imitating life, or life imitating art? Is “Happily Ever After” a realistic goal?

NC: I truly believe that everyone deserves to be happy. There is someone for everybody out there. Be prepared, though. Your fairytale may be a little different than those Disney movies you watched when you were little. Searching also tends to get people in trouble. You should let it be organic. It may sound funny, but I suggest you read some astrological signs. You may be surprised how right on they are. We are all made of stars, moons, and water. There’s a bigger thing happening out there. And remember, happiness is in the eye of the beholder, or wait…was that beauty?


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Nick Carter is currently touring the U.S. on his “I’m Taking Off” tour. To learn more about the man behind the answers and to see if he’s coming to a city near you, visit

The Single Woman’s “Behind the Curtain” series goes where no woman has gone before – inside the male mind – to reveal the answers to some of the most compelling and relevant relationship questions by some of pop culture’s most compelling and relevant figures.




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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only