This one's for the (single) girls

I’m always surprised (and sometimes a little horrified) at some of the comments I get on my Twitter page, mostly from men, mostly asking me: “If you know so much, why are you still single?” It doesn’t always come in the form of a question. Sometimes it comes more in the form of an accusatory comment: “THAT’S why you’re still single!” or, “You must be (insert derogatory insult here) – and THAT’S why you don’t have a man,” or “If you’re still single, what right do you have to give anyone advice?” Comments like that always A) Leave me a bit baffled that in the year 2010, some people out there still can’t fathom that a woman might possibly (perish the thought!) be single by CHOICE, and B) Make me snicker a little at the suggestion that a woman is thought to have a significant lack of intelligence simply because she lacks a significant other. I suppose, according to that logic, the following esteemed bachelorettes had or have nothing of significance to offer to mankind, due to the lack of a ring on their left hand: Susan B. Anthony, Joan of Arc, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, the Bronte sisters, Helen Keller, Coco Chanel, and Oprah Winfrey. Oh, and scratch incredibly beautiful and accomplished divorcees like Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, and Halle Barry off that list, too, since they don’t currently “have a man.” Since when did our relationship status become symbolic of our status in life? Since when did it take “putting a ring on it” to give a woman value and worth? And since when did “single” become synonymous with “desperate”? In the post-modern, post-Sex & the City, post-Spice Girls world we live in, hasn’t the notion of “Girl Power” caught on yet? It seems that although women have had the right to vote for decades now, they still don’t have the right to vote for how they’re going to spend their own lives.

So, as the fierce and fabulous Martina McBride would say: “This one’s for the girls.”

This one’s for the girls who believe in love, but also believe in themselves.

The ones that have looked settling in the eye and walked away.

The ones who know their worth better than to accept a life less than the one they deserve.

The girls who happen to prefer registering for pole-dancing aerobics to registering for china.

The girls who choose margarita parties over Tupperware parties.

The girls who know they don’t need a ring to sing…or a mate to be great.

The girls who know that ME has to come before WE.

The ones who aren’t afraid to be late bloomers.

The ones who like owning their own schedules, their own weekends, their own independence.

The ones who boldly chart their own path…even if it doesn’t include a white picket fence.

The ones who hope for romance but with or without it, crank up the music and DANCE.

The ones who refuse to be grounded by the unaccompanied journey – but realize that those who fly solo often have the strongest wings.

The ones who know it takes guts and heart and courage to walk a mile in a single woman’s shoes – and sometimes a fabulous pedicure.

The girls who don’t wonder why they’re single – but wander while they’re single.

The girls who don’t allow their joy to depart simply because love hasn’t yet arrived.

This one’s for the girls who know that: “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” ~Sarah Jessica Parker

At the end of the day, next time you check the box “S” for single, remember this: No longer is “S” a scarlet letter to be ashamed of, but a mark of your true Superwoman status. Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out. Whether or not you have someone in the passenger seat, you are still the driver of your own life and can take whatever road you choose. So the next time you hit a speed bump otherwise known as the age-old question “Why are you still single?” look ‘em in the eye and say: “Because I’m too fabulous to settle.”


7 Responses to “ This one's for the (single) girls ”

  1. Robin
    August 13, 2013

    Love this and totally relate. Thank you for the breath of fresh air!!

  2. Bhagya
    August 15, 2013

    Thank u so much! It gave me such a strength awake and see. I really needed this kind of a idea because since I was a kid I thought to be single and I love freedom more than anything but at the university one person cud destroy my intentions and my policies just because I was been too kind and tolerating. Now I need to be the “me” I was in my childhood. It was such a mentality I was always happy and goal oriented. I worked so hard and cud attend the best technical university in my country with a high score. I need that mentality again! A free and dedicated to work. Full of strength and elated. Thank u!!

  3. Cas
    November 15, 2013

    I’m divorced, I’m single, I’m a mom, I’m a soccer coach, I’m a home owner, I’m a car owner, I’m a motorcycle owner, I’m a daughter, I’m a sister, I’m an executive with an MBA and I don’t NEED a man. I’m suprised also that in 2013 I’m asked if I’m moving in and sharing my bank account with a guy I’ve been dating for a year…. really?! I pray my daughters can live for “me” and not “we”. Thank you for these thoughts. It may just get printed and put on their walls 🙂

  4. Kenya
    December 28, 2013

    Love this!

  5. Leslie
    January 31, 2014

    This was great, “I’m too fabulous to settle”. Still, I would like the warmth of a companion. I think.
    I love the response and will use it from now on when asked.

  6. Kelly
    September 13, 2014

    So true! I’m asked this question a lot but can never find the right reply. I think that what you say in your book is true:
    God puts us through relationships and lets them not take full flight because then we will miss out on our lives. It is hard but I am seeing this with my career. I love your book and will continue to follow
    Keep doing what you’re doing!
    – Kelly

  7. September 18, 2014

    I really loved reading this blog. I’m going through a little funk right now with not knowing whether I will find a mate. So, this blog really helped make me feel so much better! I needed an uplifting message and this was it. So, thank you so much!!

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Life doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
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Something wonderful is on the horizon
Turn Toward the Sun CoverLife doesn’t always look the way we want it to look. In Mandy’s upcoming book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is, you’ll find encouragement to live in the moment, sit with your experiences, and trust God with the unknown.
Preorder from Baker Book House for 40% off and free shipping!*
*US shipping only