The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Just Say No to Settling

Quote of the Day:

“You have to set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

The Single Woman Says:

Every once in awhile, I’ll get a random tweet from someone out there in Twitter Land who feels the need to tell me “why I’m still single.” (As if there has to be some deep, dark, hidden reason for why I choose to hold out for the best and not settle for less.) Today I received a particularly noteworthy one, brimming with such narrow-minded ignorance, I felt I had to share it.

“That’s probably why you’re the single women, because you expect to much.” 

My internal response to this was: Please learn the diff between “to” and “too.”

My actual response to this was:

“If I’m The Single Woman because I have high standards/expectations, I will very gladly stay The Single Woman. The lowering of standards & settling is the very reason there is such a high rate of divorce. #IdRatherBeSingleThanSorry”

Since when did high standards and expectations become a BAD thing? Would it make this guy and the other people out there who don’t quite grasp single life feel more at peace with their own lives if I were to do compromise my standards and settle for the first Tom, Dick, or Harry that comes along, so as to no longer be “The Single Woman”? And is being “The Single Woman” or “a single woman” or even “a single man” such a terrible thing that it’s worth lowering the bar on what you expect from life and love in order to avoid the dreaded title of “single”?

To the man who made the comment this morning…to anyone who mocks single people for being brave enough to fly solo without fear…and to my beautiful readers who travel this single journey with me every day, I say this:

I will NEVER lower my standards or my expectations to be with ANYONE. We were not put here on this earth to squeak by and to half-ass it and to settle for a lukewarm, watered down version of love OR life for fear of other people judging us for choosing to walk alone instead of with someone who is unworthy of us. Our life can’t rise any higher than our standards. And I’ve learned that if someone criticizes you for having high standards, it’s probably because they don’t meet them.

Rise above settling in life or in love. And next time someone tells you your standards are too high, don’t apologize. Tell them thank you. The standard you set determines the life that you get. And those who know their worth don’t even entertain the less things. They hold out for the best things.


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